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"Can you guys watch the twins?" Carlos asks, entering the living room with the babies, where the guys are. He's holding Aubrey in his arms, and holding Zander's little hand whose walking beside him. It's been about three months since they've moved into this new house, but all of them are still depressed, and can not believe she's actually gone. This really hit them hard. "I'll be back in a bit."
"Where are you going?" Logan questions. Logan has been worried about the boys lately. They're all so depressed, including himself. But he doesn't let them see it, he stays strong for them. Anyway, Logan knows that the guys wouldn't do anything stupid to themselves, or try taking their own lives, but there's still that fear and worry in the back of his head. This really hit all of them, really hard, and they're all so miserable. He's just been afraid that they're gonna end up doing something stupid, that's why he's worried and he really doesn't like the guys leaving the house by themselves.
"I'm gonna go visit Allie at her grave," Carlos replies softly, and sadly. He hates saying those words. I'm gonna go visit Allie at her grave. Her grave. She shouldn't have a grave, she shouldn't be dug underground right now. She should be here with him, their babies, the guys, their friends, everyone. But she's not. Why did she have to go so soon? Why her? All these questions just run through his mind all day since she left. He'll never understand why she had to go.
"It looks like it's gonna rain out," Logan tells him, looking out the window. It's really cloudy, the sky is dark, and it's breezy out. It looks like there's about to be a storm, so he really isn't comfortable letting Carlos drive when the weather is about to get back. That's how Allie got into that accident. Ever since, Logan gets all worried and paranoid when him or the guys or anyone he knows drives in rain. "I think you should stay in, and go tomorrow."
"I'll be fine." he mumbles, giving Aubrey a kiss before handing her to Kendall, who smiles a bit as he takes her, then leans down and gives Zander a kiss before James grabs him. He then grabs his black Hollister hoodie from the couch, quickly putting it on before grabbing his car keys from the coffee table, then heading out.
He walks outside into the breezy air, and walks to his car, which is parked by the fountain, since he was using it earlier, and he planned on visiting Allie's grave today, he knew he was going to use it later today, so he didn't put it in his garage (the guys each have their own garage) like he usually does.
Carlos enters his car, putting the key into the ignition, turning it on, and driving off.
When he finally arrives at the graveyard, he parks his car, and slowly and sadly walks to Allie's grave. He knows exactly where it is, him and the guys visit often. Although it hurts them a lot to come, they all feel the need that they need to come visit her often.
He reaches her beautiful tombstone, and just sighs, sitting on the ground in front of it, not even caring that the ground is cold and dirty. He brings his knees up to his chest, resting his arms on top of his knees. His eyes fill with tears as he looks down at her grave. It has graved 'Allison Marie Diamond-Garcia' along with the date she was born, and the date she passed away. Even though they aren't officially married, they kind of were. They were engaged, Carlos feels like that's enough. Anyway, the grave has a lot of flowers, that him, the guys, and other people have put. And Carlos also left a framed picture of their little family. It was when Zander and Aubrey were newborns, they had cute family pictures taken.
"I miss you." he says softly, tears filling his eyes as he picks up the picture frame, looking at it. They both look so happy. They were new parents, of course they were happy, they got their own little family that day. Carlos wishes she were still here, to watch their kids grow up. It hurts to know they're growing up without a mom. But Carlos will make sure that Aubrey and Zander know their mother, how beautiful she is, and how much of an amazing woman she was.
"I would do anything, anything to have you back here with us. Why did you have to leave? I ask myself that question everyday. You were really strong, you held on for a week, but then your heart gave out. I wish that would've never happened, any of it. I wish we would've never got into that stupid argument, or I should've at least tried harder to stop you from going. You'd be here with us right now. In a way I feel like it's my fault you're gone. I'm so sorry baby."
By now he's crying harder, tears and tears running down his face nonstop.
"But I promise one day, we'll all be up there with you, okay? Me, the babies, the guys, everyone. You're with your mom and dad right now, but soon we'll be together. And I promise to you, that you are my one and only. I will never be able to love a girl as much as I love you, ever. And I want you to know that no girl will ever take your place, as the love of my life, and as Aubrey and Zander's mother. I love you, so, so much. Always and forever, okay?"
He's sobbing now. He wipes the tears from his face, feeling rain drops as he does so, followed by some light thunder claps. It's about to start storming, but he doesn't care. He'll sit out here in this storm with her, and just think about all their memories.
They would always have fun and joke around a lot. He remembers one time him and Allie made a bet to see who could give each other the silent treatment the longest. He loves their cute little memories, but he hates how he can't ever make anymore cute little memories with her anymore.
