Gilbert and I walked out of the shop together and I walked comfortably close to him; it was nice to feel the heat from his body warming my side.
I watched him walk with happy unclouded eyes and I was glad I was able to do this with him; it was a side I didn't get to see of Gilbert often, a happier side; less false. We passed an alleyway and a few other shops before our sunshine was dimmed.
Four guys, some looked older than us, and some around the same age blocked out pathway. They looked fairly normal, but the atmosphere they emitted made Gilbert grip my hand; I felt apprehension settle into my skin.
"You think we are going to let you pass when you are causing such a public disturbance?" One of the boys asked incredulously, like he was honestly appalled by our lack of respect for the public.
I saw Gilbert look around for anyone who might be able to intervene, but women guided children hurriedly away and anyone else that walked by simply lowered their eyes and walked quickly away.
Gilbert blinked then scowled, I could almost see the false persona he wore around school slip onto his face and settle into his posture.
"And you lot are going to stop us? I don't fucking think so." Gilbert scoffed and squeezed my hand, pulling me forward so we could go around the men but they moved to block us once again, sneers making their cheeks rise and their eyes look beady and suspicious.
"I am going to tell you one more time." The man stepped forward menacingly "get out of here or we will force you to leave, got it?"
Gilbert pulled me forward again lightly and I could see the stress in his eyes as they darted around the street. One of the men gripped Gilbert's shoulder and shoved him back before he could pass him and practically bared his teeth.
Gilbert's brow crumpled into a fierce line and I saw his jaw work, he let go of my hand and stepped forward. He might have been taller than most of the boys there, but he was thinner and more lanky than them, making him look less impressive in comparison, but the hatred that flashed in his eyes was enough to make some of the men look uneasy.
"You are going to let us fucking pass or I swear to god I will make sure you shitbags regret the very second you stopped walking down this sidewalk." He snarled ferociously and leaned in towards the man's face, his eyes looked haunted and cruel. This is the Gilbert I had seen before, the one who glared and scowled at school, adding insulting remarks when it was unnecessary. I didn't like that this side could be pulled up so easily, and I wondered what made Gilbert look as if he were about to burst into tears as the men turned away and Gilbert turned back to me.
He breathed through his nose for a minute before blinking away the hard look in his eye and forcing his eyebrows into a carefree position.
"I am sorry you had to see tha-" The middle of his sentence was cut off when he whirled around and saw the fist of one of the men flying at his face. He quickly pushed me out of the way, causing my feet to catch on each other and I fell to the ground with a crash, I could feel the barely healed scabs re-open and start spilling blood onto the cement but I was too focused on what was happening in front of me.
Gilbert took the first punch that was swung while pushing me out of the way, which landed on his cheek and made his head whip around. I hoped it wouldn't leave a very dark bruise on him.
Gilbert dodged the next thrown punch and caught the arm of his attacker, pulling him down and hitting him on the back of the neck hard, the man fell to the pavement. His friends were long gone, as the man lay face down on the pavement I noticed Gilbert approaching me with a worried look in his eyes.
"You are bleeding." He whispered. "I am sorry, I did this to you."
I shook my head frantically and gripped his hands, getting a small amount of blood on them.
"You didn't mean to." I touched his cheek and he grinned crookedly. "I'm fine, you on the other hand-" he brought my arm up with soft hands and rolled up my sleeves his eyes wideneing when he saw the hand shaped bruises that marred the skin and thin cuts spread out erratically. "I would be more worried about." He finished in a whisper, his eyes taking in the damage in horrified silence.
I ripped my hand away from him with wide eyes, panic invading my thoughts. Would he think of me if he knew the truth? Tears filled my eyes and I stood up despite my straining legs, which now seemed to weigh so much. Tears started running down my cheeks without my noticing and I walked quickly away to the bus stop with my head down.
Gilbert watched me go with wide eyes, his hands still outreached towards my injured arm.
"I am sorry." He called and in a quick motion gripped his hair and tugged on the silver locks, his eyes now staring blankly at the pavement.
I watched the broken pieces of my phone on the floor, as tears dripped down my face. My throat closed and burned and I gasped for breath.
Letting out a strangled sob I ran to the window and slammed it shut, locking it for the first time in many nights and drawing the curtains.
I bit my lip hard and made myself walk from the light and cloak myself in darkness. I let my body hit the wall and slide to the ground as I kept myself from screaming out my agony.
