Disclaimer:
Ace Attorney series belongs to Capcom.

This the first fic i have ever written. Enjoy!


Coffee Withdrawal

The pink-haired nurse looked at the results chart with a frown on her pretty face. She simply couldn't understand why the results were so….extreme. Something was wrong with these numbers. She looked up at her patient with a scrutinizing eye. He was a dark-skinned gentleman who looked way too young for his white hair. And what was up with that visor? And wasn't coffee, and all drinks in general, not allowed in the hospital?

The dark gentleman smiled at her, patiently awaiting her announcement of the physical test results. She frowned at him and asked, "Did you do as you were told and not had anything to eat or drink?"

"I didn't eat a bite. As for drinks, I only drink coffee." The gentleman replied.

The nurse sighed. What part of NO DRINKS did the patients never understand? "I'm sorry, Mr…" she looked up the name, "Mr. Godot, but these test results are incorrect. You're not supposed to eat or drink anything at all. Including coffee."

Godot frowned. No coffee? That would be bad. He was so very dependent on it, after all…

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Madame Nurse. I have a medical condition."

The nurse rolled her eyes. There was no way he was using that excuse. "Mr. Godot, there is no disease on the face of the Earth that has coffee as its medication. So, you cannot, absolutely cannot, drink coffee before this test. We're going to have to repeat this test, and you can't drink coffee before it. Get over your addiction for that long, would you?"

Godot looked aghast…well, as well as it was possible with that visor covering most of his face. The nurse continued, "For the caffeine to completely leave your system, you'll need at least a day without coffee. Keep that in mind as you make your appointment. Good day; the exit is on your right." She opened the door and waited until he walked out before leaving herself and closing the door behind her.

Godot made the appointment for Monday morning. That way, he'd be able to relax at home and hopefully not think about coffee for the weekend.

The week passed by with a few minor troubles (curse that Wright; he won again), and the weekend came upon Godot fast. He relaxed Saturday, watching the Steel Samurai movie while drinking delicious Dark Columbian coffee. And then….

It was Sunday.

Now, it wasn't so bad. He'd already had a plan: stash the coffee away in the closet; lock the closet, and tuck away the key into his Monday suit. He'd stashed away the coffee before he'd gone to bed. So no worries.

Yeah right.

Here's the thing: it takes three mugs of coffee then a cold shower to get Godot out of bed in the morning. So, without coffee, he just stayed in bed with trying to fall asleep again after he woke up the first time. It was a little past noon before he gave up on trying to fall asleep. He dragged himself out of the bed and into the bathroom for his shower. At least, he tried to. It didn't go well.

You see, Godot likes to keep the bathroom door closed, especially after a nasty incident of waking up with a cockroach next to him on the pillow. So when he tried to walk into the bathroom, his mind wasn't awake enough to remember that the door was closed, and he wound up walking right into it. He hit his head and took a moment to rub the pain away and then proceeded to glare accusingly at the door, which was a sad thing to do because the door was doing its best to be a door and was in the same place as it was the night before when its owner closed it. It wasn't its fault that its owner was a complete clutz in the morning. Seriously, it's enough that the guy was a coffee addict, but greeting the poor door with an accusing glare every morning wasn't exactly very nice or welcoming. It's a shame it was a door and thus an inanimate object; otherwise he'd have quit a long time ago.

So, after he had his fill of glaring at the door, Godot started to fumble with the doorknob. On the third try, he got the door open and proceeded to do his morning routine. It went rather well; the only problem he had was that he almost fell asleep in the shower (five times—he counted the bumps of red on his head after the shower..although, one might have been from the door…). After that, he got dressed in dark brown slacks and a green button-up shirt and proceeded into fixing up his room. He was feeling pretty good then; he really thought that he was going to make it through the day.

It's a shame that life hates him, because that's when everything went wrong.

First, Godot had put all the clothes in their proper place. Then he went and threw the dirty clothes inside the laundry room (as usual). Then, he came back to his room to fix the bed when he found it.

It was a coffee bean. A single, inconspicuous coffee bean hidden between the covers; sitting there as a reminder of the simple pleasures of coffee, and how close it was and how enjoyable it was to Godot.

Godot simply stood there and stared. And stared some more. And then stared some more. Then his brain booted up. By the time it did, Godot caught himself bringing the coffee bean to his mouth. He paused his action and started to think. It was just a single coffee bean; it wouldn't hurt, really…but then again, the nurse said that there must be absolutely no caffeine for a whole day…but there wasn't even much caffeine in a single bean….although he had a lot of caffeine in his body…but, but, but, "AAAAUGH!"

