Warning: Contains disciplinary spanking. If you do not find this acceptable please move along to stories that are more fitting of your interests. Thanks so much.

Disclaimer: All the wonderful Twilight characters that you recognize are property of Stephenie Meyer. I am very grateful that she is kind enough to loan them to us. I promise no loss of limbs or life though pain and angst along with a touch of humor, thanks to Emmy, are a given. Characters will be returned to their full upright and intact position by the end of the story.

AN: This one I entirely blame on TwilightMusicLife93. It really is not my fault, guys. I swear it. I was sitting there minding my own business when I received a link for a scene that was cut from BD1. It is a lovely scene that I know many people had longed for.. the dog bowl scene between Rosalie and Jacob. Well... the expression on Esme's face after Rose's little insult and Jacob's retaliation is priceless. I knew the moment that the video ended I was going to have to write this. It should end up being a three shot and is just a little mental break to have a bit of fun. Much to Emmett's dismay, his laughter at Rosalie getting beamed on the head by that bowl means no lovin' for him in this story so it should be pretty safe in general. Sorry, Big Guy. Better luck next time. Hope ya'll enjoy.

Quick thanks to all my readers. You guys continue to rock my world and give me the push to be better. Thanks so very very much. Also need to thank my tireless, brave and under the weather Beta, Splinter. Get yourself better soon because I can't do this without you. *hugs*

At the sound of the shower being turned off, Esme excused herself from the living room and headed up stairs with a quiet suggestion to Emmett that he might wish to find something to distract himself with if he felt that he would be uncomfortable. As the matriarch disappeared from view, Jacob glanced over at Edward while he tended to Bella in her fitful sleep, noting an odd smirk on his face. Redirecting his gaze to the brawny boy leaning on the piano he gave Emmett a questioning look.

The bruin shrugged his massive shoulders in reply. "Normally we would clear out; go on a hunt or something. The Bowwow Brigade out there, no offensive, makes that pretty much impossible. I suppose I could take the jeep and head to town, but it's still risky. I'm sure that a couple of your buddies would try to run me off the road and then things would just get really ugly." Emmett groaned a bit.

Edward shot his brother a sympathetic look. "Going into town isn't the best idea even if you could make it. As thirsty as we all are right now it's just too big of a risk to take. Carlisle would be furious and I think Rosalie can deal with being in trouble herself much better than trying to control herself if it's you in Carlisle's study."

"Hold on." Jacob waved his hand in the air to derail the current conversation. "What in the hell are you talking about? What's going on?"

A sheepish expression crossed Emmett's face. "Rosie just landed herself in some deep shit with Momma."

Jacob continued to look puzzled. "For what?"

Edward stroked Bella's damp hair as she moaned in pain. "For that little dog joke, though I'll admit that I found it rather inspiring. God knows that we needed something to break the tension."

"Esme is mad because Blondie ragged on me? What the hell? We do that all the time. It's not that big of a deal. Hell, it's fun to try to one up each other and honestly, it really is nice to have a worthy opponent for a change."

"Yeah well, Momma doesn't see it that way." Emmett ran a hand through his thick dark hair as the muffled sounds of an argument reached his sensitive ears. Things were not going to go in his mate's favor and he was beginning to find himself frustrated that he was powerless to help her. "It didn't help that she just got finished telling you that Rosie wouldn't embarrass her by doing something rude. Well you all know my Babe; always up for a challenge. Don't think she banked on that one coming back to bite her in the butt so quickly though."

Edward nodded. "She figured that the siege would give her a bit of immunity since there really is no way to leave the house. Rosalie saw an opportunity and just took it."

"With Momma's nerves on edge like they are that was a bad gamble." Emmett hung his head slightly as he shook it before a bright smile lit up his face. "That really was a good one though. Dog bowl for the family pet. Even feeding him on the floor. How brilliant was that, huh? My Rosie was on fire."

"Unfortunately, she is going to be again."

"Yeah." A worried sadness shown in Emmett's black eyes as he glanced down at his hands. "She should have known better than to tease the dog like that in front of Momma. Momma Bear don't play those types of games; not ever."

