Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
AN: Nathan's POV, sort of a tag scene to s3 finale. Obviously spoilers for that if you haven't seen it.
As everything falls around him, the place he loved, his home, friends, all of it - in the end it all means nothing.
Without her, he feels nothing. Somehow it's all blurred into an unknown. This… thing he feels now is not loss, its devastation, fear, panic and several other cruel words that can't even begin to explain how it hurts.
The vision is blurred, rapid breaths escape his frail body and yet he feels nothing, staring at his own blood to try and grasp how it had come to this. This filthy and inescapable scene that he seems to relive over and over again.
Finally he is truly alone. Always different, never being able to connect with anything else then disgusted glare that followed him everywhere he went. The troubled, forsaken to this world.
Maybe this was the way it always was meant to play out and no amount of self-loathing and grief could change what has transpired here. The bold truth that seems to scream in his face. It's all over; time to face the imminent and shattered scene in front of him.
At least she isn't alone. Even though she will spend all that time in the damn barn, she had people to help her, to love her. Their son is with her and Duke, as much as he hates to admit it, will prioritize their security above everything else. For that he is glad.
The ground pulls him in, no longer able to hold on, impact causes further breaths to escape him and air seems to be a rare occurrence in his lungs now. Might as well, it's not like this torture could not brake him in any of the next twenty something years that would just serve as a reminder that he has lost everything. Like this he could almost imagine the hurt that's probably spreading through him at the rapid pace, but all he can wish is to feel her. Just once and he would make peace with everything and let it all go.
Cough that follows is raw, he knows that the blood is filling his lungs and he will slowly suffocate on it. Memory of her brief touch fills his senses and he basks in them. What else does he have left but the memories of what once was.
Slowly the darkness is taking over and the face comes alight behind his eyes, enclosed memory of piece - a scene with her, Duke and him pulling an all-nighter to try and understand the situation they were in. Just friends relying on each other and knowing that together they can make anything happen. Her hand clasped over his as she smiles at something Duke tender's about and a sense of piece that follows him through it all. Here he is at piece.
And as the hell rains on the place he swore to protect, the fight in him wans and a striking thought runs through the mind one last time. In the end he is alone, always has been, and at this moment he's okay with it... Yeah, okay with it all.