"Sorry, I can't think of an insult stupid enough for you, Ash Brain."

"Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent, you perverted stripper."

"If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid," Gray replied easily, leaning back against the wall. His disinterest was maddening Natsu even more, he could tell, but he didn't care.

"I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it," the pink-haired boy started, pausing for effect before continuing to say, "But don't worry. Stupidity is not a crime, so you're free to go."

"You're so dumb, I could count your brain cells on one hand," the ice mage chuckled without mirth, icy eyes boring into Natsu's, who met ice with the fire of his own gaze, "And don't cry. I'm not insulting you, buddy. I'm describing you!"

"Oh, how foolish," Natsu retorted. "Your jokes are about as funny as a dried fountain."

"Say whatever you want. At least I've been kissed before," an ugly smirk spread over Gray's face. There were amused snorts and chuckles from several of the men, and even a few of the women.

"Probably Master Bob kissed you," Natsu laughed as some of the others — particularly the guys — began cat call and whistle. Some of the guild members, who took interest in the fight, started to gather in a circle around the two boys.

"In that case I think that we could play a little game," Gray shot back with a lazy smirk. His eyes were boring into Natsu's now, an idea crossing his mind. The whistling and yells grew louder as he crossed his arms over his chest angrily, "During the next hour we'd have to try and kiss as much as possible girls. And we get points for it. The winner is the one who kissed a bigger amount of girls."

"I'll play," Natsu spat at the ground and gave his rival one last piercing glance before he spun on his heels and stalked to the door, directing towards Lucy's apartment.

"I can bet my last pair of boxers that he'll lose," the ice mage ripped his shirt and threw it at the floor. And then he was out of the building, leaving everyone in the guild shocked.


When Natsu reached Lucy's apartment, he jumped in through the window like usually.

"Oh, Natsu," the blonde smiled when she saw him. "How are you?"

"That's not what matters right now."

Lucy felt her breath hitch when he stepped closer to her. In one swift movement, Natsu pushed her back against the wall. He had a knee between her legs and both his hands were gripping her waist so that she wouldn't escape, but with the way she was frozen, it really didn't seem like the spirit mage had any intention of trying to.

"N-Natsu," she whimpered, feeling her knees begin to tremble. "W-what are you doing?"

The Dragon Slayer blew in her face, causing a few of her bangs to rearrange. She couldn't suppress a shiver at his warm breath on her ear and neck when he whispered, "Kiss me."

Lucy gasped as he said that with a grin that would make any girl swoon, even though it was slightly lop-sided. The blonde felt the hairs on the back of her neck tingle as she gulped, not liking how his face was dangerously close to her's. If it had been a romance novel, she would have fainted.

"O-okay," Lucy panted, one of her hands moving to cup his face. He raised his head, grinning wolfishly at her, his eyes dark.

"Thank you," he murmured, his voice lower and harsher than Lucy had ever heard it. "I can't wait to see the look on Gray's face when he finds out that he lost the game."

"Excuse me? " Lucy raised an eyebrow at Natsu's statement. Gray? Where did he fit in the whole situation?

"Oh, Gray and I are playing a game. We have to kiss more girls than the other one," he replied, a wide smirk spreading across his face.

Lucy froze as she felt tears come to her eyes.

What was she supposed to do in a moment like this? It was like having two different people inside of her. The rational and much more logical side of her wanted to slap him just to see that damn smirk slip from his lips. The dumber and hormone-influenced split of her was felt hurt and… used.

"You are both so immature," she mumbled quietly.

"Lucy?"

"Go to Hades, Natsu," Lucy muttered, wrenching herself from his arms. She was not going to let her emotions control her decisions. Even if Lucy liked him and this kiss was what she had been dreaming for, she deserved better than that. "I don't know what game you're trying to play with Gray here, but I don't want to be part of it. You can leave now."

"But, Lucy"

"Leave!"


"Aha! Juvia!" Gray screamed when he spotted the water mage in a grocery shop near the guild. Good. She was going to be his first target.

"Gray-sama," she squealed and accidentally knocked down an apple stand from excitement. She apologized hurriedly to the cashier and ran towards Gray, forgetting about everything else.

"Okay," he began when she reached him. "Don't freak out and listen carefully. Do you understand?"

Juvia nodded without hesitation.

"Something happened in the guild and I ended up in a game with Ugly-Face but in order to win I have to kiss as much as possible girls. You're hot and you like me, so a little kiss won't be a problem, right?" he explained, not realizing that Juvia was turning redder with every passing second.

"Juvia thinks that she is going to have a heart attack," whispered the blue-haired girl before she felt her knees hit the ground, and her vision went black.

