Warnings: this story contains explicit rape/non-con, some violence, incest (or pseudo-incest, whichever)
Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers or Thor or Loki (unfortunately... or fortunately for them, I'm not very nice XD)
As I've read other authors say: Don't like, don't read. I've given fair warning, please don't complain about the content; just don't read it.
A/N: Wrote this little one-shot in a few hours, not sure where it came from. I must admit Thor is somewhat OOC, but I'm more inclined to say it's an "alternate character interpretation" lol. I guess you could call him dark!Thor, but he's more like darkonlytohisbrother!Thor. Creepy. Even I think so. Loki might be OOC, it's hard to say; I guess it depends on your opinion of canon!Loki.
Well anyway, enough of my rambling, to the story...
This Sun I Call My Brother
Loki finally arrived, having spent far too much time out in the open, his efforts to teleport himself to his 'lair' - as Stark had once called it - less than effective with his magic spent. He had managed to teleport close enough, though, and had walked the rest of the way.
This part of the city, so near the murky water, was largely abandoned, with warehouses that stood ominously quiet in the afternoon sun. The trickster god had transformed one of the larger 'offices' into a home using his magic, and it was adequate enough for now - furnished and subtly decorated to his tastes. The main living space was shared with a kitchen area, and the bedroom - small though it was - stood beyond an open door to the right. The single washroom connected to both rooms. There were no windows; he had no need of them. All the better to keep his humble abode a secret, anyway.
The god of mischief slumped down on his leather beige couch, ready to sleep for the next few days - although he hoped it wouldn't take quite that long to regain his magical reserves. His helmet's horns hung over the edge of the couch, and Loki absently wondered why he didn't remove it while he slowly drifted into sleep.
It was during a fitful dream concerning horses that for some reason had the skin of frost giants, that Loki heard the distinctive crack of his door being forced open and slamming against the concrete behind it. He jerked up immediately and was greeted by something he really wasn't in the mood for right now.
Loki sighed and relaxed back into the soft leather. "Thor," he grumbled. How did he find me? He heard the thunder god stomp loudly across the white-tiled floor toward him, saying nothing. Strange, Loki thought. He stared at the ceiling, not quite yet willing to look at his once-brother. "What do you want, Thor. I'm a little busy at the moment, come back when-" a rough hand was suddenly around Loki's throat as he was jerked up and off the couch, suddenly staring eye-to-eye with the - this can't be good - apparently enraged Thor. The hand was squeezing tightly but Loki managed a few words anyway, "Can I- Can I help you, brother?" He tried futilely to release Thor's grip, but, as usual, to no avail. What does he want? The fact that Thor had said nothing so far was beginning to unnerve Loki. The look in the thunderer's eyes was even worse.
"Why did you do it?" said Thor finally, his voice low with barely contained anger.
Loki frowned. "Do what?" asked his scratchy voice. That apparently was the wrong answer, since Thor's grip tightened even more. The trickster desperately grasped at the angry god's armor with panicked hands, "Thor-" he barely choked out. His eyes watered and he couldn't see clearly. Why? he wondered, but was too busy trying to breathe to even attempt to decipher his not-brother's very foul mood.
Suddenly the hand let go, dropping the younger god unceremoniously on the hard floor. Loki fell on his knees and heard the metal of his helmet hit the floor for a moment. He coughed and gagged, trying to regain his composure - and to quickly figure out what had angered the thunder god so.
The battle? Loki wondered. He sifted through his memories, trying to find any reason that would explain the obvious rage. But before he could finish running through the day's events once more, Thor pushed Loki onto his back with a foot, as said foot then rested on the side of the trickster's - fortunately - helmeted head.
"Do you not even remember?" seethed Thor. Remember what? Loki wanted to say, but decided it was best to keep silent lest he provoke Thor's ire even more. He stared at the base of his couch, certain that his once-brother would soon explain.
Unfortunately, his silence seemed to have the opposite effect as he felt the boot lifted, and a knee push down on his chest a moment later as Thor leaned over him.
