I've come to a realization. I haven't posted anything worth reading in a while. I love my Hetalia story, but a lot of you don't follow the pair I ship, and I shouldn't neglect any of you! I love you! It's getting close to my year anniversary on this site, and I should spoil you all for being so dear to me. This idea is actually from a comic book series I do. I might publish it one day, if I ever stop being lazy. As is, I'll mold it into a fiction to see if you like the idea! We can all lose ourselves, and stop taking life so seriously, even if just for this moment! Let's go, shall we?

Disclaimer: The idea is mine, this computer is mine, the style is mine, my clothes are mine, and the world is mine. The characters are not, until I take over Japan. (Izaya came over willingly, so he's mine.)


"Everything is going to be fine, you know," Shizu-chan tells me for the hundredth time. I glance at him.

"So you've said. Do I look like someone who's worried?" I ask confidently.

"Nah. You look like someone who's scared as hell," he grins. Ugh, such an arrogant asshole. Sometimes I wonder why I put up with him.

"It would be more insane to not be scared."

"Insane has nothing to do with it," he huffs.

Ah, right. Shizu-chan is a paranoid schizophrenic. No one knows except for me. I don't even know if his parents know. I mean, they'd have to, right? How else would he have gotten diagnosed? Huh.

Maybe I don't know him as well as I thought.

Let me explain, Shizu-chan is about a year and half older than me. We've been friends since I was five years old, and I'm currently a junior in high school.

"Haha, I can't believe you're just a junior. This should've been the big year," he remarks. I honestly don't know what's up his ass, but I hope it's hurting him.

Dumbass brute.

"It's not my fault," I mutter, trying not to let him get to me. He looks at me sideways.

"Hey now. Relax. You know I didn't mean it like that."

"How did you mean it then?"

"I mean… Dammit, Izaya! I mean that you should be graduating this year! So we could leave, remember? Just you and me, leaving this damn city! It's just not fair," Shizu-chan says, running a hand through his hair angrily. He has such a problem expressing himself, it drives me crazy.

"What's not fair is, I still don't remember what happened," I say dryly. He sighs.

"You're not supposed to be worried about that. Don't push yourself to remember. It's only been a year."

About a year ago, there was some sort of accident. I don't know the details, but I suffered extreme head trauma. Everything is fuzzy, and I don't really remember anybody.

No one except Shizu-chan. It was the weirdest thing. I woke up, and he was the first person I asked for. I had to get to know my entire family again. It's crazy to treat your own mother like a stranger.

Every day, I learn more about them, but I'm not any closer to figuring out who I am. It's infuriating, and it's hard. I can't stand not knowing.

I feel like I should know everything. But maybe that's just how I used to be.

The worst thing is asking myself, "Would the old Izaya have done this?" "Is this what I should say?"

I know there's no wrong answer. There's no penalty for getting the answer wrong. It's just…so damn hard.

How can I be me if I have no idea who I am?

"Just be you," Shizu-chan says, reading my thoughts as always.

"Easier said than done," I remark.

"Look," he sighs, "I'm walking you to school to boost morale. It's your first day back since you got better! Why not try to make the best of it?"

I glare at him, and he rolls his eyes.

"Don't be such a bitch," he laughs.

"A what?!"

He points to the school up ahead, still grinning.

"…Do you want to come in with me?" I say, fidgeting on my feet. I hate not having him near. He's the only safety net I have.

"Nah. I hate it here."

"You're so lucky you already graduated…"

He ruffles my hair.

"You have friends here, babe," he tells me. "You might not remember them, but they remember you."

Well, that's comforting.

I huff at him, breathing deeply before marching into the school with my head held as highly as I can hold it.

If I'm going to start all over again, I might as well be myself.

Whoever the hell I am.

Sachi: *dances* This is actually the best thing I've ever written, aside from my many Fanfictions. It was a series of four comic books, and I used to pass them around my school. I loved it! It's so much easier to write it then to draw it, but comics display so much feeling, you know?

Izaya: I have a starring role! Fuck yeah!

Shizuo: Me too, Louse!

Sachi: Back to my main shipping! Hope to see you all next chapter! Review for love!