Here we have it! The final piece! It's long and by God is it fluffy! There is so much fluff and sugary sweetness that I'm probably going to fall in to some kind of hyperglycaemic coma :)

I've made room for a collection of one-shots if I get inspired when the second or third movie comes out. Who knows?

Also, just wanna send a massive thank you to everyone! All the readers, followers, favouriters, reviewers and everyone! Also huge thank you to 3insteinComplex for her fantastic artwork. I don't think the link worked before but here's the second attempt that basically just links to her gallery (she's awesome, check it): 3insteinComplex . deviant art . c o m just remove all spaces.

Naturally the reviewers get a final hurrah! Last chapter dedicated to the following:

Guestgirl
Suheyla
Musje5
Ilya
Ari
Vault108
thetravelinglemon
3insteinComplex

You guys are perfect! Hope this okay for you guys :)


I raced along the halls of Erebor, the halls set aside for all of the royal family, as I began my mission. My mission if I chose to accept it was to hunt down Fili, "husband or not Prince Fili I will box your ears when I find you!" I hissed knowing that my voice would carry through the halls. I was pretty sure he was hiding on Bilbo's balcony, made specifically for him after he and Thorin had married. As happy as he was that there was a Newshire parked on his metaphorical doorstep Bilbo did miss his garden at Bag End. He'd been ever so happy when we'd brought back for him some cuttings from his garden. Thorin had sent ravens to Dwalin, who accompanied us, to make someone do the cuttings. If Fee and Kee had tried there would only be mangled remains of over enthusiastically cut flowers.

Whilst these flowers were a surprise for Bilbo, I was not a surprise for Thorin. It took a full year to return to Erebor what with all the travelling, setting up trade and making the hobbits think us dwarrows weren't such a bad sort. That actually didn't take as long as you might have thought. Once they found out we drank a lot, liked to have parties and ate more than our fair share of food, despite having them in three goes rather than seven, the hobbits were actually pretty okay with our presence. Still, they couldn't be convinced to leave their beloved Shire although some of the more independent hobbits were coming back with us to visit Newshire and help set up trade. Fee, Kee and I headed the procession that slowly made its way back to the front gates of the Lonely Mountain. I couldn't get over how different it looked. Before it had been a solemn structure, dark and full of chaos. Of course a dragon had lived there so allowances could be made. However of all the things I had been expecting it had been so many people. Laketown had been rebuilt away from the lake and was living under the name Dale once more, ruled by Bard the Bowman who had run the corrupt Master out of the town. It was again a booming market town although it would be a while before people would start travelling from all over Middle-Earth to barter there. Humans were allowed to wander freely in Erebor but only on one level, they were not allowed down below or in the living quarters unless invited by a dwarf and with permission from Balin. Balin still resided in the Lonely Mountain and had not sought out Moria since he had to advise Thorin and Ori had decided to attend our Shire journey instead. Dwarrows from all over had come to once more fill and stabilise the mountain and the Company had all been given high status. Bofur had gone on to court a noble woman and people were expecting to hear wedding bells within the next five years or so. The main gate was teeming with people and guards. Amongst them, waiting for us, was the entire royal family. Thorin, Bilbo and a dwarf woman I now know as Dis. She was broad and fierce with long, intricately decorated blonde hair and a magnificent beard. As we rode up to the gate her eyes pinned me to my pony. The following conversation went a little like this.

"You have finally returned to us Kayleigh." Thorin boomed, dare I say it, rather happily. I blinked unaccustomed to his good moods. Apparently there were a lot of them. So much so that when there had been a rebellion against his rule since he had yet to find the Arkenstone many people were shocked when the answering retribution had been swift and bloody. No one has contested his right to rule again. After my surprised blinking had faded I pouted and kicked Kili in the calf as he dismounted, causing him to stumble and land on his back, foot caught in the stirrup.

"Did you tell? I thought we agreed-"

"It was Dwalin." Dis suddenly interrupted and I jumped because holy crap is that woman's voice loud. Swiftly I slid off my pony, getting quite graceful at that shit, and curtsied as Ori had shown me. Not without swearing at Dwalin behind my back of course. The big old warrior simply huffed, "besides now my dear son quite simply cannot contain his excitement when before he couldn't even smile." Both Kee, recovered from his fall, and I glared at Fee as if he'd betrayed us. Fili simply shrugged and placed my hand in the crook of his arm.

"Amad, may I please present Kayleigh Gallagher, my wife." When we'd discussed actually formally introducing me to his mother Fee had promised to give all of my titles which included stuff to do with the Line of Durin, phoenixes and princesses (I was truly cutting a badass figure). I'd told them that if he did that I'd sock him in the nose, his mother's good opinion be damned, and that he should pick the one that he felt was most important. Rather telling the one he picked don't you think? Dis gave me the once over and I gulped remembering that Fili's habit of being covered with weaponry came from this woman and she made him look restrained. I'd heard from Dwalin that she'd knocked him out with something akin to the Vulcan Death Grip, kept at least twenty assorted daggers in the folds of her skirts and that her hair decorations were dipped in poison. I loved her and feared her all at once. I curtsied again.

