An oft-written concept but I couldn't get this out of my head. Established Captain Swan with a generous helping of Henry. If you're wondering what version is used here, it's the 2003 live-action Peter Pan with Jeremy Sumpter as Peter and Jason Isaacs (AKA Lucius Malfoy) as Hook. Coincidentally one of my favourite movies ever :) Title is a quote from Peter Pan
Despite the fact that Killian had been in the non-fairytale world for well over a year and her boyfriend for upwards of four months now, it still provided Emma with bounds of endless amusement when he came into contact with a quirk of 21st century Earth for the first time. His first encounter with a pop-up toaster remained her personal favourite; she laughed so much her ribs hurt and she'd had tears rolling down her face —much to his dissatisfaction and annoyance ("Not funny, Swan! I could have been killed!")
Emma had almost wanted to keep a camera on her to document his reactions to the technology and culture of the modern world, but, once she'd explained what a camera was to him, Killian had glared at her and pouted until she promised she wouldn't. Still, his reactions were hilarious and adorable. The strangest things were complete revelations to him, like string cheese and when he saw a speedboat for the first time.
So when he stopped in the middle of the DVD rentals shop, picking up a DVD case and staring at it intently, Emma had to go over to investigate/explain. They were actually picking out a film for their planned movie night with Henry and picking up popcorn since Killian had declared it "a marvel of your strange world" when Henry had first given him some. Once Emma got a bit closer, she was no longer surprised that this particular DVD had caught his attention. He held Peter Pan in his hand, the live-action version with the guy from Harry Potter playing Captain Hook. Emma watched, trying to hold back a smile, as Killian considered the case carefully with pursed lips. His on-screen counterpart was actually on the cover, all dressed in ostentatious adorned red velvet and a traditional pirate hat. The quintessential image of Captain by the outside world- and Emma's too, before she met the real deal and fell in love with him.
True to form, Killian's first question was, "Why is Pan's name on the cover?" She didn't miss the distaste in his voice when he mentioned the boy's name
Emma rolled her eyes and laughed. "Well, the story isn't all about you." Killian looked comically affronted. "In fact, you're just a character in Peter Pan's story."
Emma knew how he would react to that statement. Killian blew a loud raspberry in the middle in the shop, causing the teenager chewing bubblegum behind the counter to look up. "Well, they've got that wrong already. He was a character in mine!"
"Everyone thinks that about their own lives," Emma reasoned, looking up at him with a smirk. "But unlike the rest of us mere mortals, you've just got to argue that with a classic piece of children's literature and several popular film adaptations."
"But my life is far more interesting than Peter bloody Pan's! I'd have made a far superior film!" He pointed his hook at the case indignantly. "And look who they got to play me, he's not even good looking!"
Emma peered at the DVD case thoughtfully. "I don't know, he's definitely not bad looking." Killian looked positively scandalised and Emma grinned playfully. She rested her chin on his shoulder. "Don't worry, you're the only Captain Hook I want," she assured him.
"I should think so too," Killian grumbled, but turned his head to give her a quick kiss anyway. He looked back at the case he was still holding. "So, what are the slanderous lies they're pedalling about me in this world?"
"I haven't read the book since I was a kid," Emma said honestly. "But we can rent the DVD if you want."
Killian looked as though he had to hold his intrigue at the idea of watching a movie portrayal of himself. She could hardly blame him; if she'd been the character of a much-loved book she'd want to know how she was portrayed—though she had a feeling Killian wouldn't like much about his character in Peter Pan. "Really?" he asked, trying to look casual about the prospect.
"Yeah. We needed a film anyway and I'm sure Henry will like it—especially since he'll have the real Captain Hook watching it with him." Emma knew Henry would be thrilled to further grill Hook on his adventures in Neverland—Henry's limitless curiosity in them had been what sparked the friendship between the two in the first place. Emma warned Killian in the beginning to make sure his tales were free from sex and rum but she was surprised by just how good he was at telling stories; she found herself captivated by them when he really got into it, so to Henry it was like his own personal story book.
"Sounds like a plan, love. Now where's that marvellous popcorn Henry showed me last time?"
– – –
"This film far overstates my rivalry with Pan," Killian complained, inelegantly stuffing a handful of popcorn into his mouth. "He was a bit of a nuisance, of course, but trying to shoot at him with a cannon? Please. I had better things to do with my time. And it would have been a waste of cannon balls. But then the boy always did have tendency towards over-dramatics."
Emma smiled, snuggling into his side. He kissed her forehead and wrapped his arm tighter around her.
"What about Tinker Bell?" Henry asked eagerly from where he was sitting on the floor. "Did you know her?"
"Oh, yes." Killian chuckled. "She was a little menace as well, blasted fairy!" Despite his words, there was a strange affection in his voice when he spoke of Tinker Bell that wasn't present when he spoke of Peter Pan. It made Emma wonder who she was to him. So much of his past was still a mystery to her; she was pretty sure she'd spend the rest of her life finding out bits and pieces about his 300-year-plus past. But the good thing was, she wanted to.
Killian continued, pointing at the action on the TV, "Now that exchange actually did happen in a manner of speaking—he did impersonate me and call me a codfish but it wasn't in the Black Castle..." He went onto explain the true context behind the words, and he was right, it was far less dramatic than the film and thankfully, Killian hadn't been trying to hold kids hostage at the time.
Henry was rapt to attention, more so than he was even to the film itself, listening to Killian's epic chronicling of his adventures. Emma often wondered at their strange bond, but thought it couldn't have worked out any better. Killian wasn't strictly speaking a father figure to Henry -he didn't need one since his grandfather was young enough to fill that role and he'd done without one just fine for the first ten years of his life- Killian was more like an older brother. Henry idolised him, not that he ever mentioned it but she could see it in his eyes when he talked to Killian. She knew Regina was not too pleased about how much time Henry spent around the pirate but Regina also knew how much Henry liked him, so she kept her comments to herself, mostly.
By the time Killian had finished explaining and they'd gone back to actually watching the movie, it progressed to the moonlit dance between Peter and Wendy, with Hook and Tinker Bell looking on.
"He has found himself...a Wendy? And Hook is all alone," on-screen Hook lamented.
Emma felt Killian's warm breath on her ear as he whispered, "Also not true. I found myself a Wendy too."
It was so cheesy, Emma wanted to roll her eyes and hit him in the chest for it, but instead she turned her head and kissed him, cupping his jaw with her hand.
"Urgh," Henry groaned. "If you guys are going to make out, can you go in another room? Ew."