Of Marketers and Men(gineers)
Note before the story: I have recently finished the TV series thanks to YouTube and are now reading some of the comics. What episode captured my attention was "Company Picnic" especially the subplot involving Dilbert and Juliet's struggle to keep a relationship between the rivaling groups. Thinking realisticly, he couldn't have just forgotten her like that, and vice versa. Thus I wrote this story to answer my question: What if they got the chance back? Perhaps a match had been made then and there for the future. Since I am a person who believes in that, I wrote this to represent that (and just as an excuse to do some free writing. It's been a while…) but most importantly, bring some life into a rather dead section of .
Disclaimer: All characters in this story and its places are rights of Scott Adams and those involved in the making of the series. This story is being written not for any intent of profit, but for recreation and to enjoyment of others (and to show my appreciation to the series *wink wink*)
And now, our feature presentation. Sit back, grab a Coke, and enjoy.
Those dreams were happening again.
It had been at least 6 months since his "Jeul" was ripped away from him and swept back into the Marketing company, which was none too kind to engineers like himself. Even through the monotony of his job, he could still feel a bit of emptiness, which was the hole that he had wished to fill for years now (to find a woman he would love) but since it had once filled, the pain was raw again. His fellow coworkers began to notice, even the normally oblivious Wally, and tried to convince him to let it go, the all too familiar expression "There's more fish in the sea…" It was perhaps two weeks of this attempted comfort, filled with dreams replaying that moment of his stupid sweetness at the diamond, before he had succumbed, along with the broken record dream.
Why is it then that they had began to appear again? Not only that, but with fantasies of the future? Oh, how he wondered how sweet was the feel of a woman's lips on his, as much as he hated to admit it. Dogbert wasn't much help in the matter, usually just muttering statements such as "It's just your mind wandering in the past." Or "Maybe it's a sign…" (dripping with sarcasm). It's certainly not a sign, Dilbert thought to himself, there's no evidence that suggests omens exist. While he kept his skeptical way of learning and logical form of judgment, he still couldn't help but have his thoughts wander to the supernatural explanations of the world.
Nah, it's just the random ebb and flow that is the human brain pattern. Most of those theories were made before we had the scientific research that explained natural phenomena. I mean really, how many people these days still believe that the sun is Apollo riding across the sky in a flaming chariot?
Dilbert didn't even think much of how old he was. All he knew was how long he had worked at this company, twelve years now, but unless he could remember how old he was when he first started, it wouldn't help. Maybe he was in his mid 30's, that seemed about right. When you are the least aware, the more change happens, it seems.
Unaware of change.
It's strange how one's thoughts can wander from one subject to a completely different one. And with the first subject of Juliet at hand, it was all the more odd. But most of all was when he had realized he had this conversation in his head throughout his drive to work and woke up from a somewhat bemused Alice.
"Mornin' Dilbert, something bothering you?" She said with her head cocked to the side and a coffee cup in one hand. At the sound of his name, he woke up from his thought-induced trance and swiftly turned toward her.
"Wha? Oh, nah. Just a bit tired is all." he offered as an excuse.
She wasn't exactly sold on it, but played along and replied, "Well, why don't you get some coffee before locking yourself in that cubicle?"
"Yeah, I was thinking about it anyway."
It was almost instantly after ending the idle chit-chat with the hot-headed brunette that he returned to the pondering state of his mind. Normally when he reached the square enclosed space that he has most of his memories in, he would think carefully about where each item would go on his desk, such as the stapler pointing exactly 45 degrees away from him. Rather, he dropped the dead weight briefcase on his desk with a dull thunk and absentmindedly floated over to the lounge. As soon as he entered the open door, his eyes locked on an already brewed pot. In a few steps, he crossed the room to it and poured it into a mug, not even noticing the Pointy-Haired Boss sitting at the table chatting into his cellphone about some clients looking at the Grunt Master 6000 (Why did we even stop caring about it anyway?) with his own cup. Dilbert was more of a black coffee person, but he decided to add a packet of sugar to it. He tore the paper top off the tiny packet and emptied its contents into the steaming mug. As he reached for the coffee stirrer and grasped it in his slightly plumped fingers, he froze.
A coffee stirrer.
It was an office item that was of trivial value to most, but it held one of Dilbert's best memories he had within the walls of the company he worked for. That day where she entered the lounge to the unsuspecting coterie of coworkers, caramel brown hair pulled into a bushy ponytail in some attempt to keep it from flying everywhere. Perhaps it worked, but regardless it was quite a majestic look. He watched with interest as she poured a modest amount into her mug and a blend of creams. That was when she walked straight toward him and plucked his coffee stirrer out of his mug to stir her own. If he wasn't so enamored by her regal appearance, he would have protested to such an act. If he wasn't so dumbstruck, he would have certainly said something when she stuck said stirrer into her mouth to get the excess creamer off and dropping it back in its initial place. To add the finishing touch to the sweet display, she turned back when at the door, locking her chocolate orbs with his glasses obscured blue ones, and uttered quite seductively, "It was very nice meeting you... Dilbert." and left silently. Something had indeed struck him that day, and it was something different from when he had crushes here and there.
Hell, if she has pushed those flirtations just a hair more, his tie would certainly have lost its gravity-defying demeanor.
"Say there Dilbert, you got any good ideas coming up?"
It was the sharp knife of the Pointy-Haired Boss's voice that shattered his flashback. That was also when he realized he had been staring at that thin plastic cylinder the whole time. He almost splashed it into the not-so-hot liquid and began to casually stir it as he turned to face Mr. Pointy-Haired. "Oh, hey boss. I have been thinking about... a... an automatic fruit peeler! You know, it can be annoying to try to get the peels off of a lot of kinds of... fruit... yeah."
He silently praised himself for being able to make up a lie so quickly, and thanked whatever that his boss was, to put it tactfully, stupid.
"Oh, good idea! I especially hate those bananas. I mean, could there ever be a harder fruit to peel? Keep going on that idea Dilbert, I bet we could make a fortune on that!"
Dilbert could only manage a nervous chuckle as he tried to walk out casually and take his dose of caffeine back to the familiar and bland cubicle. As he sat down to type on his computer, he took a sip of the impulsively made beverage.
Even for the sugar he had put in, it almost felt like it was sweeter than usual. That was the line crossed.
"I know what I need to do now..." Dilbert muttered low and determinedly. "I need to find Juliet. We together need to break through the separation between us. I won't rest until I get my Juel..."
...my Juel... He thought sadly.
That is the first chapter finished. Please tell me what you think of these three categories:
1. Tone of the story, since I feel it is pretty heavy and thoughtful especially around the beginning.
2. Character accurateness. Feel free to say if someone is OOC
3. Grammar and spelling errors. I am a major grammar nazi myself, but sometimes I miss some mistakes especially with long stories.
Due to the low activeness of this branch, I will wait patiently for a review. The sooner I get one, the sooner another chapter goes up. Cheers!