A/N: So with the conclusion of my other story, I bring you a new one! I hope you all enjoy this story like you enjoyed my other one.
Please read and enjoy. And don't forget to review.
Disclaimer: This is the only time I'm going to say this for this story… I don't own D. Gray Man or any of the characters.
Chapter 1 Tears and Sorrow
Allen was sitting in his room, waiting for Kanda to come back from his mission so he could surprise the stoic Japanese teen. He'd been sitting there for over an hour, playing with Tim while wondering just what was taking his lover so long to return. There were very few things that could keep Kanda away for this long, and even though the mission was supposed to last for almost three weeks, Kanda usually finished it in two, and then rushed home so he could see Allen once again. The white haired boy smiled at the thought, they'd only been going out for a few months, and yet they couldn't manage to stay apart without worrying about the other. Then again, with their line of work one never knew what each day would hold.
He heard a knock at his door, thinking it was Kanda finally returned from his mission, he plastered a huge, genuine smile on his face. When he opened the door to find a crying Lenalee, the smile fell while he tried to comfort the girl.
"What happened?" Allen gave the crying girl a huge hug, trying to keep her standing while he brought her into his room. He sat her down on his bed and patiently waited for a response, not wanting to rush the girl.
"I-I-I-t's K-K-Kanda, he-e-e's dead," Lenalee was crying into his shoulder, and felt him stiffen at the words, "I'm so sorry Allen."
This could not be happening, Kanda couldn't be dead. He'd promised to come back, to always come back. Allen felt himself fall to the ground, tears forming in his eyes while he tried to process the information. Kanda was strong, stronger than anyone at the Order, so how had he been defeated? What had gone wrong?
Allen looked up at Lenalee as she hugged him, his voice cracking as he asked, "How? How did it happen?"
Lenalee took a breath, trying to stop herself from crying long enough to explain, "His golem showed us everything. He was on assignment in Germany, but you already know that. While he was in the town searching for Innocence he was attacked by a large group of level two Akuma. When he finished those off there were a few level threes waiting for him. He was too tired to put up much of a fight, but he managed to kill them all. That's when Tyki showed up. Kanda's wounds weren't healing like they were supposed to, and Kanda was exhausted, he could barely manage to stand up. Tyki threw Kanda into a wall, then went over and whispered something into his ear. Then he took Mugen and stabbed Kanda in the heart. By the time the finder that was sent with him caught up, Tyki was gone, and Kanda was too far gone to do anything."
Allen felt the tears fall, running down his face and into his lap. 'Why Kanda? Why? How could you leave me like this?'
"The last thing he said was your name," Lenalee whispered it just loud enough for Allen to catch.
"Where's his body? I want to see him," Allen said standing up on shaking legs and walking into the hallway.
"Allen, trust me you don't want to see, it's horrible," the girl broke into hysterical sobs again, but the white haired boy didn't want to hear it. Anger quickly overpowered grief as he pushed Lenalee up into the wall.
"Where is he?" Allen growled out, sounding nothing like himself.
The girl in front of him looked scared, but managed to stutter out, "In-in-infirmary."
Allen let her go and marched off in the direction of the infirmary. When he got there he found a large group of people around a bed, all of their eyes were red and puffy because of crying. The figure in the bed was covered by a white sheet, but Allen could tell by the dark blue hair that fell past the sheet that it was Kanda. He rushed forward, pushing past the crying people until he reached the bed side. A shaking hand reached for the top of the sheet, wanted to see Kanda's face once more. Another hand stopped him, and when the boy looked up he saw it belonged to Lavi. The red head's one visible eye was filled with tears as he shook his head.
Allen didn't care, he needed to see his lovers face again no matter how bad it was. He smacked Lavi's hand away and pulled the sheet back before anyone else could stop him. What he saw stopped his heart for a few beats.
Kanda's face was just how he remembered it, beautiful and angular with a hint of the iciness that the Exorcist usually displayed. There were a few scratches and cuts that marred his face, but they were nothing compared to the deep gashes that covered his chest and abdomen.
Allen could now understand how his lover was cut down, even with the healing abilities Kanda had, the gashes were just too deep to heal fast enough. He looked back at the Japanese man's face, wondering how he could look so peaceful in death, when he's always been so angry in life. It almost looked like he was sleeping, and that any moment he would wake up and hug Allen, telling the white haired boy that everything was fine.
