A/N: This is the shower scene from chapter 15. It was never written because frankly it's just better from Quinn's POV...
And as you can imagine, this is rated hard M for content.
Thursday, September 22nd 2016
Oh my God, this was so stupid.
Why did I think this was a good idea?
Quinn clenched her eyes shut, letting the hot water drip down her bare skin, and hit the black tiles at her feet. She kept her back to the clear glass of the shower, not daring to turn around to see that empty doorway. Her chest was heaving with each labored breath she took, her mind racing as she waited for the other girl to enter. The longer the seconds stretched, the more the panic started to settle into her already nerve ridden stomach.
What the hell was I thinking?
She's not coming.
She brought both her hands up to her face, pressing her wet palms to her eyes. They were warm, and calmed her manic thoughts; all of them saying that this was wrong, and that she should just grab her towel and hop out. The ones telling her to just close the door, and pretend she didn't just say yes to all of this. But her legs wouldn't move. They stayed routed to the spot, as the water continued to fall, and the silence from the bedroom behind her continued to ring in her ears.
Quinn took in a few calming breaths, and bit gently on the inside of her cheek. This was going way past the night before. She knew that. But it had felt so good being close to her again, to feel Santana beneath her in that way. And just walking into their apartment and seeing her sitting there on the edge of the mattress; it was like those three weeks all over again. And then those words were falling from her lips, and it was like she had no control over them. It was just a sea of haze and Santana, and nothing else. But now that she was away from her, that paralyzing self-doubt was creeping back in, and she could barely breathe.
This is a mistake.
I'm such an idiot.
She shook her head softly, her eyes on her feet and her hands resting on the tiled wall, the water soaking through her short blonde hair. Quinn still remembered the first time she'd ever heard those few short words come from Santana's lips. It was the morning they were set to leave Bordeaux, both of them packing before they caught the bus back to Paris. Quinn had just reached for the door of their bathroom when she heard that voice and those words, making her turn on the spot to look at her. Santana had that half smirk on her lips, and her eyes were just staring at her like they always did; drowning everything else out like they had always done every time they were on hers. Quinn could only manage a shaky nod, before that smirk grew wider and the girl was removing her shirt and striding towards her, the brunette's hands seeking out the waist of Quinn's bed shorts.
This is so, so stupid.
Just turn off the taps, Fabray.
Just turn them off and walk away like you've done so many times before.
It's not too lat-
The door behind her squeaked mutely, and the light pad of footsteps met her ears. Quinn's eyes fell shut at the sound, as her heart leapt into her throat. She could feel the other girl standing behind her. Without a touch or the whisper of a breath, she could feel her. And it was almost too much for her to take. She wanted so badly to just turn around and slip back through the glass door. But to do so would be to see those eyes, and she didn't think she would still have the resolve to leave once she saw them.
So she stayed with her palms flat against the wall, willing her heart to slow. She ran her fingers through wet hair, swallowing heavily against all her doubts, and her fears, and her hesitations. She told her mind to just shut them out, to push away all the things that would usually have her running. This wasn't just anyone. This was Santana. The love her life. Her whole world. The girl who loved her against all logic, and against all rational thought.
Quinn took in one last calming breath as a wave of heat crept up her back, and the lightest of touches ghosted down her sides, two hands settling on her hips. Santana's thumbs made soothing circles, the girl's fingertips gripping Quinn gently from behind. The feeling had Quinn running her own down the smooth shower wall beneath her palms, mapping out the ridges between each tile. She sucked in a sharp breath as Santana stepped into her, her body flush against Quinn's back. Every dip and curve melded together. And when she felt the girl's forehead rest against her back, and those lips press between her shoulder blades every scared thought and fear fell away.
The feeling of those lips against her skin still felt like it always had, and it sent a dull throbbing between her legs, and what breath she had leaving her lungs. Quinn's short nails scratched further down the tiles, as tanned hands slid slowly around her waist. Quinn dropped her head, watching them closely as Santana's right reached up, palming one of her breasts, and the left snaked down her abdomen and down toward her center. She let a low moan escape, those fingers sliding through her, and Santana's lips connecting to her neck and jaw.
