Was It Wrong To Go Along With Insanity?
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters and many of the places mentioned in this story. The plot is the only thing created by me.
An anti-Valentine's Day one-shot showing the complications of love. Hope you all enjoy. :)
Part 1:- Why Does It Feel Like It's Raining?
February had come around faster this year. It always crept up on him before he expected but this year, it had practically rammed itself down his throat in an attempt to choke him on clichéd words, cards and stuffed bears. The majority of his customers at the shop were females searching for potions to make their husbands last longer in bed and some of them even requested something to trick their partners into proposals. Of course the men wouldn't come in until the 13th or some of them the 14th even, spluttering about not knowing what to get their wives. Not having a clue, they often asked him what he would be getting for his wife he would be getting for his wife in the hope of some ideas; though he had never married. Never had the reason; never had the need. There was no thought more unbearable than attaching himself to a woman by paper, not even to quash any rumours that may or may not have circulated.
Severus Snape was perfectly content on his own. That's if the meaning of content was depressed, lonely and no hope for any form of happy ending. But he didn't care about that. He wasn't overly bothered about anything at all in fact: there was simply no point. He fully intended to carry on with his pitiful existence until the fated day that the life would drain from him and his misery would fade into nothing, along with his body. Many people may think that with these thoughts constantly flowing through his mind that Severus was suicidal but that was far from the point. He had never seen the point in such melodrama; there was a lack of point in his life so why should there be any more or less in his death?
"Excuse me, do you have anything that would make me more attractive?"
Severus looked up at the woman and immediately pitied her: she was a middle-aged slightly plain looking creature with a worried expression on her face. If it weren't his own business and profits, he'd tell her to carry on with her day and leave him alone. If he weren't such a non-compassionate being, he would tell her that she was attractive enough as she was.
"I have several things" was his actual response, "What were you looking for in particular?"
"Well I was thinking just for Valentine's Day, you know but if it goes well then I suppose I could look into something more regularly." She looked awkward and Severus didn't blame her: she must have swallowed any last strain of pride that she contained to admit something so ridiculous.
"I think I have what you are looking for but there is one potion for more of a one-off situation and one for regular consumption. Would you like to try the first one for the day and come back to me if you are interested in taking one more often?" he answered dryly.
"Erm- I don't really know. It was just to entice my husband for Valentine's Day but I might need it for longer than that. He's having an affair, you see. He thinks I don't know but I'm not stupid. I just want him to look at me and no one else like he used to before. I was hoping that if I surprised him for Valentine's Day then he might stay with me and forget about her but maybe I need to take it all the time. I just don't know." The witch had given Severus far more information than he could ever want or ever need but he had to admit that some part of him felt for her. Men really were bastards.
"That depends on what you think would be best. I do have a potion of my own invention that would solve your problem but it is not similar to those that you are asking for."
"What is it? It doesn't matter as long as it works. I can't cope with the humiliation any longer."
"It's a true-to-me potion. You will need to get him to drink it and he will feel the overwhelming compulsion to remain faithful to you."
"That sounds perfect. I could tell him it's for something else I suppose and get him to drink it. How much is it?"
"As I said, it's a potion of my own invention so you won't find it anywhere else. It's very rare but very expensive. It's 30 galleons."
"I don't care how much it is if it will save my marriage. Thank you!" She handed over the money without a second thought and Severus wondered to himself how low her self-esteem must be to purchase that potion, especially for such a price. He gave her the potion and received a gleeful smile in return before the woman scurried off in Diagon Alley to buy her treacherous partner a card and presents.
Had it been any of his business, Severus would have told the woman that she shouldn't bother to try and save a marriage with such a selfish and idiotic man but that was business. It was unbelievable what some people came to buy potions for but he wasn't there to tell them not to purchase them; that would be bad business.
That sale had taken place on the 1st of the month: the woman had clearly seen the word February and decided that she needed to do something. The desperation of it all made Severus sick. The next two weeks continued in the same sort of way: attraction potions, love potions, enhancement potions, stamina potions and many more than that. If he wasn't making so much money, he would most definitely choose to take February off and ignore the very existence of relationships all together.
