Chapter 8

This was the place everything changed some for the better others for the worse. she just wasnt wure which it was anymore. Remembering painful times can eat at your soul...

Though sometimes it can heal the long forgotten wounds

"Morgan, is Emily with you?" Morgan stared at the clock before answering "JJ it's 11pm, I haven't seen her since 6, why?" Morgan asked, "She hasn't come home"

"You two been fighting again?" Morgan asked in a hushed voice so he didn't disturbed Garcia "NO!" she said harshly down the phone "We are fine, aside from the fact I haven't seen her since she left this morning" Morgan closed his eyes as he could hear JJ sighing down the phone "She might have gone for a drink" Morgan said softly.

"Morgan she hasn't been out for a drink on her own in let's just say nearly 12 months" JJ commented, Morgan sighed softly "I have an idea where she will be and JJ try not to worry, I will ring you as soon as I have found her" he promised. "How do you know where to look? We all know she can disappear off the grid," JJ said sadly. "She really isn't that hard to profile," Morgan said softly as he rocked Garcia so she stirred slightly as he cut the phone off.

"You better have a good reason for waking me," Garcia grumbled, as she looked at him "I've got to go out, not sure how long I will be." Garcia looked at him "Is everything okay?" he smiled softly at her "Yes it will be once I get Emily back home," he said softly as he placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

Emily sat looking into her now empty whiskey glass as she signalled to the bar tender to refill her glass. "This is where it all started" Emily said softly "This is where so much changed not just for me but for us all"

Morgan stood behind her silent; she knew he was there without even looking as she continued to speak. "It had been a rough case for us all and I needed, just some space away for you all, I couldn't allow you to see me break" Morgan sat next to her asking for two more drinks as the bar tender whispered "She's been here for 5 hours" Morgan just nodded.

"I let my guard down for once in my life, I didn't care about anything, I had panicked the second she flirted back with me" Emily smiled sadly at the memory, then I was gone, then you found me, but in that time everything that I knew was destroyed it was gone, I was no longer sure of myself. I was broken"

Emily downed the whiskey in front of her signalling for another "Then she made all the pain go away, I didn't need to hide myself from her anymore, but it didn't last long. I was pregnant, I hated myself, I hated that she cared I didn't want to be here, but I was too much of a coward to end it all"

She sighed softly as she ran her finger around the rim of the glass, "She took everything in her stride, and she is so strong, you were right I should have told her sooner I should have let her see how much she meant to me. How much I loved her, but you was right when you called me a chicken"

Morgan placed his hand on her shoulder, "Then we got married, everything was going so well, I had the woman I loved in my arms and my life, then the twins came. I think that scared me more than anything in my life, they were so small it was too early for them to be in this world. I should have listened to Jen, when she told me to slow down" she wiped the tears from her face.

"But I couldn't slow down I was drowning and no one noticed, I had given up. Again!" Morgan's phone vibrated in his pocket. However, Emily did not notice as he replied to the text.

"I was brought back to the same feelings I had as a little girl, I was a disappointment, I know I shouldn't feel like I do but he is my father. However, to him I am his mistake and I know I am, I started to believe what he had said. I didn't deserve her, she could do better than this broke shell of a person"

"Then me and Reid went undercover to that stupid ranch, if I am honest I just wanted to be dead at that point, I never saw the point in carrying on. My father wanted nothing to do with me, I knew that already but it still hurt and for Jennifer to look at me with so much love it killed me. Then you came, got me. And knocked my head back on my shoulders. Which believe me I am so grateful for"

"This last case" Emily sighed as Morgan wrapped his arm around her, "I am not even sure I have her back yet. I try so hard to keep it together. Nevertheless, I needed your help because I could not take it anymore and after the third time. When that book hit me and that look of shame and fear in her eyes."

Morgan moved slightly "You didn't even need to ask did you when you saw me. You knew what had happened" Emily said as she downed another glass. "Even now though I can't help but flinch when she loses her temper, even if it just slightly. I know she knows I know she can see the fear in my eyes"

Emily's shoulders shuddered as she tried to keep herself together. "I thought I had lost her. No matter how bad it can get or has. I can't think of losing her, it would kill me, but if she needed me to let her go I would because I love her too much to stand in her way" Morgan rubbed her back gently though he remained silent.

"She is coming back to me slowly, I just miss her so badly Morgan, I never thought I could miss someone as much as I do right now. I can be strong for her. I can and I will be her rock. However, that vacant expression in her eyes. It is though someone has turned the lights off and I can't get her back" Emily finally broke down; she jumped slightly when a slender hand wrapped around her waist as Morgan moved slightly away.

She moved the glass away from Emily standing behind her pulling her close. Emily had tensed the second the arm came around her. Morgan leant over as he kissed her cheek and nodding at the woman behind her. Before he paid the tab and left the two of them alone.

"Let's get you home baby" JJ said softly from behind her just as Emily relaxed into her, she nodded she was emotionally exhausted. JJ ran her fingers softly through her hair as she cupped her cheek "I will always come home to you Emily. And I am so sorry for everything that I have put you through" JJ said as she guided her back to her car.

"I should have come to you instead of taking everything out on you, I should never have punished you for loving me," JJ said as she looked into her deep chocolate eyes that were full of love, compassion and understanding.