I had never wanted this to happen; I didn't know what to do anymore.
The whisper came harshly from outside the window and I saw Gilbert's face through the clear glass, but he couldn't see me in the darkness of my room.
The moonlight illuminated Gilbert's cheekbones, making his look ghostly and sad, so different from the fiery person I knew him to be.
"Matthew stop hiding from me!"
I stayed silent but my heart broke at his tortured voice, I was hurting him. I was hurting him.
"Goddamnit!" Tears broke out from Gilbert's eyes and rolled down his cheeks painstakingly slowly, "I can't- Please!" I gasped for air and he slammed his hand down on the glass making it shudder but it held beneath the weight of his hand.
He closed his eyes tightly and brought his other hand to his heart where it was curled into a shaking fist, he sucked in a breath and looked to the moon before throwing the fist back and smashing it into the window with an ear splitting crash.
I watched in horror as Gilbert's hand immediately started bleeding from the shards of glass and he cried out in pain before biting his lip and breaking the window more before throwing himself inside my room to the floor.
I was too stunned to move, I was wheezing with the force of my crying and the tears had never stopped rolling down my cheeks. I couldn't help but hear the yelp of pain Gilbert had let free when he broke the window. It was my fault.
Gilbert immediately found me in the corner I was curled into. He was holding his bloody fist to his abdomen and his breathing was also labored, his shirt was quickly staining red.
He crouched down in front of me and ran his un-bloodied, shaking hand down my face. He touched a bruise I had received with a horribly pained expression and he curled his hand under my chin, bringing me closer before he whispered, "don't you ever run away from me again." Before he kissed me square on the mouth.
The kiss was nothing like I had imagined, it was hard and passionate and it made the hairs on my arms stand up as my whole body tingled with an electricity only Gilbert could ignite. His mouth moved against mine in a beautiful way and I couldn't help but close my eyes in the feeling of it. Every fibre of my being was on fire and all I could think was it was so right.
Gilbert pulled away with a gasp and he squeezed his eyes shut.
"I- uh- I am sorry Matthew." He sucked in a breath and looked at the shattered glass strewn around on the floor.
"Fuck, I didn't-" His eyes filled with tears again and he looked at me for the first time.
"I didn't want this to happen." He whispered, "I didn't want to find a person I would do anything for, not again." He raised his bloody hand and grimaced at me before lowering it.
"I would do anything for you Matthew."
Gilbert threw himself out of the window and whipped down the tree, leaving blood stained branches in his wake and I felt my gut clench, nausea made me clench my teeth and I threw myself towards the window, tripping over my feet in my haste.
"Gilbert!" I screamed and he stopped a few feet away from my house. I could see his clenched hands, one stained and dripping red blood, one pale white. His huge gasps made his tee shirt expand and let me see the outline of the shoulder blades, he turned back around and looked at me in the window, everything went silent.
A sob ripped it's way through my burning throat and nausea burned my stomach but I thrust myself out the window, grabbing hold of the branches like I had done before.
When Gilbert saw me start to climb down he raced back, though was still a few feet away from where I was descending.
I dropped to the ground and my legs buckled under my weight, my vision blacked for a few seconds before dotting into focus again and I steadied myself on the tree, breathing hard.
I looked up and felt my hair fall around my shoulders. I walked forward enough that I could see the moon reflecting Gilbert's eyes. I felt his kiss burn on my lips again and I looked him in the eyes, all weakness gone.
"I am going to die Gilbert." I said quietly and his eyes lost focus for a few seconds before dimming and refocusing.
"Okay." He said simply and I stared at him in shock and anger.
"Okay." I repeated and he looked me in the eyes without emotion. "That is all you have to say?! Okay?!" I sucked in a breath through my teeth as I bared them at him in anger, in pure disgust.
Gilbert blinked in stupid confusion and I felt tears sting my eyes, horrible accusatory tears.
"Okay. Okay, then what the fuck are you doing living with that bitch?" Gilbert's chest heaved with a large breath and his eyes brightened.
"You are dying, so lets fucking do something to make it worth it in the end huh? Lets make your life a little bit more like a life than what you have been living."
I stared at him and his red eyes glinted in a fierce challenge.
"Or are you scared?"
