Rated T for swears.
They fall through the door in uproarious laughter. Somehow pushing the door open became another challenge fight over. Playful elbows and bumping hips, a pile of hands on the handle, then both of them fall through together.
"Monty!" they both greet the happy dog at their feet.
"I'll take him outside. Make yourself at home, Cupcake."
"Wait, wait!" she calls as he moves outside with the dog. Kensi steps out of her heels, "I'm going to find something else to wear. Get one last look at this dress before I vacuum seal it for Hetty."
He thinks he'd like to have the dress dusted for prints before she does this, but swallows the comment as he watches her do a dainty barefoot twirl in front of him.
"What's so funny?"
"I cannot wait until sober Kensi finds out what drunk Kensi has been up to—I'm adding fashion show to the list."
"I am sober Kensi!"
"Those dance moves tonight were sober Kensi? Color me impressed."
"Sober Kensi has all kinds of moves you've never seen," she says with a smile, adding, "Cupcake" as she pushes him toward the steps.
"Oh-ho-ho," he exales. "Be quick about it, Montague. And It ain't the dress I was looking at, Sweetcheeks!" he calls back.
When Deeks and Monty return, the man is dumbfounded. Monty barks happily as Kensi dances to some music she put on. She's making coffee in his kitchen wearing one of his baseball sleeve tees and his boxer briefs. The ensemble makes her dress look like a nun's habit.
"Wow Kens," is all he can manage for a greeting.
"Hope you don't mind," she says coyly shaking out her loose curls.
"Hope you don't mind if I remember this moment for eternity."
"I can help with that," she says as she strides toward him. She places her hands along his collar bones and leans into him as she presses a light kiss to his lips.
Deeks chuckles once as he grins shyly at her. He replies with a heavenly light kiss and all Kensi wants is more. This, their first non-cover kiss, is saying so much more than they have been able to in the last three years as partners. It's surprisingly tender and emotional for both.
Deeks pulls back and spins Kensi around causing her to giggle. A bad-ass who giggles for him alone—how did he get so lucky? He wraps his arms around her waist bringing her back to his chest and she sighs.
He kisses her shoulder then rests his head on it. "I'm so glad you're back home," he murmurs.
"Me too," she says leaning her head on his. "Get some coffee, Deeks. Let's sit and you can tell me all about this undercover op you're leaving for tomorrow."
This isn't happening. His lips are soft and insistent.
It's not possible. Her sides burn where his fingers leave a trail.
There is no way he is kissing me like this backing me into my apartment. His mouth moves to her neck; her quick gasp cheers him on.
The door creaks as it opens behind her. It's not logical. But it feels amazing.
"So I guess I'll see you Monday, Agent Callen," she says with a tight smile as she lolls her head for him to join her inside.
Then the wheels fall off.
He detaches from her neck and looks into her eyes.
Nell is giving him a look that blurs the lines of playful and sultry. She can't read the blue eyes gone cold.
Nell. His intelligence analyst. His co-worker. Whose taste is still on his lips. Whose hips are still in his grasp.
His hands drop as if scalded.
Nell instinctively crosses her arms across her chest, but her sharp mind has yet to catch up to what her body already perceives. "What's wrong?" she whispers.
"This is a mistake," he says looking at his shoes.
G. Callen doesn't make mistakes and he sure as hell doesn't do non-confrontational. Nell laughs nervously. "What? That was a joke, Callen. A bad joke. About Monday, I mean. Come on in."
"No, Nell," he says meeting her eyes now. He looks so sad and this shocks her as much as his next words, "this was a mistake."
"Was?" she repeats quietly feeling a tornado of astonishment, embarrassment, and anger begin to well within her. "So it's over?" she feels so childish saying this but it's out of her mouth before she can stop herself.
"It never started."
She feels the hot pin-pricks of tears before they start. His awful words are the catalyst for the cyclone inside. "So….what now? I'm dismissed?"
He moves to hold her again, hold himself together so he can say this right, but she spins and pushes him away as she slams the door in his face.
Before she can bolt the lock, Callen is turning the knob.
"Don't!" she yells forcefully as the tears start. "Just leave Callen!"
He lets her lock the door then says, "Nell, can we talk about this?"
She doesn't answer. What more is there to say? She got what she's wanted since she laid eyes on him, and he called it a mistake.
"Nell," he says a little louder, "Nell!" Ever-composed Called is long gone. He wraps his knuckles on the door forcefully. Then it sounds like he's punching it. When he kicks it in frustration, she cries "Ow!" and he hears her stumble away from the door.
"I'm sorry Nell!" he calls, worried she's hurt.
"For which part? Almost kicking my door in or making me feel like an idiot?" she yells back through the door.
"If I wanted to kick your door down, it'd be down. You know I don't mean to make you feel like an idiot. I'm the idiot… Let me in, okay?"
"Can you please just go away?" she says sounding small and sad.
"I want to try to explain—"
"Will explaining change your answer or will it just to make you feel better?"
"Am I still a mistake?"
"Nell, you're not a mistake. I'm saying I would be a mistake for you—"
"Go home, Agent Callen."
Staring at her dented door, he listens to her muffled cry for ten minutes before he does.
She's wanted to be in his arms like this forever. Kensi knows Deeks knows she's a romantic: Medieval Times, Titanic, waiting for Jack. She loves that he also knows better than to call her on it. Instead, he acts on it and doesn't comment. Wrapped up in his arms on his couch after the worst two weeks of a mission and the best night of dancing and kissing is more than she could have hoped for.
"So who slipped?" he asks. "Eric?"
"Nell, actually. Though it was a slip. She mentioned you set up something for us Tuesday night, then immediately regretted saying anything."
