He looks at me for a few minutes without saying a word, but finally answers,
"Just leave me alone, jerk!" Before he runs out, he bursts into tears.
I'm dumbfounded, I don't understand...I thought he liked me back. I stand there for a moment, not moving, not speaking. Until a little voice in my head speaks up,
"Go after him, you moron!" I yell at myself. As I hurry out the door of the bathroom I bump into someone going just as fast. Sora...
"Matt, what happened!? Tai just ran out of here crying, he wouldn't speak to us." She asks me. I want to tell her it's none of her freaking business, but I refrain.
"Nothing, I just need to go talk to him." I push by her a bit and try to go find Tai, but she grabs my arm.
"Is your nose alright now, Matt?"
Tai just ran away crying and she's worried about MY nose!? I feel like smacking her, Tai is much more important than my dumb nose.
"I'm fine," I shake her loose and hurry to find my best friend. I walk by the soccer field and down towards the lake, and I see him. The little brunette is sitting under a tree crying his eyes out...and I can't understand why. Is it because he hates me now?
I walk over softly and sit down next to him.
"Tai...why are you crying? I didn't think I was going to hurt your feelings..."
He's not answering...please don't ignore me. Please say something, 'I love you' 'I hate you', something so I know what to do.
"You..." He finally lifts his head and looks at me. "Who do you think you are?"
"After all the torture I've been through for these past years, you just come up and say you love me out of nowhere, like you're all special or something!"
"What are you talking about?" Really...what IS he talking about?
"Ever since we came back from the Digital World I had a crush on you, and then as we grew older I started falling in love with you more and more each day. But I didn't think you could ever feel that way for me, ever! You're one of the most popular boys in school and I'm short, and skinny, and I have big stupid hair and clothes that are never ironed. I'm a freak, and it's awful...having to be so close to you and never getting to show you how I really feel."
"I didn't know..." Why is he saying such bad things about himself? If he only realized how beautiful I think he is.
"When we had sleepovers, I could barely control myself. I wanted to ask you to come share my bed with me, sing me to sleep, kiss me goodnight...hold me in your arms. Sometimes I stayed awake for hours watching you sleep, just wishing I could touch you."
He's not looking at me while he tells me all this, I wish he would...
"I kissed you once, while you were asleep." He seems kind of embarrassed to tell me this, and I must admit, I'm a little shocked. "For a second I got so scared that you were going to wake up and yell at me, but you just rolled over and started snoring again. You never knew..."
"Well, I know now."
He turns his head and gives me a dirty look. Great Matt, is that all you have to say? He's pouring his heart out and I'm just sitting here doing nothing like an idiot.
"You think you're so important Matt, like you can just make me suffer for years and then announce that you love we whenever the heck you want! It's not fair!"
He looks like he's about to cry again. I think I'm starting to understand how he feels. It was awful having to hold back around him for just a few weeks, and he's felt this way for years? I've unknowingly put my closest friend through hell for three years...
"I'm sorry, Tai....Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"Because I don't like being punched in the face and having the crap beat out of me, which is what I thought you'd do... Kari is the only one that knows I feel this way. I never even told Agumon, because I didn't think he would understand. For the past year, I thought you were in love with Sora. I didn't want to ruin everything by telling you something like that."
"Well I'm not in love with Sora, so you're not ruining anything," I answer, and it's so true. "I never loved her. I won't lie, I did like her, a lot, but I never really thought I was in love with her. I don't know, maybe I was hoping I'd fall in love with her eventually."
"But you fell in love with me instead..." He says, almost like he just won something. But come to think of it, I guess he did. He's won my devotion. Just sitting here next to him makes me want him even more than I did a half hour ago.
I inch closer to him, until our bodies are touching lightly. He really is very pretty, and he smells nice too, even after playing soccer. I can't believe I never noticed how desirable he is until recently.
"I love you," he says. If only it could have just been so simple, if he could have just said that years ago and everything had been perfect. I guess love doesn't always work out perfectly at first. Well, after all this, I guess I can't deny it any longer.
"I love you too." And suddenly, I feel this warmth in the pit of my stomach and I know I do. I've lost my mind...I love a boy, but I don't care. I want to be with him, let everyone think I'm crazy.
"Wait, but what about Sora?"
GREAT, I forgot about her... And to top it all off, I see her walking over to us. Why? Why can't she just leave me alone?