Before Severus knew it, the 10th of February had passed and he only had another four days left to endure the mention of love-related potions. He had tried to palm these customers off on his assistant, who was doing an apprenticeship in Potions. Nathaniel had graduated from Hogwarts in July and was now preparing for his degree; he had taken the job in the shop in the hope that he would learn things from Severus, who despite his Death Eater past was still the most valued Potions Master in Britain. Sadly, the buyers of these potions often wanted to know the specifics of the potions and so had asked to speak to Severus personally, leaving Nathaniel to sell the anti-flu potions after the snow downpours. The lonely man pushed the potions and Nathaniel out of his mind and tried to force himself to sleep; he would take a potion, though he had done that the previous night and had to be careful about how often he took them.
February 11th came around and so did the male customers. He was really starting to tire of it all now; what was the point in celebrating your love for one day? Surely if you loved someone, you should love them all year around and not just today? He didn't know he supposed; relationships had never been his forte. Severus had always ended things before that word was even spoken and more often than not, the person was kicked out after only one night together. He didn't need to be with someone just to stop being lonely. If Severus was ever going to be with anyone, it would be for nothing less than genuine love and that hadn't come by since…
"Could you direct me to something that might help me out- size wise?" the young man blushed under Severus' stare, not realised that he had had many of the same requests that very day. He wasn't in the slightest concerned about the size of the man's penis or the fact that it was inadequate to him; he just wanted to make a sale. He kindly pointed him in the direction of the most successful potion of that type.
"This one would be most useful to you I believe. You will need to take a drop on your tongue for each inch that you need. As I'm sure you're aware, it is not permanent. The effects of this particular brew will last for twenty four hours but you will need to take it again the next day if you wish" he explained, unfathomed.
"Is there nothing more permanent that you have? I mean, this is great for now but what if I wanted it to last longer?" The man couldn't have been any more embarrassed if he had tried now.
"I'm afraid that if you wanted to make permanent changes to your body, you would need to consult a healer for readjustment surgery. Potions can only affect the body for the time that they are contained within it."
"Right, ok then. I'll take this then."
Severus nodded and charged the man for his purchase. When he left, he looked hastily around, almost as if passers-by would have known the reason for his visit to the potions shop.
"Any plans for Valentine's Day Mr Snape?" Nathaniel questioned brightly.
"Yes. I plan to work Nathaniel. What else would I be doing?" he snarled.
"Sorry sir. I was just wondering is all." Nathaniel seemed put out and Severus felt bad. He had become good friends with the man during his time there and he hadn't meant to sound so harsh.
"I apologise. It is just not something that I celebrate."
"Did someone hurt you?" he inquired timidly.
"Not intentionally." How far was this conversation going to go? He didn't really want to get into it.
"But there was someone?"
"There was…" he paused, "there is. But it can't ever happen."
"Why not? Haven't you said anything?"
"No I haven't and I won't. They are spoken for and will remain that way I believe."
"But don't you think that you should say something? What if this person they are with is the wrong one and you are the right one?"
"I am not the right one for anyone Nathaniel. I appreciate what you are trying to do but I am happy as I am thank you. Do you have any plans with your girlfriend?" he changed the subject swiftly, not willing to discuss the situation any more. He was an idiot for falling for the wrong person and he didn't need anyone else telling him so.
"Yes I'm just going to cook her dinner. I don't like making a big deal out of it but she likes to celebrate so we are doing something low-key as a compromise."
They continued their sales for the day and then closed up the shop together, not really speaking a great amount, as they were both tired from the long day. Severus completed his cash up, giving Nathaniel his share for the day, allowing him to leave.
"Thanks Mr Snape. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Thank you for your help Nathaniel." The younger man walked out of the door but stopped midway, turning back to face Severus with a small frown on his face.
"You're wrong by the way sir. You are the right one for someone. You need to remember that." He left the shop before Severus could say anything in response and the older man laughed bitterly at the thought of anyone wanting to be with him.
