Broken One Too Many Times
Warnings: implied Suicide, implied rape, language, mentions of abuse and bullying.
"How about it, Weasley?"
Dominique looked blankly at the sixth year Slytherin, Jackel, sat in front of her as if she was actually considering saying no to him. She smiled falsely, nodding slightly to avoid attracting the attention of her Gryffindor cousin Molly and her gang, the Harpies, from across the Potions classroom. Jackel turned back to his friend and started bragging loud enough for the whole class but Slughorn to hear.
Of course, it wouldn't work trying to keep it from Molly because Dom never got lucky. Not since her mum packed up and left and her Dad started bringing that women back to the house. It was bad enough that Victoire never came home any longer and she had to make sure that Louis, who was still only a second year, ate during the summer. There was that and then he turned up. The man who haunted Dominique's dreams, haunted her mind, turned her into something she'd never wanted to be.
It was Molly's voice that whispered to her from the desk over and she willed herself to ignore her. Dominique's ears burned, and she let her ginger fringe fall across her face as she tried to dechipher the theory on page 57 of her text book. Her mind came back to Jason, her Dad's lawyer for his and Mum's court case. The way he looked at her and when her father wasn't looking, the way he touched her made her sick. And then, when he came back, when he knew Dominique's Dad wasn't in the house.
She stood abruptly, running from the classroom towards the nearest bathroom she forced herself to throw up into the toilet until there wasn't anything left in her stomach.
Dominique leant over the toilet for a moment longer dry-heaving before she pushed herself away and stood up wobbly heading back towards the sink. She splashed her face with icy cold water. None of it was helping get rid of the image of Jason, him clawing at her clothes, at her skin as he viciously raped her. She wanted to scream.
She balled her hands into fists, smashing them into the mirror until her reflection was cracked and her hands were bleeding. For a second the pain helped her to forget him as she ran her hands under the water, the blood slowly washing away as she watched streams of red circle beneath her until the water ran clear. Shakily she reached for the tap and shut it off.
Dominique froze; Potions must have finished. She took a deep breath and turned to her cousin and her Harpies, Lauren and Charlotte.
"Get out of my way," Dom snapped trying to walk past them, Molly laughed shoving her backwards and sneering in distaste.
"Do you really think you can get past me you dirty whore," she questioned, "Why are you in such a hurry anyway; it's not like Jackel is gonna care what you look like. He just wants a quick shag so he can say he's slept with a part-Veela."
Dominique tried to block out her words, but no matter how hard she tried it wouldn't work.
"It really is none of your fucking business."
"There's something I've always wanted to ask," Molly sneered.
"Is there?" Dominique asked, "Polite conversation is not something you usually do."
Molly lunged forward, grabbing the collar of Dominique's shirt and pushing her cousin backwards so her head was against the broken mirror and the sink dug into the base of her spine. Dominique sucked in a breath, her eyes dropping to the floor to avoid any eye contact with her vicious cousin.
"Listen, you pathetic slut," Molly hissed, "Nobody cares what you think or what your fucking opinions are, okay?"
Dominique shrunk backwards into herself even more, terrified of her own cousin while Molly's friends sniggered behind her like she was actually doing something vaguely amusing. Except Dominique knew that their laughter was at her expense. She let her shoulders slump in defeat and her body stopped fighting against Molly, waiting for her question.
To Dominique's surprise she lent forward, her lips up against her ear and her breathing slow.
"Why do you even bother coming this far?" She whispered, "Why didn't you give up being a pathetic Hufflepuff waste of space four years ago?"
Molly let go and Dominique's knees slammed into the cold hard stone of the bathroom floor, Molly and the Harpies laugher echoing around her, reverberating in her ears. She blinked back tears as her cousin sneered slightly. Dominique felt pathetic.