"I'll deal with you later. Now my sons, tell me what-" I'm sorry I couldn't help myself.

"Deal with me later? Why? What have I done that needs dealing with?" It was just the dismissive way she'd said it that instantly had my back up and my stupid mouth running away with me. I ignored the many wide eyes and manically waving hands from the surrounding men that were telling me to stop. Dis levelled me with her most venomous glare. I only flinched a little bit I promise.

"You are the reason that my sons, although successful and unscathed in battle, sunk in to a deep depression for a year and condemned one of them to a lifetime of loneliness." Now the unscathed bit wasn't entirely true. Both of them had been littered with artificial but painful wounds and some had been deep enough to scar. Poor Kili's skin is a veritable patchwork quilt of angry memories and Fili has a deep groove running from the top of his shoulder to his hip. In bad weather his shoulder gets stiff and Kili will have difficulty moving. However the other bits were uncalled for. Fili tried to soothe me down from the angry tirade he could see was building.

"There are so many things wrong with that sentence I don't know where to start." Thorin made a noise that could have been a laugh but a glare from his sister was enough to turn it in to a hasty cough, "I didn't choose this entire thing you know. It wasn't my choice to leave for a year! So don't you go blaming me for something I had no control over alright. Besides I'm here now so you can just stop being all Miss Judgemental on my ass." Then I stopped, clapped my hand over my mouth and stared in abject terror as Dis stared at me like I should be a on fire. A look she shared with her brother since this wasn't the first time I'd been on the end of that look before. Didn't apologise though. There were several beats of tense silence before Dis burst out laughing and slapped me on the back, jolting me forward with the sudden impact.

"Let's get you settled in to your rooms and then you must have dinner with me. Fee tells me you're from another world, I'd very much like to hear about it. Maybe we can persuade Ori to part with some parchment so that you might write down the tale."

And so it was that I had a very affable dinner with my mother-in-law that night. Sometimes she likes to catch me out and glare at me for some perceived slight. I'll glare straight back, we'll fight like Kili and I do and everything will go back to normal. Normal being a relative term for me of course but fast forward twenty years and my normal generally consists of hunting down my errant husband to box his ears.

I burst in to the main area of the royal suite where the family will gather in their free time. Today Bilbo, Legolas as royal friend, Kili's betrothed Gildar, Dis and Michael are sitting there with Bilbo patiently teaching Gildar the art of crochet. Legolas didn't even look from his and Kili's game of backgammon when he asks, "and what has your poor husband done now?"

"Poor husband my sweet tush," no swearing with Michael in the room, "that little rat has only gone and ordered Gloin to give me bed rest. I'm pregnant not deathly ill." I was in such an excitable mood that Michael responded instantly, wriggled from his grandmother's lap and waddled over. Fifteen years old and still a toddler, it never fails to freak me out. He begged me to play a game with him, probably with the toys Bofur, his wife and Bifur love plying on him. They keep making toys for the new one even though I've told them the new child can play with whatever toys Michael had. I squatted down, all ungraceful now I seem to have swallowed a planet, and said, "not now sweetie. Amad's got to hunt down Adad and punch him repeatedly until he gives in." Michael just giggled yanking on my hair until I gave in. Taking tips from his mami the good lad.

"You never get in the way of a Durin protecting their treasure." Dis shook her head whilst laughing, "Fili's hiding out on the balcony. Came in here just before you did begging not to give him away." There was a muffled shout of dismay from Bilbo's balcony but I was the one who had to go out there since Fee was too coward to come out and face my wrath himself. Pouting I padded as fast as I could out there only to have it all fade seeing my husband grinning wretchedly in the middle of flowers.

"At least stop going down to the market?" Fili had long learnt that giving me a ridiculous order then offering me the reasonable compromise he'd wanted all along was the way to get me to do what he wanted. Also it had come to light that I was a dab hand at organising and had taken twenty years to work my way up to being manager of all of the indoor dwarrow market. When Fee became King it would all stop of course but for now I was enjoying being all working mother and that. Scrunching up my nose I huffed in agreement. Fili darted forward and dropped a tiny kiss onto my nose which didn't un-scrunch until he offered his usual peace offering, "I brought you this to entertain yourself with for when you're not in the market. I remember Amad asking you to write down your tale when you first met and you haven't done it yet."


So here we are my gentle readers. My tale all nicely written out for you since I'm trapped away in a mountain 'for my own safety' as my husband puts it. I hope you've all enjoyed the story. I have been your writer for this evening.

My name is Kayleigh Gallagher. I have most definitely fucked shit up.