"Were they so insignificant that you do not even remember, brother?!"
Loki was forced to stare at Thor when a hand harshly moved his chin forward to meet the lightning blue eyes. The two stared for a moment - Loki confused and Thor angry. Finally, the younger god found his words, "Thor... I-" he coughed, then swallowed. "I haven't a clue as to what you're talking about..."
Thor's gaze narrowed, but he did not move from his position. He bared his teeth as he spoke. "The innocents - the civilians - you killed... Or are they so beneath you that any injury made to them is forgotten a moment later?"
Loki maintained his confusion for a moment, then it hit him. Innocents? Civilians..? The last part of the battle... He had forgotten, but not because they were insignificant. But of course Thor didn't realize. Didn't realize that once Loki's magic lowered to a certain point, even his memory was affected - if temporarily. It always took great effort on his part to remember everything until his magic was fully restored. In the past he had, on several occasions, done things that he hadn't remembered until later.
But this... he now understood Thor's anger. Loki had been fighting with Captain America alone as the other Avengers were otherwise occupied. The melee had taken the two to the streets in the city and the only reason for that was because the trickster didn't wish to expend any more energy on spells when he could just as easily pummel the Captain with his fists. As the fight was coming to a close, the Captain spoke aloud - no doubt through whatever communication system the Avengers used - and acknowledged that Thor was on the way. Thor... Loki couldn't have handled Thor - especially without his magic. After a hit from the Captain's strangely colored shield, Loki was facing away from him. At the news of Thor's impending arrival he - as loath as he was to admit it - panicked somewhat, and had released a bolt of magical energy meant for the Captain. He had made a mistake, though, doing the exact thing that he had been taught countless times in the training circle not to do: he fired without identifying his target first. Some civilians, who were no doubt as panicked as he, had decided to cross the street at that very moment, and had been caught in the crossfire. The Captain had leapt to their aid, taking most of the force with his shield, but the energy had no doubt still severely injured the fragile mortals. A moment later Loki had teleported himself away, too tired and with little other recourse but to run, the battle obviously lost.
And now... Now Thor was... angry. No, that wasn't right. He wasn't just angry, he was livid, enraged, incensed. This wasn't good.
Loki stared up at Thor; he could almost feel the aura of the enraged god of thunder hovering over him. And Thor's face... It had been a long time - a very long time since Loki had seen that face, and it had never before been directed at him... until now.
Loki swallowed. Do the mortals mean that much to him? Even the ones he doesn't know?
The thunderer was breathing hard, teeth bared, eyes narrowed to slits of rage. Loki tried to wring the memories out of his mind, how many had there been? An image jumped out, of three humans; one elderly man, one woman about Stark's age, and a young woman barely into adulthood. They were huddled together, afraid, so surprised...
He winced at his own stupidity, why hadn't he looked first? Killing common mortals was not something Loki made a habit of doing - they were beneath him. Barely worth noticing. Why should he go out of his way to harm a few insignificants who were no match for him? What would it gain him to kill them? And what would it hurt him to let them live? Surely Thor knew this...
The look in the older god's eyes told him the answer to that question.
"Thor," Loki held up both hands in surrender - and as a means to protect his head easier should the need arise. "Thor, I can assure you, it was not my intention to harm the mortals. They were simply in the way..." Loki belatedly realized that was perhaps not the best choice of words.
"In the way?" Thor growled through his teeth.
"Well," Loki continued with a small placating smile, determined to explain. "What I mean is-" Thor suddenly grabbed him by his armor and lifted him up, then threw him against his kitchen island as Loki felt his spine aching against the stone top. He gritted his teeth. "Thor!" The thunder god grabbed him by the neck again and slammed him even harder against the counter as he heard the distinctive crack of stone and slowly splintering wood. "Thor, wait-!" And next he was flying across the room, then hitting with a clang of metal as his helmet slammed into the far wall near his bedroom's open door.
