A/N: I'm going to be out of town for awhile, so rather than make you wait till I get back, I just figured I'd publish this now.
It was a sunny day when Severus went to the door to receive his post. He began flipping through the envelopes, and saw one hand-addressed to a Mr. Severus Snape, with a return address of Mr. Harry James Potter. Severus sat down, his hands shaking a bit, as he opened the envelope. There was a piece of stationary, neatly folded. Severus opened it up.
I decided to send this by Muggle post rather than owl so that it would not be inconspicuous. Please let me know if Muggle post actually works. I've never done it before.
I'm sorry I took so long in writing to you. I decided to take what you said about writing when I was ready at face value. I think this is the first opportunity where I have been ready. The thought of writing to you seems much less intimidating than talking to you.
Do not feel guilty over what happened, Severus. It wasn't your fault. I know you well enough to know that you still hold it against yourself. Please don't. Forgive yourself, because everyone else has forgiven you.
My studies have not been suffering. In fact, my grades are as good as they have ever been. I'm near the top in all of my classes. That's probably because I've actually been studying. Studying allows me to forget who I am and just learn about whatever the subject is. I can drill cards, or read the text, but while I do that, I'm not Harry Potter. I'm just learning.
I write to Ron and Hermione, but I haven't been able to bring myself to tell them anything. Hermione and I discuss school, and Ron likes to hear about Muggle sports. Things like Quiddich, but without brooms. I follow them so that I can tell him about what's going on. It gives me something to do.
I believe you would approve of my new sense of fashion. I've found I have a certain love of dark colors, especially black. If you didn't know me, I suppose I look like a Slytherin now.
Oh, Severus, I hurt so bad. Can't the pain just end? You healed me well. I have hardly any physical effects left. But my heart still hurts. I just want it to end. I got rid of all my knives, even the ones for the kitchen. I don't want to do anything stupid, but I'm afraid I will. I keep my wand locked up, just in case. Sometimes, it just seems like such a good idea. What's happening to me, Severus? Have I gone mad? Is this what happened to Mr. and Mrs. Longbottom? I should probably be locked up in St. Mungo's, but I don't want to be. I just want to be normal.
I was never normal. When I lived with the Dursleys, I was a freak. And then I was a freak among wizards too, for being The Boy-Who-Lived. I wish I wasn't The Boy-Who-Lived. I wish I was killed by Voldemort seventeen years ago. Then I could have been normal.
Not even sleep is a good escape. I relive those nights, over and over in my dreams. There isn't a night goes by without a nightmare. I sound like a child, I know, but it's hell to relive them.
I feel broken and empty. I have only one favor to ask of you. Please don't remember me like this. I've lost everything I ever treasured. Remember me as I was for those few months we had.
Perhaps one day, I'll see my way clear to returning to Spinner's End.
A single tear drop fell on the paper.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed it, or at least as much as a sad story can be enjoyed. I have an idea for a sequel, but I must have interest in it before I'll write it. Does anyone actually want to see a sequel, or do you think this is where it should stop? I'm not sure of the ending for the sequel myself yet, but I think it would be more positive than this one. If you want to see the sequel, there's the review box, right down there. Just drop me a quick note and tell me. Also, please tell me what you thought of this one overall.
As a last note, special thanks to all who reviewed. Thatsallwegot gave several ideas, some of which were actually used, and Waiting4amanmadwithabox beta-d for me, and also gave ideas.