Well it's been a long time since I've actually written anything. But at last here is an actual story. As usual I don't own anything and all characters belong to Valve.

Silence is Golden

On first glance it appeared that the room was empty. However, a second perusal showed that Sniper was present; sat in the corner and reading the latest broadsheet sent over from Australia. The only audible sound was the rustle of paper as the page of The Sunday Mail was turned.

The quiet that had only existed for ten minutes was broken as Demoman came in, moaning and clutching his head. The half full bottle of Famous Grouse clasped in his other hand pointed to it being the culprit of his present distress. There was no visible acknowledgement from Sniper of Demomans's appearance, though a closer inspection would show that a faint frown line had appeared on his forehead. As Demoman proceeded to slump on the sofa whilst continuing to moan, the frown line did not disappear.

Time proceeded onwards in this fashion until Engineer and Pyro came through the doors arguing about, well something or other. All that registered in Sniper's mind was here were two more of his teammates, making noise and disturbing him from his reading. As Pyro's muffled exclamations grew more excited, the frown line on Sniper's head grew more pronounced. Eventually Engineer registered Sniper's presence. His eyes widened slightly before they flicked to Sniper's fingers, which were clasped to the paper. He visibly relaxed and started to respond to Pyro in a calmer tone. Pyro had also noticed Sniper and also started to talk more quietly as both he and Engineer sat down.

It wasn't until Soldier came barrelling into the room, shouting at the top of his voice, that Sniper made a visible movement, apparent to the two pairs of eyes keeping a lookout for it. Two seconds of Soldier's ranting over their previous day's performance on the battlefield had the hand nearest the bushwacka lying on the table next to the chair, move to the chair arm. The index finger started tapping. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. Tap, tap, tap, tap. Instantly, both Engineer and Pyro stood up. The two went over to Demoman, and each taking an arm, quickly ushered him out to leave Soldier alone with Sniper. Just before he exited through the doors, Demoman also finally noticed the tapping that was being carried out in Sniper's chair, paling slightly in response.

Soldier actually paused in his shouting as he stood and stared at where the three had been previously. As he turned to go after them he spotted Sniper. Happy to have a new target to vent at, he proceeded to do just that. His tirade lasted only five seconds before his found himself with a bushwacka at his throat that was being held by an irate Australian hitman.

'Either shut yer trap or experience an impromptu tracheotomy.'

Soldier's eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth a little to continue yelling. The bushwacka pressed a little harder into his throat and a bead of blood appeared. His mouth shut with a snap as he moved away and out of the room.

Sniper gave a growl as he flung himself back into the chair and picked up the abandoned newspaper.


The idea for this actually came from a plea from Chaos on Tumblr for headcannons for the TF2 characters. I've always had it that Sniper is one of those people who prefer animals to people (he's actually nursed a few back to health) and can only stand a certain number of people in the room with him before his fingers start itching for a kukri or bushwacka. One of the signs that he's slowly getting more agitated is his finger tapping. When that happens the observant members of the team know to scarper.

I chose to write this with minimal dialogue because A. I wasn't confident at all on their voices and B. I wanted to focus on the team's and Sniper's actions and reactions. The dialogue wasn't important, Sniper's cues were. I also chose the bushwacka instead of the kukri because it's my favourite melee weapon for Sniper.