The 12th and 13th of the month were very much the same as the previous few days, though a few people seeming more stressed out than before about what to get their partners. Severus allowed Nathaniel to advise them on gifts but refused to give his own opinion to anyone that asked. With the next day being his most hated of the entire year, the man was significantly more irritable and as much as he tried not to show it to his customers, he was aware that he was slightly unsuccessful in some cases. It didn't bother him much though; they weren't his regular customers and he was careful to treat those ones with respect, not wanting to lose business.
Eventually, the day came to an end and the two men closed up in silence, Severus handing Nathaniel his earnings for the day. Before the other man could leave, someone walked into the shop.
"I'm sorry sir, we're closed" Nathaniel apologised.
"Please I need help. Snape can you help me?" the voice was familiar and desperate. Severus' head snapped up to the sound; his stomach sank.
"Potter? What do you want?"
"I really need your help."
"We're closed" he answered firmly.
"Please Snape. It's important." Severus kept his expression firm and prepared himself to respond, not knowing himself what that response was going to be. Nathaniel glanced at Severus, then at Harry and left without another word.
"What is it Potter?" The two war heroes had vaguely remained in contact since Voldemort's downfall but no one would have called them close. They had been out for a drink a few times but it was often awkward, mainly on Severus' part to be fair to Harry. If necessary though, he would always help Potter out if he could and not just because…
"This is a bit embarrassing…"
"Spit it out Potter. I've heard this all day and I was about to go home." He hadn't meant to be harsh of course but that was the effect that this man had on him. His usual defence mechanisms multiplied, his frustration rose and his snide comments came back in full-form.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come. I didn't mean to disturb you. I thought you'd help." Harry went to leave the shop, causing Severus to call him back.
"Well you're here now so I might as well help you out. What do you need?"
"A few things and I can't seem to get organised in my head what to get when. From here though, I suppose I just need- well I don't really know what to call it."
"What is it for?"
"I can't tell you that."
"For Merlin's sake Potter! How do you expect me to help you if you can't tell me what the blasted problem is? What do you need?"
"I need an erection, ok?" he blurted out.
"And you've come to me for once of those?" he smirked.
"Well, no…yes. I…you know what I mean!" he stammered, "I need to be able to get one for Ginny." It hurt him to even hear her name- she was the one person that he had managed to avoid since the war ended. Everyone else had contacted him in some way or other but she wasn't the slightest bit bothered about talking to him and he didn't want to talk to her at all and Potter expected him to listen to the problems in their sex life? It killed him inside knowing that she was…
"Snape, are you fucking listening to me?"
"Yes Potter, I am. I was just waiting for the punch-line or am I actually to believe that the saviour of the Wizarding World cannot fulfil his duties as a man?"
"Don't be like this Snape. I came to you for help. Of course I can get it up but just not for her!" He hadn't meant for it to come out like that. No doubt Snape was finding the situation very amusing and would soon laugh in his face. He didn't. Severus was very intrigued by Harry's confession and wanted to know more without sounded interested.
"And why is it a problem for her? Been playing the field too much?"
"No I haven't been with anyone else. It didn't used to be a problem but I'm starting to realise some things and it's causing issues. Look, can you just sell me the potion?"
"I'm sorry Potter but it is my duty to know the intentions behind every sale" he lied. "Surely you don't think I am actually interested in your love life?"
"Well, no" he admitted. "Ok, so I need a potion to get it up because I have to propose and afterwards, she'll be expecting to have sex. Surely you don't need to know more than that?"
Severus felt like he'd been hit by the world's largest giant: Potter was getting engaged? It had been expected of course but he didn't seem to even want to do it. How could Severus let him get engaged when he didn't even want to? He should stop him, shouldn't he? No, he couldn't. Because then he might realise that…
"Forget it Snape. My money obviously isn't worth as much as my misery to you. Thanks for nothing."
Severus handed him the appropriate potion and said nothing.
"Thanks. How much?"
"Consider it an engagement present" he said coldly.
"Thank you Snape." Potter stared at him briefly and curiously before leaving.