His thankfulness of his helmet lasted until he felt a sharp tug on it, as Thor had grabbed one of the horns and was jerking him this way and that, moving him across the floor on his arms and knees. Loki tried to jerk away, but the blonde's grip was determined, tugging him along. He next tried to pull the offending metal off, but he had designed it to be tight around his head, using his magic to spirit it away when he no longer needed it. Unfortunately, he couldn't get rid of it with Thor still touching it.
They stopped. Loki wasn't about to let the opportunity go, so he spoke as best he could against the floor. "Look, Thor, I can explain. I didn't do it intentionally-"
"Enough of your lies, Loki!" Thor forced Loki's face lower as the trickster felt the cold floor against his skin, the forced prostration - and therefore lack of knowledge of his surroundings - sending a tingle of fear through his body. "Why do you never learn?" continued Thor. The front of the gold helmet now scraped against the floor. "Why must you always fight, never letting me in?" The words might have been somewhat reassuring if not for the anger that still dripped with every single word.
Loki gave a muffled protest, unable to do much else, his hands splayed out in a futile effort to push upward. He couldn't teleport away - and not for any single reason. Not only was his magic all but depleted, but Thor was hanging on to him - if he teleported now, he would bring the thunderer with him. If only he would let me speak!
"But no more, brother," said Thor, suddenly calm. The shift in attitude made Loki shiver. "You must learn. You must be punished." Punished? A knot was beginning to grow in Loki's stomach. "This world is under my protection - you cannot simply do as you please, when you please. I have had enough." There was silence for but a moment. "And since you are my brother," Thor was closer now, leaning down. "It is my duty and my right to correct your flawed thinking." Correct my flawed thinking? What's gotten into Thor? The knot in his stomach was growing, spreading through his body, causing him to tremble when he desperately didn't want to.
Suddenly the pressure of being pushed down was gone; Thor had let go of his helmet. Even though Loki couldn't quite sigh with relief yet, he nonetheless magicked his helmet away, glad to be rid of the stifling metal. He only had a moment to lift his head up when there was a titan hand on the back of his neck, keeping him down. His flinched at the sudden touch as his face was once again forced against the cold floor. At least this time he could turn his face to the side, enough to speak at least.
"Thor, please," he rasped out. "I hadn't meant to harm the mortals-"
"Kill, Loki! They died!"
"Yes! I mean... I-I am sorry, I..." he wasn't certain what to say now even though he could, his silver-tongued words escaping him suddenly. "It was an accident!" he blurted out as he felt the grip on his neck tighten. "I didn't mean to-"
"More lies!" Thor bellowed. "Why can you never accept responsibility for your actions, brother?!"
"Even as children you always preferred a lie, even when the truth would have saved you from further punishment."
Did I? "But, Thor, I-"
"But I have had enough of your lies, Loki." The smaller god heard a strange clinking noise as he felt Thor move a little. What now? Then he felt himself being tossed on his back. The thing in front of his face told him what the metallic sounds had been.
"No..." Loki shook his head sharply, not even realizing he had spoken. In one hand Thor held the metal muzzle that the Avengers had placed on him after he had been captured. Thor's other hand went around Loki's throat as it kept him from moving away. "Thor wait..." Loki pleaded. "I- I told you, it was an accident-" But the muzzle was nearing, words wouldn't form in his mind. What will he do to me? His mind worked even as his tongue failed him. If I cannot speak... Even without his magic and severely injured Loki still had one more weapon left; if it were to be subdued, he was all but helpless. Even if his magic and his strength were usually insufficient to defend against Thor, his words more than made up for those shortcomings. A well-placed word and a teary-eyed expression often gave the trickster god a power few ever had: to soothe the ever-temperamental god of thunder.
But now it would be impossible. "Thor, please-" was all that Loki managed before the click of metal against metal at the back of his neck told him the device was now locked. Unremovable except by Thor's hand.
