oh my God! i forgot about this! im deciding now if i should make this longer than i intended to or just make it shorter, just tell me any suggestions i need it. and thank you for still reading this, i hope you lovely humans out there will review. :3

In an apartment on Ikebukuro
three months before the accident

The silence in the dining table was looming around the two figures who was eating silently, Shizuo starred at the informant it's been two weeks since they lived together, but it still feels like living alone. Shizuo starred at the informant across him who was eating his ootoro with delight, he couldn't help but get jealous of the food. It seems the Ootoro is enough to make the raven happy and while the blonde was trying all his best to make the infprmant happy. a small smile was on Izaya's features as he continued to eat swinging his foot under the table, the blond notices how childish izaya is, he figured out some things in the raven, like he always hum a unfamiliar song while showering or washing the dishes, rolling on the bed and whines how boring his house was and the way he pouts was so cute. So it frustrates him that he could only smile so truthfully because of the damn ootoro. Standing up Shizuo went to the fridge.

"ah Shizu-chan I'll cook tomorrow is there anything edible there?" the informant asked as he continued to munch his food. Shizuo bent down and inspects his fridge before grabbing a fish.

"here, how about this?" Shizuo showed the raven the raw head of a fish beside the plate of ootoro "you can fry it or something what do you—oi flea?"

"uwah! Could you get that thing away from me!" jerking away from his food he scooted on the counter. "no I change my mind I won't cook tomorrow so..yeah."

"what's wrong with you?" Shizuo grabbed the plate and looked at the informant.

"don't! come near me….with that disgusting thing.."

"hah? Ohhh this?"Shizuo said as he raised the plate with a smirk on his face as he leaned close to izaya and showed him the fish.

"no! you brute!" Izaya ran towards the living room as he tried to avoid shizuo who was following his tracks, his hands behind his back. "Shizu-chan! Stop!" the raven growled as he ran back to the kitchen. Shizuo smirked and grabbed the flea's hand and yanked him but the raven was so persistent on his escape that his he twisted and fell on the floor with shizuo hovering over him. Chuckling Shizuo smiled, Izaya noticed that Shizuo isn't bringing the head of the fish while chasing him. The raven looked up to meet Shizuo's intense gaze at him. They are so close.. so close for his own liking and he needs to get away from this situation! Izaya tried to look away but he can't, he can't avoid the honey colored eyes of the monster above him. As Shizuo closed their distance together by a kiss Izaya's eyes went wide as he stared at the ceiling trying to process what happened. His body tensed immediately as he tried to get away, pushing the huge monster above him was still pointless since he can't pry him off. His protest were soon cut off as Shizuo slid his hand under his shirt that made him gasp, which the blond took an opportunity to push his tongue past the raven's small lips. The explore was on set as shizuo lavished the hot cavern of the informant earning a muffled moan from the smaller man. The kiss was long until both of them were breathless Shizuo pushed away and looked at the flushed face underneath him with a small smile.
"ge…get off me!"izaya yelled as he pushed Shizuo away and use the time to run to his room and closed it
"this should stop already, I should stop this before my plan will flip back to me"

A month after the accident
Shizu-chan's apartment.

Its been months and his memory was still void and he was feeling so down there just small fragments that he can remember and even that was useless to find a clue of who he was. Swinging his feet on the couch he sighed, his injured foot is doing fine yet he can't get out of the house, Shizuo won't let him because he said it was dangerous and he trusted shizuo so he obeyed, even though he really wanted to go out, this past few days he told the bartender that he sometimes saw himself in a roof top looking down, observing the people below, that was most of his memories, so he wanted to go outside. He wanted to explore outside this apartment for once then maybe he could remember more. Standing he wrote a note saying he went outside and would come back to prepare dinner. Looking at the note again he stick it to the fridge and went to grab a coat as he went out the house, he walked and walked to the streets and looked around as if it was his first time in a carnival. The city was huge and lots of people around. It felt nostalgic as if his feet knew where it was taking him. Walking through the crowd he couldn't help but feel a bit uncomfortable by the stares of the people around him, they are looking at him with such emotions in their eyes, disgust, hatred and fear? But why? He couldn't help but wonder why was it because of who he was? But Shizuo told him he worked on a office and had many debt that people are looking after him that's why he had an accident because he was being chased by one of those people. Though it seemed a bit unconvincing but he had nothing to hold on has he?

