I must say, everyone has been rather helpful!

So, in the spelling bee, I placed fifth out of 1000 students or so. Therefore, in order to celebrate, I shall release five chapters in the course of one week - Naruto, Genin Sasuke (who is quite different from the other and I am only doing since I lost to Itachi in rock-paper-scissors) Sakura, Kakashi, and Gai and Lee. I am doing Gai and Lee at the same time in order to...well...you'll see.

I would like to also notify everybody that the Cursed Diary of Team Hawk has been sighted yet again - this time, however, in a forest. In the Inuyasha universe. It was rather amusing to see people read, have nosebleeds, read again, and add stuff. And repeat the process over and over again.

Oh, and if you want to know what word I lost out on, it was "herbaceous". I spelled it "herbacious". The winner won with the word "haughtiness" as the runner-up spelled "faux" as "Pho".


Naruto's Ramen Adventures was a diary written by Naruto on his day-to-day prank happenings. Sometimes, the very boring one would appear (like causing a Jounin to faint with a large nosebleed) to the extremely elaborate one (like that time where a giant contraption was created in the village). The giant contraption was actually thought to be a bomb, so the Hokage had ANBU scrambling around like ants trying to find the key. It was later discovered that this giant, elaborate thing was actually a device used for cracking eggs in such a way, that, when 10 eggs were cracked, the writing "UZUMAKI NARUTO: FUTURE HOKAGE" could be seen from the air.

The list of the more memorable pranks are shown below.


PRANK TITLE: THE SASUKE-CHAN PRANK

Prank Purpose: To turn one Uchiha Sasuke into a girl.

Status: Complete

Amount of Tries: One [1]

Procedure for Completion:

Lure Sasuke towards training grounds using henge of one Uchiha Itachi. Make sure to use the solid henge. Not the academy one. Once Sasuke joins you in the clearing, immediately activate the pepper-spray smoke screen you should have set up earlier. Proceed to solid-henge-force Sasuke into an extremely attractive girl.

Probable Errors:

1. Somebody mistakes you for the real Uchiha Itachi. And calls the ANBU. And you're screwed. Will land you in talk about Hokage about how the hell did you figure out what Itachi looks like and why did you do it.

2. You end up using the academy henge. This will result in severe Sasuke beat-up-and-emo session(s). Also will land you in talk with Hokage about where the hell did you figure out what Itachi looked like.

3. Sasuke manages to get past the pepper spray smoke screen. VERY UNLIKELY. But, in the case that it should, activate the approx. 23 back-up pepper spray smoke screens.

4. The solid-henge-force does not work. Run away. Shunshin and Kawamiri at the same time if you have to. Hell, use the Kyuubi even!

5. You, in your attempt to escape from a rage-filled Sasuke, somehow end up freeing the Kyuubi. If that happens, calmly imagine giant raspberries and imagine Kyuubi eating them. This may distract said Kyuubi and allow you to force it back. Then, conjure up random pictures (such as tape and mustard) to further confuse the Kyuubi.

6. Step #5 did not work. Offer the Kyuubi a giant cookie. Then, run, change your name and appearance, and live as a hermit forever.

7. You cannot change Sasuke back into a boy. If this occurs, it is OK. Maybe Itachi will fall in love and problem solved. If not, use the solution for Step #6. Including the Kyuubi part.


PRANK TITLE: THE ENDLESS MERRY-GO-ROUND

Prank Purpose: How many ANBU can you get dizzy if ANBUs can get dizzy?

Status: Completed, but possible to break record

Record: Three [3] ANBU

Amount of Tries: Forty-seven [47]

Procedure for Completion:

Set up a long string around the village, and string more string around the entire village. Then, attach random clues to oranges, throw them at ANBU, and watch in amusement as the ANBU flicker around everywhere. Toss down chocolate tied to oranges every five seconds to a different ANBU. When out of different ANBU, repeat process, making sure each ANBU gets the same amount. Watch in amusement again as they finally collapse from dizziness - hopefully.