"Are you mad at me?"
"For delaying an undercover op from the LAPD? Maybe a little."
He pinches her side playfully. "For leaving you alone right after we got you back?"
"Of course not," she knows he's been worried about her response or he would have told her at the hospital. "I'd be more upset if you turned them down."
"I tried that. A few times actually. But Hetty appealed to my sense of duty and told me she'd do everything needed to take care of you. Then she threatened un-liaise me, so I did the right thing."
"You gonna' be okay without backup?" she asks, nuzzling her face into his neck.
"Yeah, yeah, this is kid's stuff. Just happens to be my mug this guy remembers."
"You'll call Callen & Sam if you need them?"
"I will, but I won't need any backup."
"You'll call me if your backup needs back up?"
"Kens, you know Hetty's going to bench—" She pinches his side, but in a not-so-playful way.
"Oww, Oww, OW, Fern! Okay!"
He waits until she's settled down in his arms again to whisper, "you know I will."
At this, she raises up to kiss him once more. It's so strange, she thinks. She was sure if this thing ever happened, it would be fire meets ice. An explosion. Pent up passion released like a breach in a dam. But somehow it turned into this warm, comfy, perfect relief.
He's reading her mind, "I didn't think it'd be like this," he muses tracing his fingers down her arms.
"Oh yeah, hot shot? What'd you think it be like?"
"Bikinis, a fist-fight, you out-of-your-mind-jealous over some blond who wanted m—"
"Well, I did have a bikini for my cover."
He growls and says, "and instead of a fist-fight I got to shoot that asshole in the face."
She hugs him tighter then mimics his growl as she says, "and I do recall you dancing with some blond tonight."
"Hey, hey, hey… I was grieving. I thought you didn't want all of this," he motions to himself.
She snorts and says, "God help me, I do." This kiss hints of the passion that will come. He matches her intensity for a few minutes, but reluctantly pulls away.
"Yeah Deeks?" she says as she finds herself straddling his lap and kissing beneath his ear.
"Martyyou'reamoron," he mumbles before sitting upright and holding her away from his neck, "Um, well, I can think of a few reasons we shouldn't let this go any further."
She snorts again. "You can, huh? Care to share these reasons?" she says as she moves to his other ear.
"Uh, well, Princesss, you've had a rough couple of weeks."
"I can think of a way you could make me feel better," she whispers in his ear.
He takes a deep breath, "Okay, I—I've had a rough couple of weeks."
"Ooohh, want me to make you feel better?"
"Argh! Kensi, I'm serious!"
"I can see that," she smirking while she uncoils from around him.
"It's not funny!"
"Isn't it? Just a little?"
"Kensi, please. Go back to your boring serious self for five minutes, okay?"
"Okay, now I'm boring?" she says with a scowl.
"How did I fuck this up?" he moans beneath his hands.
"Deeks, I'm kidding. You've got boring, sober Kensi for the next five. Ready? Go."
"Are you hurt?" he says looking her up and down. She knows what he means.
"What about when you were crying in the shower?"
"Emotional. Not physical."
"That counts too. Are you going to be okay?" Without me for a week or four? Ever again?
"I'm sure I'll miss your constant stream of upbeat chatter, but I'll live."
"Okay, now let boring-serious Kensi answer."
"I'll be fine. Not fine," she self-corrects, "Okay. I'll miss you, I'm a little on edge, but I'll be okay. I talk to the shrinks. Do their dance."
"Would you ask me to stay if you thought it would help you."
"Probably not," she says after a prolonged hesitation.
"Okay, that was honest. Thanks. I need you to be honest with this one too: Did I disappoint you?"
"Not as a partner, Kensi. As a man. I know you were giving Nell the safe codes and that you're the best of the best , but were you Kensi disappointed I Marty didn't come in there and get you out sooner."
"No. Not after we found out about the second shipment of girls. Sam and I had to stick it out for their lives, Marty. Their lives."
They sit in silence for a few minutes.
"Are you disappointed in yourself?" she asks him tentatively.
"More than I've ever been in my life."
"You can't be! Not if I told you it was what I wanted. It was our duty to those girls, Marty."
"I'm loyal to one girl above all others."
"Well, she's flattered and thinks you're priorities are shit. Thank you for trusting me, though. Okay Deeks? Thanks for not barging in when you wanted to. I knew it would be hard for you. But it's over. We saved them, okay?"
He doesn't reply.
"Are you disappointed in me?" she asks wringing her hands.
"Of course not!"
"You're not ashamed of me? You don't think less of me?" she's watching her hands and doesn't see him swoop in to kiss her.
"Never, okay Kens? Like I said at the start, I would have preferred another way, but there's no way we would have found out about the second shipment. You had to be close to him."
"All right, serious Kensi is about to go away. Any last questions?"
"Yeah, I've got one," he says reclining and putting his hands behind his head. "Why tonight?"
They both knew it'd have to be Kensi who initiated this relationship. All parties knew Deeks had been on board for years, but he wasn't willing to push her to decide. Their partnership meant too much to him, to both of therm.
"I was overwhelmed with how much I missed you. The whole time I was there, I kept thinking about what you would say or do. How you would make me laugh. How you would keep me calm. How you would get me through the awful parts. I couldn't stop thinking about you. I realized I'd been kidding myself denying my feelings for you all these years on the second day."
His shocked expression at her honest answer was priceless.
"That answer everything, Sweetums? Good," she says as she leads him to his bedroom. "I can work with a speechless Deeks. We've got five hours before I have to turn you over to the LAPD."
Well, Tuesday-ish. No new games. I didn't think you'd be in the mood after this up and down (and up again). Old games still in play.