Gray stood there for a second in disbelief, looking at the limp body lying in front of him. Damn it.

He walked towards Juvia and wrapped an arm around her waist, before wrapping the other one around her thighs. He lifted her up easily - she really didn't weigh that much - and carried her back to the guild. The game would wait a little.


"Lisanna!"

"I'm coming," a minute later Mirajane's sister opened the door. She was wearing an apron and holding a ladle in her right hand. "What's bringing you here, my idiot of a best friend?"

"Um... actually," Natsu mumbled under his nose, while biting his lower lip. He wasn't sure what to say anymore after what happened with Lucy. What if Lisanna also got angry?

"Hurry up, Natsu," Lisanna whined. "I'm making pancakes and I don't want them to get burned because of you. Come on, spit it out already. What's bothering you?"

"Will you kiss me?"

There was a minute of silence and Natsu felt really awkward because his friend was staring at him like he'd grown a third head.

"It's because of a game I'm playing with the Ice Princess," the pink-haired teen added because he was starting to feel really embarrassed.

Lisanna sighed. Then she smiled... seductively. Leaning forward, she placed a hand on his shoulder and made sure his attention was entirely on her before she let a secretive smile tip up her lips and lowered her lashes to mask her wicked glee. Licking her lips, she whispered in his ear, "I'm so sorry Natsu. I would be pleased to help you win against your biggest rival but that's the most idiotic thing I have ever heard. You and Gray are the biggest morons in this world."

She moved back again, bursting into laughter. And at that moment, for the first time in his life Natsu realized how stupid he and Gray really were.

After some minutes when Lisanna's laughter calmed down, she said, "Please, don't tell me that before you came here you were going around town, begging girls for a kiss."

"You make me sound pathetic."

"You are," and with that Lisanna started to laugh once again, forgetting about her pancakes because this situation was way too entertaining.

"Thanks for the support, bestie," Natsu mumbled sarcastically and rolled his obsidian eyes.


"Bisca," Gray smiled at his guild mate.

"What's up?" the green-haired beauty smiled.

"Can you do me a friendly favor?" Gray asked in his most innocent voice and sat next to her.

"No problem."

"Will you give me a little kiss?"

Before Bisca could open her mouth to answer, the sound of a passing bullet was heard and Gray could bet his underwear that Alzack was aiming for him.

"Y-you know w-what?" the ice mage stuttered. "Forget this ever happened."


The Fire Dragon Slayer dragged himself into the guild hall without an ounce of his normal energy, attracting the attention of some of his guild mates. Natsu sat at the bar. If Gray found out about his complete failure, he would probably never let him hear the end of it.

"Natsu, is something wrong?" Mirajane came after a few minutes, looking really worried.

"Lucy and Lisanna are confusing me."

"Really?" the barmaid asked, a twinkle in her eye. Mira smiled, getting straight to the point. "Don't be shy, Natsu. You can talk with me about that kind of stuff. We all have our love problems so there's nothing to be embarrassed of."

"Wha-?!" Natsu gaped. "Love problems? N-no! Wh-why would you even think of that?"

"Then what did you mean when you said that they were confusing you?" Mira's eyes narrowed and she leaned on her elbows, waiting for an explanation.

"I'm playing a game with the Snowman. Remember?"

The white-haired girl nodded.

"I went straight to Lucy's apartment but she didn't want to kiss me. So I decided that Lisanna was also a good choice and went to her house but when I explained her the whole situation she made fun of me," Natsu ended his tale, looking even more depressed. Mira's smile grew even wider, loving the hopelessness in his voice.

"Aw, you poor little guy," she giggled. Natsu watched in horror as her eyes danced with happiness, full of mischief. She leaned forward, enclosing the distance between their lips. He felt himself moving his head back. He could feel and smell- no… taste her breath mingling with his. "Don't worry, Natsu. I'll do you a favor and kiss you," Mira whispered with a wink.

Natsu closed his eyes and gulped, waiting for Mirajane to kiss him but instead of her lips he felt that someone grabbed his neck and lifted him up in the air.

"Only a man who is manlier than me is allowed to kiss my sister," Elfman said in a very calm voice that didn't match the murderous expression on his face. "Do you understand?"

"A-aye."


"Hey, Cana."

"Gray," the brunette purred while taking a sip from her mug.

"I need to ask you something…" the ice mage started, uneasily, thinking over his question and maybe if he should or shouldn't ask. "You heard about our little game with Natsu, right?" he blurted out as Cana stared at him with interest.

"You want a kiss, huh?" she asked, taking a swing of her barrel of beer. Gray nodded and Cana licked her lips, deciding that she wouldn't mind a kiss or two. "No problem."

