Kinda Outta Luck


Time to give in to the kindness of strangers

Lana Del Rey, "Kinda Outta Luck"


Chapter One

"Fuck."

I approached my apartment on that cloudy afternoon, expecting to be just as carefree as I had been when I'd left, but instead found my items—every last one of them—strewn out on the sidewalk. I accidentally stepped on one of my books, and managed to even stub my toe on a box.

The day was September thirteenth, my twenty-first birthday, and I had been evicted from my apartment. I was supposed to pay the rent on the first day of the month, but I'd held it off. I'd done it before, of course. I'd even seen the eviction notice. The landlord just had to be an ass this time, though. I was homeless now. I was officially twenty-one years old, freshly jobless, and now homeless, just to make things dandier.

But wait.

I'm getting ahead of myself.

I was pretty sure that my troubles all began when I was seventeen. I'd moved to Forks to live with my father, Charlie Swan, and I'd thought things would be okay. Small town meant small problems, right? Wrong.

I'd never been one to be into telling long, drawn-out stories, and I still wasn't, so it was easy to say that my life went to shit once I met the two loves of my life: Edward Cullen the loser and Mary Jane the mistress. Mr. Cullen and weed. Weed and Mr. Cullen. They went together like a bird and its feathers. They were both great company to keep, and that had hit me hard in the summer after the eleventh grade. For my senior year, though, I'd tried to get over the flings and actually make something out of myself. That hadn't worked to the best of advantage. I'd made it out of high school just barely passing, and Edward had done the same. In that July after graduation, Edward had left me for community college (or so he'd told me). He'd just had to go across the country, leaving me with nothing but a broken mind and a pregnancy that had chilled me to the bone, but I'd gotten rid of. In that next September, Edward had come back for me. Community college hadn't been for him and it still wasn't. His father didn't support him anymore, so he ended up stuck in the same shitty apartment complex as I had. I hadn't thought I would forgive him. I was more addicted than I'd thought.

Shady Pointe (yes, that was the name, I shit you not), the apartment complex I lived in at the outskirts of Forks, was where I'd had my most memorable times. High times, low times. Tons of them. I'd moved in the week after I'd turned eighteen. I'd been a rebel, and I still was. All I'd needed in life was Edward and pot. I'd been a total ass to Charlie, so Shady Pointe was really where I'd been destined to end up. I'd had a steady job at the Newtons' store, so I'd been able to move in okay. Edward and I had even started together until we'd had one of our many breakups over the years and he'd decided to get a place himself. It was like his haven to sell and do weed… without me, of course. He didn't like to include me that much.

Edward Cullen, my upstairs neighbor and on-again/off-again boyfriend, was a total scrub. He lied, he cheated, and he was the grimiest thing I'd ever approached. He was a flake and he didn't really love me, but I'd always kept forking over my little money to him, back when I'd had a job. He was always chasing paper, and doing a terrible job at it. He thought he was this gangster… this hot-shot with dreams as big as his father's paychecks. Edward never had to work a day in his life, and he never wanted to, even when his daddy's wallet was no longer his personal ATM. I couldn't leave Edward alone, though. I couldn't if I tried. Even as I saw him bring more girls than I could count on one hand up to his apartment a week, I never stopped loving his pathetic character. Maybe it was because he was a reflection of me, but the fearless me that I was afraid of. He knew how wretched he was; he embraced it and lived like nothing was wrong. I would watch in his shadows, wishing I could care as little as he did. In that way, I admired him. I understood him. Oh, and I loved him. I loved him to death. He could think he was the worst—because he was— but he could also act like he was the best. And he was.

Shady Pointe was, in all honesty, a very shady place. I had my little group of friends, and by friends I meant the people that Edward and I frequently got high with. Our little posse held up just fine. We kept each other's secrets. Once I'd discovered that Garrett and Kate (yeah, we were a pretty big group) were just like Edward and I, we'd all promised to not rat each other out. It wasn't like I'd been evicted for doing weed, since Garrett and Kate never told and the other neighbors never cared, but that little conundrum danced in the back of my mind.

I always had a feeling that college wouldn't introduce me to my people. Shady Pointe was like college to me, minus the grades or the expectations. It was a pretty, secluded, party nation that the city couldn't give me in the same way.

Shady Pointe was like the endless celebration of doing absolutely nothing. There were party streamers and balloons up all the time, even if it wasn't someone's birthday. There was always something to drink or something to smoke and Christmas lights ("Christmas lights make everything nicer," as Kate had said) shining, even if it wasn't a holiday.

On hot summer nights, the less pathetic of all of us (meaning Garrett and Kate) would bring out their guitars and play all night long. On cold winter mornings, we would all hole up in Kate's place, since she had a fireplace, and drink all day long like there was nothing wrong, but in reality, everything was wrong. That was why we were here. Kate and Garrett were like the nicer reflection of Edward and I. The image I wanted Edward and I to have. Kate and Garrett didn't live together, but they seemed much more like a couple. They loved each other unconditionally, whether they were sober or not. The party never ended, though. As a group, we never all had many friends. When someone would knock on one of our doors, we'd all be utterly surprised, since we didn't really know other people.

But this party—this endless, fantastic, strange party at Shady Pointe—would be over for me. Maybe Edward, Garrett, and Kate would lose contact or not be friends anymore. Or worse: maybe they would replace me.

No, Bella, I told myself. No. They can't replace you. You've known them since all of you were eighteen. So what if you've been evicted? That doesn't mean you can't still see them.

I really needed to get my shit together.

