Disclaimer: I don't own Crono Trigger or any of that stuff, but this story is all mine! Oh yeah...I don't own Peter Pan either...
A/N: Well, this is a little spur of the moment...and I guess a little odd...but I like it anyway. It is kind of a sequel to another story I wrote a long time ago (Krono Kart) but you don't have to have read that one to understand what's going on. Yes, Crono talks, so if you don't like it when authors have him talk, don't read this. Glenn (Frogg) is human in this, by the way. Enjoy...
The Return To Never-Never Land
Chapter One: A Rare Sighting of Peter Pan
"...Crono? Are you okay?"
The redhead pushed himself up; where was he? And who was calling his name? He blinked furiously as a large purple mass swam in front of his face. After a moment, it came into focus as the worried face of his best friend, Lucca. She smiled and pushed her hair back. Adjusting her glasses, Lucca sighed and said, "you just had to press that red button, didn't you?"
Crono groaned, trying to remember. Vaguely and then more clearly, the scene came flooding back to him.
"So, did you come to see my newest invention?" Lucca asked, leading him to the backyard.
"Yup. I heard from Marle that it's gonna be really cool," Crono said looking curiously at the tarp.
"Yeah...how does she always know about my inventions?" Lucca wondered.
"Well, can I see?!" Crono demanded impatiently.
"Ta-da!" Lucca cried, whipping off the tarp.
"Wow! Cool...you've done a wonderful job..." Crono exclaimed.
Grinning, Lucca wiped her hair out of her face, "And you don't have any idea what this is, do you?"
Crono just shook his head mutely.
"It's a teleporter, dummy! Remember? From the fair? And we went to all those different times?" Lucca asked patiently.
Crono's face lit up and he nodded excitedly.
"With a few adjustments, this time. Now it not only jumps around in time, it will take us to different places. If it works, that is," Lucca continued.
Crono hopped in the machine and began to examine all the buttons.
"You can look, but don't touch," Lucca warned.
Crono glared, "I'm not two years old..."
A few minutes later, the two friends squeezed into the teleporter. The young inventor pointed to all of the buttons, discussing their uses in earnest tones. Her redheaded friend looked on, nodding with interest. All of a sudden, a particularly bright button caught his eye. "Ooooh!" He cried, reaching forward.
"Crono! NOT THE BIG RED BUTTON!! NOOOOO!!" Lucca screamed, trying to push his hand away.
WHUMP! Crono smacked the button. Suddenly, Lucca's vision blurred as the world began to spin. Crono clutched on to her as they whirled and twirled through space.
"Lucca? You know how I said I was bored? I'm never bored when you're around..." Crono suddenly yelled.
"Ditto! You keep things livened up too!" Lucca screamed back. Then everything had gone black.
"Oops," Crono muttered, remembering now that this was all his fault. And now, here they were in some lush, green, apparently uninhabited land. Crono stood up. "Where are we?" He asked, unable to see anything besides green grass stretching out for a ways and then crashing into a forest of old, gnarled trees.
Lucca shrugged, "beats me...shall we explore?"
Crono grinned happily, "sure!" Scanning the horizon of this new world, Crono noticed a huge boulder, somewhere beyond the trees. He pointed it out to Lucca.
"Another castle?" Lucca guessed, when he told her. She shuddered a little, remembering that just a few days before, she and Crono had visited the Mushroom Kingdom. That too, had been Crono's fault...he was always dragging her along on these wild adventures. But it was actually all kind of fun, although Lucca still couldn't help desperately hoping there would be no walking mushrooms, evil turtles or plumbers here.
"It's not Mario and Luigi's castle," Crono announced, sounding disappointed.
This came as more of a relief than a disappointment to Lucca, but to try and cheer her friend up, she suggested, "well, why don't we go see who does live there?"
Crono's face lit up. "Another princess?" He asked hopefully.
Lucca smacked him playfully. "You already have a princess! Gees...."
He sighed, "yeah...guess so..."
The two friends approached the castle. As they got closer, they saw a man in green walking towards them.
"He must be very comfortable with his manhood," Lucca giggled.
"He's wearing green tights," she whispered, trying not to laugh so loudly the man would hear. Crono stared at her blankly. "Oh, forget it! I thought it was funny," Lucca said crossly.
"Hello!" The man called, running over. "Who are you?"
"I'm handsome, dashing and," Crono winked, "available." Crono grinned as the man recoiled slightly. He certainly did enjoy screwing with people's minds.
The man stepped back, "uh...that's nice. Well, anyways, I'm-"
"PETER PAN!!" Crono screeched happily, remembering the boy in green tights from his childhood. And this man even had a small fairy, buzzing around his head. Therefore, he must be Peter Pan and she had to be Tinker-bell!
