Author's Note: I thoroughly enjoyed writing this since it's been a plotbunny of mine for what feels like over a year. Finally, FINALLY I got it put down in print. HALLELUJAH!

Oneshot. Humor/Fluff. Nick/Ellis. Slash.

Acknowledgements: Thanks be to Amanda for reading this. And thanks for reading this a second time after we both came to the conclusion that you hadn't read it the first time … oi vey. 3

Summary: Playing Rock, Paper, Scissors: leaving your future to fate or luck?

Pillow Talk

"Well I'll be damned!"

"What is it?"


"What is it?"

"Oh my God, it's Christmas!"


"Calm down, Nick, it's just a bed!"

Nick shoved past the other survivors blocking the doorway into the safe house and, lo and behold, there was a bed pushed in to a corner of the spacious room. It looked to be about a queen size, clean, with a few pillows too.

While everyone gawked at the bed – something they didn't know if they'd ever be able to sleep in again – Nick took the initiative to investigate the safe house further and he discovered a door off of the kitchen with – gasp! – another bed! He called over the others, listened to them exclaim and boast about their good fortune for a second, and then said, winking at Rochelle cockily, "I say we Rock, Paper, Scissors for it."

Rochelle pointedly ignored him as he grinned at her, turning her back on him as she held out a closed fist to Ellis. Coach shook his head at Nick while they did the same.

"Two losers sleep together in the bed by the door – which is where you'll be, Ellis – and the two winners together in the other room – meaning you and I, Ro," Nick said. He smiled confidently at Coach, who glowered at him as they began to play the game.

"You're stealing all the blankets, Ellis," Nick grumbled, tugging at the duvet cover. Ellis held fast, not letting go, so Nick pulled harder, finally gaining some ground. He covered up his knees. It was awfully chilly in the drafty safe house. He could hear the wind whistling as it snaked its way into the room they were currently inhabiting.

"Now you have all of the blankets," the younger man grunted, yanking them back.

"Oh for fuck's sake, you have most of the blankets!"

"Well fuck you! You have most o' the bed!"

"YOU'RE the one with three of the four pillows!"

"YOU'RE the one who wouldn' stop snorin'!"

Both men fell silent, breathing heavily. Nick could tell his face was bright red and the hand that was gripping the duvet was clenched in to a fist, the fabric damp with sweat.

"Thought you were gonna be sleepin' with Ro," he heard Ellis mutter.

Nick took a shot in the dark. His palm connected with Ellis' cheek.

"Thought you were a winner, Nick."

Nick took another blind swing, this time Ellis avoided it and instead grabbed the older man's wrist, holding it in a vice grip. Ellis was shaking with laughter, wheezing and coughing beside Nick.

"Fuck you."

"Is – is that your sweet talk, Nick? Is – is tha' – tha' wha' you wish you were doin' to Ro right now?" Ellis gasped out, starting to howl with laughter.

Nick didn't even dignify that with a response, but that didn't stop Ellis. The younger man then took on a mocking tone, mimicking the older man's voice eerily well: "You 'n' me, Ro, we'll be winners t' gether … in bed!"

He let out a loud shriek and, still holding Nick's wrist, rolled over and buried his face in the pillow. The older man could hear his guffaws through the cloth and feathers. He tried tugging his wrist away but the younger man just held on tighter.

Fucking dandy.

He knew he'd be getting no more sleep tonight.

"Can I have my hand back?" he asked loudly.

Ellis rolled over on to his back. He let go. "Can't use your other hand?"

"Oh fuck off."

The younger man chuckled a bit more, fluffed his pillows – all fucking three of them – and settled down, sighing contentedly.

It was silent for a while and Nick had almost drifted off to sleep when Ellis coughed once and inquired, "Why'd you wanna sleep with her so bad anyways?"

"She's a good looking woman, I'm sexy as fuck, and I haven't gotten laid in a while. That enough info for you?" Nick asked, shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

"She wouldn't've said yes."

"Yeah I know. She has something against gorgeous, chiseled, womanizing, oozing-with-confidence men such as myself. She doesn't know what she's missing."

"She wouldn' sleep with a gay guy."

Nick hesitated for a few seconds before saying, "Haha. Funny," his tone dripping with sarcasm.

"Wasn' kiddin'."

"I'm not gay, Ellis. Haven't you noticed this permanent hickey on my neck and the lipstick on my collar?"

"Both those things make you straight?"

"What the fuck, Ellis," Nick quietly said, all sense of joking being lost immediately. "And why do I have to explain how straight I am to you? Ever?"

"I've jus' wanted t' say tha' we like you … for you. I like you jus' the way you are."

Nick said nothing.

"You don' have t' pretend that you're some womanizin' beast, the Vag Destroyer, the Pussy Pounder, the –"

Nick burst out laughing.

"SHUT UP!" Coach roared from the other room.

Nick covered his mouth with his hands, giggling in to his palms. He had been angry, defensive with his guard up, but now he didn't know if Ellis was just kidding or –

The younger man's hand found Nick's wrist again, gently pulling it away from his lips.

"I was bein' serious, Nick. Honest. Y' don' … y' jus' don't."

He began to pull harder on the older man's arm, and Nick allowed himself to be towed closer to Ellis. His body was pressed up against the younger man's. He could hear Ellis' breathing, feel his breath on his cheek.

"Never expected t' have this talk with you," Ellis said, sounding slightly amused. He applied a greater pressure on Nick's wrist, drawing the older man still closer. He was nearly on top of Ellis now.

Nick could feel his body tensing up, all teasing and play gone as he felt Ellis underneath him. His heart was hammering in his ears, pulsating in an unpleasantly strong way throughout the vessels of his body. He worked furiously to control his breathing, to appear normal. Like this hadn't been a fantasy of his since –

"Nick?" Ellis' voice was husky.


"Off. I wanna go to sleep."