"My One And Only Love"
Summary: Among a Valentine's Day night, Monty Monogram has decided to treat Vanessa Doofenshmirtz to a nice unforgettable date she'll always remember. But with so much unpredictable occurrences happening in the middle of their time together alongside Perry as chaperone and Dr. Doofenshmirtz wandering downtown, will they make it through the night in one piece?
Pairing: Monty Monogram x Vanessa Doofenshmirtz
Disclaimer: I for once, do not own Phineas and Ferb whatsoever, nor do I own Monty Monogram, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz or it's characters. Just a little heads up I thought I give ya. I'm gonna do my best to make them in-character, so be respective. I appreciate it! ^_^
Thinking that he saw Vanessa in the flesh very far away, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, still in his bathrobe and slippers, began to chase after her as the same time that the zoo worker was trying to chase right after him.
"Stop, dude! I order you to stop this moment!" The zookeeper shouted. But Doofenshmirtz didn't want to listen. He just kept on running.
"I'm coming, Vanessa! Don't worry!" Doof shouted foolishly as he began pacing and pacing just an ounce.
However, what Doof didn't see coming was perhaps a roadblock. And it was in the form of a man dressed in a koala suit, who was busy rolling a cotton candy cart and talking in a Foghorn Leghorn accent.
"Cotton Candy, I say! Get your cotton candy! 50% off!" The huge koala said as Doofenshmirtz was busy looking at the angry zoo worker that was chasing right after him, therefore losing his focus trying to chase Vanessa. However, what Doff didn't know that he was about to collide with the cotton candy cart!
"Ha! You can't chase me with such skinny knees like thaaaAAAAAAT!" Doof yelled as he turned around and collided the cart with his ribs.
The result was this: Doofenshmirtz's body was now sent rolling. The man in the koala suit saw his cart and a now screaming Doofenshmirtz roll away to a hill in an instant.
"My cart, I say! That guy's stealing my cart!" The koala exclaimed to the zoo dude, informing him that the cart was stolen.
"No kidding! That bro ain't even supposed to be here! Let's get him!" The zookeeper said angrily as he and the guy in the koala suit now started to chase after Doofenshmirtz.
Trying to clear off the cobwebs of the cotton candy, Doofenshmirtz finally noticed that he was now being rolled to the alligator and crocodile area. For an evil genius, Doofenshmirtz would likely to have screamed to the point that he would likely lose his boxers in the process, but at least it was a quicker way to get to Vanessa.
"Well, this is easier than I expected..." Doofenshmirtz sighed as he was rolling right down the slanted zoo hill, "Here I come, Vanessaaaaaaaaa!"
With his foolish yell, Doofenshmirtz now rolled right inside the crocodile/alligator cave. The kids all turned around and screamed to the point that the cart was gonna run over them. Luckily, the rest of the kids who were looking at the alligators were all smart to hide right behind their mothers as the cotton candy cart rolled right past them.
"Ohhhhhhh, maaaaaaaaan!" Doofenshmirtz screamed a bit as the cart was now rocking side to side in chances that the evil genius was going to fall off. Luckily, he hung on with such good grippage. But unfortunately, this ride was about to be short than his search for Vanessa.
With slow motion playing from his point of view, Doofenshmirtz looked right to the side and saw what appeared to be Vanessa. And she was looking right at the baby crocodiles. Doofenshmirtz tried to call her name out, but unfortunately, he wouldn't see what was about to hit him.
Doofenshmirtz's scream indicated that he suddenly hit a bench, in which he was now sent flying from a good mile away...
...only to land somewhere in which he didn't want to be in right now: a crocodile hut.
As soon as Heinz finally shook himself off from that painful landing, he noticed that a crowd or perhaps a circle of hungry crocodiles was cornering him through a wall. The angry smirks on those crocodile's faces could not be contained. They were hungry for Doofenshmirtz's flesh and blood, and they really meant it well. Stuttering with such fear, Doofenshmirtz spoke very calmly to the crocodiles, who were approaching him slowly.