The cold and sharp metal depressing his tongue was all-too familiar, harsh reminders of his time in Asgard's dungeons. He couldn't help the small whimper that escaped as he stared at Thor with as much a pained expression as he could manage. He wanted to tell himself it was a lie, that he was trying for sympathy - but then that would be a lie, he truly was afraid.
Two hands were now forcing him to stand; one once again on the back of his neck and the other around his right arm. Thor stood behind him. It wasn't until now that Loki realized they were in his bedroom - Thor must have dragged him in here when he still had a grip on his helmet.
His entire body moved stiffly in anticipation of whatever punishment Thor would mete out. What could it be? And when he felt himself being led - ever so quickly - toward the bed, he immediately clamped down on the stray and terrifying thought that entered his head. He wouldn't- The side of the bed hit his knees; he could feel them shaking against it. The bed was still made from yesterday, dark green and satin-smooth, but now, it may as well have sprouted teeth and glowing red eyes for the look that Loki was giving it. He wouldn't, he can't. He stared at the bed, unblinking. No, of course not. No- I- he won't-
Even when Thor pushed him onto the bed, Loki didn't believe it. He's not going to- No no no he's not going to... can't won't no no no... He was on his back, the ceiling and Thor the only things in his vision when he felt uncaring hands roughly removing his leather armor. He was too numb to move, to fight back, to even think. He refused to acknowledge what was happening.
Then suddenly he was... cold. He absently wondered how a frost giant could be cold. He felt the familiarity of his soft sheets at his back, and equally familiar hands doing unfamiliar things.
Loki dared a glance at his once-brother. Thor's face was a strange mixture of staunch determination and distanced anger, as though the mask he now wore - quite a feat for the Odinson, really - was all that was holding the tide of dangerous emotions at bay. The trickster made a muffled sound to get the thunderer's attention, his hands lightly going to the muzzle around his face. Please, brother, what are you doing? he wanted to say. Thor's eyes did meet his, but they were relentless and cold, his normally sky-blue eyes meant for summer suddenly changed to match the eternal winter of Jotunheim. Loki shivered and shrunk away at the sight.
When Thor moved Loki onto his stomach, the trickster froze. Before now it didn't seem real; a big part of him was sure his big brother would suddenly let him go, would say he didn't mean it, that it was just a warning, a way to scare the liesmith into obedience. A 'Don't do it again' and a 'Look what I could have done' and perhaps a 'Next time I won't show mercy'.
But no. That wasn't about to happen, was it? This was real. The man who called him brother was about to do the unthinkable.
Loki felt a single tear cross his face and something in him suddenly snapped. No! He can't do this to me! He has no right, no matter what he says! The smaller god began to struggle as he felt Thor straddle his backside - more of a way to hold him down than anything. He can't do this! It was an accident! Loki tried to scream at Thor, to reason with him, even with the offending mask on his face. Damn this metal contraption! He tried to pull at the bed, to get out from under Thor, but strong hands gripped both his wrists and held them fast. And now suddenly panic ran through him. No no no no, please! Let me go! His muffled protests were in vain but he couldn't help it. He continued to struggle uselessly against his captor, trying to throw the larger god off. The heels of his feet hit Thor's back, but they did nothing but annoy the thunder god, no doubt. Both his arms were suddenly pulled back - Loki's strength insignificant compared to Thor's - just as his wrists were held together with one hand. The mischief god growled into his muzzle; that was something that had always annoyed Loki when wrestling with Thor, the older god was always able to hold both of Loki's wrists with one hand no matter how much he struggled and fought.
But Loki's body stiffened the moment he felt Thor's other hand moving his legs, spreading his thighs apart. No... Thor's knees were astride his thighs and it wasn't the best position to force the trickster's legs open. So Loki closed his legs, determined to fight at every turn. He heard Thor sigh above him. He felt the older god moving, and Loki tried his best to crane his neck to see what was going on. But of course... Thor - whilst still holding Loki's wrists - settled on his knees between Loki's legs and forced the younger's legs open again.
Thor suddenly jerked on Loki's wrists, pulling him backward and forcing him to arch his back painfully. The trickster made a muffled pained noise, but otherwise stayed quiet.
