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The following documents are transcripts of confidential "video diary" recordings of high school students in South Park, Colorado.

Transcriptionist's Notes: The start and end of each session, as well as other descriptions requested, will be denoted in the following format: italicized font surrounded by brackets. Elapsed time is defined as a period of maintained silence. All elapsed times are approximate to the nearest 30 seconds.


South Park Confidential


Session 1: Eric

Name: Eric Cartman

Age: 17

Gender: Male

[Begin Session]

[EC sits down on the provided chair and leans into the camera]

So, let me just start by saying that this is bullshit. The only reason I'll be coming into this gay little closet to talk to a fucking wall camera is because I need this to graduate. Our fucking school principal decided to be a bitch about some totally funny things I did. But, when she heard you were looking for high school kids to do your faggy research, she offered me this deal: either participate or repeat 11th grade. So, I'm here. Because she's a fucking cunt. Like I'm gonna sit in here and talk about my feelings. Please. Go fuck yourselves.

[End Session]

Session 2: Stan

Name: Stan Marsh

Age: 17

Gender: Male

[Begin Session]

Hi. I'm – I'm Stan Marsh. I'm a student – Shit, I can't do this. I just – can't – deal with this –

[SM covers his face with his hands. Muffled crying can be heard]

[Elapsed time 5 min]

[SM uncovers his face and sighs, exhaustedly]

It's Wendy. She just told me she thinks she pregnant.

[SM gets up and begins to pace]

I just – I gotta go.

[End Session]

Author's Note: Trying a new style. The idea just sort of popped into my head and I went with it. Let me know what you think! Hope you enjoyed :)