As soon as the door closed to its hinges, curses flew around the shop, smashing any potions bottle or vial that it touched and smothering Severus with fumes. He didn't care; he didn't even choke. Breaking anything in sight was the only thing that made sense to him right now, besides murdering the Weasley girl for…
"Mr Snape! What are you doing? Stop!" Severus ignored him and instead threw a curse in his direction. Nathaniel ducked.
"Expelliarmus!" he cried, reaching forward to catch Severus' wand as it left his hand. The older wizard fell to the floor, expressionless but far from emotionless.
"Mr Snape, what happened? What's wrong?" He kept his distance from the man, not sure how to deal with him when he was so upset.
"I'm fine. Just leave."
"I'm not leaving you sir. I'm your friend and I want to help."
"There's nothing you can do."
"I can help you clear up this mess for a start."
"Fine. Help clear up and then leave."
"You didn't tell him, did you?" he said knowingly.
"Tell what to whom?" he asked flabbergasted.
"You didn't tell him that you love him, did you?" Nathaniel admired his own bravery slightly and prepared himself to be shouted at.
"Who the devil are you talking about Nathaniel?"
"Harry Potter. I told you to tell him and you didn't."
"What on Earth would make you think that I could feel anything for the saviour of the planet?" he spat in anger but he wasn't angry at Nathaniel; he was angry at himself. Feeling braver still, Nathaniel sat himself next to his boss but was careful not to look at him; he knew that Severus wouldn't take kindly to eye contact at this conversation.
"None of that matters Mr Snape. What was he here for?"
"Oh…I can see why you're upset…"
"I AM NOT UPSET!"
"Ok, sorry, my mistake."
Severus sighed at himself; his pathetic attempts at lying and the pure fact that he had become what he loathed the most: a heart-broken old fool.
"He's proposing. He needs the potion for after."
"I'm sorry that he's getting engaged."
"Did he tell you why he needed the potion?"
"Said he couldn't get it up for her. Said he has realised some things and now there are problems."
"Didn't you think to ask more?"
"I don't care."
"Mr Snape, you care more about things than you let on, especially him. He could be making a big mistake with this engagement and you're just going to let him?"
"It's not my business."
"No but you want it to be. Leave me to clear this up and you go find him. Go to his house and speak to him."
Nathaniel stood up, towering over Severus.
"Look, if you don't go right now, I'm not going to work tomorrow and I'm going to leave you here on your own to deal with all the Valentine's Day crap." Severus hesitated, not knowing what to say in response. Nathaniel was a good man and he knew that he was trying to help him. Perhaps he should humour him.
"Ok. I'll go." He stood up and composed himself.
"Thank you sir."
"Thank you Nathaniel."
"That's what I'm here for sir." Severus walked to the door and went to leave.
"Yes Mr Snape."
"If you tell anyone anything about this, I will make sure you can't ever speak again."
"Yes sir" he laughed as he beckoned the man out of the door. Severus couldn't remember anyone ever laughing at one of his threats but he took it as a good sign and left for Harry's house.
It was bitter and cold. Severus didn't know if he was thinking about the weather or himself but either way, the description fit perfectly. He sat on a bench not far from Harry's home in the quietest muggle part of London. The last he heard, his slag of a girlfriend hadn't moved in yet and was still living with the rest of the family. He watched him through the bedroom window, opening and closing a small box repeatedly: the engagement ring. Severus contemplated apparating inside and throwing the damn thing out of the window but it just wasn't his style. None of it was really. He made it to the doorstep, his legs threatening to give way from the nerves and the cold combined. He wasn't young anymore. He had reached the depressing age of 41. Being 39 had felt much younger, knowing that he was still under the benchmark of 40. Once he turned 40, he was only just old and it was bearable but now, he was in the over 40 category, a perverted old man in love with his 20 year old ex-student.
