As always, I do not own Criminal Minds. This will touch upon self-harm so you have been forewarned…Please R&R…
You know starting a new school is always hard, or it was for me. I could never fit in I never belonged anywhere too many different schools, and I couldn't even try and tell you my teachers names because they all blend into one.
However, that changed when I reached sixteen we moved back to the states. I had always been ahead of my classmates I am guessing that is why I have never fitted in and never had many friends. Although I did have two close friends Matthew and John but we have drifted apart their parents blame me for Matthews's problems, but I was not to blame really, he was my friend and he stood by me in my time of need, because there was no one else I could turn to back then.
The first year I was back, I had to go to a summer camp. Of all the things to do when you're on summer break, but oddly enough I enjoyed it, I made a fantastic friend called AJ and when camp finished we kept in touch via letters, it was nice to find someone who understood me. I always knew she was troubled and misunderstood but I tried to keep her spirits up and it is because of AJ that I choose the courses I have for college.
I had only known her for three years until the letters stopped coming, it confused me at first but I put it down to her moving on with her life she was two years my senior, a few weeks later after my last letter I posted wishing her all the best and I hope she is doing well. I received a reply my heart sored she had not forgotten me. Well that was until I opened the letter to find inside a short letter explaining to me that AJ had committed suicide. I think I cried for a whole two weeks after reading that and that letter along with the rest are locked up in a safe in my bedroom, I would treasure them for the rest of my life.
I am now 19 and in my second year in college, I have a part time job to pay my own way but I also know my mother is placing money in my bank account but we don't talk about it and mainly because we have never been close, I have been classed as the college geek by a few and I also now have a very close friend, although he is a heck of a lot younger than me, but he is a genius and I mean it when I say that. He is only 15, people tease him but I look out for the kid, we study together most nights or we play chest it is nice as well to have someone who will watch star trek, Dr. who and even as far as buffy the vampire slayer with, we click, though he lacks totally in social skills but there again I do to a point his name is Spencer Reid but I call him Reid which he likes.
We talk about everything and I know I am the only person who knows about his mother, it is hard on him and he worries greatly about her, and I know it is something I can never understand because me and my mother do not get along, we always end up in an argument if we are in the same room for a long period of time. I am her problem child unlike my perfect sister. And all because we want different thing in life, she wants to get into the state department and she is doing very well for herself but she is another person who lacks any ability to understand me.
Reid often tells me people find it hard to understand me or get to know me because I am very closed off. However, who wouldn't be with my upbringing? I hate anything to do with politics and my mother hates the fact that I date women now.
My father died when I was younger so I never really knew him I have seen pictures of him, I have been told I am heartless for not crying over it every year on the anniversary of his death but how can I when I don't remember him? I didn't know him, he died when I was three, we lived in Ireland at the time when the IRA was fighting against one another and fighting against Britain. In addition, all over part of their country they wanted back the thing is that part of Ireland is happy to be part of Britain, I must admit it is a beautiful country and if anyone ever gets the chance, they should visit it, there is so much countryside.
But now I am here again waiting for the new students that are due to arrive to show them around. I do hate this but this is part of my masters and part of which I do tend to love, to be a mentor to the lucky few who have managed to get in here, either through scholarships or because their parents have enough money to send them here.
Now the kids that come from the wealthy backgrounds are mainly spoiled and do not want to be here, but the kids that have fought to get in to achieve their scholarships are different they want to be here, they want to be successful in their chosen careers or paths in life and these are the kids who I will mentor. Most come from poor backgrounds with little money and they need to keep their grades up to stay here and this is where Reid and I come in, because we are both over achievers but that is mainly because we apply ourselves to everything we do.
I must admit I hate waiting I feel like we stick out as we stand in the usual meeting ground for all new students it is now 9am and they should start arriving any second now. This is where I close my eyes and pray Reid doesn't over compensate with throwing statics at them or babble too much which he does when he gets nervous or a pretty girl looks at him and I find it very sweet and cute but as always I will protect him from them who cannot understand him or the people who bully him because he is like my brother, he is the family I never had and never seen so kind and caring.
Well I can see the first cars beginning to pull up, it is the day before term and we have to get them settled into the dorms and show them around the grounds which can and will take most of the day since it is one big college and even me and Reid get lost sometimes which makes me laugh since the kid has an eidetic memory which is also handy sometimes because like him I love to read, I love to learn and he and I will discuss everything we come across. Two people from completely different backgrounds who have bonded all because I stood in front of him when an older kid went to hit him.
It is always the scholarship kids that turn up first and I know you may wonder how we know they are scholarship kids and that would be because their parents bring them, they do not have their own cars and they look at the college in awe, they have a special glint in their eyes that speak of determination, though I come from a privileged background I will never use it to get anywhere. Yes I am a trust-fund kid and I hate it more to the point I will never allow people to know that.
I know Reid knows about it but he is different I know he won't betray me and that is what happens when you have been friends for two years. I do not trust many people and I also tend not to allow them close, even when I have dated, I never allowed them to see my heart.
I can't help but smile as we look at the bright faces of the kids which will be under our care and guidance I just pray they don't do what normally happens and they try and bully Reid or throw out the nasty self-centred remarks about my being gay which always happens because people do not understand it. However, you cannot help whom you are attracted to and whom you may be able to love when you can open yourself up to them fully. However, trust is a big thing, which I tend not to do very often.
Now this is the boring part where we introduce ourselves and explain what we are doing today, so far we have. Aaron Hotchner, Penelope Garcia, Derek Morgan and someone who has just astounded me, which earned me a dig from Reid, Jennifer Jareau who straight away asked us to call her JJ not Jennifer. Which we nodded in understanding. Some kids like to be called either their last name or by shortened names and it was our jobs to respect them and understand each person is different and different is okay with us.