Disclaimer: I am in no way the owner/creator of R & I. So running to your nearest lawyer will yield you Jack Shit. Unless, of course that's your lawyers unfortunate/amusing name. *shrugs with a smile*

A/N: I'm going to take children's song and twist it horribly now..."Here a smut, there a smut, everywhere a smut-smut-smut." This is by request and I tried to make it classy. Pun could be taken had I said tasteful. This is a multi-part deal and instead of a 'slow burn' I decided to come out swinging a.k.a telling the story backwards. Maura's POV reigns supreme until otherwise stated.

~~~~~~~Living Like Hell~~~~~~~

Present time...

With an intense kiss I'm being pushed up against the wall and I feel like I'm on fire; burning alive from the inside out. Yet, this is a fire that I want to consume me and she is. Luscious raven black locks of hair are all that I can see and her hands on my body are all I can feel. Her intense, demanding caress is sliding up along my calf and when it moves inward towards the soft flesh of my inner thigh I bite down on my bottom lip. The feeling of my temperature rising to an inferno is quite the compliment to the overheated mess between my legs. It's my belief now that only Jane can ignite a flame within me to this degree.

Jane's hands are on my inner thighs parting my legs. God, how long have I desired this, to be loved by this woman? My breasts are pulsating with the rhythm of my rapidly beating heart and she only grazed them on her way down. I would pray to any deity to help me for when she does touch them fully; those strong hands and that mouth of her's. But I'm already praying; praying to Jane who is currently worshipping my body. The slit up the side of my dress has proven useful tonight, granting her easier access. Those hands of her's pull down my lacey but poor excuse for an undergarment and I suddenly feel like there will never be enough air for me to survive past this moment.

I look down at Jane as she lifts one of my legs over her shoulder. My eyes close and my back arches automatically, making my head hit the wall with a slight thud. I can feel her hot mouth on my inner thigh now. No one has really touched me quite this way, or maybe it's just Jane's intensity awakening this passion within me. She's always in my thoughts and dreams to the point that this stolen moment feels very much like a waking dream. It's as if my mind and body are trying to quench their longing. I need to stop thinking so much! Oh! For the love of God is she stopping now?

"Maura, I've never done this before." Jane's raspy voice invades my thoughts; her voice laced with trepidation.

Before I can respond though her mouth is on my flooded core. The heat of her tongue is scorching while her equally warm hands caress my thighs. All my nerve endings are alight, and then I feel her tongue push inside me. I feel like my body is on the verge of imploding. The feeling is undying; thousands of passionate sensations are colliding within me. It's as if she already knows the secrets of how I need to be touched. I close my eyes tighter and my hands entangle themselves in the midnight mass of curls that is Jane's hair. I've never wanted another person so much before.

"Don't stop Jane." My voice is a mere breathy whisper.

My legs are starting to shake and I don't know how much longer I can stand. My orgasm is rapidly approaching. Jane's wicked tongue has moved to my most sensitive area and the air has abandoned my lungs. Another shock of pleasure rips through me, as I feel Jane's long finger's slip inside me, filling the void her tongue left. Her rhythmic caress inside is an exquisite feeling. My body responds by drawing her fingers in deeper and the closer I get to my orgasm, the more I want her. Sure and firm thrusts echo inside me while her finger's stretch and stroke my depths. Jane's mouth is incredible and the sounds she's making is almost too much.

Jane's captivating moans are fueling an already raging tempest and with a violent burst I do implode. My body is convulsing in waves, the climax Jane has induced is enough to make me feel every part of my body. I'm screaming from an almost unbearable pleasure with my hands clutching tightly in Jane's hair. Her mouth is still on me, lapping up my arousal. My body is still vibrating with aftershocks, as Jane gently removes her fingers from inside me. I feel her hands move up my sides, as she rises from her knees. Then she presses her body fully against me; her breasts being pushed against mine by her hurried breaths. I am truly destroyed, burnt to simmering embers of ash.

Last night feels like a dream to me, a truly surreal experience. Upon opening my eyes, everything is better than a dream and she's very real and lying next to me. Her sleep mussed dark hair is curled over one ear and askew over the pillow. Her breath is fanning out across my neck and I instantly feel flushed a bit. I'm waiting for Jane to wake, so I can see those dark brown eyes that sparkle with mischief. I don't anticipate an awkward morning after, there wasn't any alcohol involved. We both just a one glass of wine at dinner but our date wasn't like any other that I had previously experienced in my social life. My life will be different from now on; it already has been since she came into my life.

Jane is starting to wake up and I find myself just listening to her slowly changing breathing pattern. I suddenly want to hide in the bathroom but I won't. Instead, I close my eyes and calm myself. Even with my eyes closed though, I can suddenly tell she's studying me. I feel her move away from me without hardly any disturbance and then slide out of the bed. She had better not be trying to run out on me. I listen for her movements. This is killing me, she's being so quiet. Over my slightly breaking heart, I finally hear her move towards my bathroom and just like that it somewhat mends itself. But time crawls on and Jane's side of the bed is getting cold now.

I'm still waiting for Jane. She hasn't come back to bed and it's been seventeen minutes and I don't hear the shower. I can't pretend to be asleep any longer. I get out of the bed and move towards the bathroom door; it's ajar. I see no reason to knock, so I push the door open slowly. I see a very nude Jane standing at my sink looking in the mirror. She glances at me in her reflection before turning to face me.

"Jane, is there something wrong?" I ask, trying to keep any hurt out of my voice.

"No...no Maur, its nothing."

I'm at a loss here for words but I step completely into the bathroom and close the door behind me. I can't help but lean against the door; it suddenly has become my anchor.

"Jane, please don't tell me you're having remorse over last night." I reply while trying hard not to cry, even though my heart is breaking all over again. "Because I just can't take it now, if ever."

"Oh God Maura...no, last night was wonderful and I don't regret it. And I'm so sorry for letting you think that for one second."

The sincerity in Jane's voice makes me smile though my eyes have produced an excess of lachrymal fluid. I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around her trim waist. My head finds its home next to her thudding heart. Automatically, Jane's arms encase me in their warmth. I feel her lips against my forehead; a simple gesture meant to sweep my insecurities away. How does she always know exactly what I need already? I have imagined these feelings in these last few months and all the other emotions that being in a romantic relationship with Jane would entail. Yet, I wasn't fully forearmed and that scares me. Clearly, Jane had the same notion when she woke up. I have never formed a friendship that morphed into an unquenchable attraction.

Then again I've never really met anyone quite like Jane. These last few months have been wonderful and now that I have Jane, perhaps together we can chase away one another's doubts. Just being held by her is intoxicating and I fear I may be becoming insatiable. Especially considering Jane's stamina; it was twofold over any man or woman that I've ever been with. It's far too early for declarations of love but I believe it's safe to say that I've been falling for Jane since I first saw her. My fears no matter how old are all fresh to me, and this time it's for a new and terrifying reason in its own right. No matter what happens though from this moment on I know with all of my being she is someone I will never let go of without a fight.

Soundtrack: "Burn"- [alleged remix] by Alkaline Trio, "I Feel You" By Depeche Mode & "You Look So Fine" By Garbage

Updated A/N 2: Welcome to the refurbished version of this story. My 'style' has grown a little over the years but I've kept this a fun read. I took out all of the italics that were used for inner thoughts and just gave the whole thing little nips and tucks. Just so you know I left pretty much all of my 'disclaimers' and other 'silliness' intact since I was told they were as enjoyable as the story itself.