He fled. He ran as fast as his old, crippling legs would take him before Potter saw him there, with his heart on his sleeve, ready to burst into nothing at the rejection. It wasn't worth it. He found a shaded and empty area and apparated away from that place, from the situation and from that man. He only wished he could apparate away from his own mind and more specifically the abundance of the man-who-lived. He went straight for the firewhiskey and swallowed his self-pity and his miserable excuse for a life. The sensation set him on fire and he sat there, on the dining room chair, holding it like a baby holds its bottle, as if his very existence depended on it. The liquid went down quickly and within half an hour, the alcohol had poisoned his system. He wasn't drunk, just intoxicated enough to feel a little bit less pain; that was enough. Severus put the rest of the bottle away in his cupboard and sighed, ready to sit himself down with a book to take him to another world.
However, before he could even get comfortable with his book in hand, there was a knock at the door and he inwardly cursed the universe for not allowing him to be miserable in peace. He got to the door, half-expecting it to be Nathaniel asking how his romantic gesture had gone. It wasn't.
"Can I come in?"
"I'm sure that you're physically able, yes."
"May I come in?" he continued, unconcerned.
"I can't think of any genuine reason to refuse you" Severus responded as he allowed him access. Harry took advantage and walked into the house, sitting himself down on the sofa.
"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be proposing?"
"I don't know."
"You don't know why you're here?"
"No. I know that. I don't know if I should be proposing."
"And why not?" He sat himself on the same sofa but as far away from the other man as he could manage without being too obvious about it.
"Didn't I make it clear enough in the shop?"
"Potter, I have known you for many years and not once have you ever made anything clear."
"I don't love her and I don't want to be with her but I have to."
"Why the hell would you have to be with someone Potter? You're making no sense!"
"If I ended it now, the whole family would hate me and I'm so close to them all. I can't lose an entire family and upset everyone just because I don't love someone."
"If they are family as you call them then you won't lose them."
"You think Ron will want to talk to me if I break his sister's heart?" Harry was starting to get upset and Severus had no comforting words to offer. What was he supposed to say to him? Tell him to get over himself? Tell him to leave her? Tell him to…
"What should I do Snape?"
"Do what you need to do for yourself. There is no point living a lie."
"Even if I ended it, I'd have to live a lie. This is so fucked up." Harry put his head in his hands; Severus wasn't sure if he was ashamed or hiding.
"Why would you have to live a lie if you broke up with her?" he asked, genuinely confused.
"Because I can't be what people expect me to be. I'm supposed to be this stupid fucking hero and get the girl, marry her and have kids and I don't FUCKING WANT TO!"
"Don't shout in my house Potter, there's really no need. I can hear you. I am going to ask you one last time to explain CLEARLY what you mean and if you fail, you're going to get out of my house." Severus felt bad about the way he was speaking to the man but there was not a lot else that he could do to get him to explain himself. Harry mumbled something in response to Severus.
"Would you call that clear Potter?"
"I'M GAY! You can laugh at me now! Go on, have a laugh. The saviour is bent. HA FUCKING HA!"
Severus was in shock; he had never expected such an outburst and he had most certainly not anticipated that Harry Potter might be gay. Surely he wouldn't…
"Why aren't you laughing?" His voice was calmer; the outburst had clearly been a long time coming and now he'd said it, he felt the tiniest part of the weight lift from his chest.
"Because Potter, I don't really find people's sexualities amusing and if you were actually telling some kind of twisted joke, it wasn't very funny."
Harry looked up at the man in front of him with mixed emotions: he was grateful that he hadn't laughed and that he'd listened but worried about what he might say next.
"You're right. It's not funny but I'm sure plenty of people would disagree."
"I don't mean to sound patronising but you are certain, aren't you?"
"Is there- someone else?" His heart stopped and he almost wished he hadn't asked; he wanted to know but could he really deal with the answer? Of course there had to be someone: people didn't just realise they were gay without an attraction to someone.
"No- well yes but not in the way you think. I haven't cheated. I just know that I have feelings for someone."
"Why are you telling me this Potter?"
"Everyone else I'm friends with is friends with Ginny too and you're the only one I can talk to."
"I can understand that. Potter…"
"Can you call me Harry?" he requested, "please?"