"Crono," Lucca began reproachfully.
"Who is Peter Pan?" Mr. Green Tights asked, wondering how to get away from these strange new-comers.
"A little boy in green tights who lives in Never-Never Land," Crono explained, which was, of course, no help at all. "But where's Wendy? I see Tinker-bell right there," he pointed to the fairy.
"What are you babbling about?!"
"Don't mind him," Lucca put in nervously.
"Can you sing?" Crono asked suddenly.
"Uh, well, I do play the ocarina rather well..."
"Never mind," sighed the man.
"Peter Pan sings this, 'THE SECOND STAR TO THE RIGHT SHINES IN THE NIGHT FOR YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!" Crono bellowed, launching lustily into a song and dance routine.
Lucca groaned and began to smack herself in the head repeatedly. Crono, having forgotten the rest of the song, began belting out the beginning again.
"THAT IS THE STUPIDEST SONG I'VE EVER HEARD! And I'm not Peter Pan!"
Crono stopped, mid-note. Lucca quickly clamped her hand over his mouth. "Crono!" She barked. "What's wrong with you?"
"Oops...I forgot...no talkies," Crono said.
"Good boy." She turned to "Peter Pan", who was nervously backing away. "I am so sorry, uh...what's your name?"
"Link," Link said, glaring at Crono.
"Right...Link. Don't mind this fruitcake. We got lost, could you tell us where we are?" Lucca asked politely, still clamping her hand over Crono's mouth and struggling to keep a hold on him as he squirmed.
"Beaber baan," he tried to shout at Link.
"Hyrule," Link said coldly, ignoring Crono.
"Uh...Hyrule? Um, this bad Crono. I've never heard of Hyrule."
"Ne niefier," Crono replied, scratching his head.
"We're from Guardia," Lucca informed Link.
He shrugged. "Can't help you there. We don't get many visitors. Why don't you come to the castle with me?"
"That would be great! So sorry to intrude," Lucca said, releasing Crono.
The whole way, Crono bubbled happily about castles, what they looked like, the people who lived there and more. He had only been in two castles before, but he liked them. "I can't wait to see your castle!" He said excitedly, as they began to walk inside.
"Well, you'll just have to wait a little longer," Link announced, slamming the door on Crono's face.
Crono stared and plopped dejectedly on the ground. He wondered how long Lucca would leave him here, alone. He sighed, feeling incredibly sorry for himself.
Meanwhile, Link was leading Lucca around. "And this is the banquet hall, which underwent reconstruction after a terrible-"
"Um...well, that's all very interesting-" Lucca cut in, eyeing the door.
"Fascinating?" Link interrupted.
Lucca frowned slightly, "yes, of course...fascinating. But uh, about Crono...I know we're guests...um, I mean, you didn't invite us, so I shouldn't complain, but I can't just leave Crono out there! That is...well, who know what crazy ideas will possess him!"
Link shrugged, unconcerned. "He'll be fine. Now in this room, notice the authentic wooden floor...!"
At that exact moment the boy that Lucca was so worried about, was lying in the grass, counting clouds. This was rather difficult, since they all kept moving. He was becoming convinced that Lucca had been kidnapped. As he became increasingly frustrated with the clouds, Lucca was still suffering through "The Grand Tour".
"So...are you a prince?" She asked pleasantly, hoping that Crono hadn't run off.
Link smiled dreamily, "well...not yet."
Lucca blinked, "what?"
"Actually, this is my castle," a soft voice announced. Lucca spun around to see a tall woman with flowing blonde hair and a beautiful blue dress, standing in the doorway. The woman smiled peacefully, "has Link been tormenting you? My apologies."
"Actually, they were tormenting me," Link pouted.
"Welcome to Hyrule, my peaceful kingdom. I am Princess Zelda and I see you have already made the acquaintance of my lovely boyfriend, Link."
About this time, Crono was idling braiding grass blades. He was thinking very hard about how to save his best friend and wishing that his girlfriend, Marle was here. He was a little confused, "-because doesn't Peter Pan rescue kids? And this does NOT look like Never-Never Land!" He glanced down and saw that he had braided a nearly two-foot rope of grass. The grass here was unusually thick and long. Looking at the grass, an idea suddenly hit him!
Um-yes, he had a wonderful idea. He struck a heroic pose in case anyone was watching.
