A/N: The Unconventional series was planned prior to episode 83 airing; however, it has strangely managed to stay uncanonballed thus far. The first eight parts of this series are not necessary to understand this story, but reading them certainly wouldn't hurt. A complete list of published and unpublished stories in the series can be viewed on my profile page.
A/N 2: Fluffy-goodness seems necessary after this morning's heartbreak, don't you agree?
A/N 3: All Unconventional stories are one-shots unless otherwise noted. That said, "An Unconventional Sibling" will be a two-chaptered story.
Summary: Lydia knew she would have to deal with the Darcy Siblings when she went to San Francisco to visit her sister, but she didn't expect to enjoy it. "And… if say Lizzie's favorite baby sister wanted something, do you love her enough that you would buy it for her?"
An Unconventional Sibling
"Lizzie, oh my god, why won't you pick up your phone? I am standing in the Pemberley lobby and, I swear to god, I will make the biggest scene if you don't get your butt down here now and have lunch with me. What good is surprising you for lunch when you don't know I'm here?" Lydia ended her third message to Lizzie in as many minutes with a "hmph."
Lizzie had invited her to come visit for Memorial day weekend when she'd first moved to San Francisco. And when Lydia'd gotten the email from her professor that her afternoon class was cancelled that Friday, she'd immediately traded in the ticket Lizzie (but really Darcy) had bought her for an earlier flight. She was supposed to show up at Pemberley Digital and surprise her sister and they'd go out to lunch and now her surprise was ruined because her lame older sister was the worst.
"Lydia?" She turned at the sound of her name and found Darcy standing there, staring at her like the freak she knew he thought she was. "I thought Lizzie wasn't expecting you until this evening."
Lydia huffed a sigh. "She wasn't and then my class got cancelled."
Lydia just barely managed to resist the urge to roll her eyes at Darcy. "Anyway, she's not answering my calls, so I guess lunch with her is out."
"Yes, she's in a meeting for the rest of the afternoon, I believe."
"But I was just on my way out for lunch, if you'd care to join me."
A lunch with William Darcy was not all that appealing. They hadn't actually spoken since he'd visited her in the hospital. But it was better than hanging out in the lobby waiting for Lizzie.
Lydia walked back out of the Pemberley Digital offices, Darcy guiding her and holding the door for her. And ok, that was a little weird, but it was Darcy, Lizzie's totally lame, old fashioned boyfriend. But when he opened the car door for her and offered her his hand to help her into the car, that was way too weird. People just didn't do that.
Lydia folded her arms across her chest, like they could shield her from the world, while she waited for Darcy to get in on the driver's side. "Lizzie's not here," she said as he put his key in the ignition, "You don't have to treat me like that."
"Like what?" he asked as he pulled out of the parking space.
Lydia didn't answer right away, but Darcy kept glancing at her with a raised eyebrow. He might be quieter about insisting on answers than Lizzie was, but he was definitely just as stubborn. "A lady," she whispered then corrected herself and said defiantly, "I know what you think of me."
"I really don't think you do."
Nothing more was said on the drive.
Darcy parked the car but made no move to turn it off. Lydia just sat uncomfortably not knowing what to do.
"Lydia," he said with that tone she'd heard him use with Lizzie when he wasn't sure if he was going to express himself well, "There's no excuse for anyone to not treat you like a lady; you are one."
"You don't… how can you think that after everything you know I've done?"
Darcy turned off the engine and got out, but Lydia was rooted to the seat until her door opened and Darcy held out his hand. She took it this time without as much reservation.
Then she looked at the bistro he had taken them too.
"Um, Darce? I'm not really dressed for a place like this." She picked at her ripped jeans and comfy shift that she'd put on for the trip.
Darcy responded by putting a finger under her chin and tipping her head up. "Never look down, and no one who looks at you will either."
Lydia couldn't stop the grin that blossomed across her face in a way it hadn't in months. Darcy offered her his arm and she took it, giggling.
Darcy had pulled the chair out for her and everything. Which was totally lame, but it was on because it was Darcy.
"Do you treat Lizzie like this when you go out?"
"When she allows it. Your sister can be… obsinate."