"Harry" it felt weird on his tongue but not in an unpleasant way, "I can't tell you what to do because only you know what is best for you but don't consider everyone else. Consider yourself and yourself only, do you understand?"
"Yes Severus. Is it ok if I call you that?"
"I don't think surnames are appropriate anymore."
"It's getting late and I've bothered you enough. I should go." Both men stood and went for the door, stopping once they had reached it. Harry opened it, stepping out into the cold of the night.
"Thank you Severus" he said genuinely, offering his hand, which Severus shook. Before he could respond, Harry had let go of his hand and entangled it in his hair, pulling him forwards and forcing his lips onto his mouth. The older man did not hold the willpower to resist and instead pulled him closer, dropping his guard and letting Harry possess his mouth. Tongues soon battled for dominance and Severus won, as he pulled Harry back inside and pushed him up against the closed door. He held on tightly to any part of the green-eyed man he could reach, not letting him go even if he wanted him to.
"So much better" Harry sighed into him. Severus smirked and dragged him back to the sofa, ripping off the buttons of his shirt as they went. They popped in all different directions in the room, hitting various objects. Severus pulled the rest of the shirt from Harry's shoulders and tore himself away from his lips to look down at the newly revealed torso. The years spent thinking about what it might look like had not prepared him for this: he had matured well for his age and it showed; his muscles were toned but not bulky and his nipples were a dirty brown. He pushed the smaller man onto the sofa and immediately began assaulting the tempting buds, earning himself some quiet moans from the man underneath him. He was soon pulled back up to be enticed into another passionate kiss, which was much less rushed. He savoured the moment. He was finally kissing Harry Potter; he found himself trying to remember his technique; his taste and above all the sensation.
Severus wanted more: he wanted to touch; to claim. As if he'd read his mind, Harry began undressing him with some assistance for the many buttons on his shirt. Severus tried to conceal his body as best as he could but it was difficult in their current position; Harry had a view of everything but he didn't seem to care about the aging skin; the scars or the other overwhelmingly ugly aspects of his body. In fact, the man kissed all over his chest and torso, releasing a moan from somewhere deep inside. Severus was careful to take time feeling every part of Harry's exposed body before deciding that he needed to see and touch more. He got off the man and pulled his trousers down effortlessly; his own soon followed. His erection threatened to embarrass him as it strained against his boxers, sensing it was close to the object of Severus' desires. The embarrassment soon disappeared once he laid eyes on Harry's own engorged cock, which was ready to burst from his underwear.
The kissing resumed, sometimes hot and heavy; other times soft and caring. There was no consistency; Severus didn't know how to act with the one that he loved; he was turned on enough to be rough but his emotions took over and made him act slowly. It was for this reason that a good five minutes passed before he even realised that the two of them were still wearing their boxers. He didn't want to just take them off like he would anyone else; he didn't want to assume that he had this power over Harry. He loved him and he wanted to do this properly.
"May I?" he asked, his voice calm despite his genuine nervousness. He held one finger underneath the trim of Harry's boxers, ready to react depending on Harry's response. Green eyes locked onto black and a nod was exchanged. Excitement pounding through him, Severus slowly pulled down the white boxers, pausing only when Harry's full length was released. He didn't bother removing the underwear altogether and instead took his opportunity; he claimed the hard cock in front of him with his mouth, taking it as far in as possible.
"FUUUCK! Severus! Oh god!" The words alone were enough to excite Severus; the moans afterwards were an added bonus. He continued giving Harry's arousal his full attention, taking in as much as possible before slowly slipping it back out again with a small pop. He did this several times before Harry's blabbering became comprehensible enough to understand that he wanted Severus to go faster. Of course he obliged. In that moment, Severus would have quite literally done anything that Harry had asked; he was grateful just to be able to be with him. He chose a faster pace but the same technique, his head bobbing up and down on Harry's cock, showing how much more pleasurable it could be with him rather than her.
"Stop! Please! Stop!" Severus pulled off immediately, worried that he was doing something wrong.