Quinn's head fell to Santana's shoulder behind her, the girl grinding into her back, the low burning intensifying with each slow movement of those hips. She placed open mouth kisses along her neck, her other hand massaging Quinn's chest. With a panting breath, Quinn laced her fingers through dark brown hair, holding Santana's lips there as she reached further up toward her hairline, biting gently on the soft skin of her earlobe. It was maddening, Quinn's whole body aching, and her skin burning hot under her touch and the constant fall of water. Her free hand was still resting against the wall, Quinn groaning lowly as Santana continued to circle wet heat. She dropped her hand to join Santana's, feeling the muscles beneath her fingertips as they worked her slowly.
"Is this okay?"
It was barely above a whisper, Santana's soft words brushing past her ear. But in those four short syllables, Quinn could hear that overwhelming vulnerability and honesty that always came whenever the girl spoke. Her chest ached at those words, hearing the underlining pain and uncertainty as well. And just like every time before, it had that ache in her chest feeling heavier, leaving her breathless. She couldn't stand hearing, nor seeing that sadness in the other girl, just like she couldn't three years ago in that hotel room in Barcelona.
So she didn't. She turned in her arms and stole it from her, capturing her startled lips and pulling her close. She could feel Santana kiss her back, those hands landing on her ass and gripping her roughly as that tongue pushed past her lips. It made her light-headed, her own arms wrapping tightly around Santana's shoulders. Her muffled groan shot waves of pleasure all over Quinn's skin, the blonde tearing away only to claim her neck. She could taste her on her tongue, sucking gently on Santana's pulse point that beat wildly beneath her lips, the other girl's fingers threading through wet hair, urging her on.
"Fuck," Santana moaned breathlessly, her head falling back.
Quinn smiled shyly into her neck, forgetting how amazing it had felt to be the cause of that sound. To feel the girl beneath her fingertips, knowing that with every brush and gentle stroke, it caused Santana to tense and ache with just her touch. So many times before she'd had to stop and look at her, still not believing that Santana was with her, pausing whenever she heard that sound. And tonight was no different, Quinn pulling back to look into those dark hooded eyes. They just stared back at her, that complete honesty shining through them in the dim glow of the down lights.
I love you.
It was a stray thought, but it left her breathless, her skin prickling uncomfortably. Quinn faltered under that intense gaze, her chest beginning to rise and fall heavily with each scared second that passed. But her panic didn't have time to settle as Santana pulled her towards the small shower ledge, reclaiming her lips. She barely had a moment to think or protest either, Santana lifting her on to the tiled step, kissing her passionately and lovingly until all thought escaped her; everything except the girl standing before her, and the feeling of those lips on hers.
Santana glided her fingers along Quinn's inner thighs, coaxing them wider with every stroke. The girl shifted them further apart, not quite meeting Santana's eye as she did. She gripped the lip either side of her with both hands, her knuckles turning a lighter shade of white as she watched Santana drop to her knees before her. Those eyes stared back up at her, refusing to break, Santana placing slow kisses to Quinn's sensitive skin of her left leg, before blowing a cool breath over her and reattaching her lips to her right.
Oh my God.
Quinn's head hit the glass shower wall, her eyes finding the ceiling as the throbbing between her legs became unbearable. But it wasn't long before she felt those lips press to her, and that tongue run up her center, her thoughts turning to white noise. Santana wrapped an arm around Quinn's left thigh, hitching it up over her shoulder. Her fingers dug into the skin of her leg, her free hand finding Quinn's stomach, running further up before her short nails dragged back down her abdomen, angry red marks rising against tan.
The low twisting intensified; Quinn lifting her hips to met Santana's every stroke. She could feel her orgasm building, those lips sucking gently, and that tongue flicking across her rhythmically. She bit hard on her bottom lip; it was all should could do not cry out. But as Quinn's breath quickened and broke, a loud groan ripped from her throat.
"Santana," Quinn gasped, her thighs tightening around the other girl still between her legs. Quinn arched off the glass wall, her fingers gripping the smooth tiles tighter beneath her palms. Her climax shook her, her whole body trembling before she collapsed, Santana still holding her firmly against the shower's ledge.
The brunette gradually stopped her teasing, kissing her way back up her stomach and up towards her chest. Quinn grabbed her when she reached the dip of her collarbone and captured her lips, humming contently into her open mouth. Santana smiled into the kiss, her hands resting on Quinn's still trembling thighs. She danced her fingers over her skin, that tongue pushing against her own, Quinn grazing her teeth playfully along it as she did.
Santana pulled back after a moment, looking at her with those hooded eyes. "God, you're beautiful," she murmured thickly, scanning Quinn's every feature, her lips still inches from her.
