Disclaimer – I do not own Being Human.
Okay, I felt it time for some Crumb appreciation, because although he is insane he makes me laugh and also pity him.
Right, I have made a difference between Crumb and Cram just so it's clearer which personality I am referring to.
On a side note, Cutler (though loved, was nutty) and now Crumb...Hal really does pick 'em, doesn't he?
Consumed in Flames
Crumb is fighting the flaming orc. Ian Cram is just a very scared man.
Insanity has become a very brief and weak comfort for him. It's easier to loose himself in the bloodlust and the giggling than face the reality (he's killed his sister and his niece, murdered that twat at work) it's so much easier to laugh and not care than it is to remember their faces contorted in terror…but then again, who is to say that they (his family) even liked him, no one else does, that's for sure.
Even Hal, who cursed him, made him this thing doesn't want to know…but then Ian forgets to care because Crumb is feeding and the victim who has super powers doesn't have regrets….
For brief moments, he is Ian again and he doesn't know what he is doing. He should be playing five aside (even though he is lacking a team) and he should be selling insurance at work.
He can't focus at all anymore, cannot remember basic things when the hunger gets too strong. He'll rattle to lock on his front door, forgetting he has to turn the damn thing and he is so hungry, all the time, hunger, hunger, hunger.
Maybe he'll play some games when he returns, he'll forgo the bath and wear his meal, down his shirt and across his cheeks and he'll smile as he fights the flaming orc because he is Crumb and he will always win, now at least.
He can't remember choosing to go visit Hal, couldn't remember finding out where he worked. He wanted to yell and scream and cry. He wanted to kill him, like he killed the flaming orc and make him feel as angry, scared…confused….lonely… he wanted Hal to be the victim. Wanted Hal to be lying in the road with the back of his head caved in and his ribs crushed.
He wants to have the power that Hal had over him.
He hated him, wanted him to suffer….wanted his help and comfort because he can't do this alone.
How can he walk when he can't stand? He wants to be Ian, who'll go around to his sister's for Sunday lunch and play stupid board games. Planning his future and theirs, what they'll do next week…and maybe he might have those concert tickets that's someone has been wanting for their birthday. It feels stupid now…now that they are dead….he's dead. One heart beat a minute and he swears that's stopping now…and those concert tickets; he locked them in a draw as a secret….no one will ever know until the important date.
He shreds them whilst their future owner's blood still coats his lips, he rips them into tiny shreds and scatters them across his cheap, wood imitation desk in his shitty, drab and empty house.
One minute he is ranting at Hal, the next he is almost hugging him, wanting to be close because he wants Hal to take it all away from him. Take it all back and let him die in the road.
He'll wake up in the night, screams ringing in his ears. Horrors, that he has committed, the fear he has inspired in poor, poor people…people like him who'll run away in blind panic and get hit by a car…and he'll hear his own screams of terror too.
Sometimes it'll be Crumb who will wake up from those nightmares, grinning, wet and sticky needing to change the sheets.
Other times, Ian will wake up; face wet and sticky with hot tears. Bizarrely, he has no shame with either persona, but when Ian wakes up he wants someone to tell him it will all be fine and tell him that it's okay….it's okay. But it's not.
But he can't think of his lovely sister and his only niece, not when they were so warm and he is still digesting them, and….
Ian wasn't made for this life, he isn't strong enough…wasn't strong enough might be a better word…Ian was killed in a car crash and Crumb…well he was born out of a car crash…in more ways than one….
He, if only for a few seconds a day, is Ian Cram and he is very scared of what he has become.
A/N – So what do you think? Show Crumb some love? Or me? I would prefer me and all you have to do to please me is leave a review? Thanks :)