Please don't get mad at me, I really need some help! I have to write a short story for my English Lit class and I was thinking about using "One Night" but then this idea hit me. this has absolutely nothing to do with VA but, I would really love it if you can help me by telling me if this is good or bad.
This is extremely personal for me so it makes it ten times harder to look at this as a writer. If you all would be so kind as to tell me if it's good or not, it's be extremely appreciated.
You can honestly tell me if it sucks, I promise I will not get mad. I'm just honestly curious.
So here goes!
At seven years old, one little girl thought she had the best life. She lived with her mom, dad, and two older brothers. Her uncle and aunt lived right across the pond, just a two minute walk down the road and around the corner. They lived in the middle of the woods on what seemed to be their own little private world. The little girl lived a happy life, she went to school, came home played with her dogs, got lost in her own world in the woods, and just enjoyed life. She didn't know about the evils of the world, she didn't understand how bad things happened to good people or how one persons greed could change an entire families life in the blink of an eye. The only losses she ever suffered were her grandmother at 6 months old but, she was too young to really be affected, and the occasional dog that 'seemed to run away'. She didn't know that someone was actually poisoning and killing her dogs, her parents just told her they must have got lost coming home.
She was happy. She loved spending her days with her uncle and her family and lived for weekend parties with the family. On some weekends her parents, aunt, uncle, and great uncle gathered at ones house to play cards. Her being the only little girl, was allowed to sit at the table and watch and oh how she loved those nights. They played music and she would sit in her uncle's lap careful not to move around too much, he was in a wheel chair, so she didn't want to hurt him. She loved as the adults drank more and more, minus her mom, they would get funny and talk a lot more. They'd tell jokes and sing. Sometimes her dad would take her to the living room and teach her to dance, sometimes her uncle would start singing to her and, sometimes when she felt like it she would sing to them. They would laugh and encourage her to keep going so, she did.
In the summers her parents and her aunt and uncle would go out on her uncle's boats and Jet Ski's. They would go to this island in the middle of the lake and camp out. Once while on the island her brother carved her and her uncles' name in this huge rock wall. It made her feel so happy that her name was there for the world to see right beside her uncle's. She would get on a jet ski with either her dad or her uncle. Later she'd build sandcastles and watch all the boys outdo each other on the Jet Ski's.
She lived for these moments when everyone was happy, having fun, and laughing. She never knew that one day these moments would stop, never knew that her moments with her uncle would soon be over. She didn't realize her innocence and naïve state of mind would soon go crashing around her.
Thanksgiving that year was a different occasion for her. Her uncle had been in the hospital for two weeks. She wasn't allowed to go see him just yet because her mother told her that the medicine he was on messed up his head so he didn't even know who she was. Her mom would go to the hospital every day and every day she would tell her he was getting a little bit better but that she still couldn't go see him, not yet anyway. She wasn't worried though, people get sick all the time but, they get better. He had been in the hospital before, he was in and out of hospitals since he broke his back but, he ALWAYS got better.
Thanksgiving morning came and her parents had a big surprise for her when she woke up, they were going to have thanksgiving in the hospital with her uncle! She finally got to go visit him! They hurried up and made all the food before loading it up and heading to the hospital. That day was amazing to her. She wasn't used to going so long without seeing her uncle so she absorbed every detail. Her mother was wrong because he did remember her and was excited she came, along with her brothers. They ate, went for a walk then just hung out for a while. He still wasn't all the way better so he was tired a lot but, she didn't care. She was happy to just sit in her dads lap watching her uncle. A little bit later her aunt came in and gave him a handful of pills. The little girls jaw dropped when she saw him swallow them all with no problem, how can anyone take that many pills? She couldn't even take one. He was sick though so she figured it was no big deal.
Eventually her uncle fell asleep and her dad insisted that they go home, her mom stayed to keep an eye out like she had since he was put in the hospital. She begged to stay but they said no it was too late plus her uncle needed his rest. She went home not knowing it would be the last time she ever saw him again.
Later that night as she was sleeping and dreaming her peaceful dreams, something dark and sinister was happening. She was woken up by her parents late in the night. Her and her brother gathered around the kitchen table. Her dad's eyes were red but she figured he was just tired. He told her that her uncle had passed but, she just got confused. What did that mean? Passed where? He then told her that he had died and went to heaven. That she was never going to see him again. Then she got mad how could they tell her this? She just saw him earlier that day! He was getting better! She saw her dad start crying and realized she was about to also. She jumped up and screamed "Liar! Why are you lying to me?" she saw her mom at the sink doing dishes so she ran to her. "He's lying isn't he?" she begged hoping beyond hope that this was some cruel trick. Her mother looked down with tears trailing down her face and shook her head. In that instant the little girls' heart broke. She broke down helplessly. Later she found herself laying outside her oldest brothers' room listening to some sad song he had on repeat, trying to figure out what had happened.