Godot yelled and threw the coffee bean out the bedroom window, or, at least, he tried. The window was closed, so the bean simply bounced off the glass and landed at Godot's feet. Godot stared at the bean for a second before he tugged on his hair and ran out of the room screaming like a madman. He ran into the living room and collapsed on the couch.

The couch smelled good. Godot relaxed and closed his eyes to enjoy the smell. It smelled like that dark, delicious Columbian blend—

—Godot opened his eyes in full fear and panic at the need-coffee pang that just hit him. He got up off the couch with such speed as though he'd hugged a poisonous snake and ran into the laundry room.

Ah…the laundry room. Thankfully, that room didn't smell like coffee…although it did smell pretty bad. He looked around and was surprised by the amount of dirty laundry was around. The place was a monstrosity…How could there be that much dirty laundry? Where was he getting all his clean clothes from?...How was it that he had any clean clothes to begin with?...Well, he might as well get them all clean. That'd make time pass.

So Godot worked on the laundry well into the afternoon. Come evening, he was starved and still not done. So he decided to take a break and go eat food.

He barely walked into the kitchen before he ran back out, closing the door behind him with a slam and then leaning against it, breathing heavily and looking panicked. The kitchen smelled heavily of coffee. Coffee, coffee, everywhere, and he wasn't allowed to touch it! He was so hungry, but he couldn't even go into the kitchen to get food!

This…this was bad.

He started to pace in thought. What should he do? The kitchen was off limits, he wasn't going to go out—otherwise he'd give into his coffee temptation…what was left?

He looked around, and it came to him like a revelation. Order out. There was a pizza ad on the floor with the rest of the mail…he could get pizza! He ran like a mad man towards the mail and quickly dug out the ad, looking over the different toppings he could get on the pizza. Good thing that the shop wasn't offering any coffee.

He picked up the phone and started to dial the number before he flinched and jumped away from the phone like it was on fire. It smelled like coffee. Wonderful; just wonderful. Now what was he supposed to do?

It took him fifteen more minutes of pacing to realize that he could use the speakerphone to order his food. Doing so, he made an order for two large stuffed crust, cheese, olive, and mushroom pizzas, with breadsticks, cinnamon sticks, and a large Coke bottle, and please bring some Styrofoam cups as well, oh and bring them in 30 minutes and I'll pay you double. I'm timing you.

Godot paced behind the door with a hungry satisfaction, watching his clock as each minute ticked by. He was amazed when the delivery boy had knocked on his door at the end of the 28th minute. He quickly grabbed the food from the delivery boy, gave him a hundred dollar bill, told him to keep the change, shut the door in his face, and ran as fast as he could into the laundry room (since it was the only non-coffee-smelling place) to eat.

The delivery boy wasn't as fast as Godot, however. He stood dazed in front of the door for a few moments, trying to figure out exactly what happened. After he did so, he shrugged and pocketed the hundred dollar bill and headed to his car. When he got in the car, it struck him—the man just gave him a hundred dollar bill. He quickly pulled it out and examined it to make sure it was really a hundred dollars, and when he saw that it was indeed one hundred dollars, he smiled goofily—he just earned a forty-dollar tip. He came to put the bill away when he noticed something strange about it—there seemed to be a piece of green paper stuck onto it. He carefully pulled at the green piece of paper and found, to his delight, another hundred-dollar bill coming off of the original—there were two hundred-dollar bills now! So his tip just went up to a hundred-and-forty dollars. Well, now he was able to get the Wii he was saving for, and two games too. Sweet. He drove away making a mental note to fight tooth and nail next time the guy asked for delivery.

Fortunately, Godot was too far out of it to notice such a thing. At that point, he was sitting on the floor munching happily away at his third slice of pizza and drinking his third cup of Coke, leaning against a pile of dirty laundry that had yet to be washed (he figured getting the dirty laundry dirtier was better than getting clean laundry dirty).

After finishing a hearty meal (he ate one and a half of the two pizzas and drank three fourth of the Coke bottle), he resumed his laundry work, which he finished near midnight. At that point, he was thoroughly exhausted of cleaning and folding and rearranging clothes, and just plopped down on the nearest pile of the clean stuff and fell asleep.

The next morning was…bad. Godot had smartly set his watch's alarm to ring on the proper time to wake up for his appointment before the incident started, but he didn't take into account that he couldn't get up. The only thing that saw him up that morning was the fact that he had slept with his watch hand near his ear, and the noise emitted from it was loud enough to jerk him away for a few minutes before he went under again. But while he was falling asleep, he saw a speck of dark brown/black, which seemed to be moving…his brain slowly registered that it might be a cockroach, and his senses acted on it five minutes later. He jerked away again and stood up in supersonic speed, looking around frantically for the dark-colored moving spot…until he saw it swimming on the wall. He blinked owlishly at it a few times before he figured that it was a shadow from outside. He sighed in relief and looked around…only to remember that he had an appointment and rush out of the laundry room.