"Continue to fight me, brother, and this will be more painful than it needs to be." Loki mentally scoffed at Thor's words. 'Than it needs to be...' Needs. As if this were a simple lesson that the god of mischief needed to learn in order to behave. Thankfully Thor let him back down, but didn't let go of his wrists.
When Thor used his free arm around Loki's waist to hoist him up onto his knees, Thor's words about not fighting back seemed less and less relevant. But even so, what could he do? If he struggled more what would Thor do as punishment? What could be worse than this? Loki wasn't sure he wanted to find out, but the urge to get away was growing quickly, and he wasn't certain he could-
The sudden warmth of Thor's very obvious erection on his backside made Loki's mind go blank. The light nudging against him made the trickster dizzy and he would have tipped over on his side if not for Thor's hand holding his arms behind him. The world spun and he felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. He took in short, sharp gasping breaths threw his nose, certain he would pass out any moment from lack of air.
"Breathe, Loki," came a slow and low voice behind him. Loki momentarily forgot who was speaking, who was about to assault him, until he did remember and he let out a pained whimper at the thought. No... please don't, brother...
Then without warning Thor was inside him, so suddenly, piercing pain that made his vision go black for a few seconds. He heard his own voice for a moment, something ripped out of his throat along with his breath.
He didn't know how deep his brother had gone but it felt like all the way, tearing him open with the agonizingly swift movement. Loki was gasping, wheezing for air that he couldn't find no matter how much he needed it. He felt a warm hand on his chest suddenly. "Breathe, brother... breathe." Loki shook his head weakly. I can't, he wanted to say, I can't... Thor hadn't moved, he had stopped hilt-deep inside Loki and the trickster couldn't even form thoughts at the situation. The only thing that did respond were his tears as they began falling and soaking the bed beneath his face.
He continued to wheeze in and out until Thor began to move, pulling out slowly. He once again held his breath, the pain blinding him to all else.
When finally he was free of Thor he inhaled deeply, trying his best to control his breathing. Unfortunately, his involuntary reaction was to also start crying uncontrollably, knowing it wasn't over. He shook his head 'no' and sobbed, wishing he could beg his brother not to continue. 'No more' he wanted to say. When he felt the tip of Thor's manhood touching him again he jerked forward and sobbed loudly, but barely made it an inch since he was still held tightly in the blonde's grip. Without delay, Thor pushed in quickly once again, forcing him open with the thrust. This time Loki was more aware and expecting it, but the muffled scream that erupted from his throat was no different than the first. This time Thor paused for only a moment, then pulled back out a little, then back in again.
Loki felt like his insides were on fire, and he also realized the wetness that now flowed down his thighs was probably his own blood. He hid his face in the covers as best he could as he cried openly, wishing the pain and humiliation to be over.
The thunder god began pounding more steadily, but the pain didn't lessen. If anything it became worse, since he thrust in so forcefully that Loki wondered if he might be pushed off the bed at any moment. Thor paused a moment, then rearranged his grip on Loki's wrists, holding him tighter. He then used the grip on the trickster's arms as leverage to have more control over the thrusts and to go deeper.
Loki cried and waited, and cried and waited. When would it ever end? He felt like his insides had been pounded into mush and the blood that now flowed down his thighs was surely proof of that. His entire lower body was cramping up. Please stop please stop, I can't take anymore. But the thunder god seemed determined to prolong the assault as long as possible, and Loki hoped that he would pass out soon. Instead he began to feel sick in his stomach, oh no no no... He knew what would happen if he vomited. I will not vomit. I will not vomit. He concentrated on the thoughts, and tried desperately to ignore the pain in his body. If he vomited now he would surely drown in it. What a horrible way to go. I will not vomit. I. will. not. vomit. No I will not, I won't I won't. He clenched his eyes shut and ignored the ache in his stomach. And he breathed, he breathed. After a while it seemed to work, the sick feeling in his stomach subsiding, replaced with unimaginable pain everywhere else. It never went away completely, but he could manage it.
