I know he loves me.

I can see it. Courtney can see it. It is obvious to anyone if you look hard enough.

I know that I've made countless mistakes in my relationship with Jason. So many times I've just wanted to say so much to him but I loose my nerves at the last minute.

When he walked away from me at Kelly's, I knew that I had to do something. I had to show him that he cannot give up on us so easily.

So I pulled a little trick. I know that I'm horrible for doing that but it is for a good cause. It is for us.

The last thing I expected was to be greeted with a gun and a cold stare. But his face softened, just for a second, when he saw me.

He was angry, as I knew he would be. He says he wants me far away from him but I know that's not what he really wants.

I thought that if he was so afraid of people seeing us together then a private secluded spot would be the answer.

But I was wrong.

He tried to walk away. I would not let him. I called him a liar.

He is a liar. He is running away from me not just for my safety but also for his own heart. I know that it is my fault. I am the one that made the horrible mistake of taking Zander to my bed.

I regret it. I regret what it did to my relationship with Zander and Jason.

Tonight was about salvaging that relationship. But Jason does not want our relationship to be salvaged.

I do not agree.

This time when I tried to tell him how I really felt, I didn't loose my nerves, and he listened.

He kissed me.

It was just like I knew it would be. My lips have been eager for his kiss since the last one.

But he pulled away in the name of 'my safety', let go of my hand, and walked away.

I know he thinks that walking away is best. But how can something be good if you are denying your heart want it wants the most in the world.

After he left I just stared into the night sky. The tears began to well up in my eyes.

After everything he is walking away. After everything we have been to eachother and everything we mean to eachother, he is walking away?

Well obviously I have to try harder. I will not give up.

I love him. I need him. It would hurt to much to not have him in my life. It hurts so much now just when I'm thinking about it.

A life with Jason is not a life I want to live.

I will not give up on him and will not let him give up on us.

I only pray that it is not to late.

I love him and I will do anything to prove that love to him. I will do anything to prove that I am safe as long as I am with him. I am happy with him. He makes me content.

He loves me and cares for me in a way that no one ever has. I need to prove that it is worth saving.

Because it is and I will not stop until we are together.

We belong together.