Chapter 1

As always I do not own Criminal Minds, just the OOC...Please R&R

JJ had somewhat closed down, she sat in silence most of the day her body was sore so she was unable to get comfortable, the nightmares woke her in hot sweats, crying, Emily held her as she would sob uncontrollably into her.

Jane and Andrew helped to soothe her, Elizabeth helped as much as she could but Jennifer won't allow it, not because she didn't like her it was about trust and right now the only person she trusted was Emily, Sarah kept close to JJ just like she had at the hospital, and Emily would often find them cuddled up together.

JJ had even pulled away from Garcia. Garcia tried to comfort her and be there for her, but JJ would brush her off using the familiar words that scream I am not really but I will tell you 'I am fine' because it's easier. However, it hurt her deeply each time Garcia would try her hardest. Emily would tell her to give her time wishing JJ knew it was only friendship not pity her friend was offering.

She didn't want to see anyone, she couldn't help feeling dirty knowing the team had seen and knew about her past she closed her eyes slightly as the soft loving voice pulled her out of her thought "Baby tell me what I can do to help you please" JJ looked at her for a moment before she turned her head slightly "I want to feel Em" she whispered as she let the tears fall.

Emily carefully wrapped her arms around her so her body was flush against her "Tell me how and I will do it baby" Emily whispered in her ear. "Just hold me and don't let go" JJ said as the sob ripped through from her chest.

JJ wanted one thing and that was for Emily to make her hers again, to wash away the touches of their hands on her body, to make the dirty feeling go away but she couldn't ask that not yet, she would let Emily hold her and kiss her but she would flinch slightly, which broke Emily's heart, but she understood.

Emily for her part had gone back to how she was before her attack strong and guarded though she would not be with Jennifer. She had reaffirmed the strong bond with Morgan. She would not tell him everything she allowed him in again which Morgan was relieved to have the Emily he knew back.

She refused point blank to go back to work, informing Hotch that until she knew JJ was comfortable and safe she would not and if he wanted to fire her because of it he could. Which Hotch had told her to take all the time she needed but he had to get someone else on a temporary basis until they both returned to work, Emily had agreed to help with the consults though she would work from home, which he gladly agreed.

Reid had been round to their house often to keep JJ company, which Emily would smile at, as JJ's eyes would light up at him. Which even Reid was extremely grateful for, Emily and JJ knew he could not cope losing another member of his family, he was innocent and sweet and JJ had always been a mother figure to him. They would spend the evenings playing word games, card games and talking about nothing in general.

JJ refused though to speak to her mom and dad stating she wasn't ready to talk to them yet and she couldn't face them, which they all could understand, though it had hurt Sandy at first, but knowing her daughter like she did it was JJ's way of healing.

Sandy had told Emily that this is how JJ was after she was attacked the first time, and that she would come around in time and not to worry too much, though Emily could not help but to worry about her.

JJ was not able to stay in a room on her own and if Emily were gone, too long, she would panic and if she had fallen asleep. If Emily were, not there with her she would scream, which Emily had learnt the first night home, she had gone to the bathroom leaving JJ safely asleep only for JJ to wake up from the mist of a nightmare screaming for her.

Emily had finally managed to get JJ to agree to see a counsellor, which had been an intense argument to which JJ had stormed out the room, only to run back into Emily's waiting arms.

Rossi had made Emily chuckle slightly as he would turn up most nights with meals for them both, he had also become very friendly with Karen, and they had begun to spend more and more time together. Which Emily didn't know whether to be happy or concern with it due to his past relationships but for now, her main thoughts were with her wife and her children.

JJ had shocked Emily when she refused to allow Hotch in and refused to talk to him, which worried them both deeply. Emily had assured him that she would come round in time, though she was the first to admit she could not understand why she refused to speak to him.

But after a week of her being home and her bruising finally lessoning to the point Emily was able to touch her without her wincing, she looked at her as she laid across her lap "I am sorry baby" Emily looked at her puzzled "Why on earth are you saying sorry?" Emily asked totally taken back by the comment.

"For going on my own" Emily frowned slightly "Oh, sweetheart that was not your fault, you thought he was a friend someone you could trust" Emily said softly as she ran her finger through her hair. "I didn't listen to you though, I didn't listen to Hotch," JJ said firmly.

"I want you to listen to me Jennifer" Emily said as she looked lovingly in to unsure blue eyes "None of this was your fault, this was out of your control, it was out of our control, so please don't blame yourself for this my sweet girl, I love you so much but you cannot beat yourself up over it"

JJ gave her a half smile "I can't help but blame myself Emily" JJ admitted, "Jennifer, the wheels had been set in motion over 20 years ago. Trevor had so much pent up anger and everyone and I mean everyone. He blamed everyone, he used our job and your kind heartedness to take out his anger and pain, but you cannot blame yourself"

"Tommy took advantage of an extremely messed up kid and made his own hate Trevor's. He used him the same why he blamed you for his father being killed. This was not your fault either" JJ nodded slightly "I know this Em just" Emily smiled as she wrapped her arms more tightly around her body "Your mind is telling you it is your fault" JJ chuckled "I hate profilers" JJ said softly "it's not profiling it is knowing you and loving you Jennifer so much." Emily said softly

"Emily can we go to bed and" JJ blushed slightly as Emily chuckled "Jennifer Prentiss you do not need to ask, you are my wife. And if that is what you want and need I will give" JJ bit her lip slightly "or you can do whatever you want," Emily said as she leaned down capturing her lips into a soft loving kiss.