"Being rude to a guest is never advisable." The soft voice that came from the direction of the stairs drew the attention of all three boys. Carlisle stopped his descent and cringed slightly as a muted pop resounded through the house. "I wish that she had let me handle it, but at least it will be over quickly."

"What in the hell was that?"

Emmett stiffened and growled low as the sound came again.

"Emmett, I know that this is extremely difficult for you, but you must control yourself before this entire unpleasantness spirals out of control. Ask yourself, how would Rosalie want you to react? I know that you want to defend her, but think about who you are trying to defend her from."

A slightly louder crack filled the air and Emmett screwed his eyes tightly shut. Carlisle was at his side in an instant laying a reassuring hand on his son's shoulder. "She'll be fine, Em. It's nothing more than a quick reminder to keep herself in check. You know that your mother is not one to be harsh with anybody. In a few moments you can go and check on Rosalie yourself and see that she's alright. Just try to calm down."

"Is someone going to fucking answer me? What in the hell is going on in this house?"

Edward looked up from his charge and caught Jacob's eye. "Just a little Cullen justice. It's nothing for you to concern yourself with."

"Edward." Carlisle gave his first born a pointed look that effectively silenced his son. With a sigh the patriarch shook his head. "Jacob, I will ask you to refrain from using such language in this house. It's unbecoming and this is the one place that we can generally count on to find peace and serenity. I would rather not have crassness destroying that when it is most needed."

"Pops, it's not like we're in Nirvana any longer. We're smack dab in the middle of a war zone right now. I don't think a bit of cursing is going to make that much of a difference."

"It makes a difference to me, Emmett and I still expect the rules to be followed."

"Carlisle, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything." Jacob took a step toward the elder. "I'm just confused. I mean what the… what does Edward mean by 'Cullen Justice'? I never meant for Rosalie to get into trouble. Maybe I should go talk to Esme and try to …."

"No, Jacob. You are going to stay down here with us. This is between my wife and our daughter. You would be wise to stay out of it. Believe me, you did not cause Rosalie's dilemma. She knew that she was pushing her luck well before she acted."

"Dude, it was a joke. Can't anyone take a joke around here? It's no big deal."

"It was disrespectful. We are a family, Jacob and to coexist as such there are rules that must be adhered to. Honestly it isn't a huge list, but those that we have all center on one main theme and that is respect for ourselves and each other. Disrespect is generally addressed swiftly before it has a chance to get out of hand."


Emmett rolled his eyes. "Damn, but you canines really don't have a high IQ, do you?"

"Emmett Dale, what did I just say about respect, not to mention language?"

"Aw, come on, Pops. I was just stating the obvious. Seriously, how hard is it to put two and two together?"

"Not very since you can do it," Edward quipped from his position at Bella's side as he tried unsuccessfully to hide a smirk.

"Exactly!" Emmett waved his hand towards Jacob then suddenly let it fall as he turned and gave his brother a dark look. "Hey! That was not cool, Bro."

"Sorry, Em, but you left yourself wide open on that one."

Carlisle pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "That will be enough, boys." Noticing the food strewn across the floor for the first time, the elder nodded towards it. "Since you need something to keep you occupied, Emmett, how about cleaning that up? I'm sure that Esme would be happily surprised by your efforts."

The bear scrunched up his nose but nodded earning himself a pat on the back from his father.

"I'll give you a hand, Emmett. I mean, hell, it was me who threw it in the first place."

"Thanks, Muttly. You know for a howler, you aint too bad." He grinned and gave Jacob a playful shove.

Realizing that the sounds from upstairs had died down, Carlisle returned to the upper landing to check on things while promising Emmett that he would call the bruin up as soon as the coast was clear.

Emmett and Jacob made quick work of cleaning up the scattered hotdog and onions along with the bent mixing bowl itself, but the mustard smear on the carpet was proving to be a bit more problematic.

"Dude, if you're going to throw stuff make sure that it lands on the tile. It's sealed for a reason." Emmett complained as he nearly scrubbed a bald spot in the plush pile. "Damn, but I wish it wasn't this close to the doorway or we could just move a vase or something over it and no one would ever know."