Gray stepped closer to her and almost yelled in triumph. He wrapped his hands around her waist, pulling her closer. He reached out to capture a piece of her hair, twining it between his fingers. The ice-maker slowly leaned down and Cana closed her eyes.

"I'm going to kill you," a deep voice said from behind when there were only millimeters between their lips. Gray didn't have to turn around to know that Gildarts was standing there.

"SHIT!" the ice mage cursed as he pulled away from Cana as fast as he could.

"Aw, you are no fun, daddy," the brunette giggled.


Natsu saw Gajeel, Levy, Lily and Happy sitting on a table in the corner of the guild. He grinned, an idea popping in his mind, and ran towards them.

"Hey," he placed a hand around Levy's shoulder when he reached them.

"N-natsu," the bookworm stuttered in surprise, her cheeks warming up.

"What do you want, Salamander?" Gajeel snarled in irritation, glaring daggers at the Fire Dragon Slayer. Happy next to the fire mage gave a sly smile; oh, this should be really interesting.

Natsu turned around with a smug smirk. "Since sweet Levy is a very nice person, she was going to give me a kiss." With that he looked at the girl in his arms, offering her his most endearing smile. "Right?"

"No," Levy denied, but couldn't help a blush.

"Shrimp will never kiss you, idiot," the iron mage hissed.

Happy slyly grinned at Lily, who was also finding the situation really entertaining.

"You are just saying it because she will never kiss you, Gajeel," Natsu replied with a self-satisfied smile.

"Don't make me kick your ass, because you know I can."

"I'd like to see you try, bastard."

Levy blinked in confusion, her eyes flitting from Natsu to Gajeel, back and forth. Okay, what was going on? It wasn't like it was anything new that those two bickered at each other, but this time it seemed almost as if they were arguing… because of her? But that made no sense. Well, it did make sense in Natsu's case because he was trying to win points for his game with Gray, but not for Gajeel. Why would Gajeel start an argument over her? Unless he was…

No! Be sane, Levy you silly girl, she told herself, shaking her head. There was no way Gajeel could be jealous.

"STOP ACTING LIKE BABIES," she screamed when she got really annoyed with their immature behavior.

Natsu and Gajeel stopped arguing and looked at the little girl. The blunette pushed the fire mage away from her and got up. Taking the glass of orange juice from the table, she spilled it over Natsu before stalking towards the bar, leaving behind two confused mages and two laughing Exceeds.

"I'll destroy you," Gajeel growled.


"Gray?"

"Oh, hi Wendy."

"Can I help you, Gray-san?"

"Yes," the ice mage mumbled, feeling really… strange. He knew that it was absolutely wrong to ask her for a kiss but she was his last hope. "Can I kiss you?"

"W-WHAT?"

"Oh my God," another voice pitched in. Gray turned to meet Carla's angered face. "I knew it. I knew that you were a perverted pedophile! You're the most disgusting thing that ever existed on this planet."

"But"

"I'll call Erza," the white exceed said darkly and Gray took a step back. He could handle Gildarts and Alzack but not... her.

"You wouldn't."

"Oh, I would."

SHITSHITSHIT, Gray panicked and turned in the other direction, sprinting as fast as he can.


"Gray."

"Natsu."

The teens were sitting on a bench outside the guild, looking absolutely defeated.

"What happened?"

After a minute of silence, Natsu started. "Lucy kicked me out of her apartment. Lisanna made fun of me. Mira was about to kiss me but Elfman came and threatened me. Levy spilled juice all over me and because Gajeel is a lovesick fool, he got jealous and started a fight for her."

Gray grinned but didn't laugh because his situation was also bad. "Okay, I'll tell you what happened to me. Juvia fainted. Alzack tried to shot me because I asked Bisca for a kiss. Gildarts was really angry because he saw me almost kissing Cana. And Carla threatened to call Erza, and said that I'm a perverted pedophile."

Natsu smirked, happy that he wasn't the only one who failed.

There was a long period of tensed silence. The wind billowed through the trees, hushing their whispers as they sent leaves twirling down toward the ground.

"So," Gray murmured.

"So," Natsu retorted.

Gray's slender fingers snapped a crimson brown leaf out of the air and twirled it around. "I'm actually really shocked that Lucy didn't kiss you."

"Why?"

There was yet another interlude and the wind seemed to pick up, trying to fill in the silence.

"Dragneel, I've been meaning to ask you something." Gray's eyes eyes narrowed. "Do you... well, I've seen the way you act around her... do you have feelings for..."

"I don't know," Natsu responded simply.

The ice mage grinned before haltingly murmuring, "Flame Head... don't get me wrong. But you really are stupid." He snapped the crumbling leaf in half and let the wind sweep the pieces off into the blue sky.

