Valentine's Day fic, and my first attempt at writing FullMetalPanic.
"SOUSUKE! What did you do, and why have I come across five poor girls sulking in corners and/or bawling ther eyes out?!"
As if confused by Kaname's rage, Sousuke snapped to attention and barked out his report. "The first woman had been exhibiting suspicious behavior over the past seventy-five hours, including a - rather amatuer - attempt at continuous covert surveillance. When she delivered a packet of chocolates to me several minutes ago, I suspected that she was being used as an assassin - the seemingly-infatuated student is one of the most basic counters that terrorists use against agents undercover in educational facilites. With myself out of the way, your security would be compromised, thus giving those who desire Black Technology easier access to you. Since the chocolates were probably laced with poison of some sort, I disposed of the weapon and detonated it with plastic explosives."
Kaname's eye twitched. "The... first?"
Sousuke added, "Over the hour or so since then, four others have made similar attempts. Clearly, the organization we're dealing with is either incredibly persistent, or incompetently stubborn."
Kaname inhaled as if to scream, before then letting out a sigh. Sousuke was being his typical idiot self, seeing military conspiracies where none were to be found, but she could see the logic he was working with. Apparently, it was time to explain another facet of civilian life.
"Sousuke, there's this thing called Valentine's Day, when girls give chocolates to the guys that they like. ... You know, romantically. It's a tradition of the Japanese people, not a terrorist conspiracy."
Resting his chin in his hand, Sousuke took in that information. "I see. Using a national tradition as a cover... how insidious."
Exhausted from her duties on the Student Council, Kaname just shoved a box of chocolates into his hand and walked off to her next class. "Happy Valentine's Day, Sousuke. Talk to you later."
Nonplussed, Sousuke stared at the box for a few seconds, before stashing it with his MRE pack.
The idea that Kaname might have been part of the conspiracy never once entered his mind.