"I want to see you. Please." A trademark smirk in place, Severus removed the offensive piece of clothing preventing Harry from seeing him fully. Once the boxers reached the floor, Severus chose to remove Harry's from halfway down his leg. He sat himself next to the younger man and pulled him on top so that he was straddling him. Severus ground upwards, creating friction between their erections; moans escaped both of their mouths, Severus' much more restrained than Harry's. They built up a rhythm of friction as they repeatedly pushed against one another, the pleasure almost too much to bear.
Before long, Severus was on top of Harry, laid down on the sofa, summoning the lubricant from upstairs. The green-eyed man showed a slight hesitation once he realised Severus' intentions.
"Urm- I haven't…I can't…I don't know…"
"Do you want to?"
"Yes…but I haven't before."
"I know. It'll be ok. I'll stop if you tell me. Do you trust me?"
"Of course." Harry's anxiety seemed to disappear slightly but Severus' built up more; he couldn't remember how to be gentle with someone. He had only ever had sex for the pleasure, making it rough but accurate; how was he supposed to change to adapt to a virgin? He would have to, he told himself. He didn't want to hurt the man that he loved; he wanted him to remember it as something pleasurable, not painful. He could do this; he would do it for Harry.
Severus began lubricating his fingers, ignoring the throbbing feeling in his cock. He pressed the tip of his finger inside Harry's opening and watched as a confused expression took over his face. He didn't seem to be in pain and so Severus wiggled the digit a bit and pushed in slightly further. Harry looked uncomfortable.
"Is everything ok?" Severus asked him.
"It feels strange."
"It will do but it will be fine. It may burn a little but it fades." Harry nodded his consent and Severus entered the finger fully inside him. The muscles around Severus' finger contracted and tightened, stopping him from moving. He sat patiently, waiting for Harry to adjust to the feel of having something inside him for the first time. He smiled reassuringly at him, as the man relaxed, allowing him to move the finger in and out a few times. He soon became used to the feel of it and Severus attempted to add another lubricated finger.
Severus immediately withdrew both fingers from the entrance and cursed his impatient erection, as it stood to attention. He apologised to Harry and kissed down his thighs, relaxing him once more. The older man licked the ring of muscles and swirled his tongue around it teasingly.
Severus smiled and continued his actions, distracting Harry enough to be able to slip one finger back inside him; his tongue soon joined it and Harry moaned out in pleasure rather than pain. He continued the preparation, eventually adding a second finger when Harry appeared comfortable. He knew it must burn and so he took it slowly, until the muscles around him relaxed and Harry was more accepting. Adding the third and fourth fingers were much more challenging but with a lot of lube, trust and comforting words, Severus was finally moving four fingers in and out of Harry.
Once he could tell that the four digits were no longer hurting, he withdrew them and coated his aching cock in lubricant. He moaned slightly as he slid his hand down the shaft: his member had waited far too long to be inside Harry's body. Green eyes filled with concern melted Severus' heart; he almost stopped what he was doing.
"It's ok. I'm ready. Be careful with me please."
"Of course I will. I'd never hurt you." He kissed the man on the lips to prove that he meant it and continued the kiss, as he opened up the entrance. More nervous than he'd ever been, Severus pushed the tip inside Harry and waited for the pain to subside. The look on Harry's face told him that it wouldn't be any time soon and although he said nothing, he was clearly burning quite a bit. Severus began kissing his neck gently, calming him but not quite taking the pain away.
"Do you want to stop?"
"No. Just wish it would get better quicker."
"It will be amazing soon. I promise." He kissed Harry's head and pushed in slightly further.
"Just go all the way."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Just stay still once you're in." Severus complied with Harry's wishes and bit back the moan of pleasure that threatened to escape him once he heard Harry's painful cry.
"It's ok. Don't worry." For someone that hadn't ever had gentle or caring sex, Severus was surprising himself with how well he was doing. Despite the fact that his cock told him to drive in and out, he ignored it and looked after his man. He supposed love really did make a difference.
