SPOILERS BE HERE. Pretty much covers various details about episodes 14 and 15 so beware. Also the story involves Adam.
Adam picks the movie while Kurt pays the Chinese food delivery man at the door and then finds cutlery and plates for them to use. When he comes back and the title menu for Moulin Rouge is on the television screen he bites his lip but doesn't say no. It's Adam's turn and explaining why this movie makes his heart ache isn't something he's ready to do.
An hour in, Satine and Christian are singing that stupid, heart-breaking song, and Kurt is almost choking on held down sobs, eyes glassy with tears and refusing to blink them free. In his head he tries to focus on reciting through the last decade's worth of Vogue covers. Adam turns to him and smiles, it's not unkind, not judging at all, just a lopsided smile that twists like vines around Kurt's heart because it looks like affection. He pretends it hurts because Satine is dying and Christian can't save her.
"I'll be bawling by the end as well," Adam reveals and then turns back to the film.
Kurt doesn't tell him this was their song. Not even in any special kind of way, not in a sad way, not at all. It wasn't Their Song, that was 'Teenage Dream' and Blaine turned that into something hateful and dirty. 'Come What May' was just one of a long playlist of songs they could sing to each other, with each other, forever. It was never serious, never sad, not for them. They didn't need a song to remind them that their love was forever. This was just a song they sang in the car, screwing up the words and exchanging roles and smiles and playful, wandering hands. To be honest, Kurt always preferred singing the 'Elephant Love Medley,' letting Blaine play the resistant Satine, letting himself chase and kiss and seduce as Christian.
Kurt bites his lips harder and stares at the screen without seeing. Missing Blaine hasn't ached this much since the first few days of not having him. He thinks of anything else for the rest of the movie and when that only leads to Adam, he closes his eyes, curls into his end of the couch, and pretends to be asleep.
If Adam notices him crying silently through closed eyes as Satine dies and the film ends he doesn't mention it. Another appreciable trait, Kurt supposes as Adam returns from taking their plates into the kitchen and shakes him awake.
"You fell asleep," he says as Kurt blinks slowly. Perhaps he did drift off a little at the end there because it takes him a moment to process what Adam says next. "It's too late, you take my bed, I'll sleep on the couch."
They're still at that stage. Deep down, Kurt knows they always will be. But he shakes his head anyway and tries a half smile, "Don't be silly, I can share."
Adam's eyes light up a little and he offers both hands to Kurt, pulling him up. His mouth ghosts over Kurt's, soft and undemanding and Kurt smiles in spite of himself. He pulls back.
"There's a spare toothbrush in the cupboard above the sink," he says and Kurt gives him one last soft kiss before stepping around him and crossing to the small bathroom. He brushes his teeth and stares at his reflection the whole time. When he walks into the bedroom, Adam's shirtless, changed into pyjama pants, and flicking out the covers on the bed, trying to smooth away the night before's creases.
"Sorry, I wasn't expecting—"
"It's fine," Kurt tells him.
It's not. Blaine's bed is always made. Sometimes the reason they stop cuddling, kissing, murmuring sweet nothings after sex is that Blaine can't stand an unmade bed. Kurt teases him for it.
"I'm sorry, I really am exhausted," Kurt lies. "Big week."
"Make yourself at home. I usually sleep on the right side." Adam leaves to brush his own teeth.
By the time he's back, Kurt's laying under the covers, eyes squeezed shut, facing the wall. If Adam suspects he isn't asleep he doesn't say anything. If Adam thinks it's stupid that Kurt's still fully clothed, he doesn't say anything, just slips into bed, dipping the mattress, and turns out the lights.
Kurt dreams. It's not even surprising. He dreams of Blaine and a rooftop he's never seen before. New York, certainly, but quiet, and high above all the other buildings which doesn't make sense but Kurt doesn't notice. There are colorful lanterns and fairy lights and music coming from the air around him. It's misty, the air thick with hanging rain, and when he looks up there are far too many stars for it to really be New York.
Blaine comes to him and sings 'Come What May' and it isn't playful or joyous at all, it's nothing like any of the hundred times they sang it in the car or in Blaine's bedroom or Kurt's kitchen. It's earnest and sad and Kurt feels miserable by the time it's his turn to sing but he sings anyway, just to see the small quirk of Blaine's lips, the ways his eyes go wide and he starts to hope. Kurt doesn't try to stop himself from crying and he lets his voice soar even as Blaine's cracks near the end and the lanterns and fairy lights and stars all flicker and die.
Blaine has fallen to his knees but he isn't begging, he's just staring, waiting, eyes focused and sure, mouth set in a line. Kurt doesn't understand where the light is coming from for him to be seeing Blaine so clearly, but he can. He can see Blaine's throat work as he swallows, licks his lips and says, "The rest of my life," as though he's answering a question Kurt has forgotten he asked. "Whenever you're ready."
