A/N: This fic is AU, set in NY. Warning for some language and mature content! Hope you enjoy.
"I swear, if one more of your little boytoys call me again, crying, at 2am in the morning, I'm going to destroy everything you love, burn your fucking house down, take all your money, send naked photos of you to all known media outlet and then kill you. And I'll do it with a smile on my face."
Sebastian blinked a couple of times before smirking at his dark haired friend, who was now glaring at him with dark circles under his eyes. To say that Nick Duval was unhappy was an epic understatement. Phone calls after phone calls, all for the same reason, had been keeping him awake for days now. And it wasn't as if the calls were limited to nighttime. No, he got tens of angry texts throughout the work hours, interrupting important meetings left and right.
There were men after men demanding to know where Sebastian was. What he was doing, who he was with, why he wasn't returning their calls, and a string of other related questions and pleas.
And it was time for an intervention.
"Then turn your phone off," Sebastian replied coolly, returning to his laptop. He was used to his friend's threats, and he also knew that Nick was nowhere near capable of such violence. Sure, he was a complete potty mouth and had recently adapted a sort of Adam Lambert-esque outside of office hours, but deep inside, he was and always will be a good-lil prep school boy.
"Uh, I have to use my phone?" Nick replied, shaking his phone in front of him.
"Change your number," his friend countered coolly, frankly not paying much attention to what the other was saying or doing.
"How do they even know my number anyway?"
"God, I fuckin' hate you so much," Nick spat, slumping onto the empty space on the couch next to his friend. "Get your little groupie under control, man."
"They're not my groupie. They were all consenting adults who agreed for a night of fun," Sebastian answered smoothly. He had become quite a celebrity in the gay community with his sexual prowess and notorious hump and dump attitude towards all, and apparently such reputation enticed more men to try to tame the beast that was Sebastian Smythe. Nick didn't blame them though. Sebastian was one good looking motherfucker, with an attitude that put Perez Hilton to shame.
"Clearly not, because they are willing to sacrifice a limb to see you again. I don't know whether to be impressed or disgusted."
"Fuck off. My head hurts from lack of sleep. This is what I get for being friends with a sex addict. I thought those people only exist in movies. Why can't you be addicted to, I dunno, cocaine, like normal people?"
"I'm not addicted to sex," Sebastian answered with one of his trademark eyeroll. "I just enjoy fulfilling one of the many basic needs of mankind."
"Bullshit. You're an addict."
"Please. I can do perfectly fine without."
"Oh yeah? Bet on it," Nick challenged as he straightened himself up.
"Bet on it. I bet a grand that you can't last a month without sex."
"Thanks for the money, bitch."
"Ah, ah, ah. I'm not done. That also includes no self-gratification. It's only fair that way."
"Considering the last time I did that was back in high school, I should be OK."
"Jesus, how many guys have you slept with?"
"Please, some were repeats."
"You make it sound like you're all innocent."
"At least I'm not addicted. So you're on? One month? A grand?"
"Deal. And once again, thanks for the money."
Nick had a very good feeling about this.
"Sebastian, I swear, if another one of your little-"
"Save it Hummel, I've already heard it all from Nick. Spare me the lecture, I still need my coffee."
Kurt stilled, his lips pursed in frustration. Similar to the case of one Nick Duval, incessant phonecalls and texts had kept the young designer up even when he was trying to catch up on much needed sleep. The lack of sleep was already doing a number on his skin, and his fair complexion simply could not accomodate dark circles.
Once Sebastian had his morning cup of coffee in his hand, the two sat by a small round table at one of the cozier coffeeshops in New York. It was their "thing" to grab morning coffee together every Sunday to catch up.
"You need to make this stop. Look at me," Kurt continued, pointing at his face. "This is not working for me. I need sleep and you know I can't just turn my phone off!"
"Calm down. It won't happen again for a while."
"What do you mean?" Kurt ventured carefully, taking a sip of his coffee.
"Nick and I made a no-sex bet for a month. One grand."
"And when did this bet take place?"
"Hope you have the money," the young designer snorted ungracefully, not forgetting to add a dramatic eyeroll.
"Why does everyone think that I'm some sex addict? I'm really not. And if anything, I think I'm doing the rest of the gay community a favor."
"Sometimes, I really wonder why we're friends."
"I do too."
"You seriously think you can last an entire month?"
"Why not? It's not that big of a deal."
"Oh, this is going to be good."
"How's Blaine doing?" Sebastian asked, quickly changing the subject. It was still too early on a Sunday morning to be under the usual Hummel scrutiny. And there was really nothing like mentioning Kurt's new boyfriend to take the focus away from him.