Days later things had moved in a blur. She still didn't fully understand that he was gone and not coming back, she didn't understand the concept of death and definitely didn't understand the worst was yet to come.
Her whole family came up for the funeral and she was anxiously waiting for her two best friends/cousins to show up because they understood her. They could help her. When they were at the funeral parlor she found her aunt. She asked her where her cousin was but her aunt just looked at her and said "I think she's too young to handle this". This mad the little girl angry she wanted to shout "WHAT ABOUT ME? I'M ONLY A YEAR OLDER!" but, she couldn't. She had to be nice. Her mom and dad were too upset to deal with her plus, it wouldn't help.
She went through all the motions, sat still while everyone talked, and didn't shed a tear. She was numb. When she stood up her parents led her to his body she was scared but refused to show it. She touched his hand and was shocked how cold it was. All she wanted to do was run home, find her uncle, not this fake thing, and hug him until she was blue but, she couldn't. She never would be able to again. They were burying him on a hill overlooking one of the ponds on a piece of the land they lived on. She made it through all the speeches without crying, she couldn't if she wanted to. They were walking away but after they got to a certain hill her mom stopped. She insisted on staying there. She wanted to watch him be buried. They were standing there while she watched the casket start going down. At that point the little girl finally realized she would never see him again. When she got off the school bus and ran to his house he wouldn't be there waiting, on the weekend game nights he wouldn't be there to sing to her, in the summers just his name would be on that rock. She would never see him again, hear his laugh, or feel his hugs. She broke down. Her mom told somebody to take her home and she followed not even caring who was holding her hand. It wasn't her uncle so it didn't matter. Again she didn't realize there was more to come.
The week went by, she didn't have to go to school. She slowly got a little better. Weeks went by and she started to move on as only a seven year old girl could. Whenever she heard her uncle brought up or thought of him she wanted to cry but, it was getting a little bit better. Months went by and things still didn't seem right. Her parents never talked to her aunt anymore and seemed upset when she was brought up or around. Her great-aunt moved into her uncle's house and her aunt moved away. Her aunt or now ex-aunt, whatever you call her, got a new boyfriend and stopped coming around. She got a new car and didn't seem at all sad. That angered the little girl, how was she so happy when the little girl was still so upset?
The little girl finally talked to her mom about it one day. They were in the car and her mom broke her heart just a little bit more. She told her that while her uncle was in the hospital his wife and mom were told not to give him any medicine from home. Later they found 19 pills missing from his bottle at home. He was too sick to take them on his own, so somebody had to give them to him, his wife. She gave him too much medicine which made him too sick, he couldn't get better. The little girl later found out it was because her ex-aunt had been cheating on her uncle and he was planning on divorcing her. Now the uncle was really rich because he got paralyzed at work but, when he got married they signed a pre-nup, meaning no money for her if they divorced. So she killed him and took the money. The little girl was upset and wondered why no one had done anything. She was told that she couldn't tell anyone because her and her mother would get in a lot of trouble. What the little girl didn't know was her mom had tried to do something, she filed a report but the wife gave a fake suicide note.
Thinking back the little girl thinks about all those times she had with her uncle. She can't remember the sound of his voice, the thrill of his laugh, or the feel of his arms around her. She can remember the happiness she felt when he was around. She remembers his favorite color was blue because that's her favorite too. She thinks back and can't remember a single time she wasn't happy with him around. She remembers the song he sang to her and the song she would sing to him. Most importantly she remembers that she felt loved when she was with him.
The years went by. She didn't know that that was just the first bad thing to happen to her. She didn't know that not long after her favorite teacher would get killed by a horse stepping on her throat or a close family friend would get killed in a motorcycle accident. She didn't know her great-grandmother would die from old age or, her great-aunt would die from diabetes. She had no idea that life was full of ups and downs. That there would be almost as many bad times as good. She didn't know that looking back that thanksgiving would change her life forever.
Time keeps going and bad things happen, at the time she didn't know she needed to cherish those memories, now she does.