Hello, old friend. And here we are. You and me. On the last page.
I'm sorry it's short. But yeah.
Thank you to everyone who has followed, favourited, and reviewed. Without your support this probably wouldn't exist! Please leave some feedback, maybe ideas for one shots if you want me to write some :)
Enjoy the finale!
The sun is setting in the distance, fiery streaks soaking into the clouds, which fade softly into purple. I sit mutely on the floor of the train, gazing out the window, listening to the comforting clatter of the train. Tobias sits beside me, but we do not talk or touch. I can sense that he, too, has something heavy weighing on his shoulders.
The weight of my parents' deaths hangs heavily over me, like an oncoming storm.
"What did she do?" Tobias' voice is toneless and flat.
I let a few minutes crawl past before replying.
"It was like the simulation. The fears. That was how she planned to kill me."
"She had my parents. Gave me a gun. Gave me a choice."
"So what did you do? Or what were you going to do?"
I take a breath that shudders through my lungs. "What do you think?"
"You would have given your life. How could you belong anywhere but Abnegation?"
I don't answer.
"She had all of these simulation serums that she tested on me. It was difficult, extremely difficult, to tell what was real. Everything jumbled together. I think she's found a way to get around Divergence. Nothing can stop her now."
I don't voice my thoughts, that Tobias' Divergence is weaker. She won't be able to control me. "What was in the simulations?"
Tobias stares at his shoes. "You. Always you. Dying, or dead. Sometimes it was my father that killed you. And sometimes my mother died alongside you. But, every time, I was helpless. I couldn't stop it. And I thought it was real."
I don't speak, simply touch my hand to his arm. He flinches, before putting his arms around me and pulling me to his chest, so tight, as if reassuring himself that I am there.
"I'm here," I whisper. "It wasn't real."
He kisses the top of my head. "No. But it could have been."
It could have. And it could also have easily been me in his place. Watching him die. Just as... Just as my parents did.
"Is it bad?"
"Is what bad?"
"That I don't feel anything? I'm just empty. My parents just died, and it was my fault. And I'm empty."
Tobias looks out the door of the train, at the city rushing past. "That's what it's like at first. For me, at least. It's shock, like your mind hasn't realized what's happened. But then it hits you. One moment you're fine, but then something happens. A colour, a phrase, a quirk of some kind. Something that reminds you of them. And then you snap."
His mother. His mother, died when he was young. My heart climbs to my throat.
"I feel cold, though. Unfeeling. And it was my doing, all of it. Am I- am I evil, Tobias?"
Tobias whips around so quickly that I jolt, and am taken aback by the ferocity in his eyes. "Don't. You. Ever. Say that. This is a war. They died for you, yes, but it was their choice. Jeanine killed them. Not you. Never you. You are not evil. You are the bravest, most selfless person I know. Don't ever think otherwise."
I look at him, and a part of me feels hope. In some secluded corner of my being, a light is shining. Maybe he is right. Maybe, this war can be won without corrupting ourselves. Maybe I can make it through this without losing myself.
I look out at the city skyline, the sun setting as drops of rain begin to fall from the clouds. The sunlight splinters through each drop, sparkling in a dazzling array of colours. The city itself is crumbling, fires burning through the windows, and smoke rises to the sky. A city at war.
One that I hope we can win, without losing ourselves.
So there you go. Thank you everyone for reading my story, I hope you liked it! Reviewers, favouriters and followers, big big big thank you!
Please drop me a line, I love hearing from you. Ideas for one shots. What you thought. Chit chat about Diverent. Your favourite flavour of ice cream. Whatever. :)
So this is the story of Tobias and Tris in Abnegation. And this is how it ends.