Kurt's wakes with a start.
Adam is staring at him, sitting half way up in bed, a hand on Kurt's shoulder. He looks concerned and still half asleep. "Are you okay?" he asks.
Kurt looks down at himself, at where his undershirt is twisted around his chest, bunched up over his belly, the waistband of his pants askew and the covers kicked off. The dream is still too fresh, all of it flooding in and vying for attention alongside Adam beside him. "Just a dream," Kurt tells Adam.
It's not good enough; the concern leaves Adam's face and is replaced by something sadder. There's light coming through the window, it's morning, and Kurt feels his skin flush hot and sticky with sweat.
"That wasn't my name you were calling," Adam says.
Kurt slides from the bed because suddenly it feels like he's trespassing. Adam sits up, naked apart from his pyjama bottoms and stunning, gorgeous, funny, smart, wonderful to Kurt, and Kurt doesn't want him. Adam doesn't seem angry, just a little sad.
Kurt doesn't know how to explain any of this.
"You're not even close to being over him, are you?" Adam sounds resigned, he sighs heavily and runs a hand through his hair, crossing his legs and watching Kurt pull his Henley on. He's about to say something else but stops himself.
After a few deep breaths, Kurt answers, "I don't think I know how to be." And then, "I'm so sorry."
Adam shrugs like it's nothing. "Do you want to be? Over him I mean?"
Kurt stares for a long moment, mostly because the conversation seems so surreal. "I really, really did."
"Did," Adam tells him. "Past tense." He grins that beautiful smile and Kurt's lips quirk up instinctively. "Now what do you want?"
When Kurt's eyes go a little bit wider, Adam's smile becomes a little bit broader. "I really am so, so sorry," Kurt says, biting his lip.
"It's fine," Adam says, waving it off. "I'll see you on campus on Monday?"
"We can get coffee as friends and you can fill me in on all the gossip?" He waggles his eyebrows.
Kurt nods again and then slips out the bedroom door to find his shoes.
He manages to procrastinate away his entire Saturday. Shopping for groceries and a homework assignment and the constant siren call of his phone, lighting up with messages from friends, from his dad, and finally from Blaine. It's silly, Blaine wants to know Kurt's opinion on green-tea-green jeans and he also wants to know Kurt's opinion on how silly a name 'green-tea-green' is. Kurt laughs.
He means to call but he can't quite bring himself to do it. He's been meaning to call since that one night of almost everything after the wedding but Blaine hasn't said anything and perhaps it's easier that way. Except now it really isn't.
Kurt forgets about the green-tea-green question and thumbs out his own query. Do you still love me?
He deletes it of course and then he retypes it. Then he deletes it again.
Do you think we'll end up happily married?
He deletes that one too.
Do you miss me?
He mutters contemptibly to himself as he deletes that.
Do you still love me?
And he hits send before he can stop himself.
His phone rings immediately but he doesn't answer because it has just occurred to him that maybe Blaine has moved on. Maybe Blaine is ringing to tell him about some sexy Warbler that's stolen his heart, or the boy with the glasses Blaine told him about, the one that sits in the corner at The Lima Bean. His phone rings again and Kurt just stares at it.
Blaine sends him a message. As a friend or as more? Why?
Before Kurt has even thought of what to say, another message from Blaine appears. Yes.
Kurt stares at that long enough for a third message to pop up. I'm sorry but you asked and that's the truth.
He shouldn't be smiling but he is. Do you think we're going to make it? He deletes that and tries again. Do you think there's a happily ever after for us?
He hits send, rolls his eyes at himself a bit and wonders when Rachel will get home. He wonders what Rachel will think of all this. Together, he types and sends through.
He waits. He starts making a cup of tea and stares at his phone and begins to doubt himself again. He begins to wish it would just start ringing because surely he wouldn't dare to not answer and then he could hear Blaine's voice and actually ask Blaine properly, make him understand. His phone buzzes with a new message.
I hope so. I hope there's a happily ever after together.
And another a moment later.
You're it for me.
Kurt's heart hammers in his chest, his breath fast and he has to sit down. You're it for me, too.
He scrolls back up through the messages to make sure he is understanding this, to make sure Blaine is understanding as well. Blaine hasn't responded yet so Kurt types some more. You should come to New York as soon as you can. I need to see you.
He hits send just as Blaine's message comes through.
I love you.
And Kurt feels it well up inside of him, blissful happiness, not tempered with anger or regret any more, just excitement and love. I love you, too. He hits send. I want us to be together again.
His phone starts vibrating in his hand before he can hit send on that last text but it doesn't matter. It's Blaine and Kurt only hesitates a second, enjoying the butterflies in his stomach, the way his cheeks are hot and his breath is short and he's in love again, just like that.
Then he sinks into the corner of the couch, slides his thumb over the screen of his phone and answers. "Hi B."