~Dark Come Soon~
Chapter One ~ Problems
Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious or any of the characters from the show.
Warning: Some things may not match the show perfectly but for the most part it will.
I'm having one of those days where literally everything goes wrong. First, my mom decided she would wake me up 15 minutes before my alarm goes off, I'm sure for no reason other than to piss me off. Those 15 minutes do make a difference. Second, I'm in the shower washing my face and soap gets in my eyes making me spend extra time trying to rinse my burning eyes making the water turn cold before I finish. On my way to the car, someone decided it'd be funny to NOT pick up their dog shit when it went in my yard. Of course I step in it. I get to school and my favorite teacher, Mr. Sikowitz, is out today. His class is one of the few things I look forward to each day. Class still went on but it wasn't the same with the sub. Did I mention Beck was shooting me daggers the entire time?
Now, here I am at the lunch table and the bonehead Robbie just spilled his water bottle all over me. Normally, I'd scream his head off and probably give him a look that would make him scared to come to school for the rest of the week. I'm sure that's what he's waiting for.
"Jade, I am so sorry! It was an accident, I swear! I am so so sorry," he pleaded with me. He looks as if he's about to cry.
"Whatever." I look around at everyone's faces. Shock on every single one, mouths hanging open. Robbie asks if he can get me some napkins but I just look away before getting up and going to the bathroom. What is with me today? I don't feel like myself.
I'm standing by the hand dryer with the bottom of my shirt underneath the hot air blowing out when Tori comes in. She's the last person I want to see right now. Her perkiness and happiness from her perfect life just irk me to no end. It's not fair that everything in someone's life can go right. Even when I think some bad luck is finally coming her way, it turns into something good.
"What Vega? Can't you just use a different bathroom when I'm in here?" I spat at her. I don't even look at her reaction.
"Jade, I came to see if you are alright… back there, when you didn't freak out on Robbie, well, that wasn't like you," she hesitated. "I just wanted to make sure nothing's wrong."
"Well, sucks for you. Everything's wrong. And you can't fix anything so just go back to your happy life and stay out of mine."
"What's wrong, Jade? You can tell me."
"Like I would tell you any of my problems. Get lost."
"I want to help you. Something must be really wrong for you to just walk off and not torture someone after they spilled stuff on you. You looked so sad." I looked at her and I could tell she actually meant it when she said she wanted to help me. But she couldn't help me. No one could but especially not her. She's one of the problems.
"Tori, I mean it, I don't want your help. Leave me alone." I gave her a dark look, hoping she'd get scared and give it up.
"No, I won't." Of course not. She never makes anything easy.
"You can't force a person to tell you anything, Vega. Want to know what's wrong right now? My problem right now is that a really annoying person that I very much dislike won't just let me be. I'm going to class now." With that I walked out and went to my next class. I couldn't really help but feel a little guilty about being so mean when I believe she was genuinely concerned. Nevertheless, I was always rude to her, so I'm sure she's fine with it.
I entered the Chemistry room and got ambushed right away by Beck. He asked me if I was alright as we walked to our lab table. We broke up about 2 months ago and he's been trying to act like my friend ever since. I tried to get my lab partner switched but the bitchy teacher told me there's no one else to work with. I did have to option to work alone, but I figured it'd be best to just stay with Beck than have a bigger workload. Did I mention Chemistry is not one of my strong points?
I just wanted this day to end. I wanted to go home, watch some shitty after school television, work on writing my musical and take a nice long relaxing bath. When I thought about it, the way this day was playing out, having a good rest of the day seemed highly unlikely.
When the bell finally rang to say I was relieved was an understatement. I let out a deep sigh and Cat gave me a look of sympathy. Cat was airhead, but she's been my best friend for years. She knows when I'm upset, and when to attempt to cheer me up and when to leave me to myself. For that, I was very grateful .
"I'll see you tomorrow, Jade. Have a good night!" She said cheerily.
I gave her a weak smile. "Bye Cat."
I pulled in the driveway and walk to the back door. We never used the front door for some reason unknown to me. I always tell myself I want to start using it, it would make more sense, but habits are hard to break. I look at my tire swing in my backyard. My dad hung it for me when I was 6. I spent many hours when I was younger swinging back and forth and spinning in circles. He used to always come home from work and give me a few pushes before going in to kiss my mother. I dropped my bag by the sliding door and walked over to the swing. I pulled it back, put one foot in the circle and jumped up with the other. I hugged the rope tightly while I swang back and forth, slowing down. The whole thing was nostalgic and when I slowed down to the point of barely moving, I slid down and sat in the circle. Tears started to come down fast.
I hate crying. I feel like such a coward. I am strong and crying is not something strong people do. But along with everything else lately, I just didn't care. I don't care about anything anymore.
"Jade? What are you doing?" I heard a voice say. I looked up. Oh god, it's Tori.
"Why are you at my house, Vega? Get off my property!" I said bitterly.