"Hey! Did you work things out?" She comes and kneels down in front of us, and places her hand on my leg. Ugh, take it off....
"Yeah, I guess so," I reply. I notice Tai is staring out at the lake, he seems like he's trying to pretend Sora isn't there.
"What was the fight about, Matt?" She says. I guess she thought we had an argument or something.
Wait, what's happening, Tai is trembling slightly. He blinks and I see another tear roll down his cheek and get lost somewhere in his clothes. Sora is too busy looking at me to see him crying.
I can't make him cry anymore. With this beauty sitting next to me, I'm so sure that I love him, that I want to stay with him forever. I want to pick him up and take him away with me now, and forget about Sora. It's not going to happen that way though, I need to tell her. I don't care if she gets mad at me, but I hope she doesn't say anything bad to Tai.
"Sora, I need to tell you something."
"I really don't think I can go out with you anymore..."
She gasps and removes her hand from where it was resting on my leg.
"Why? Matt, did I do something wrong!?"
"It's not that... It's just...Taichi, I'm in love with him. And I just found out that he feels the same way." Tai still hasn't said anything. "I didn't even know I felt this way until a few weeks ago...I should have told you sooner. I'm sorry, Sora." I'm trying to be nice, but I actually am kind of sorry. I don't want to hurt her feelings....too much.
I wait for her to slap me or something, but instead she surprises me and says something I NEVER would have expected.
"I'm happy for you two."
"WHAT!?" Tai suddenly looks up at her and we both say it at the same time. Sora smiles a bit and continues.
"All the digidestined have noticed that there is something special about you two. Just the way you enjoy each other's company, the way you talk, the way you touch. Mimi even suspected that you were secretly dating, because you 'flirt so much' as she put it. Recently, I've been wondering the same thing, since you've been avoiding me so much."
I sigh and look down at the grass. "Was it that obvious?"
"Yes," she actually giggles slightly while saying this. "You're anything but discreet, Matt."
"I guess that's all worked out," Tai breaks in. He's still not making eye contact, and he's blushing a little. I reach and touch his hand lightly and the red in his cheeks flares up, like someone just turned up the gas under a fire.
"I'll leave you two alone for now," Sora says. She gets up and walks away without saying another word.
So we sit, my hand is still on Tai's and the sun is starting to descend in the sky. Sunset won't come for a few more hours now, but the beams bouncing off the lake are reflecting in his brown eyes.
"Tai," I ask him, growing a bit uneasy. There's something I've been wanting to do, but I don't know he he'll let me.
"Have you ever kissed anyone before?"
He turns and looks at me, those lovely cocoa eyes growing bigger. I want to know what he's thinking, if he's mad or excited, or something else.
"Well, no...not really," he answers shyly. "I'm guessing you have."
"Yes, Sora and I were together for almost a year, remember? Of course we've kissed before." I shift myself a little so I can see his face better, he keeps looking away. He seems to unsure of what to do.
"So, you've never had a real kiss before."
"Nope...who'd want to kiss me?"
"I think I know someone who does."
He finally looks back up at me again, I don't think he plans on turning away this time. He's not quite smiling, but he seems to be getting a little happier.
"I don't really know how..."
"I can always teach you." I lean a tiny bit closer to him. "Do you want me to?"
"What does It feel like?" He doesn't seem apprehensive, just curious.
"I don't really know how to describe it. It would be easier to show you." I'm so eager to kiss him...but I'm getting a little scared. I want to give him a kiss that will let him know I really love him.
"Just a little one," he finally gives me permission, "Because I don't want to mess up on my first try."
I place one hand on his shoulder and the other on the side of his face, guiding his lips closer to mine. I can feel his breath against my face and I close my eyes, hoping he'll follow my lead. He's moving towards me, he's trembling just the tiniest bit. At last, his lips brush against mine, and they're so soft and sweet, the softest things I've ever felt. I worry for a second, knowing mine are slightly chapped, but I don't think he minds. I push against him a little, and he kisses back.
This is the most perfect moment of my life...Tai leans back and looks at me, and touches his lips in amazement. I smile, he's adorable.
"How was your first kiss?"
He answers me almost breathlessly,
And now, for the first time in my life, I, Ishida Yamato, feel whole.
~~~~And they lived happily ever after.