Jeff Hardy – The Hyper Hypo: The Sequel!

A/N: Don't own anything. You may want to read the first Hyper Hypo before reading this one. Anyway enjoy!

The Park-playground near another kiddy gym

Jeff Hardy

Torrie Wilson

[in the playground, where Torrie sits at the base of the jungle gym playing with her dolly, while Jeff, tied by a harness to the gym, climbs the upper bars and attempts to free himself of his restrainment. Unsuccessful, he decides to sit next to Torrie and talk to her.]

Jeff: Hi, Torrie!

Torrie: Hi, Jeff.

Jeff: Hi, Torrie!!

Torrie: Hi, Jeff.

Jeff: Hi, Torrie!!!

Torrie: [ angry ] I said hello already, Jeff! Hello, hello, hello, hello-o-o-o-o!!

Jeff: [ wiping his face ] Okay. I want the news, not the weather. Torrie, will you be my Valentine?

Torrie: I'm already someone else's Valentine.

Jeff: Whose?

Torrie: Billy Kidman. He gave me chocolates.

Jeff: Oh him? I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything, but I don't like Billy.

Torrie: Why not?

Jeff: One time, he played a real dirty joke on me. He tried to make me eat some poo! He told me it was a tootsie roll! Luckily I didn't eat it, I knew something didn't smell right.

Torrie:  Eww. Sorry 'bout, Billy, he loves to play jokes. Hey, you want a Hertz donut?

Jeff: I'm not supposed to have sugar, I'm hypoglycenic and hyperactive. I'm a hyper-hypo! That's why I wear a harness. Because when I have sugar, I become a menace to myself and others.

Torrie: There's no sugar in a Hertz donut.

Jeff: Well, okay.. give me a Hertz donut!

[ Torrie punches Jeff in the arm ]
Jeff: Hey! [rubs his arm where Torrie punched him]
Torrie: Hurts, don't it? Get it?! [ laughs ]

Jeff: That's where I got my booster shot!

Torrie: Hurts, don't it? [ keeps laughing ]

Jeff: Whatever.. okay. I love you, you know. [ talks funny ] I love you, you know. I have a bubble in my throat. I had a lot of dairy products today. I have a bubble in my throat. [ sings ] "Ohhh.. the girls got the buns, and the boys got the hot dogs! The girls got the buns, and the boys got the hot dogs!"

Together: "The girls got the buns, and the boys got the hot dogs! The girls got the buns, and the boys got the hot dogs!" [ they laugh ]

Jeff: When you hit me in the arm, it didn't hurt you know.

Torrie: Wow. You're strong.

Jeff: Thanks.

Torrie: [ laughing ] That smell isn't everything! [ laughs ]

Jeff: I'm running away from you. You're making fun of me. [ runs out as far as he can, until the harness holds him back. After a couple of tries, he gives up and resumes sitting next to Torrie. ] Okay, I'm staying.. I suppose.. You know, at the risk of sounding pathetic, I'll ask you again: Will you be my Valentine?

Torrie: Okay, Jeff. I'll be your Valentine, if you want some of my Valentine's Day's chocolate.

Jeff: I can't eat chocolate. I'm not supposed to, on account sugar makes me go mental. The last time I ate chocolate was when this pretty red head gave me a Hershey bar, and when I went home, my brother shouted at me because I brought the kiddy gym into the house.
Torrie: [ starts eating some of the chocolate, staining her face ] Mmm.. are you sure? This choclate is really, really good..

Jeff: You're a pretty blonde disguised as the devil!

Torrie: If you love me, you'll have some..

Jeff: No!

Torrie: Try some.

Jeff: No!

Torrie: Try some!

Jeff: No!

Torrie: Try some!

Jeff: No!

Torrie: Try some!

Jeff: Alright, alright! [ takes a piece of chocolate ] Well, one couldn't hurt.. [ grabs the rest of the chocolates and scarfs them down ]

[ high on the sugar in the chocolates, Jeff again tries to run free from the playground, but is pulled back by the harness. Too hyper to stop himself, he uses his newfound strength to pry the jungle gym from the ground, then runs across the playground dragging the jungle gym behind him, until he makes his way to the highway ]