Luckily, he had left the laundry room door open, but, unluckily, he had his bedroom door shut tight. Thus, he ran into the bedroom door, hit his head on it, rubbed his head, stared at it accusingly, then opened it and rushed inside to the bathroom, which, again, the door was closed, and the process that happened yesterday repeated itself.

Again, the bathroom door was not pleased with the morning glare. On the other hand, the bedroom door, had it been an animate object, would have been rolling all over the floor laughing at the incident, and the accusing glare towards it would only have made it laugh harder.

After a quick shower (which, this time, he'd fallen into the tub), Godot began to put on his work clothes before he threw them away from him with a surprising force—they smelled like coffee (surprise surprise). He instead ran to his drawer and put on the first clean clothes he found, which resulted in him wearing light blue jeans, a red shirt, and a green tie. It's a good thing he didn't care how he looked like at the moment—he was late for his appointment.

He got to the hospital as fast as he could, and the pink-haired nurse was only too not-happy to have him back. She ran the results on him that she was supposed to, and then stuffed him into the paper suit for his x-rays and put his clothes out on a rack. While the doctor finished up the test.

The pink-haired nurse sat at the front desk, yawning. The Coffee Man had taken an appointment especially early so that he could make it to work on time, which mean that she and the doctor had to come in extra early, and that meant that there were no other patients at all. She really wished she could make his day terrible for doing this to her and kept wishing so until she remembered that she could.

She sneaked away to the back and rummaged through his clothes to find his cell phone. Once she did, she smiled evilly. First she changed his ringtone, then…

By the time the physical exam was over, Godot was shaking. He needed coffee. Now. He'd shakily put on his clothes, paid the nurse, and made his way out the door. As soon as he was out of sight from the hospital, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed the first coffee shop in his phonebook, hoping to have a delivery made to his desk by the time he arrived to work.

Thirty minutes later gave the world a very, very frustrated Godot. Not a single one of his usual shops took his order. They all refused, saying that they'd received a call from his secretary that they weren't supposed to fill out the order. The thing is, his secretary was currently in the hospital after a car accident that he'd found himself in the middle of and there was no way that he knew any of those numbers because Godot always ordered his own coffee! It made no sense whatsoever.

The only thing that kept Godot driving to the office was the fact that he had five different coffee machines there. And it had him going pretty fast. Very soon, he was parked inside the garage and on his way to his office. When he reached there, something even worse than waking up with a cockroach beside him happened—the electricity went out.

Godot refused to believe it (for he never got the memo about it, which was in his mail and he didn't check that). He ran towards his coffee machines and attempted to turn them on, but to no avail. This was…this was…

Winston Payne, who was busy with paperwork in his office, which was three floors above Godot's, jerked in his seat when he heard the most unearthly scream coming from above him. Had he not been so distracted with paperwork, he wouldn't have thought that a demon was making its way towards him ready to consume his soul, and he wouldn't have ducked under his desk for cover.

Fortunately for the man, he wasn't the only one who thought along those lines. People whom were brave enough ventured outside their office and towards the source of the scream while the rest stayed in their offices, and one guy even called the police. The bravest of all, who walked right up to Godot's office and peeked in, found the prosecutor wearing the tackiest clothes and sitting on the floor with what seemed to be shock, shoulders shaking. All in all, it was a pitiful sight.

The sight would have stayed that way too until most probably the end of the day, and the other prosecutors would have most probably because worried and called the hospital (which would have given the pink haired nurse such a laugh), but lucky for Godot that a cowardly prosecutor had called the police.

The police, of course, didn't take the call seriously, but when Gumshoe got a wind of the call, he headed there right away. He figured that the police really should go see what was going on, especially since they worked so closely with the prosecutor's office. He also figured that this may help build some trust.

So when a homicide detective showed up at the prosecutor's office, the cowardly prosecutors truly believed that someone had died.

One of the braver prosecutors, who ventured into Godot's office, told Gumshoe the whole story, and the whole thing just seemed to click with Gumshoe. He ran back out the office building saying he'd be right back.

So, when Gumshoe walked into Godot's office fifteen minutes later with a tray of hot, fresh coffee in his hands, he wasn't surprised to see Godot actually move and grab the coffee. But he was just as surprised as the spectators outside the office when Godot cried.

…Well, life is full of surprises, pal.