Quinn's breath caught. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but once again Quinn had been rendered speechless by the other girl. And Santana knew it, brushing her fingertips against her jaw, and leaning her forehead into hers. Quinn swallowed hard against those words, a different kind of flush spreading up her neck and coloring her cheeks. Santana merely smirked at her, pressing her lips softly to Quinn's, nipping at them as a giggle slipped out.
You are so not allowed to say that to me right now.
Quinn pushed back harder against Santana's lips, successfully muting her quiet laughter, and ran her fingers down perfectly toned abs. Her other settled on the girl's hip, gripping her and pulling her closer. Santana sucked in a breath around the kiss, stumbling forward as her hands landed behind Quinn's head on the clear glass wall. Looking up into those eyes, Quinn lazily slipped through Santana, watching as they glazed over with that all too familiar want.
Santana broke away at the intimate touch, leaning her head against Quinn's temple, her tight breaths hitting her ear. Quinn could hear every muted groan and whispered word, the sound making her head swim as she pushed two fingers inside her. The girl arched up into her, her forehead leaning heavier into the side of Quinn's, as Santana hummed coarsely in response.
She began to rock against her hand, Quinn hearing hushed curses mixed with her name coming from those perfect lips, only making her increase her pace and grip her tighter. She could feel Santana hot on her fingers, Quinn turning her head into the crook of her neck, placing open mouth kiss to the spot just below her jaw. She bit down on wet skin, Santana hissing before Quinn soothed her with her tongue. A part of her wanted to mark every inch of the girl, taste every ridge and dip of her tanned skin. But she kept her lips to her neck, as she brushed a thumb across Santana every time she entered her.
She could feel her getting close, Santana pulling further into her and spreading her legs further apart with every thrust of her hand. Quinn's forearm burned, only working her harder as she curled her fingers. She bit down again just above the swell of Santana's chest, the girl's head falling back away from her and her hands finally leaving the safety of the glass. They gripped Quinn's head, feeling Santana's short nails dig into her scalp and run to the back of her hairline. It sent chills down Quinn's back, the taller girl giving one last flick of her thumb, before Santana came undone around her.
Quinn watched her in awe, before she slowly removed her fingers and placed her hand back on Santana's hip. Once the aftershocks of her orgasm settled, Santana slumped against her, Quinn lightly kissing her lips. Santana's mouth twitched lazily, that breathy chuckle escaping with every peck. When she was sure the girl could stand on her own, Quinn dropped down from the ledge, pushing a smirking Santana back into the spray of water. It soaked through her thick hair, and dripped steadily from her chin to the tiles below.
Quinn leaned in and grazed her nose with her own, teasing those flushed lips. She fumbled blindly for the taps with both hands, as Santana's tongue brushed along her top lip. Quinn smiled, gripping the metal and twisting them off, before leaning back out of Santana's reach, earning a playful groan from the other girl. Quinn just smirked wider at her, turning on her heel and making her way out of the shower and toward the towel rack near the door. She threw one wordlessly over her shoulder at Santana, before grabbing her own and beginning to dry off.
Quinn kept her gaze from her the whole time, wrapping her towel loosely around her chest when she finished. But as Quinn looked back at Santana, she faltered, her mouth going dry. The darker girl was just staring at her, those eyes racking down her bare skin. It had the smile dropping from Quinn's face, Santana silently pacing the few steps to her and reaching for the soft towel, before pulling it free. Quinn stood frozen once again, Santana's eyes still roaming over every inch of her, not saying a word. She was still dripping water over the black tiles at their feet, the brunette licking absently at her lips as a stray drop fell from a lock of hair that stuck sexily to her forehead.
Even after what they'd just done, Quinn's chest hammered frantically under that gaze, not able to say another word. Santana swallowed audibly, before stepping into her, her wet skin slick against hers. Quinn shivered, Santana running two hands down her sides, and gripping the back of her thighs. Quinn wrapped her arms slowly around Santana's neck, watching those eyes cloud over once more. She pushed forward after a moment, reattaching their lips, hers melting against Santana's full ones. She let Santana lift her up into her arms, Quinn locking her ankles around her waist as she walked her out of the bathroom.
"Couch or bed?" Santana asked breathlessly, breaking their kiss.
Quinn barely had the energy or brain function to respond, mumbling unintelligibly against her mouth, too turned on to manage much else. Santana just chuckled, turning on the spot and pushing her roughly up against the nearest wall. It was cool against her heated skin, Santana shifting her weight to support her comfortably.