"Why you little—" Natsu stated, but Gray cut him off.

"Be careful what are you going to say next, chicken," the stripper warned.

"Animal references now?" the fire mage muttered beneath his breath before yelling fiercely up at his rival. "Ugly cow."

"Stubborn mule!"

"Dumb goat."

Their eyes met in a silent clash, fiery and challenging before they both started laughing.

"Natsu. Gray. I've been searching for you."

The boys gasped and twirled around only to be greeted by... none other than Satan herself. The two boys clung to each other and Natsu melodramatically cried, "Ice Princess, we're gonna die. For real this time!"

Erza smiled and stepped closer. "I heard that you were playing a really interesting game, hm?" She slowly reached towards her sword and her eyes darkened. "I'm going to kill you. And then... I'm going to kill you once again. And I'll continue to do it until the end of my life."

"We have to run, Natsu. Our survival depends on it!"

Screaming the boys ran together, first out of the guild, and then down the street towards the park, and then to the forest. Gray realized he'd lost his boxers at some point and Natsu had branches hanging off his scarf, but they did not care.

Only survival mattered.


The Next Day...

"Oh, Levy-chan," Lucy whined. "He doesn't like me. I know it!"

"You want to know what I think?" the blunette furrowed her eyebrows. "You have to go and tell him that you like him. Grow some balls!"

The blonde stared at her friend for a second before she got up from the table and screamed with determination. "I will grow some balls."

The whole guild went silent. Lucy felt a blush creeping on her cheeks but she decided that there was no turning back now.

She spotted Natsu at the bar and ran towards him.

"Lucy? What was that all about?"

She grabbed him by the scarf. "Just forget what I yelled seconds ago, okay? Because... err, haha. I'm a girl. I just said that because I'm tired of being shy. I'm not a transsexual or anything, or a hermaphrodite. Haha, I always wondered how a hermaphrodite looks like but every time I picture it I feel like I'm going to puke... But that's not what I'm trying to say. Haha, funny. When I was little I wanted to meet Prince Charming and marry him because I wanted to be a princess and"

"Lucy, what are you talking about?" Natsu narrowed his eyes in confusion.

"and I wanted a castle but when I grew up I met you and forgot about that stupid Prince Charming. When I think about him now, he sounds really boring. Anyway, I was trying to say that when I met you I thought that you are arrogant, irritating, immature, good-for-nothing beast. I find your spiky pink hair really strange but it always looks so soft and sometimes I caught myself wanting run my fingers through it. Your"

"What the hell, Lucy?"

"dark eyes seem able of piercing into my soul and I feel really uncomfortable when I look straight at them. One of the most distracting things about you are your muscles. They are nice, like really nice, and visible even under your clothes, and I can't help but watch as they flex when you move. I know that I'm a hopeless romantic, and I know you might think I'm waiting for Prince Charming to come and sweep me off my feet. But you're wrong. I don't want a boring prince, I want you. You might be more like the big bad dragon in fairy tales and it's probably not allowed for a princess to like a dragon, but you're all I think about. You make me happy, whether you try to or not. You might not be perfect for others, but for me you are. And I love you more than anything," she ended, and then grabbed Natsu's elbow, and wrenched him towards her. And without a moment of hesitation, she pressed her lips against his. Natsu's eyes widened but after a second he returned the kiss. It was at first hasty and harsh but the kiss eventually melted and become more rhythmic and slow.

Every guild member felt their jaws hit the floor in astonishment.

Out of the corner of her eye, Wendy saw Erza faint.

Does that mean that I lost? Gray, on the other hand didn't look quite as pleased. He glared at Natsu and Lucy as their kiss became more intimate. Natsu's status was quickly going from 'rival' to 'evil bastard that must be obliterated at any cost.'

In order to save his reputation from doom Gray grabbed Juvia because she was standing next to him, and kissed her.

This time Mirajane fainted.

"Kissing is manly," Elfman screamed.

"Are you blushing Gajeel?" Levy giggled.

"What? No!"

"I think he is…"

"Shuttup Lily!"

"Aw, how cute."

"How adorable," Cana sighed.

"It was about time," Makarov nodded.

"I'm so disgusted by that perverted pedophile!"

"Carla, maybe I should kiss you, too."

"Go away, Happy!"


Gajeel was thinking in his room later that night and he had decided that life was not fair. Salamander kissed Bunny-Girl and The Underwear Prince kissed Juvia. But why the hell didn't he kiss Shrimp?

Fuck it.

The iron mage smirked when he decided something. Tomorrow he'd give Shrimp a kiss. Oh yeah he'd give her a kiss. One big kiss to be exact. Gihihi!


Thank you for reading!