Hey there! Welcome to my story, it's set to the song 'Fade to Black' by Metallica. The idea to start writing this came to me when I was actually playing the song on my guitar, and I immediately started penning it. Each chapter is going to be based around one verse of the song, and when the song runs out, the story ends! :3 I'll be writing the same story from Penny's PoV when this is done, using the song 'Nothing Else Matters' by Metallica. Whether this fic has a happy ending or not, I haven't decided yet, let me know in a review on how you'd want the story to end, I'll write the last few chapters based around the feedback I get, and the sequel/ other half will be written based on your guys' feedback!

Hope you enjoy it!


DISCLAIMER: I own nothing,(Except my fictional deluded writing!) not 'The Big Bang Theory', nor 'Fade to Black'/Metallica or anything associated with either party.

Life it seems will fade away

The light was so bright, it was blinding. His legs were numb, his body was numb, his arms were dead, and Leonard couldn't feel anything, except for his breaking heart. It was being torn apart, agonisingly slow. As the breath started to drain from within his body, a wave of nauseating cold ran over him, leaving him shivering. He could see the blood, his blood on his carpet, it was a mess, but he didn't care, it wasn't going to be his problem after the next few minutes.

Drifting further everyday

Weeks had passed since Penny had left him for the second time, and as everyday passed, he felt himself becoming weaker, less tolerable and angrier. Life was against him, he had never felt warmth in his youth, never been shown appreciation from his family, never been congratulated, no one had ever been proud of him. No one had ever said that they'd loved him.

Not even Penny.

Even as he lay dying, Leonard hadn't heard the words 'I love you' being directed at him once, but he didn't care anymore, he was too far gone.

Getting lost within myself

Death stared at him, telling him to let go, he was completely ready, but somewhere, some part of him fought, his conscious mind tried to fight back, swinging manic punches at his subconscious, screaming at it to let him stop feeling pain, to let him stop living a ridiculed joke of a life. But he couldn't; he had lost, for now. He resigned himself as he was forced to carry on with his shallow breathing, until his rebellious soul was forced to give up, once Leonard had finally stopped breathing. He didn't know how long he'd been here, judging by the size of the pool of the ruby red life essence, an hour, maybe a bit longer, seemed like a reasonable estimate. But he didn't care, it'd be over soon.

Nothing matters no one else

He could hear the opening of the door, the smashing of the glass, and the faint feeling of some of it burying itself in his back, but he was too weak to look up. The soul piercing scream of a female woman echoed throughout his body, it chilled him even more, it was blood curdling. It burnt his ears. But he didn't care; there'd be silence before long.

I have lost the will to live

He remembered a happier place, to try and pass the time before he met his maker, and as much as he tried to focus on the highs of his career, he couldn't because of two reasons, the first being that every time he looked over his own work highlights, he saw Sheldon's face, venomously telling him that he was nothing, that his career held no meaning, that he'd never make a contribution to science. But as easy as it was to ignore that, Hell, he'd been doing it for 10 years, the second reason was that his mind kept wondering over to Penny, and the memories that they had. He remembered the first time they had taken a photo together, how they'd both made it their Facebook profile photo. He remembered the first Christmas they'd spent together, and how they'd exchanged gifts, and the look of pure euphoria on her face as she had held the diamond necklace up to the light. He would miss those, he thought sadly to himself. But he didn't care; there was nothing he could do about it anymore.

Simply nothing more to give

He had wanted to go on, oh so badly, to have a child, and see him grow up to be great, to wave him off to college, to see him marry, and to have children of his own. He wanted to have a wife, one he could be truly loved by, he had wanted a house in the country, friends that weren't geniuses, and he'd longed for a stable life, one without raging depression. But nothing worked, whenever he'd tried to move on, Penny would waltz into his head, sending him spiralling downwards. He hadn't wanted to die, he was scared, he'd wanted to grow old, he'd wanted to see string theory discovered, and he'd wanted to be with Penny.

But he didn't care anymore, she was gone, and soon he would be too.

There is nothing more for me

He opened his eyes; his vision had started to become blurred. He could feel hot hands on him, but they didn't make him any warmer. He could feel his body being lifted, and he could feel the stabbing pain in his lower stomach, where he'd plunged a steely blade into earlier, and he could feel the vomit start to rise in his throat. He could hear the tears and screams of a female, and he could just make out the one responsible for the noises trying to break free from an iron grip, he could see her flailing her arms, her eyes slowly moving to lock onto his, and in that moment everything stood still, including her. He could make out tears streaming down her face, and severe shakes racking through her body. With all the strength he could muster he lifted his head, and after making sure it was Penny, he smiled, and mouthed a single word to her, 'Goodbye'. The world came crashing back to him, and Penny immediately started to fight against the man holding her again, she screamed his name for him to stay with her, that she needed him. But still no mention of love, she just wanted a friend, and as much Leonard had tried, he couldn't. But he didn't care anymore; she wouldn't miss him for long.

Need the end to set me free

He could barely take the pain. He was gritting his teeth as the world spun around him, the numbness was gone, and had been replaced by the burning hellish fire in his stomach, he was awake, the paramedics had been keeping him awake, trying to do all they could to keep him in the land of the living. Leonard felt the vehicle moving, he could hear sirens blaring, and he could see paramedics surrounding him, shouting at him, pressing on his wounds to stop the bleeding.

But he couldn't take it any longer; the intolerable agony he was feeling physically was only matched by the emotional strain of seeing the woman he loved in so much pain.

But he didn't care anymore; she didn't love him. Did she?

See you soon with Chapter 2!

Please review! :D