"And God knows you're super flexible about things," she said as she open the fancy black menu. But she didn't miss that trying-not-to-smile grin on Darcy's face. "So… the whole lady thing… does that mean I have to order a salad?"
"Only if you enjoy salad. Personally, I recommend their cheeseburgers."
"You do not eat cheeseburgers."
"No. You're Darcy."
"Yes. I am aware. But I still eat cheeseburgers."
"With a fork and knife?"
"Only when in the company of a lady."
"That… is… The Biggest. Ice cream sundae I have ever seen. I think it's bigger than my head."
"I told you it might be wiser to order a half-size. If you can't finish it, it's no matter."
"Are you kidding me?! Of course I'm going to finish it!"
"Ok, so…" Lydia scooted closer to Darcy on the bench outside the bistro and did her best to fit them both in the frame; she was a little out of practice. "So… Will – can I call you 'Will'?"
"No one has ever really called – "
"Perf! So, Will, let's just get a record of what we've already agree on, k? You know, for the viewers."
"Ah. Of course."
"You have agreed to answer all of my questions about you and Lizzie truthfully and fully, right?"
"To the extent that I am able."
"Ok, that's is totally not what you said before!"
"Well, since you are making this a recorded, verbal contract, I would prefer to clarify that I have no context for knowing what questions you might ask; therefore, I cannot guarantee 'truth,' when you may very well ask me a question that requires an interpretation, as Lizzie might disagree with my response, and of course, all of my answers will be somewhat subjective, so if we view 'truth' as objective – "
"Oh my God, Will. No wonder my sister likes you; you talk as much as she does. Fine. I'll accept your 'to the extent that I am able.' Now onto the questions. We'll start with an easy one: you confessed your love for my sister twice before asking her out on a date – "
"Well, technically it was just the once. I asked her – "
"The theatre box seats thing totally does not count; she thought you were asking her to go with you and your sister. Anyway, back to my question: how long did you wait after the second confession before asking her out for realsies?"
"I asked her to join me for dinner almost immediately after that… conversation."
"By 'that conversation' do you mean 'make-out session'?"
"I wouldn't call it… a make-out session."
"It was totally a make-out session. There was tongue."
"There was no tongue."
"We all saw the tongue, Will. Next question! What about Lizzie's completely abrasive responses to everything you said last summer make you think that she loved you back?"
"So prior to my sister, how many women have you been with?"
Will made a few noises that sounded somewhat like choking before finally managing to say, "I… uh… don't see what that has to do with my relationship with your sister."
Lydia rolled her eyes. "Duh, Will, I have to look out for my sister, make sure all of her needs are being met…"
He stared uncomfortably at the camera on her phone. "Well, in the sense that I would define as 'being with' – "
"Oh no. I mean in the sense that I would define 'being with.' I was being nice, but I will get vulgar if I have to." Will made a face that looked like he was being tortured. "Sometime in the next week would be preferable."
"If I don't respond for a long enough period of time, will this end?"
"Ugh, you're the worst! Fine, we will skip this question and this question only."
"But I'm totally assuming you were a virgin. Next question! How much do you love my sister?"
"I don't find 'love' a particularly quantifiable – "
"Stop being such a dork! Let's try it this way – if my wanted something, do you love her enough that you would buy it for her?"
Lydia grinned. "And… if say her favorite baby sister wanted something, do you love her enough that you would buy it for her?"
"... What do you want?"
"Let's start with… a new outfit for dinner tonight?"
"Ah. That sounds reasonable."
"Check out my haul!" Lydia exclaimed, bouding into Lizzie's office space. A bunch of Lizzie's coworkers were looking at her like she was crazy, but it didn't matter.
"Lydi, wha – I've been trying to return your calls for an hour."
"I know, I know, but I was busy. I had to keep text Jane and Gigi for clothing advice; Will is, like, the worst person to go shopping with."
"Wi…?" Lizzie's eyes widened in realization, and she turned to look at Will, who had followed Lydia in. "You went shopping with my sister?"
"I… that's not how I would phrase it. It was more… chaperoning my credit card."
"Oh my God. Lydia, you have take those back."
"No way! Will promised he wouldn't let me. No matter how 'obstinate' you got."
Lizzie glared at him. "I never used that word."
"Psh! I have video evidence. It totes already on YouTube."