While Loki's mind had been wandering, he didn't realize that Thor was now leaning over him, the thunderer's stomach touching Loki's hands, and that he was growling loudly as he spilled inside the trickster. Loki shut his eyes and endured the pain that followed, as Thor's seed burned his damaged and bleeding insides. Is it over? Please, please let it be over, Loki pleaded as he felt the disgusting stickiness slide down his thighs, mixing with his blood.
He could feel nothing but agony, but he did manage to feel Thor sliding out of him. Loki was still crying, but not as hard as before and he wondered if Thor would take the infernal muzzle off so he could breathe better. But while the blonde did release his hold on Loki's arms, he instead pushed him flat onto the bed with his weight, the thunder god's chest against the trickster god's back.
Loki whimpered at the sudden weight pushing down on him, but had no strength left in order to fight back, even with his hands free. He just laid there and concentrated on breathing - and hoping and praying that his punishment was over.
"Brother..." came Thor's rough voice so close to his ear. He could see the thunderer's darkened face at the corner of his eye, leaning over him, blonde hair obscuring his expression, so close - too close. The warmth covering his body was so stifling, so suffocating. Loki wanted to run away, to be done with it.
He felt movement at the back of his head, then realized Thor was removing the muzzle. Why now? Is it truly over? He didn't dare hope... As soon as the cursed metal was removed from his mouth, Loki tried to speak, only to spit blood on the bed beneath him and gasp and cough at the sudden release.
"Brother," said Thor again, expression still guarded and darkened by shadows.
Loki coughed some more and caught his breath, determined to at least say something. "Thor." He coughed once, eyes clenched shut. "Brother- please..." He sobbed once, "Let me go?" More tears fell, he didn't feel them.
"No, Loki." Thor's words sent waves of despair and pain through Loki's body- his mind. He began crying again, sobbing uncontrollably.
The smaller god buried his face in the bed, shaking his head 'no' as wet tears streaked the covers even more. "Please don't say that, don't say that..." Those words had haunted him for so long- It didn't matter what Thor meant by those words, Loki didn't even remember what he had said to garner that response, what mattered was that Thor had said those words. That he had hurt him now. That his older brother had hurt him as much as his father had. That all the words of supposed love had been for nothing, had been false, a lie told as skillfully as though the liesmith himself had weaved it.
Loki, god of mischief and chaos, continued sobbing into his own bed. He couldn't stop even if he wanted to, his whole world shattered. It was in this moment, with the weight of his brother at his back that he realized something. Something that he had been blind to no matter what had happened since his fall from grace. He did love Thor, he did love his brother. Or... he had... And having it ripped away so harshly by that very person...
Loki didn't know what to do with himself, so he cried. And when he had no more tears, he laid motionless, blank, staring at nothing. He didn't feel Thor lift off of him, nor the words the thunderer spoke. He hadn't felt the tears that had fallen on him that weren't his own, nor the blanket that covered him as he shivered in the cold that shouldn't have affected him.
But he did feel the cold, and he didn't know why. He'd lost the sun he used to orbit, lost in the dark to tremble alone.
A/N: I'm not likely to continue this past this one-shot, but I've thought about it. Not sure it would work, though, might be too angsty. Given the explicit and disturbing nature of this fic, it might get taken down. If that happens you can find it on AO3.
Well, I hope you've enjoyed this fic! (or been creeped out by it).
A/N 2: As a side note, I'm aware that some of you might think Thor is overreacting to the three people killed (given that Loki's already killed so many during the movie). But remember, he assumes Loki's lying and it appears to him that Loki did it on purpose, as though he were just spiting Thor or the Avengers, and that there was no real motive behind it. Also, Thor's just fed up with all of Loki's antics and the killing of civilians was the last straw. I'm not defending his actions, but I prefer there to at least be some logic behind why he does something so horrible. Also... dark!Thor, ya'know? ;)