She had let a man that her father trusted get away with raping her several times and her solution was to get with the whole male population of Hogwarts?! It was stupid, but then it felt so different. Being with any guy that made her forget that just for a second that he'd held her down, told her he'd kill her if she screamed or told a soul, not given a shit as the tears slid down her face while he'd -
Dominique drew her knees up to her chest, squeezed her eyes shut and covered her ears with her hands.
"You're pathetic and a dirty whore, Dommy," Molly practically snarled the last word before turning to the Harpies, "Let's get out of here, I'm fucking sick of the sight of her."
Dominique gripped at the short tuffs of ginger hair above her ears, trying to find something, anything happy to hold on to, but she couldn't, there was nothing. She was left in silence, tears staining her face and her shoulders shaking.
After a long moment, Dominique collected herself before standing. Her eyes glazed over, her only thought was to get clean and wash away everything. Particularly him. Her feet carried her forward from the bathroom and up into the entrance hall above. She kept her head down, as always, not that she passed that many people anyway. No one would have wanted to talk to her either. What was she to everyone else?
A pathetic, dirty sex toy, and that was all there was to it.
Victoire had left them, she'd lived with Teddy briefly and then they broke up and she'd gone back to France. She'd followed their Mother back there after their Dad cheated on her. Then that women that their Dad was fucking started coming to the house and Mum started fighting for guardianship over them. All from France three years after she'd left without any communication with them in between.
Since then Dominique had looked after Louis, fed him, and made sure he had all his Hogwarts stuff. Yet alongside that she'd dealt with a torrent of bullying, abuse and their Dad's lawyer sexually assaulting her every time Bill's back was turned.
What was the point of carrying on when things were only getting worse and worse? It was just evil after evil.
Dominique felt like she was half-floating, half-running to the edge of the Forbidden Forest. As she made her way, she glimpsed across at the North side of the lake, where the Forbidden Forest met the cold depths of the Great Lake.
The only thought passing her mind was washing away everything, trying to get rid of his touch. Covering it with others didn't really work, not in long term anyway, Dominique needed something long-term, something permanent.
She entered the forbidden forest without delay, pushing through the thick woodland. Branches clawed at her skin, but she barely felt it as she stumbled through the undergrowth. Her mind was focused, for once in almost a year, her head was clear from the anxiety she always had felt. The uncertaintity of what or who could be waiting to finally destroy her had been pushed away to the back of her mind.
Finally she came upon the clearing, the winters sun low over the lake, making the surface glimmer like the door to another world. Drawing her wand she clung to the only happy memory she could, one of Louis, Victoire and herself playing together, and cast a barely adequate patronus. Dominique doubted it would reach her sister, but her head sent it on its way anyway. Chucking her wand down on the small pebble enbankment, she kicked her shoes off and stepped forward into the icy cold water in front of her.
The water soon reached up to her knees, yet it wasn't the cold that she felt, it was the numbing pain of her legs. For a second, Dominique stood in blissful ignorance, pushing herself slightly deeper at the thought of not being able feel anything. To be numb sounded like heaven, to not feel his fingers at every waking moment would be -
She could barely explain it. The excitement at the potential loss of everything he'd caused her to feel was just too good to be true.
Of course it was too good, suddenly the numbing disappeared and her mind started retreating back to before. The mighty oaks behind her felt like they were pushing her forward, encompassing all of any happy memories that she'd once upon a time and locking them away in a place she couldn't reach. Dominique stepped forward more until the water was right up to her hips. The feeling of being numb appeared where the icy water touched her skin and she finally felt like it was going. All those awful memories, flooding out of her.
She persisted forward, her body shaking from the cold but the as she waded further out into the lake the water rose higher and higher.
She didn't care.
Dominique plunged head first into the water, swimming further down and down. She couldn't feel her body, she couldn't feel anything except feeling numb. Whilst she concentrated on that, the numbness finally stopped, but instead of the horrific scenes from the past year, her lungs were burning instead.
It didn't matter though, because finally, Dominique was free of her demons.