"He's busy. As usual," Kurt answered with a wistful sigh, trying not to think about how they had to cancel their dinner date last weekend. Blaine and Kurt had been dating for the last 3 months or so, and they were what others referred to as "the picture-perfect couple." For Sebastian, it was almost nauseating to watch the affectionate glances, the romantic gestures and pet names being thrown around all the time. He found it alarming that they never seem to even get in an argument.
Kurt was clearly prone to verbal aggression, which meant that Blaine had reached that state of enlightenment where he found no faults in others. Sebastian was sure that the couple fighting would mark the beginning of the apocalypse.
"Yeah, you two are the reason why I don't do relationships."
"What's that supposed to mean!"
"You know exactly what I mean."
"You're just jealous."
"Yes, Hummel, because I'd rather be tied down and have my life controlled rather than enjoy epic nights of mind-blowing sex with the hottest men of this planet. Oh no, my life is just so horrible."
"That wasn't a compliment."
"It sounded like one to me," Sebastian answered with a smirk before taking a sip of his coffee. "Christ, this coffee is not strong enough today. And it tastes like shit," Sebastian scowled at the cup in disbelief. He should've seen this coming, considering that the usual barista was nowhere in sight today.
"I see that signs of sexual deprivation is starting to show already."
"Ha, ha. No, it's the new barista. She has no fuckin' idea what she's doing."
"Stop being so mean."
"She should've made better coffee then."
"Yup, definitely sexually deprived. It's going to be a long month for you, Smythe. Here, let me in on the bet. I'm putting down a grand too."
"I just get richer and richer."
"Ha. Wait till I tell everyone else about this."
"I suggest you keep this to yourself unless you want very provocative and compromising pictures to pop up every time someone types Kurt Hummel into Google."
"But I haven't- oh, wow I hate you."
"I seem to be hearing that a lot these days," Sebastian mumbled into his cup, deciding that any caffeine was better than no caffeine. He shot a scathing look at the oblivious barista before placing the almost cup on the table with more force than necessary.
"Didn't you bring me out here to talk about something?" the taller man questioned warily.
"So you know I have another show coming up in a couple of weeks."
Sebastian nodded, assuming that Kurt was talking about yet another fashion show. His friend seemed to be in quite high demand these days. Not surprising, considering how talented he was.
"I want you on the runway."
"Shouldn't you be talking to my manager?"
"Don't be a dick, Seb. I know you're on a break, because I remember you threatening your manager that you were going to quit if he didn't give you a few months off, and well, I need you wearing my fine creations. Is your manager OK, by the way? I swear that he had aneurysm when you broke the news to him."
"He's fine, he'll survive."
"So will you do it?"
"I'm on a break, remember?"
"Come on! OK, fine, you can take an outfit of your choice from the show afterwards."
"Text me the details later, because I'm not going to remember anything you tell me right now."
"I'm really starting to think that you're going to regret taking on the bet."
"Shut up. We're going for coffee somewhere else."
Sebastian slumped onto his couch, vaguely registering the documentary playing on the large flat-screen TV. He never knew that there was so much sex on TV these days. Some documentary on hyenas was the only thing he could settle on without triggering any sexual need.
The model groaned lazily when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Digging it out, he took it after confirming that it was just Kurt.
"Open your door!"
"There's a surprise for you."
"I'll check tomorrow."
"Don't be an asshole. Come on! Open it!"
"Yes, princess," Sebastian grumbled as he dragged himself off the bed, across the spacious living room and to the front door. When he flung the door open roughly, he was met with a small crowd of people, most he had never seen.
"What the hell is this?" the model demanded when his eyes landed on Kurt, who was holding up a champagne bottle.
And with that, people were rushing into his house. Sebastian could see with acute clarity that most of them were male models who made frequent appearances on Kurt's fashion shows.
"Hey man, how are you holding up?"
Sebastian narrowed his eyes at Nick, who had also decided to join in on what was clearly a ruse to get him to cave.
"What? It's just a party. I guess your invitation got lost in the mail, so I brought the party to you."
"Fun. You're officially on my list, right next to Hummel over there. I'll give you a moment to say good-bye to your life."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Nick countered in a sing-song voice, his lips stretched into a triumphant grin. Sebastian groaned as he eyed the undoubtedly gorgeous and most likely gay models throwing him suggestive looks. Some of them, he had worked with and had, well, also slept with, but most of them were fresh faces, which meant...
Sebastian shook his head, willing the train of thoughts to a halt. There was no way that he'd lose to the stupid bet, let alone on day 5. His pride would never give Kurt and Nick the satisfaction. He was now going to have to keep himself occupied devising diabolical plans to not necessary ruin his friends lives, but to perhaps make it very difficult for them.
But goddamn it, the jeans were really fucking tight on those models.
Once the music was on full volume (thanks to Sebastian's ridiculously pricey sound system) and most of the bottles from his drink collection were out and being shipped off from one model to another, Sebastian found it very difficult to remember that the bet even existed.
