Rob's My Last Yummy Birthday Tot

(a birthday party gone tragically wrong)

by ThreeHotPotatoes

A/N: If you read our first collaboration, you already know this will be a bit "out there"...consider yourself warned! And now, without further ado, a birthday drabble tribute to RobsmyyummyCabanaboy from her three hot potato friends. We know...we shouldn't have.



"So..., Edward, what are the plans for Bella's birthday tonight?" Alice blathers.

"Alice, you know she hates birthdays. Especially since fuckface over here ruined it last year," I say, jerking my thumb over my shoulder toward where Jasper sits at my kitchen table stuffing his face full of food he scavenged out of my fridge.

"Dude, it wasn't my fault. I tripped over the coffee table. Who buys a coffee table made out of glass? You can't see the damn thing. It's like putting your beer bottle in space!" Jasper growls around a mouthful of day-old deer, blood running down his chin.

I roll my eyes and ignore him as I always do.

"Well, we're doing something," Alice spouts. "So someone decide something soon. We don't have much time!"

"The roller rink?"

"The bowling alley?"

"The strip club?"

"We could always take her to the amusement park."

"I've heard really good things about the new place over by the mall. They have a mechanical bull right in the middle of the dining room."

I stare at them with my mouth hanging damn close to the floor.

"She's not turning twelve!" I shout, trying to figure out why the hell I'm voluntarily family members with these people.

A/N: The story will post throughout Yummy's birthday. Enjoy! XX THP