"Eureka!" He cried. His wonderful idea was this: He could make a rope out of grass and climb into the castle to valiantly rescue Lucca. He struck another heroic pose, but still, no one was watching. Sighing, in disappointment he sat down. Then smiling happily, he remembered something. "I always wanted to say "eureka"..." He grinned and started braiding again, silently thanking Marle for teaching him.
As Crono worked away into the night, Lucca was struggling not to yawn. She had been given a nice room for the night, but now, resting on the bed, Link would not go away. He was almost as annoying as Crono!
"-so I busted out my longbow and notched an arrow in it, when this horrible creature snuck up behind me! Luckily, I was armed and ready to fight...I had years of training and other heroic deeds, which I can tell you about later, behind me, so I was about as ready as one could be. Still, this monster was very dangerous. One-no, even three arrows!-sent with my usual precision, failed to send him lumbering off, roaring in pain. Of course, I'm very good at quick thinking-nothing surprises me-so I-" Link exclaimed, the words pouring out of him and tumbling over one other in their excitement to be heard. Lucca felt faint.
She blinked, removed her glasses and rubbed her eyes, "pardon?"
"I was about to tell you the way that I defeated this horrific beast-"
"I know...I know. Uh, I'm really tired. Maybe Zelda would want to hear this, um, wonderful story," she suggested, flopping back onto the bed.
Link shook his head, apparently at a loss for words. Well, that's a blessing! Lucca thought happily and yawned widely.
"Why don't you tell her?" She asked.
"Because she's already heard it fifty million times," Zelda laughed, appearing in the doorway. "Link, our guest is tired...come, she shall be here in the morning."
Link opened his mouth to protest and quickly shut it again. "All right," he sighed. Then he brightened, "perhaps tomorrow! It's really too scary to be a bedtime story, anyways."
"Yes, it is," Lucca agreed quickly, making plans to leave at dawn the next morning. Link stood up and left the room.
"Everything else all right?" Zelda questioned kindly.
"Oh yes, thank you so much," Lucca said uncomfortably. She wanted to be nice to Zelda, but Link was driving her crazy.
Zelda though, seemed to understand. "Don't mind Link...he's a bit odd. Nice really, but...well, around here, we are not often blessed with the presence of visitors."
"Oh, I understand...it's all right. Thank you," Lucca called, as Zelda left. Sighing contentedly, Lucca turned out all the lights and soon fell fast asleep.
For her faithful friend, there would be no sleep tonight. "Sleep on, fair maiden! Soon, I shall ascend to thee window and yank thy out onto my rope woven of grass and friendship. Then thee shall be free once more, to turn thee sheen of purple hair to the brightly shining sun," Crono crooned to himself, checking his rope to make sure it was secure and deciding to add another foot or two. A voice stopped him.
"That is the corniest thing I've ever heard!"
"I thought it was lovely," someone else whined, sniffing loudly.
"You would," snapped the first voice.
"And just what is that supposed to mean?!" Demanded the second voice, it's owner sounding ready to pitch a, as the saying goes, royal fit. Crono turned around, grinning from ear to ear.
"Marle! Glenn!" He ran to them, hugging Marle tightly and kissing her. Then, he released her and threw his arms around Glenn.
"Back ye knave!" Glenn cried, flailing his arms about wildly.
"Ewww...don't kiss him, too..." Marle teased.
Crono reflected for a long moment, "would that make him turn into a prince?"
Glenn looked puzzled. "Why should it?"
"Oh, just something from an old story...this girl kissed a frog and he turned it a prince," Crono remarked casually, completely unaware of the faces Glenn was making.
"I'm not a frog!"
"Don't be silly," Marle said dismissively. "Of course you are..."
"Ribbit...ribbit," Crono whispered in Glenn's ear and then proceeded to hop around in a circle. Glenn groaned and yanked Crono into a headlock.
"Stupid spike-haired kid," he said and looked around. "Hey, where are we?"
Marle giggled. "Oh Crono, you big silly."
Glenn was not so easily amused, "Crono, tell us where we really are or you're about to be chopped into itty bitty pieces."
"I'm serious," Crono insisted. "Lucca and I met Peter Pan today...he lives there, in that castle!"
Marle frowned. What was wrong with him? She hoped he wasn't delirious, but it seemed highly likely. Peter Pan indeed. She ruminated a moment on the strangeness of her relationship with Crono. There were plenty of boys...well, young men, who were desperately in love with her. Or if they weren't, then they should be! What was wrong with them? She was a beautiful, blonde princess. How dare they not be awed by her royalty, her daring, her beauty...stupid fools.
"Uh...Marle? I asked you a question," Glenn prodded.
"Shut up! You men are all just stupid, stupid, stupid pigs!" Marle screeched, still deep in her thoughts.