"Oh for fuck's sake, will you guys all just fuck off?" Sebastian exploded after the 12th person in the first hour of the impromptu gathering to come onto him. While he'd normally have been more than glad to take up on the offer, he knew what was at stake. Hell, he was pretty sure that his friends had told everyone currently occupying his house was in on the bet.
Kurt began giggling uncontrollably, partly because of the alcohol, but mostly from pure joy at seeing Sebastian Smythe so aggrevated. It was a rare treat, and he was so close to filming it, but Kurt valued his phone too much to subject it to Sebastian's wrath. Nick, however, had let the more rational part of his brain go, because he was already taking HD video footage of the scene.
"Duval, I swear-"
"This, my friend, is going on facebook."
"I'll fucking murder you," Sebastian threatened menacingly, peeling a particularly grabby hand from his waist.
"Worth it," Nick cackled before saving the video and walking off.
Needless to say, Sebastian was not a happy camper for the duration of the party. As for his two friends?
Best. Party. Ever.
It was Sunday again, which meant an entire week had gone by without any sexual gratification on Sebastian's part. He was starting to find just about anyone fuckable, and he really did not want to go down that road. There were no more visits to clubs, bars or even coffeeshops, where he could potentially run into some guy who would give the model the small push needed to throw all inhibitions out the window.
His phone snapped him out of dark thoughts when his phone began ringing again. He sincerely hoped that it wasn't one of the string of friends with benefits, because he honestly didn't think that he had the willpower to refrain from jumping into bed with one of them.
"If this is another surprise, the pictures will go on the web."
"Relax. I just had a favor to ask of you."
"Shush. Look, I have a cousin flying over today and I have to be in Paris for the next few days, so..."
"I dare you to finish that sentence."
"I didn't quite catch that, Hummel. Oh, your time's up. I'm hanging up."
"Please? Only for a few days, I swear. He's really nice."
"I'm sorry. Is that supposed to make me say yes or...?"
"Seb, please? Just for a few days."
"Why can't he just stay at your place by himself?"
"Because he doesn't know a thing about New York."
"Ask your boytoy then."
"Blaine's not my boytoy, he's my boyfriend, and he's going to be way too busy."
"And now you expect me to babysit him?"
"That's even worse."
"Will you stop bothering me if I say yes?"
"Yes. And I'll get you some of your favorites from Paris."
"Fine. Impress me."
"OK. I'll drop him off in a couple of hours?"
"Wow, you really planned ahead with this one, didn't you."
"See you in a bit! Want me to pick some coffee up on my way?"
"As long as it's not made by the shitty barista."
Sebastian hung up and resisted the urge to delete Kurt's number from his phone. He really didn't need to be babysitting someone when he was already wearing thin. He could already picture what was going to happen.
This unwelcomed addition to the house was Kurt's cousin. Which meant that the two were related. Which probably meant that he could be described in the following adjectives: sensitive, prude, obnoxious and all words synonymous. He had seen Kurt's brother and was not impressed by the Hummel lineage. The guy was gargantuan, with intelligence rivaling that of a pigeon and equally prudish and sappy as Kurt. Sure, Finn was nice and all, but it was all so nauseating.
Sebastian didn't have much preparation to do, since his house was always kept looking like a model house. He was not fond of anything messy (and that included relationship drama or clingy one-night stands), and couldn't give a rat's ass that a clean room was apparently the sign of a sick mind.
He sauntered into the guest room and did a once-over, checking that the bed was set and the small closet was empty. Kurt had stayed over on a number of occasions and had decorated the room looking especially gay, which Sebastian resented but couldn't be bothered to fix. He took a quick shower and dressed casually in a white tee and a pair of black, slim-fitting jeans, his hair left slightly messier than usual.
And a few minutes later, Kurt had arrived.
Sebastian opened the door with as much annoyance on his face he could muster, more to get on his friend's nerves than anything. Kurt was standing with a coffee in his hand and a forced smile on his face. Sebastian took the cup as he looked around. It was just his friend standing.
"Where's your cousin?"
"He'll be here in a minute. He just left something in the car and had to go get it."
"Just a head's up, if he causes any trouble, I'm kicking him out."
"Ah, there he is!"
Sebastian followed Kurt's eyes and noticed a figure walking towards them, a duffle bag hanging loosely on his shoulder and another smaller bag to the other side. Even from a distance, the model could see a very impressive silhouette.
And when Sebastian got a good look at the new guest, his breath hitched.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me."
Ah yes, another Huntbastian goodness. I wanted to write a happier/lighter fic to balance out my other fic The Truth Is (If you feel like something angsty, check it out!)... and I always thought that Sebastian and Kurt would actually make great friends (or is that just me...?)
Oh, and find me on Tumblr at jkaso. It's still very new but I'm open for questions and prompts :)
So what do you think? Continue?