Probable Errors:

1. The ANBU do not get dizzy. No problem. Bombard them with oranges and various pieces of (vaguely) hard fruit.

2. You ran out of fruit to thrown. No problem. Continue with rocks.

3. You have terrible aim and the ANBU locate you and capture you. Scream bloody murder (literallly) before yelling random things to surprise the ANBU.

4. #3's solution failed and you are currently sitting in front of the Hokage, who is currently asking you what the hell were you thinking. Babble out something random, like "I drink coffee with 5 sugar cubes from extra energy before jumping out the window.

5. Said window is closed. Crash through the window. The window of the Hokage tower is broken every week, so no harm.

6. For some bizarre reason, the window does not break. That is rather strange. So, use your Sexy Jutsu and get the hell out of there.

7. AUGH HELP ME THE ANBU CAPTURED ME AND I'M BEING SENT TO THE MILITARY POLICE FOR INTERROGATION! Well, my friend, pray that Sexy Jutsu works on Uchihas.

8. Sexy Jutsu does not work on Uchihas. Well, then. Cooperate nicely, but if it goes too far, run away.

9. I CAN'T RUN! OK...start crying randomly and feign insanity?

10. None of them work. Well, you're screwed.


PRANK TITLE: GOOD DEEDS FOR THE VILLAGE, BAD DEEDS FOR THE VILLAGE'S PERVERTS

Prank Purpose: To expose all perverts

Status: In progress

Record: Currently, have exposed 17 perverts and one pervert multiple time.

Procedure for Completion:

Use your Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu and stake out every hot spring in Konoha. When pervert is seen, take down one wall of women's bath (the wall behind which said pervert is hiding) and scream "PERVERT!" loudly and in as girly a voice as possible. NOTE: BEWARE OF A CERTAIN PERVERT WITH LONG WHITE HAIR AND WARTS ON NOSE. EXTREMELY PERSISTENT.

Probable Errors:

1. The 'pervert' is actually an animal. In that case, run. And run. And run.

2. The pervert has decided to give chase for ruining his (quote) "Wonderous research!" Use you Sexy Jutsu and run.

3. You are reprimanded by the Hokage on the terms that you are (quote again) "Destroying the peace of which Konoha is currently enjoying after the wars". In that case, loudly explain to the Hokage that you are doing a good deed.


PRANK TITLE: I AM EPIC, AND YOU ARE NOT

Prank Purpose: To prove that I, Uzumaki Naruto, can and will defeat Uchiha Sasuke, the disagreeable little brother of ANBU Weasel, who gives me dango and pocky every once in a while.

Status: Uncompleted

Number of Tries: 43

Procedure for Completion:

There is no procedure, just make a random plan up based on the situation.

Probable Errors:

Just consider everything, there's a better chance of failing than succeeding.


PRANK TITLE: THE THREE DREADED 8-LETTER WORDS

Prank Purpose: To expose Uchiha Sasuke to the three dreaded 8-letter words in the same day: "Fangirls", "Stalking", and "Pictures".

Status: Completed...many times

Record: Currently, number of times stands at 132

Procedure for Completion:

Tip off every single girl in the village about a certain location. Then, henge into Itachi (again) and lead Sasuke there. Immediately disappear.

Probable Errors:

1. The girls don't believe you. This is highly unlikely, but if so, henge into Sasuke, walk up to them, and hand them a note telling them to go to a certain location. When they arrive, lead Sasuke to that same location.

2. Sasuke won't follow you. This is also highly unlikely, as Sasuke will do just about anything to kill his older brother (who, in my opinion, does not deserve to be killed. Anyone who will treat me to untainted dango and ramen at any time should not be killed.), so it should not be a problem.


"Naruto..." the glare of Sasuke was very frightening.

Naruto slowly turned his head.

"What is this?"

Naruto's eyes widened comically.

"Oh shi-"


Do not worry, Naruto is alive.

I am typing these all from scratch, so pardon me if they take a bit of time.

See you again,

Byaku~

P.S. I would like to ask you all a question. If I wrote a story about Itachi's genin days (with the sensei being one Morino Ibiki) would anyone read it? I'm considering the idea.