"No Jade, I know something's really wrong. I came to try to help. I know you say nothing is wrong but I know that isn't the truth. Now you're crying!" She walked up to me and put a hand on my shoulder. "Jade, please, I am here for you. I care, despite everything you do to hurt me, I want to help you."
"Fine, oh my god, you are relentless. I'm depressed beyond belief," I admitted. I was hoping she would take that and go. That was just stupid of me.
"Why are you so depressed? You can tell me. I won't tell anyone," she promised. And I knew she wouldn't. She was annoying as hell, but I knew that I could trust her. She helped me in the past with the play that I wrote to reach out to my mother and when Beck and I broke up the first time.
"Like I told you in the bathroom at school, just… everything." I looked up at her and she just gave me a nod to go on. "I miss the way things were before. I don't like the way anything is going. I don't like who I am," I went on. "I never get the lead anymore, and acting is so important to me. It's one thing to go from having the lead in every play and losing it to someone else in some of them… but I don't get any at all, ever. That's a real self-esteem killer, you know?" She looked guilty. I couldn't help but feel good that she felt that way. I do blame her, though I wouldn't say it out loud when she's trying to be helpful. I figured I'll just spill my guts and then she can't keep bothering me to tell and I can throw it in her face that she isn't helpful.
"Jade, just because you don't get the lead part doesn't mean you can't play a smaller role. They are important, too. I think you'd make a great Daphne!" She said positively.
Daphne is a character in Sikowitz's next play about a girl trying to join the boys' soccer team. Daphne is the girlfriend of the soccer captain. She has about 3 lines.
"Or you could just not try out for every single play and give other people a chance, god dammit!" I spat back, insulted.
"Fine, I won't try out for the lead in One Of Us."
"Really?" I couldn't believe it.
"If it would make you feel better, then I won't. I'm not going to never try out for another lead but I will sit this one out. I'm not coordinated enough to be a soccer player anyway." She said, trying to look on the upside. "So, I'll see you at school tomorrow. Good luck with the auditions on Monday as well. Let me know if you want to practice your lines with me." She got up and started to walk back to her car.
I don't know why, but I didn't want her to go yet.
"Tori, wait!" I called.
She turned back. "Yeah?"
"That's not the only thing that depresses me. You wanted to know what was wrong, didn't you? God, you claim to want to help and don't even hear me out till the end." I faked annoyance. I was really hoping she would stay. Something inside me told me that I wanted to tell her about the rest of my problems. Maybe I really would feel better. I was desperate for that.
"Of course I did. I'm sorry, I didn't know there was more… tell me." She walked back towards me and the swing but I got up. I waved my hand towards my house. We walked back up the yard in silence. I let her in the back door first and told her to sit at the kitchen table. I poured us both a glass of iced tea and went to sit with her.
"Thanks." She said, smiling. I guess this was out of my nature to be a good host. "So, what else is upsetting you?"
"Beck." She looked at me, not understanding. "He won't leave me alone," I continued. "I don't want to be his friend. Maybe in the future but right now, I don't want to pretend like everything that happened between us… you know… didn't. Those 2 and a half years meant a lot to me, I can't just forget them the way he seems to be able to."
"That makes sense… I didn't know you felt that way. Maybe I could try to tell him to back off?"
"I've tried myself. He won't listen. He says he cares too much about me to just not have me in his life. If he cared, he would understand that I need this to feel better! He's a selfish jerk. How does he actually think we can just break up and he can still just be around me like nothing's different!" I was getting worked up. Tori looked a little frightened.
"Maybe if his other friends explained to him that if he wants things to be okay later on, he needs to respect your decision to not be his friend now… I think he would understand it better that way. And hearing the same thing from multiple people usually makes people think differently." Why does she have to make sense? That just frustrates me too. Why can't she just have some flaws?
"Fine, you can talk to him."
She took a sip of her iced tea while waiting for me to go on. I looked her in the eyes for a few seconds before turning my stare to my own untouched glass. She could tell I was hesitating, and reassured me by putting her hand on mine. I was about to pull away but I just couldn't. It felt too nice to have someone comforting me.
"3 years ago, before you, before Beck, before Hollywood Arts in general…" I continued to stare at the drops of water going down my cold glass. "My dad died. He had cancer. He was sick for a while but we all just thought nothing of it. He kept reassuring us all he was fine, just a cold. By the time we realized it was much more than a cold, cold's don't last that long, it was too late. I hate myself for not realizing how sick he was earlier on. Too caught up in myself and trying to get into the prestigious Hollywood Arts to notice my own father dying." It all came out rather rushed. I instantly regret telling her because now I can't stop crying. "I just… I really miss him."
Next thing I know, Tori is pulling me into her arms. I don't even pull away. I let her rub my back and I cry. I hear her whisper that she's sorry a few times. I know I should probably tell her that I'm okay and thank her for listening and send her off but I'm not able to. I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
Okay, this is my first story. I hope it's not too bad. The next chapter will be in Tori's POV and I'll just keep going back and forth. Let me know what you think. Should I keep going or do I just suck and should give up?