"Wall it is," she husked against her lips, Quinn just groaning at the sound of those words coming from the other girl.
She could feel one of Santana's hands leave her side, her own arms still holding onto her tightly. Quinn kissed her again fiercely, their tongues melded together when she felt those fingers tease at her entrance, her lips breaking away and her head hitting the wall behind her. Her legs spread wider at the touch, Santana moving her left arm between them, and down to press her palm against Quinn. She dragged fingers up, before sliding lower and inside without further warning.
Quinn bucked against her hand, Santana pushing back just as hard. She began moving in and out, thrusting her hips into her as her other hand held her upright on the wall opposite one of the single beds. With every rhythmic movement and pull Santana made, Quinn's nails scratched further and deeper down her back. She panted into her ear, her legs still hitched up around Santana's ever moving hips. She couldn't think, or speak, or do anything but feel those heavenly fingers inside her, and those lips that pressed firmly to throat.
It was said through a breathless groan, Santana humming against her neck and stumbling backwards from the wall. Both girls toppled onto the soft sheets, Santana's fingers still inside her as she straddled her thighs in their fall. Quinn sat up, pulling Santana with her and shifting further up her legs. The brunette gripped Quinn's hip with her right hand as the girl rode her fingers, rocking in time with her jutting movements.
"Come here," Quinn whispered, pulling her into a kiss. "Slow."
As her lips moved in sync with Quinn's, Santana did as she was told. Her jutting movements slowed to a crawl, the girl spreading her fingers wider before continuing to push and pull against her. Quinn could feel the low tightening beginning to build just below her stomach, but instead of riding it out with Santana still inside, she pushed her back down on the comforter, effectively tearing their lips away.
"Quinn?" Santana questioned, but the blonde just shook her head, grabbing the girl's hand and removing it from between her legs. Quinn whimpered mutely at the loss of contact, Santana just staring up at her, not saying a word, or questioning her further.
She shuffled slightly down Santana's thighs, keeping her eyes on deep brown ones as she did. Quinn shifted over in her lap, running a hand blindly down Santana's left leg and slipping it between her own while still straddling the girl beneath her. Santana's eyes went wide as Quinn slammed forward against her, grinding herself down while the girl moaned at the new contact.
"Holy shit, Quinn," Santana exclaimed, her fingers gripping the girl's hips as her head hit the mattress. The taller girl almost came at the sound, rocking herself further against Santana, feeling her wet heat against her upper thigh.
She slowly angled herself to the right, seeing stars just behind her lids. She lifted her hips to Santana's, the other girl arching off the bed. It wasn't long before Santana's breath began to quicken and her eyes clenched shut. Quinn could feel her movements getting shorter and more frantic, her fingers pressing deeper in her hips. Quinn leant down, claiming Santana's lips as the girl's left leg pulled up further against her side. Quinn wrapped an arm around her thigh holding her there as she continued to rock into her, her lips never leaving Santana's.
The girl grabbed the back of Quinn's neck, her fingers sliding up into her hairline. Her labored breaths were hitting Quinn's cheek, her whole body tensing beneath her. Santana's every muscle tightened, Quinn biting down on her full bottom lip as she cried out moments later, the blonde following shortly after.
Quinn slumped heavily on top of her, leaning her forehead to hers, and slowly releasing Santana's leg and settling between her thighs. They were still trembling slightly, a soft sigh slipping from Santana's lips as Quinn kissed at her neck, tasting sweat and sweet perfume on her tongue.
Quinn began to shuffle further down, kissing her way past Santana's chest. She lingered for a moment, before the girl stopped her from going any lower. "Wait, wait," Santana husked, pulling her up short. Quinn looked back at the breathless girl beneath her, those eyes focusing on wide hazel. "Stay here, please? Just for a little while."
Quinn licked at her lips, suddenly nervous, before moving back up. Santana ran a lazy finger through her still damp hair, Quinn ducking her head when those eyes just continued to stare. Even though she was already naked, she'd never felt so bare then when Santana's gaze was on her. It was something she knew she'd never fully get used to, and a part of her never wanted to either.
"I love you," Santana breathed effortlessly.
And then there's that.
"No, don't say anything," she pleaded with a sad smile, her fingers still brushing through her short fringe. "I just needed you to hear it."
And Quinn did. Those words echoed in her ears, and washed over her still flushed skin. But she didn't say any of her own, merely leaning back down to press her lips to Santana's, her eyes falling shut.
I love you too.