"Sure, Em, because that has worked so well in the past." Edward snorted.

"That was during Momma's feng shui phase. How was I supposed to know that everything had to be in a certain place and that she would know if it was off by just a couple of inches."

Edward looked aghast. "A few inches? Are you serious, Em? You moved a sculpture three rooms down."

"It was the only thing big enough to cover the scorch mark."

"Oh damn!" Jacob grinned. "You caught the house on fire?"

"No…just the floor…and the couch… and maybe a little bit of the coffee table. It wasn't a big deal." Emmett looked away in embarrassment.

"It was a big deal when dad got hold of you. You didn't sit right for a week and you know it."

"Three days at most. Three days."

Edward cocked a brow as he stared at his big brother. "A week, Em. It is still a family record."

"Wait just a minute. Are you saying that you were…."Jacob covered his mouth to keep from laughing out loud. "Is that what was happening? Did Blondie just get…? Oh, Man, aren't you guys a little too old for that? I mean really isn't Blondie like two hundred or something? I can't believe that she still gets her ass warmed by mommy."

Emmett growled in warning. "It's not funny, Jacob and don't let Rose hear you making cracks about her age. She'll kill you and I'll be damned if I'll stop her."

"Like hell it's not funny. That is some funny ass shit right there." The boy rolled with laughter. "Big old bad ass vampires cowering because they are afraid of getting a little spanking. Shit, there are seven year olds back on the Res that wouldn't even bat an eye at the threat of such a weak ass old fashion punishment. Oh my God! Now I really have heard everything. Forget the wooden stakes, crosses and garlic; just break out a ruler and the vamps will head for the hills."

Before he knew what was happening, Jacob found himself grasped firmly by the upper arm and pulled to his feet causing him to drop the bottle of carpet cleaner that he had been holding. A sudden burning sensation engulfed his right butt cheek taking his breath away as he tried in vain to tuck his tail further under his body to protect it. He found himself released for a split second and spun around before both of his biceps were caught in that same firm grip as before.

Once his head stopped spinning from the sudden motion, Jacob realized that he was face to face with a fairly annoyed Carlisle Cullen.

"Jacob Black, you listen to me and you listen well. Just as my children are required to show you respect, I expect you to show them the same in return. I am not in the habit of disciplining another man's child, but I will make an exception if you continue to antagonize the members of my family."

Emmett raised his brows and looked over at Edward. That looked like discipline to me. What do you think?

Edward snorted softly and lowered his gaze to his suffering mate.

"Now, Rosalie will be down any moment. You will not comment on her punishment. You will not tease or provoke her in anyway. While I don't care to punish you myself, I have no problem with speaking to your father about your misbehavior. Should it continue after that; well, my lad, you will find out just why 'big old bad ass vampires fear a little spanking.' Have I made myself clear?"


"Yes what?"

"Yes, Sir. I've got it."


Carlisle released his hold on the youth and took a deep breath to calm himself while Jacob vigorously rubbed at the vicious flaming sting in his backside.

"Damn, Carlisle, you didn't have to go all ape shit like that. What the fuck?"

Jacob quickly drew back as the patriarch's forefinger pointed towards his face. "And that stops this instant. I don't want to hear it anymore, Jacob. I have a brand new bar of soap that will be over joyed to help clean that mouth up for you."

A groan from Emmett told Jacob that Carlisle was not joking. The shape shifting boy held both hands up defensively to shield himself from the irritated vampire. "No, it's okay. Lesson learned."

"I truly hope so. Now please finish with this clean up as soon as possible. You have cleaner all over the place."

"Yes, Sir." With a wince, Jacob crouched down and began sopping up the spilled cleanser with a towel while the bruin continued to work on the mustard stain.

Shooting his brother a look of amusement, Emmett grinned broadly and winked. And Dad got onto me about pointing out the dog's low IQ? Maybe now he will believe me because that was a really dumbass move if ever I saw one. I know Dumbass better than anyone.

"Intimately." Edward smiled and nodded ever so slightly before light footsteps on the stairs commanded the attention of the room.