Both Carlos and Allie sit quietly on the couch, separate couches, not saying a word to each other. They both made a bet, to see who could give each other the silent treatment for the longest, they don't know how they came up with this bet, but they somehow did.
It's only been about twenty minutes into this bet, and Allie could already tell that Carlos is dying to talk, but they're both still silent. He's just sitting there, doing nothing but playing with his fingers and tapping his foot on the ground, while she's sitting on the other side of the couch, on her phone. She can tell this is easier to her than it is to him. She knows he's gonna talk any minute, even second now.
"Okay, okay, fine you win!" Carlos gave up. He couldn't take it anymore, it's weird being in the same room and not talking to each other, knowing they aren't even mad at each other. So he really couldn't do it anymore, so he lost. Oh well, though. Allie's really good at giving him the silent treatment, so if he would've never said anything, who knows how long this would've went on.
Even after Carlos talks, Allie still stays silent, not even taking her eyes off of her phone to look up at him.
"Babe, I talked, I lost so you can talk now!" Carlos tells her, getting impatient since she's still giving him the silent treatment, for no reason. But she still stays silent, not saying a word, and still focused on her phone.
Hm, since she doesn't wanna talk herself, Carlos will just get her to talk.
He moves over to where she is next to her, and takes no time in tickling her waist, since she's really ticklish on her waist. She immediately busts out laughing, still not talking but trying to push Carlos' hands away from her, but she fails.
"Carlos, stop!" she finally says, since he isn't stopping.
He finally stops, smiling knowing he could get her to talk.
"Then next time I tell you to talk, talk!" he tells her, chuckling as she just giggles a bit, and wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her close, kissing her temple. "What do I owe you?"
"Hm.." she thinks. "I could really go for some food right now."
"Well, you're lucky your boyfriend is an amazing cook." he grins, kissing her on the lips before getting up and heading to the kitchen.
"Carlos, dude are you still at the cemetery?"
"Stay there! I'm on my way."
Before Carlos could say anything, Logan hangs up.
Carlos wipes the tears along with the raindrops on his face, putting his phone back into his pocket.
"Bye baby, I love you so much." he says, setting the picture back down onto her grave, before getting up and slowly walking through the rain and back to his car.
As he reaches his car, he sees Logan's car enter the parking lot. But Logan isn't driving, Kendall is, and Logan is in the passengers seat. Kendall stops the car, and Logan gets out of it, then Kendall drives off again, heading back to their house.
"What are you doing here?" Carlos questions, not crying that bad anymore, but still crying.
"It's raining hard, and you can't drive while crying, give me your keys, I'm driving." Logan tells him.
"Logan, I'll be fine driving." Carlos insists.
Logan gives him a look. "Carlos, give me your keys, now."
Carlos sighs, taking his keys out of his pocket and handing them to Logan, before walking to the other side of the car to the passengers side. Logan also gets into the drivers side, and he carefully drives off.
"Mama!" Aubrey babbles, sitting on James' lap. Right now, James is home alone with the twins. Kendall and Logan went to go get Carlos from the cemetery, and he stayed here with his niece and nephew. Zander fell asleep, but Aubrey is still awake. She probably can't sleep because of this thunder, she's a light sleeper, Zander on the other hand, isn't. He can sleep through storms. Anyway, James gave Aubrey his phone to play with (she loves playing with phones), and the screensaver is a picture of James and Allie, and ever since she saw that she's been saying 'mama'.
The babies have been saying that a lot, it's like they're noticing she's gone, because they say it in a question type way. It hurts him, along with the guys so much knowing these two little babies are going to grow up without their beautiful mother in their lives. They were both really close to their mommy, and now she's gone. He just wants her back here with them.
"Mommy's not here right now, baby." James replies softly, taking his phone away from her and setting it on the couch beside him, then turning Aubrey around so she's facing him, leaning her on his chest and kissing her nose softly. "She's up with the angels now, looking down on you, Zander, and all of us."
"Mama, mama, aaaah!" Aubrey continues to babble, grabbing James' face and giving him a sloppy wet kiss on the cheek. He chuckles a bit. The babies recently learned how to give kisses, and they just give them at random times, he loves kisses from his niece and nephew. They're so cute.
"Thank you baby girl," he smiles, giving her a kiss on the cheek in return. "I love you."
He starts rubbing her back soothingly, and she yawns, resting her head on his shoulder, playing with his hair with her little hands.
"You remind me so much of mommy," James says softly. "She would always love playing with my hair...she'd always try to braid it."
Aubrey babbles softly.
"I love you, princess."
Please review. I feel like not a lot of people are reading, I've only been getting like a review a chapter, and if that's the case I'm not gonna bother to continue this.
So please, REVIEW! :D