"Move" said Harry, a little stiff but more relaxed nonetheless. Severus pulled in and out a few times until Harry had become used to the movements involved. Once the painful faces and noises had disappeared, Severus plunged back in and hit Harry's prostate hard for the first time.
"AHHH! Do that again!" he begged. Severus smiled, pulled back out and slammed back down hard.
"More! Please more!" It was amazing. More amazing than Severus had imagined; the muscles around him were so tight, creating maximum pleasure and Harry was so responsive to pleasure. He claimed the man's lips once more and only stopped when Harry's pleasure-filled cries interrupted him. Deciding Harry couldn't maintain a kiss for too long, Severus concentrated on kissing the man's neck and shoulders instead, which seemed to be appreciated. As the pace picked up, Severus began panting and moaning in Harry's ear; he never showed his pleasure during sex but he couldn't help himself around Harry. This was the most pleasure he'd ever had.
"Severus, I need to stop. I'm too close already." Harry looked so embarrassed about what he'd had to admit to but Severus smiled down at him.
"Let me give you a hand." He sat up slightly, still inside Harry and grasped his erection hard. He tugged on it with a tight grip and matched the rhythm of his thrusts that still hit Harry's prostate each time.
"Oh God! Severus! Pleeeease! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SEVERUS!" Harry screamed as his cock gave in and spurted semen all over Severus' hand, leaving some to drip down onto his own stomach. It had by far been the best orgasm that he'd ever had; there was definitely no need to question his sexuality anymore.
Happy with himself, Severus continued thrusting inside the willing body underneath him, enjoying the feel of the tight hole contracting against his hardness. He moaned and groaned loudly, pushing himself in and out of his loved one, kissing him every chance he got. Harry lay back in awe, finding it difficult to come down from his high when he was still being pleasured; each hit to his prostate was like an electric shock of desire and he wanted more. Surprising himself, he soon became hard again at the feel of Severus inside him, knowing that he was finally having sex with a man and the one that he'd desired nonetheless.
"What are you doing to me?" he asked, looking down at his fully erect cock. Severus simply smirked and grabbed hold of the cum-soaked penis, stroking it back in time with his thrusts once more. Harry's moans became louder and louder until they erupted into screams of joy; Severus was certain that they weren't pleasing the old lady that lived next door but he couldn't have cared less. He was with Harry. The world could know for all he cared. He grunted loudly into Harry's ear as he got closer, determined to bring Harry to another climax before he released. Several hard thrusts and tugs later, Harry screamed out in unimaginable pleasure and came hard enough to spray some over Severus' torso. Two thrusts later, Severus emptied himself inside the man.
"Harry! AHH!" he cried as the seed flowed inside the younger man. He pulled out; collapsing on the sofa next to Harry, wishing that he'd discovered this kind of sex earlier in life. He'd had the best orgasm of his life and all because he was with the one he loved.
"That was so amazing!" Harry panted.
"Definitely" was all Severus could muster. He claimed Harry's lips in a slow, loving kiss.
"Absolutely" replied Harry.
"What WAS that?"
"Your Valentine's day present" Harry teased, noticing it was after midnight.
"I hate Valentine's Day" he laughed.
They were interrupted by a ringing noise coming from somewhere near them.
"What's that?" he asked Harry sleepily.
"My phone. SHIT my phone!" He jumped up to search for it, giving Severus the perfect view of his backside, which had the smallest trail of Severus' cum escaping it. It made Severus smile. After all this time, he had finally claimed the man he loved; he felt complete; he felt happy. Nathaniel was right: he should have told him how he felt earlier. Actually saying that, he hadn't told him how he felt yet; he needed to do that. He needed to tell Harry Potter that he loved him.
"Hello?" said Harry once he'd found the phone.
"I'm not doing anything."
"No I'm just at home."
"Yeah of course I can."
"I love you too. See you soon."
Harry spelled his clothes back on, before Severus could say a word, seemingly forgetting the broken buttons.
"I'm sorry I've got to go" he told Severus. There was no response and the door soon closed with a bang, leaving Severus alone, naked, and spent with his clothes surrounding him.
"That's why" he said in answer to Harry's earlier question.