EMAIL: o_neill_obsessed@yahoo.co.uk

SPOILERS: None

SEASON / SEQUEL: Sequel to chums 1,2, 3 and 4

CONTENT WARNINGS: None, it's not very good

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN THESE PEOPLE. I just really, really love them and am borrowing them. I don't own Stargate, this lot do- Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. And I'm making no money. At all.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Felt it was about time I wrote another Chums crossover and I know it's rubbish, but so are the other 4 so.....And I have nothing against Star Trek, I actually watch it myself and I've never seen the Search For Spock, it's just the first thing that came to mind. Feedback!!! The One Where Jack's Bored And Not A Lot Happens Voiceover man-"Last week on Chums........ Daniel was acting very strange, just before P.C Teal'c turned up to arrest Sam and Jack for harbouring burglar. Will the C.H.U.M.S go to jail? Don't find out this week......" ROLL THEME-Daniel, Jack and Sam run around poking each other with umbrellas and trying to push each other into the fountain to the song:-

"Nobody told you comedy could ever be this lame, every week a different show but somehow all the same, we'll be chums forever, no ones lonely with chums......" "I'm Bored!!!!!!!!!!" Jack cried out. He was sat on the sofa, staring at a blank screen on the television.

"Jack you have to turn the t.v on" Sam said.

"There's nothing on though" he complained.

"It's Sunday, what about The Antiques Road show, that Scully hosts it"

"Dana Scully?" Jack asked hopefully.

"Mike Scully"

"Oh" he said dejectedly.

"What about a video?" Daniel said coming into the living room.

"We've watched them all"

"Then I'll go hire one"

"Okay" Jack smiled. "What?"

"Nothing scary" Daniel said.

"And nothing soppy"

"And no rubbish explosions" Sam added

"What about Toy Story 2?" Jack asked.

"Too scary?"

"Toy Story?"

"The first one frightened the life out of me. That dinosaur jeeeeeeezzzzz" Jack rolled his eyes.

"Okay, okay, just get something, no romance, decent special effects, nothing scary" Sam said.

"And if you get out Star Trek 3-The Search For Spock again, I am going to deck you."

"Yes Jack"

"And some chocolate"

"And some sherbet"

"Yes Sam. Yes Jack"

"Good boy" Jack smiled and Daniel growled then left the apartment. Sam sat down next to Jack.

"I mean to ask him, what did he tell the cops the other week?"

"He was working for a bank you know, testing their security systems. They paid him quite well" Jack said.

"Oh" they were quiet for a moment.

"God, he's gonna be gone ages and I'm bored!"

"Jack, he'll be two seconds and anyway we're all alone in the flat" Sam said smiling.

"Oh yeah, so we are" they turned to face each other. "Me and Sam, all alone in the flat, I think, I think, YES! I'm gonna kiss her" they leaned toward each other and

"DING-DONG!"

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" Jack said looking at the door. If that's Daniel I'm gonna..."

"I'll get it shall I?" Sam said. She got up and opened the door to Teal'c in a Choices Videos uniform and Daniel in his hand, by the scruff of the neck.

"My name's Teal'c, I'm from Blockbuster Videos, I believe this belongs to you"

"What's he done now?" Sam asked.

"Hang on, if you're form Blockbusters, why are you wearing a Choices Video uniform?" Jack asked.

"I'm an undercover agent for Choices" Teal'c said.

"Might wanna work on your disguise mate" Jack said.

"Listen, what has Daniel done?"

"Your son was found in the Star Trek section again, two days after he was banned for a month" Teal'c explained.

"Daniel!" Sam said.

"Sorry I couldn't help myself" he said, his head dipped in shame.

"And get out of that bucket of Shame beer!" Jack cried.

"Sorry"

"I'm so sorry Mr Teal'c, it won't happen again" Jack said. "You don't have a brother who's a copper do you?"

"I do indeed"

"Thought so"

"Thankyou for bringing him home" Sam said, pulling a wet Daniel inside.

"No problem" he nodded and left.

"Did you actually get a video before you were escorted home?"

"Yeah"

"What?" Jack asked suspiciously.

"Star Trek 3-The Search For Spock" he said holding it up.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" Sam and Jack cried, looking up.

"FREEZEFRAME!!!!!!!!!" Voiceover man-"Will Jack and Sam have to watch Star Trek 3 again? Will Daniel ever learn to leave the Star Trek section alone? Will they ever meet Teal'cs sister? Find out on next weeks Chuummmmmmmmmmmms"

r.l.w 10/03/02

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