I think I need a beta reader. Anyone wants to be my beta reader?
Kogami ran, sweat running down his body, his legs running to catch the criminal. Dominator set in his hand, he pointed it to the running escapee.
(Criminal coefficient:873. Dominator activated. Lethal Eliminator.)
One shot. And the brain burst- the juicy grapes of neurones flowing and scattered to the muddied ground, and a life taken.
He no longer felt the burst of emotion- no regret, no remorse -nothing, not even the exhilaration of a desire of violence. Its almost like he was already merging with the system himself, a robotic system where collective unconscious are heavily valued. He pushed the trigger- because it was his job, because he wants to protect the system- and all he felt was apathy.
Its a daily job. But he knew he had to stick at this job, because the Sybil System had assessed that he has high qualifications of it.
For some reason, that puts him in unease.
When the job was done, he walked his way to his apartment. Yet what he spotted in the middle of the road- covered by the nightly shadows of the tree was Makishima Shogo- the stranger he had met just a couple days ago- looking ethereal amidst the droll reality of the park.
This was the second time they had met. And Kogami already felt his blood boiling and his chest tightening- he clenched his teeth. The man did not smile, he just looked at Shinya, with that intense gaze of his- as if he can penetrate his mind, and see his insides. What may seem like amazing powers of observations and perception of a higher level of intellect irritates him. Because Makishima pushes him from the levels of apathy, and pushes him to a level in which its dangerous for him to have. The last time he met Makishima, it has increased his crime coefficient greatly. All he know is to shut the thought of him away.
"Kogami Shinya." The man called him, and for a second he could see Makishima's lips tensing.
"Makishima Shogo." Kogami knew it, they would meet again. It was almost like a gut feeling, something akin to fate, even though he dislike the concept ardently. He even hates the fact that he had remembered, thought and pondered about the existence of the man more than he usually should. Even more than what he would like to admit.
Makishima walked closer to him, a small smile gracing his lips. He seems less pretentious this time, but the strength of his eyes had not diminished. Instead it was strengthened of the fact that it was so dark and his light eyes seem to glow. "I had not expected to meet you here." It was said casually, so casually that Kogami finds it hard to believe the other man's words.
Makishima's fingers touched Kogami's shoulder, he places it there gently, presses it and its weight was unbelievably heavy- almost making Kogami hiss out in pain.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He demanded angrily, slapping Makishima's hand away.
Makishima's eyes widened, as if he just realized what he was doing, but his calm facade returns immediately. "I'm sorry, I just want to feel a bit... at home, seeing you was like seeing a familiar."
Kogami wanted to walk away, and leave this nutcase alone. But he finds out that he couldn't. Something was keeping his feet in the ground, some forces he couldn't comprehend.
"Even though we just met once?" Kogami let his voice out disbelievingly, and it came out hoarse and strange and stretching. He was tired, after all.
Tired of what? Maybe of being alive and yet not feeling alive.
Makishima smiled, his gaze becoming more and more distant. "I feel like I've known you forever." His voice was subdued, and sounded slightly gentle.
Kogami wanted to reply- me too, but resist the words from coming out from his lips. That would be like surrendering, surrendering to something he can't even name. He wanted to shook this man in front of him- for no reason at all, maybe beg him to stop being so oddly different. He's tired of different people- and he didn't want people to mess with his life. He's content with his life. And he didn't want more emotional baggage.
He didn't even like the guy. He didn't know why he ended up inviting the stranger to his apartment.
Makishima had an appraising look as he entered Kogami's apartment. If he was surprised at the invitation, he didn't show it the slightest.
Kogami watched him as he sat at his sofa, folding his legs and looking slightly relaxed, and noticed that something was slightly out of place with the guy, he looks a bit tensed, something Kogami knew he wouldn't see the last time he met. He wondered what had happened, but decided that he didn't need to know.
"Makishi-" He has a right to demand, but his voice was cut out when Makishima kissed him again- his movement was so fast, and he was pinning Kogami's head to the sofa.
Makishima lets out a small sigh when their lips parted, both of them panting for air and desperately trying to lock into each other's eyes. Searching for something they would never dare to admit. Makishima let his cold fingers linger on Kogami's cheek, tracing soft strokes that freezes his skin. "Its Shogo, Shinya."
Without thinking, Kogami lets his fingers move to Makishima's cold hands. And puts it to his lips, savoring its coldness. "Your fingers are so cold." He murmured fondly, and in a second, he realized what he was doing, and it was too late to regret when he started licking Makishima's fingers, earning a soft moan from the other man.
He immediately remembered that he hates the man, when Makishima planted his face on his chest, as if he was tired. Almost like he always had belonged there.
"I hate the world. Its no longer the world I once envisioned." Makishima muttered. "I wanted them to be free- to express what they want to express, because that's what makes them who they are- and that makes them interesting. Is it too much to long for an everyday world where people do everyday stuffs?" He sounds oddly weary as Kogami finds his hands softly trailing circles on his back- his expression melting to an uncharacteristic gentle expression- as if this is how it was meant to be and no one could ever change that.
A derisive laughter escaped Makishima's lips, as if he had betrayed too much, and said too much. The laughter was a desperate cry of denial.
"Aristophanes once offered a story dealing with human nature and the human condition. Human beings were once spherical, with eight limbs like an octopus , four arms and four legs, one head with two faces and four ears and two sets of genitals, male or female, or both, so that they were any one of three kinds: male-male, male-female, and female-female. One day they offended the gods and to punish them Zeus cut them in half, scattering the two severed halves in opposite directions. Since that day, we are always searching for our other half. When a half meets its other half, each is overcome by Eros and each delights in being with the other. The reason for this is not, or at least not merely, a desire for sexual intercourse: on the contrary, the soul of each wishes for something it cannot put into words. Lovers desire to live a common life and die a common death, to become One again, in a complete and lasting union. The reason for this is our ancient nature: we were once a unified Whole. 'Eros' Aristophanes tells us, 'Is the desire and pursuit of Wholeness'."
Makishima gazed at Kogami's eyes, a flicker of blue and purple coagulating in whole- the eyes gazing him with desire, love and hatred- all blurring in indefinite lines. "I can't help but think you're born for my own sake, Shinya."
"How conceited of you." Kogami mutters absently. "I hate you, you know."
"I'm not surprised." Makishima said, pushing him violently to the sofa- ripping away from the lazy embrace, his fingers hard on his chest- the danger jolting him alert, like a wake up call- his eyes was glinting viciously- if he was hurt, he was expressing it through a cold kind of malice. "Humans have defense mechanisms, and heightened animalistic instincts- no matter how they're conditioned to peace. When their subconscious sense a threat, their conscious would scream danger. Its how we humans have survived till now- despite the dangers of extinction."
"You want to kill me, because you know my existence perturbed every sense- every single law you know. Because I am your shadow, some part of yourself that you wouldn't want to admit. I am dangerous, and I am bad for you but you can't help but desire me. Because I'm a part of you- one you've tried so desperately to reject. I'm born for your sake, Shinya." The last words had a tinge of loneliness in it.
Kogami wanted to say something- but each words were true. He was afraid of Makishima because he knew they were too similar, and that he didn't want to admit a side so dark could exist in himself. That would mean going against every values he got, every principle he had held.
Makishima lets out a small sigh before using the sofa to balance his body, he was getting ready to leave. "I suppose we can't have everything in this world." And for a second, Kogami saw Makishima had turned human, and saw the weariness behind that calm facade. He was the man doomed to never take a rest, and each blink was to be taken with careful and deliberate consideration.
He can't let that shoulder walk away from his sight.
So he did what he could do.
Hold it tight. Keep him close.