It was then that I realized that I was still standing on one of my books. I stepped back, worried that I'd ruined it, but felt a slight sense of relief. It was just my battered copy of The Count of Monte Cristo. Huh. If only I could find treasure, become rich, and get revenge on everybody now.

I didn't know what to do, exactly, so all I could do was pick up my items and try to sort them out. This was embarrassing. Standing on the sidewalk of an apartment complex, picking up all my shit, having been evicted on my twenty-first birthday. It wasn't like anybody was watching me, since the complex was fairly vacated for the most part, anyway, but it was still just as embarrassing. I, Bella Swan, had fucked up once again.

Okay, so I hadn't paid the rent, someone could have seen me dealing weed, and I hadn't exactly kept my place very quiet, so maybe I'd had this coming, anyway. Go figure. This just sucked, though. Why did my own bad habits do all of this to me? It was so fucking annoying. I wasn't supposed to be like this. If my mother, Renee, knew what I was doing or how I was living now, she would give me a well-deserved slap in the face. I hadn't grown up in a bad household. Sure, Renee had gone through a lot of men, but I'd lived in a nice, safe home. I hadn't grown up around drugs or boys that could turn me bad or anything like that. I'd used to be a good girl.

If anyone I used to know saw me like this now, I would receive many well-deserved slaps in the face.

In a way, I wished I'd had Edward's child. Or a child in general. Who cared if it was Edward's? The landlords don't kick out people who have kids. How easy would it be to fake being pregnant now?

God, I am ridiculous.

Cursing to myself, I tried organizing some of my things. The tears of a total failure welled up in my eyes, and they had just slipped out when I heard a familiar, cocky voice speak. "What's all your stuff doing out here?"

I stood up, turned around, and was now facing Edward. Mr. Reliable… not.

"What do you think, jackass?" I asked bitterly. "What, did I give the impression that I'm moving into my truck? I got evicted."

He shrugged and lit the cigarette hanging from his lips. He was such a James Dean wannabe. "Sucks."

"Yeah, I'm out of luck, aren't I?" I asked pathetically.

"Yeah, kinda," he agreed.

"So," I said in an attempt at a nice tone, "aren't you going to invite me to move in with you?"

"You can't stay with me forever," he warned me.

I rolled my eyes. "I know, I know," I said. "Just… please? I mean, we're a couple, for one thing. Also, I'm homeless. You couldn't let me be homeless."

He shrugged. "Eh, maybe," he said easily.

My God, he is so difficult.

Desperate, I went to my knees, laced my fingers together, and looked up at him. "Edward, I am on my knees. I'm begging you. Please."

He smirked. "Who's the best man in the world?"

"You are."

"Who's the best person you've ever met?"

"You are, Edward."

Anything for his own pride.

"Alright," he said, "come on. Get your stuff."

I quickly stood up. "Any help?" I asked. "I mean, it's my birthday."

"I guess." He helped me take my items up to his apartment, which was exactly one floor above mine. A major change must have happened since the last time I'd been there, though.

Edward's apartment was disgusting, to say the least.

You see, I used to spend the night there a lot, back when Edward and I were in our on phase. We'd been off for a while now, and it was easy to say that he needed me. I wasn't particularly clean myself, but I could have sworn something had decayed in his tiny apartment.

There was trash—everywhere. There were clothes (of different genders)—everywhere. I couldn't even find a place to stand without standing on anything. This would kill Kate, but even his Christmas lights were off.

"Sorry about the little mess," he said, walking into the apartment behind me.

"How long has it been since this place was cleaned?" I asked, turning to him.

"Um… when was the last time you spent the night?"

"Fuck," I said, my eyes wide. "It's been six weeks."

"It's been that long, then."

I shook my head. Just when I thought my life sucked, Edward always proved that his life was worth. I was both annoyed and grateful at that.

I took a box into the one bedroom of the apartment—Edward's bedroom, of course—and set the box next to the mattress on the floor. The entire place smelled like weed—all the time—but his bedroom was worse. The mattress smelled of… sex and weed. Edward's lifestyle in a nutshell. That was my lifestyle, too, but at least I was a little conflicted about it. At least I didn't make that too prominent. I did it, but I didn't brag about it.

I'd tried living with Edward plenty of times before, and those had never worked out. I could only pray for things to work out now. My state of being depended on it.


A/N: *vintage Lady Gaga voice (I don't know if anyone will get this)* Hello, everybody! So, yeah, I've started a new fanfic. I keep writing these half-baked one-shots that some people seem to enjoy, but I think it's time for a story. An actual story. Since ending Gods and Monsters, I realized that I needed to do more. This is what I have. I was going to write the entire story and then slowly publish it, but that's not the case. I couldn't hide the first chapter any longer. I have part of the second chapter complete, but I'm going to redo it. Now, if anybody wants to beta this, let me know. I'd love a beta, but it's way harder to find an available one than I thought. Bleh. Any volunteers?

So with the basic story stuff, here's the deal...

-Genres include: All-human, humor, some angst, and drama. Changes will be made.

-Pairings include: some Bella/Edward, mostly Jacob/Bella, and maybe Kate/Garrett. Changes will be made.

-Rating: M for language, drug use, some sexual situations, and all that. Changes will most likely be made.

Also, this is like an alternative Destructive Desire for me. Take that as you may.

And that was the first chapter of Kinda Outta Luck, plus my opening note discussing some stuff. I'm excited to share this story, and I hope you guys (whoever's reading this) will enjoy!

(Oh, and yes, I know the cover - or lack thereof - sucks. I'll make one sometime.)

I also loooove reviews. ;)

xo, MusicTwilightLove