A/N an idea came to me and I had to let it out. Yes, I do know that I am writing about 8 fanfics at once. But I had to get this out! This story is based on that quote: "As we rise, hand in hand, I realize that if we had both chosen differently, we might have ended up doing the same thing, in a safer place, wearing grey clothes instead of black ones."
Please review. I need to know what you think!
I stand immobile in a mass of tense people, just as scared and nervous as I. My heart is pounding through my chest. My breaths are short and rapid.
Today is the day. The day that all other days build up to or occur in the aftermath of, impacted by its vast fallout. The day that will shed a different light on the past, whip away the present and transform the future.
You know that the world you live in is an unstable one when you have to choose just one of your best qualities to be able to live as a better person.
Abnegation. Dauntless. Erudite. Amity. Candor.
Selflessness. Bravery. Intelligence. Peace. Truth.
Stones. Coals. Water. Earth. Glass.
Choosing day has begun.
I don't pay attention to the names that are called. I don't see the blood sizzle on the coals, splash on the glass, cloud the water, dissolve in the earth or slip down the stones. Not until Caleb is called.
He stumbles over to the bowls, slowly. Steady as he goes, the knife is brought up to his hand and dragged across his wrist. He doesn't even wince.
Of course. Caleb's blood will spill on to the stones, mingling with the blood of others, and he will become Abnegation.
Of course. Caleb, always so selfless without needing to try. Born for this faction. He fits so perfectly.
I, on the other hand, never could. And never will. I feel it in my soul, I can't live in Abnegation. But can I live anywhere else either?
I am Divergent, as Tori told me. Maybe I don't belong anywhere?
Caleb hesitates in front of the row of bowls, looking for a moment at the simple grey stones, wet with blood. But then my heart stops cold. Caleb moves with a decisive sweep to spill his blood into the repulsive scarlet water, almost completely blood itself.
I gasp but am not heard over the jeers of the Erudite and the mutterings of the Abnegation. I spot my parents in the crowd, my father glares at Caleb with a cold passion, an expression that shocks me almost as much as Caleb's decision. My mother simply stares at my brother as he joins his new faction.
I cry out inwardly. What will I do now? How could Caleb do this? Transferring to Erudite of all factions. He has abandoned his family, his life.
As I think, I realize that I shouldn't be so shocked. Caleb has been dropping hints for a long time, I have just been too blind to see them. I remember his room, his bed, sheets thrown open, a pile of books on the pillow. And what he said before, about thinking of ourselves. He was trying to convince himself the his decision was the right one. Not just me.
All too soon, my name echoes through the room.
I barely conceal a tremble as I move up to the front. I don't know what to do now. I don't know what to choose. I am not fit for a single faction, I am Divergent.
Erudite, one of the factions I have aptitude for, is ruled out. No question. As much as my brother may want to be in that lying, power-hungry faction, I harbour no such secret desire.
I could transfer to Dauntless, that ruthless group of free-spirits. I seriously contemplate spilling my blood onto the coal as I press the knife into my hand, but I would still be leaving my family. To be free, lonely and in the unknown, or to be trapped, loved and at home? It is hardly a fair question.
The problem is, I am certainly not selfless. That was Caleb. Not me. But how can I leave my family behind?
I step forward, blood pooling in my palm. What should I do? What can I do?
I hold my arm out between the searing coals and simple stones. And I decide. My elbows turns mechanically and my blood drips onto the plain grey rocks.
I am selfless.
I am Abnegation.
We all file obediently up the stairs, our steps in perfect, monotonic unison. We wear simple grey clothes, baggy to the point if ridiculous and buttoned up to the throat.
I chose this, I tell myself. I chose Abnegation. But another part of me despairs. I am still locked in that cage my faction built for me. I am not free, and now I never will be.
Suddenly, yells echo up the staircase and I am pushed aside by a sprinting Dauntless boy. The Abnegation are swept to the side, unnoticed, uncared for. We don't matter.
I sigh and continue once the Dauntless have passed. I could have been there. I could have been Dauntless.
I could have been free.
A/N there it is. Virtual muffins for all reviewers!