"So... ehhhhhhh, y-y-you must be hungry... I'm certain that you don't want none of me. I'm actually a bit hard on the bones, so I'm really hard to chew with those jaws of yours..." Doof nervously laughed at the rest of the crocodiles, who were still approaching him with their mouths watered. "See, I'll show you a demonstration! Watch!"
Just trying to bide time, Doofenshmirtz started to gnaw right at his forearm harshly, hoping that he would persuade the crocs to spare him.
But it proved to be a failure. The hungry crocodiles had an appetite and Dr. Heinz Doofensmirtz was on the menu for today. Seeing that there was no way to talk to the crocodiles with compassion, Doofenshmirtz finally gave up.
"Aggggh, what's the point...?" Doofenshmirtz sighed with defeat as with one last moment to spare, he looked right up to the sky, closed his eyes, and just wished for this moment to be over already. "Okay, I give up! Just get it over with it crocodiles, and make it quick and painless!"
It was the end of the line for Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Right now, his life was now flashing before him at a fast forward angle. The moments that he shared.
From his daughter's birth.
To throwing his daughter's embarrassing birthday parties.
To the first time he and Perry The Platypus met.
And the moments where Perry would always foil Dr. Doof's plans in failure of taking over the Tri-State area.
And now it had finally come down to this. The moment where the crocodiles were gonna make a shisk kabob out of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's insides. They would be successful...
...if it hadn't been for the zoo dude who finally showed up in time and displaying some kind of cattle prod. He jumped in front of the circle and threatened to use the weapon on the crocodiles, should they even think twice of having to eat a defenseless evil doctor.
"Okay. Back croc dudes! This meal is totally out of order! I'm telling ya, bras, back off!" The zoo dude angrily said to the crocodiles. And before Doofenshmirtz finally knew it, the crocodiles began to back off in whimper and defeat.
After the entire hut was cleared, Doofenshmirtz spoke right to the hero of the scene.
"Oh, thank you so much, Mr. Zookeeper. You would'nt believe the trouble that I've been-AAAAAAAAAH!" Doofenshmirtz shouted in pain as he was cut off by the zookeeper giving him a minor wedgie with one hand! Painfully and cautiously, Doofenshmirtz spoke right at him with a cringing expression, "That really hurts! I'm fragile when it comes to pain like this, you know!"
"Truthfully, I don't care, dude. You shouldn't be in the zoo without a ticket anyway, nor should you dress like a bathrobe-wearing weirdo. The kids were so frightened by the sight of you, even monkeys had to dig their own head in dirt when they saw you, brah!" The zoo keeper exclaimed angrily right at Doofenshmirtz, "So just because I'm saving you, that doesn't mean you're getting off very easy."
Slowly and yet surely, both the zoo dude and Dr. Doofenshmirtz got out of the crocodile hut, but the evil genius was now in custody. He tried to get out, but the zookeeper had such a strong grip despite the skinny build.
"Can we talk this over? I'll let you be part of my soon-to-be-takeover of the Tri-State Area! I'll even through free muffins for the offer? What do you say?" Doof pleaded to the zookeeper, who wasn't even looking right at him.
"I rather have a monkey fly outta my butt." The zoo dude responded back to him as they began to walk right the zoo's main center so that Doof would be held for the time being. Doofenshmirtz now thought of another idea.
"Okay, how about you still become part of my takeover and I'll give you a nice free surfboard! Sounds good, huh?" Doof smiled a bit narrowly.
"Your words isn't gonna work on me, brah. You still broke the park rules, dude." Zoo dude said to him again.
"Darn, I thought the surfboard trick would've work! Maybe I might have guessed it by his accent..." Doof sighed angrily and guiltily as they both entered the public zoo's main office building.
Look, if anyone of you are still asking, the young zookeeper in this story has a surfer dude accent. Just giving you a heads up, people. Until then, next chapter will come soon. Read and review, everyone.