I'm sorry and I am totally trying. I REFUSE TO GIVE UP!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight sadly.


"Ugh," I groaned leaning back in my chair.

Why had I just told her that? Why had I just told her that I wrote music?

I didn't tell that to most people. I didn't tell to that to any people outside family really. Seth knew, that was pretty much it.

I was normally careful about it to anyone I talked to. Granted, I didn't talk to a variety of people. But to those I did talk to, I was careful; I was always guarded.

So why had I let it slip?

Bella was… amazing, just about as amazing as I had always thought she was. Even more amazing now that I knew her a little bit. She was kind and caring. I didn't think that she could harm a fly. She was funny and understanding and always brightened my day. i had begun to look forward to our talks more freely.

But what had compelled me to tell her?

"Edward?" my mom asked knocking on door. It was leaning on the door frame, just barely open.

"Yeah?" I asked, turning around in my chair towards the door. She pushed the door open and leaned against the door frame.

"Are you hungry?" she asked. I looked at the clock 12:30. I hadn't eaten since I'd gotten up at 10:30.

"Um.. yeah I guess," I said, running my hand through my hair, trying to straighten the mess.

"What do you want?" she asked. I shrugged.

"Whatever you have," I said. She smiled at me and closed the door. There was an odd -almost sad- edge to her smile that I couldn't place. I didn't give it much thought.

My mom would probably bring it up here if I didn't go down.

I turned back to my computer and tapped my fingers over the keys, not typing anything. Then I pushed my hands on my desk, sending my chair backwards. I got up slowly. I stretched and began my descent downstairs.

I stood by the kitchen table while my mom heated up last night's pasta.

"Why don't you sit?" my mom asked, seeing that I was just standing by the table.

I didn't really want to. I shrugged but sat. I laid my head down on the table and closed my eyes. My head hurt and the room was spinning, possibly from the lack of food.

"Eat,"my mom commanded, putting a bowl of pasta in front of me with a fork. I smiled at her thankfully and started to eat.

I sighed in relief when the room righted itself and my stomach settled. I ate quickly, shoveling spoonfuls of pasta into my mouth. I put the dishes in the sink when I was done and headed back upstairs.

I frowned when I entered my room. It was much warmer than the kitchen, uncomfortable now. I sighed and sat in my chair. Impulsively, I wanted to open the window but, logically, I knew that would make no sense. What small bit of cool air I had in my room would just rush out into the world. I didn't want to turn the A/C up. I didn't want to end up A.) breaking the thermostat or B.) costing us an extra thousand dollars.

I would live, I told myself.

An hour and a half later, I wasn't singing the same tune. I was sweating. I was inside my house and I was literally dripping sweat. This was something that I had noticed: my room liked extremes. In the winter my room was always super cold or super hot. No other room in my house did this. Sometimes it would get too hot in the winter and it was almost always too cold at night.

It was hot enough that I couldn't focus on anything. I sighed, shut down my computer, and grabbed my phone.

I called Seth. "Seth, man, are you busy?"

"Uh… no. what up?"

"Can I come over? I'm bored and I'm pretty sure it's hotter inside my room than it is outside."


"I'll pick you up at 5," my mom said as I got out of the car.

"Okay. Bye," I said, waving. I walked up the door and knocked.

"Coming!" I heard from inside the house. It was Seth's mother, Sue. Sue was one of the best moms. She was strict but easy to negotiate with. She also very obviously loved her kids.

She opened the door with a smile. "Hey, Edward."

"Hi, Mrs. Clearwater, I greeted stepping into the house.

"Seth is in his room. Go on up."

I thanked her and started towards the stairs.

"Would you like some food?" she asked. I didn't really.

"I don't know. I'll ask Seth," I said and continued up the stairs.

He was playing Minecraft. He was building a… something.

"Hey," he said, not turning around and sounding very distracted.

"Your mom asked if you wanted food," I responded.

"Hm?" Seth asked, pausing the game momentarily. "Um… I guess so." He got up and shouted out the door. "Mom, can we have some snacks?!"

"Sure!" she shouted back. Seth grinned and went back to his computer.

"So what do you want to do?" he asked. I shrugged.


We ended up playing video games while eating chips. His mom came in a had hour into our gaming and told us to go outside.

"You boys are young!" she said. "You should be outside."

Seth and I looked at each other. Neither of us wanted to, really. His mom, however was very persuasive and we ended up offering to go on a walk.

"Are we literally just walking around right now?" I asked about two minutes into our walk.

"Yup," Seth said. "What's happening with Bella?"

I scratched my head. "Umm…. we're talking."

"I'm telling you, I think there's something weird going on," Seth insisted.

I shrugged him off. I considered it for a moment though. Was there something weird going on? The situation was weird, but Bella wasn't a bad person. I didn't think she was at least. I shrugged it off and changed the subject.

"Whatever, man. So what's up with your dad?"

"Same old, same old," Seth shrugged. "He's whining about being in the hospital. Not much less."

"How much longer is he going to be there?" I asked.

"I think another day or two. Mom's going to make him eat more "heart healthy" food, though."

Harry Clearwater had suffered a heart attack two days before our last day of school.

Thankfully, it hadn't been fatal and he was recovering in the hospital.

Seth updated me on his father's condition as we made our way into the heart of our small town.

Ou town had one stop light and a couple of stores. I saw Jacob's crew and nudged Seth in the ribs.

"Ow," he muttered, but he got the message. We turned immediately and started home.

"Well, that was a pointless walk," Seth noted when Jacob was out of sight.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"Nah, it's cool," Seth said. "They're dicks. They should just leave you alone."

"They should," I agreed.

"You know," Seth said. "They might if you stop paying attention to them."

"Shut up, Seth," I said, lacing a playfulness into my tone.

Ignoring them wouldn't do any good.

I knew it wouldn't.


Yeah I suck. Sorry. Rose's POV will be next, I think.