His black arm reached up to cup Kanda's face, felling the cold, lifeless skin beneath his fingertips. He'd stopped wearing gloves around the Order, feeling safe enough to display his deformity among friends. That was mostly Kanda's doing, the older man had always told Allen he was beautiful, that his arm did nothing to differ that beauty, and if anything it added to Allen's uniqueness. As he touched his lover's face he silently wished that the blue haired man would turn his head and kiss the deformed palm, like he'd done so many times before. It was at that thought that Allen finally let the tears fall.
It had been so surreal until that moment, almost as if someone was going to tell him it had all been a joke. The truth of the situation was finally hitting him, and it was hitting hard. Kanda wasn't coming back this time, and there was nothing he could do about it. Allen collapsed into sobs, clutching the dead exorcist's body to his own, knowing that if he let go, that would be the end, and Kanda would be gone for good.
They let him cry, no one wanted to disturb the poor boy who had just lost his lover. Sure their relationship was supposed to be a secret, so naturally everyone at the Order had known. They had pity in their eyes as they looked at the sobbing boy, he was too young to have to go through something like this.
Komui put a hand on the boy's shoulder, which he shrugged off as he continued to cry. Allen looked up quickly, a thought coming to his grief stricken mind all of a sudden. He looked around the room before turning to Komui.
"Where's Mugen?" Allen asked, wondering why the katana wasn't somewhere near its owner.
"Well Allen, seeing as Mugen is made of Innocence it's been put into special room until we can revert it to its original form, and a new Accommodator can be found," Komui explained calmly.
"It should be with him," Allen said in a dangerously angry whisper, "I don't care if it's made of Innocence, it's his sword, so it should stay with him, at least until the funeral."
There was a moment of silence while everyone waited for Komui's reaction. The man heaved a heavy sigh, "I guess that can be arranged. We have to wait a few more hours to revert it, and even then we aren't likely to find a new Accommodator so soon after Kanda's death, so he can hold onto it a little longer. Johnny can you go get Mugen and bring it up here?"
The scientist nodded his head and walked out the door, heading to the room where Mugen was being stored. Allen heaved a sigh of relief, some of the tension leaving his body when his request was granted. It was what Kanda would have wanted, to have his precious katana with him until the very end, even if it was the weapon that had ended his life. Allen smiled sadly, glad he could do at least this for his lover.
Allen wiped his tears away with his sleeve, trying to stay strong for those around him. He knew he couldn't let his grief overtake him, there was always the possibility that the Earl would come and offer to bring Kanda back, which Allen knew would rip him apart. He looked at his lover's face again, memorizing the plains and beauty he'd come to admire and love. If only he'd been there to help, to fight alongside his other half against Tyki, but the he hadn't been able to. Injuries that he'd retained on the mission before had kept him tethered to headquarters while his lover died. Allen absentmindedly grabbed his abdomen, where a still red scar lay hidden under his shirt.
A few finally tears escaped his eyes as the door opened to admit a sobbing Lenalee and Johnny, carrying Mugen in its sheath. Lenalee ran into Lavi's arms, crying into his shoulder as he gently stroked her hair. It was so similar to what Kanda had done for Allen when he would lose control and his mask would start to crack and fall away. Very few people had seen past Allen's mask, and even then they hadn't been persistent enough to dig much past the initial layer. Kanda had been a different case, he'd seen through the guise almost immediately, and had spent months gently prying away the carefully built walls.
Allen could feel himself start to tear up again as he picked Mugen up from Johnny's hands, placing it next to the stoic samurai that was lying motionless on the bed. He just stood there staring for a moment, not wanting to say any of the millions of things on his mind while everyone was still in the room. He was too polite to ask for everyone to leave, but thankfully Lavi seemed to pick up on his thoughts, looking at the white haired boy before beginning to usher people out of the room.
"I think we should leave Allen alone for a moment, he's been through a lot," Lavi closed the door behind everyone, offering on last sad smile to Allen as he did so. When the door finally clicked shut Allen just stood there for a few moments, staring at the peaceful face before him.
"Why? Why Kanda?" he whispered into the empty room as sobs began to build in his chest again. He walked to stand in front of the corpse again, his hand ghosting over the cold body, trying to commit every contour to memory. When he got to the Japanese man's face he cupped it with both hands, bringing his lips down to kiss the lifeless body.
"How could you leave me alone? You promised you jerk, so why'd you have to go and die?" he breath wisped over the cold face, and warm wet tears fell, slowly coating the lifeless cheeks of his lover.
Allen kissed the lips once more before standing up, a small, watery smile gracing his features as he said the words that would hopefully lessen the pain.
"Goodbye Kanda. Goodbye for good."
A/N: So the start of another story of mine. I would like to thank you for reading, and for those who have read When You Came I would like to thank you all for your continued support.
I love my readers and I hope that you all review on this, the first chapter of many.