Glenn stared at her a moment. "...um...so, by that you mean...of course you'll help, right?"
Marle stalked off. Crono called after her, tentatively, "Marle? You okay?"
"Something I said?" Glenn asked, bemused. Crono shrugged and the two young friends turned back to the more important problem at hand: rescuing Lucca from the evil Peter Pan.
Of course Glenn thought it was all nonsense. Peter Pan...he didn't even know who the guy was! But he wouldn't ask again, no, he had learned his lesson! Ask who Peter Pan was and Crono, no prompting necessary, would burst into song. Glenn wouldn't risk it again. He would though, take the time, and it could be a while, to teach Crono the proper usage of "thee" and "thy". Ascend to "thee window"...really. Even Crono should have known it was "thy window". Stupid spike-haired kid. They'd had an argument about it already, although Glenn had only been in this world for about hour. The debate had gone something like this:
"Lucca's where?!" Glenn had demanded, feeling rather upset to know she was currently inside a tower of the castle, being held hostage. If Crono was to be trusted, that was the way things were...
"Up in there," Crono repeated, pointing. The window was dark. Glenn hoped it wasn't some kind of tower dungeon or worse. "I told you, Peter Pan captured her and left me out here."
Glenn groaned. "Tell me again...exactly how dost thou propose to rescue her?"
Crono indicated the grass rope again, which now lay coiled at his feet. Glenn, unfortunately, did not know how to braid, so Crono was at work once more. The rope was currently about ten feet long and seemed sturdy enough.
"I see. And which of us dost thou suppose is to climb this contraption?" Glenn asked, secretly quailing at the mental image of himself dangling from a thin rope of grass as he attempted to scale a castle wall with few holds for his feet.
But luckily, Crono replied that he was going to climb. Glenn would supervise from the ground. Glenn fought half-heartedly, not sure he trusted Crono for this job. "YOU? But Crono...thou dost not even understand the proper usage of old English. How can thee possibly rescue her?!"
Crono glared at him, "I do TOO understandth the proper way to speak Old English."
Glenn groaned...perhaps he was already too late. Crono, it appeared, was a lost cause. "Listen, Crono...'understandth' 'tis not a word!" Glenn began, feeling he should at least try to explain. "And furthermore, any fool would have known 'tis 'THY window,' not 'thee window'...honestly..."
"I saidith THY window! And who are you calling STUPID?!"
Glenn took a deep breath and then another one. Then another. He tried to restrain himself. "All right, knave. I trust thee to rescue Lucca, for she is thy dear friend. Never mind that thy hair looks like shrubbery, never mind that thy mind art slow, for thou heart is...um...oh, forget it! Just ascend to the window already!"
"I can't...the rope isn't quite long enough. Just a few more minutes..." Crono grumbled, mumbling to himself that if Lucca wasn't his friend, he'd have gone home long ago...Shrubbery indeed!
To make amends, Glenn asked to be told about this mysterious Peter Pan. Crono's eyes had lit up as he launched eagerly into some kind of odd shuffling motion. Glenn hoped the poor boy wasn't sick. By the time Glenn finally realized Crono was attempting to dance, he also understood that the terrible screeching noise was really Crono attempting to carry a tune. Lord, his ears were hurting!
"CRONO!" Glenn yelled, as Crono stopped mid-note and looked up in surprise. "Ahem, ah, yes...'tis better that thee concentrate thy energy upon thy rope, making it strong and true so that thy good intentions may be carried out. That confounded noise-uh, that is, thy music is not necessary. Mayhap 'tis better to lie low and stay quiet."
Crono thought this over solemnly. Yes, Glenn did have a point. Suppose Peter Pan heard Crono singing?
"Cautious, lad...mayhap thy enemies lurk neigh. Shall I search the environs? Well? What say you?" Glenn asked, hoping Crono would agree.
"Huh? Oh, uh...sure, I guess..." Crono mumbled and sat, puzzling over what it was exactly that Glenn had just said.
Glenn tried hard not to jump up and down happily. He rushed off excitedly. Now if Crono were to ignore Glenn's warning that "Peter Pan" might be eavesdropping, at least Glenn wouldn't be there to suffer through another song and dance routine. And so, that was pretty much how things were about the time Marle was running into some trouble of her own...
And that's all I have so far...I'm not even sure how I got the idea for this story, but doesn't Link kind of look like Peter Pan? It all works out so perfectly-he even has a fairy!! lol, well...what did you all think? Should I continue with this? Suggestions are welcome (I'm not exactly sure where Marle has run off to, so any ideas would be great!) Please review, flames are okay. Thanx! ~CronoCat =^_^=