The words struck me like a hammer and I stepped back from the blow, they seemed to echo inside me and goosebumps broke out on my skin. No way was I scared. After all I had lived through I had no right, no reason to be frightened, to be unnerved by the thought of living a little. He didn't know what he was talking about when he was saying I was scared; didn't he know me at all?
"No fucking way am I scared." I growled and Gilbert's eyes danced with mischievous delight.
"Then you will go with me then?" He asked and I finally understood what he was doing. He had bated me into wanting to go with him and the ache to be with him that had begun since the first day he had thought something more of me was still as strong as ever.
Gilbert, in fact, knew me very well.
"You bet your ass we are going."
Gilbert smiled wickedly and took off running towards the tree under my window. He grabbed two branches and I watched in awe as his muscles flexed and he propelled himself into the tree, grabbing branches naturally and swiftly. He was at my window in seconds.
He glanced at me then smiled widely before beckoning for me to follow him and he disappeared into my room.
I raced into the house and didn't even stop to look around before I hurried up the steps and into the hallway. I stared at my door, the only thing separating me from Gilbert. I stopped, took a breath; and then practically broke the fucking thing down.
Gilbert looked up with a grin as I entered and held up my backpack, now stuffed with clothes.
"Grab anything valuable to you, do you know where your mom keeps the pills?" I hurried to do as he had instructed and gathered things around my room that meant anything to me, (which was an unsurprisingly little amount) and shook my head.
"I have no idea where she keeps them, we are going to have to find them before she gets home and realizes I am gone."
"How much time do we have?" He asked, and threw the clothing stuffed bag at the ground near my feet.
I glanced at the clock and grimaced. "Twenty minutes give or take."
He cursed under his breath and stalked to the door. "We need to find your medicine now, can you come with me or is there anything else you need to grab?"
I looked around my slightly more vacant room and smiled at how final everything looked.
"Lets go." I said and walked out the door with him following closely behind me.
I led Gilbert down the stairs and watched as he took in the messy atmosphere with a calm gaze, his demeanor didn't shift into disgust or horror.
I tried not to look at the trash that littered the floor, so I watched his face, which was impassive and cool as ever.
"Where does she usually go to get your pills when you get home?" He asked, and I remembered my mother walking into the kitchen with her bloodstained shoes to get my medicine.
"The kitchen I think." I responded, and he gripped my hand and tugged me into the kitchen before I could say another word.
He immediately began rummaging around in the mess of rotting news papers and plates with half eaten food on them then gestured for me to help when he saw me watching him work.
"How much time do we have?" He mumbled and I glanced at the watch on his wrist, we didn't have a clock.
I told him we had thirteen minutes left and he frowned in worry. "We have to hurry." He almost whispered and my stomach was suddenly tied into knots of insecurity. What were we going to do once we left? How were we going to pay for ourselves?
"Gilbert." I called and he ignored me in favour of his search for my pills. "Gilbert!" I exclaimed and he jumped and spun around to look at me with wide eyes.
"What?" He gasped
"What are we going to do once we get out?" I rasped in panic and he shook his head quickly before beginning his search again.
"I have a plan Birdie, it is okay." He said before straightening with a triumphant yelp. "I found it!"
I rushed over to look at the large bottle that held an uncountable amount of pills within it and immediately recognized the shape and colour of the pills I had been taking for most of my life.
"That's them!" I exclaimed and raced to stuff the bottle of pills into the already packed full bags.
Gilbert was waiting by the door with a wide smile and as I approached he opened the door, giving me a look at freedom, for the first time, there was no promise that I had to come back to this life, he grabbed my hand and tugged me through.
Hey guys, If you have been reading The Assignment, I am really sorry I haven't updated in such a long time, I have been wanting to edit HPTCR for a while now and I had this story to write for so it probably won't be until I can finish editing HPTCR that I will update for that story again!
Okay next announcement! I AM UPLOADING THE FIRST CHAPTER EDIT OF HPTCR IF YOU HAVE READ IT IT ISN'T ANYTHING MAJOR, READ IT IF YOU WANT I DON'T CARE.
Yay! Tell me what you think! I really like this chapter and want to know what you think about it. I am usually really great at responding to PMs but sometimes I forget and if you were one of the ones that are forgotten, please revew again or PM me and I will get right on that! Follow me on tumblr if you wish at SerenityMaSogni and also on facebook on which I can answer questions.
I love you all! -Serenity