"Cas," he says into the empty air, and he leans against his car like he needs the support. "Cas, I know you can hear me. And I know you won't answer." His fingers knit together around his beer bottle like he's clasping his hands. "And that's- that's fine, I get it. I mean, I think I do. I think you're in a bad place, and you feel like I don't want a part of it."
He sighs. "Well, you should know by now that that's a load of crap. You know I'm here. You know that I'm asking you to come and tell me what's wrong and you're still stayin' away." Drawing on his beer, he glances up at the stars like he can find an answer written there. "And maybe- maybe it's dangerous. Maybe you're staying away to keep me safe, to keep Sammy safe. Like in Purgatory."
"Well, if that's the case, then I don't know what I can say to change your mind. But just- just talk to me. You can leave, you can go away again, just tell me what's goin' on, and then you can run away again. Please."
And he waits like the resounding silence is anything other than what he expected. "Please," he says again, and the air rushes in his lungs and his chest is too small and the beer in his hands is like ice. "Please be ignoring me. Please be hearing me and shaking your head and not doing what I say because you're a stubborn son of a bitch. Cas, buddy…" and it's like a plea but he can't finish it because he keeps seeing an angel blade and Cas's empty eyes and a motel room and "I'm afraid I might kill myself."
He puts a shaking hand over his mouth before he realizes that it's shaking. "You gotta be hearing this. 'Cause you're… you're not answerin' and it's gotta be because you're ignoring me, because otherwise…" He can't say it, and he shuts his eyes like he can shut out all the emptiness around him but all he sees is some generic motel room in some generic corner of the world, an angel with a blade on the edge of the bed trying to steel himself to do it, to just do it already and it's all just too much.
"Listen, Cas, it's okay if you want to stay away," he says after a few ragged breaths. "Just… stay."