Izaya shook his head for the tenth time now, he needs to shake off those silly thoughts he had, standing up from the park that he was currently sitting, he checked his watch and saw how late it is.

"oh my! Shizu-chan might be waiting for me" he ran and find his way to the apartment but before he could reach the next block a hand yanked him from the road and into a small alley.

"Orihara Izaya you will pay for what you've done"
izaya stared blankly at the man who stood before him. "let me go! Who are you!" he tried to pry away from the man and looked around for escape.

"who am i? you are asking who am i? I am one of your play things, you ruined my family set my company to bankruptcy that is why im here! Living like a rat in the streets while you are living in a luxurious life? I thought you died you bastard." He grinned and shoved the raven down the ground with a loud thud. "what? take your knife out. Where are your sassy remarks huh?"
Izaya just stared at the man unable to formulate a word as he backed away; fear danced in his eyes, questions swirled in his mind.

who is he?

who is that man?

why did he hate him so much?

what did he do?

why did he ruin the man's life?

who really is he?

"DIE!" the man raised his knife as he made his strike. Izaya closed his eyes already prepared to accept the fate he was about to face. Images and scenes flashed before him, scenes where he was running while laughing, he looked so happy as he ran but who is he running from? Why is he running like there was no tomorrow suddenly a vending machine came flying, in his memory he dodged the heavy object with ease but as he opened his eyes reality came flashing back right in front of him, and what he saw made his blood rush, adrenaline suddenly came into his system as he saw a vending machine flew above his head and hit the man who was about to attack him.


"I told you not to leave the house!" a growl was heard behind him, Izaya looked back to see SHizuo clenching his fist in hard ball, he was clearly upset and angry. Izaya wanted to rest his head on the blonde's chest like he always do when he feels a sudden headache, but now he was afraid and just decided to hug himself and cry. He was scared he was afraid and he doesn't know what to do.

Shizuo stared at the raven who was whimpering softly small tears were starting to seeped out his crimson eyes. Shizuo was angry really angry but his anger died as he saw the crying raven, it hurts to see the other cry so Shizuo calmed himself before walking towards his lover.

"izaya.." he pulled the smaller male close to him and hugged him, that's where the raven started to sob.

"im.. im sorry Shizuo.. i..it won't happen again" he gripped the blonde's shirt as he cried hard that night, all his fears he released it and clung to Shizuo with his dear life until he passed out.
Shizuo stared at the lithe body in his arms as he carried the informant back to his apartment. He almost lost izaya before and he can't afford to lose this izaya now. Placing izaya on the bed he looked at him and stroked his cheek. This izaya is the one he wanted to be, the izaya who showed him love and affection, this izaya that welcomes him every time he came from work with a large smile on his face. The Izaya that nuzzles against him, the one that sleeps beside him and smiled for him. Shizuo knew it was selfish of him, so selfish but he wished izaya would never gain his memory again.

"can you stay like this forever flea?"
he murmured silently as he brushed the raven locks. Izaya was his only love, no matter how twisted his love is, izaya will be his life and he will make damn sure that izaya would remain as to what he was right now, if he had to twist everything he would because he loved him so much and.
Izaya was HIS alone.

Izaya woke up and rubbed his eyes blinking a second he realized he was on Shizuo's bed, sitting up he looked around to find the blond but there was no sign of him. Deciding to stand up he froze and stared in awe at his wrist and looked at his ankle. He was chained, a long chain was on his ankle and to the bed posts, his hands were cuffed the chains were long enough for him to move freely but still out of the doors reach, looking at the locked door of the room a thought was only swimming on his head.

"why are you doing this Shizuo?"