AN: This one shot was written for the Countdown to Valentine's Day.

I have to say a big thank you to mauigirl60 for her Beta skills.


Title: Left Foot on Red, Right Hand on Blue

Children at grandparents', being spoiled with pink frosted cupcakes and Disney movies...check.

Stuffed into uncomfortable undergarments, with a dress not covered in applesauce...check.

A dinner reservation at the fancy, pretentious restaurant that the hubby has been coveting more than the thought of his wife in uncomfortable undergarments...check.

Bella Swan was ready for Valentine's Day. Christmas was thankfully over, and green beer and corned beef were just a glimmer in her eye. Tonight, she was going to get some love from her man.

Coming down the stairs, she was attaching a dangling pair of gemstones that had, thankfully, not been lost in the playroom or a sink. As the door opened before her, she smiled at her dashing husband, who was looking not quite so dashing.

Edward trudged in, carrying grocery bags, his medical case, and a drooping bouquet of flowers. It was the hodgepodge of brightly-dyed carnations and baby's breath found at the end of the aisles at Shop o'Rama.

"What are you dressed up for?" Edward asked tiredly. He dropped the bags he was carrying onto the floor, the bouquet that was sadly turning brown lying on the top.

"It's Valentine's Day," Bella reminded him, as she approached him. "We have reservations at Equinox."

Equinox was the hot new restaurant in the city closest to town. Bella really had no need to ever go there after hearing about their miniscule portions, weird tendency to make meat foam, and their exorbitant prices. Edward was in love with modern design and high-concept cuisine. For this reason, one year ago, she suffered on the phone with a haughty hostess to try and get a reservation. The things she did to make her man happy.

"Shit! I forgot. At least I brought flowers. No wonder they didn't have any of the good ones left. Here's the milk for the kids. Where are they?" he asked, as he shoved a plastic bag into Bella's arms.

"They're sleeping at your parents'."

"Cool. Stick the milk in the fridge and see if we can go there next week?" Edward slipped off his shoes. "Today was a mess! How hard is it to make your kid get a flu shot? One little prick and it's done. We have the nasal too, for God's sake! Instead, of one minute of a cranky kid, they risk their child's health and have to deal with days of sickness. It makes no sense!"

It was probably best to cancel dinner reservations, Bella had to admit to herself. A geared up and cranky Edward wasn't the best dinner companion.

"I'll just put these away," she said quietly and trudged into the kitchen.

Picking up the phone, Bella called the restaurant. A woman with a thick accent answered, "Equinox, our cuisine will complete your existence. Irina speaking."

"Hello! I need to change my reservation." She started feeling nervous, because the woman on the other end of the line sounded like she was going to come to Bella's house and whip her.

The woman sneered, "Are you ill? Equinox does not accept cancellations for no good reason. We charge you three hundred dollars!"

Bella blurted out, "I have the flu! Cough, cough!"

"Then I put you on list for February 20th, two years from now."

"Do you have something sooner? If you don't have anything for next week, then do you have something available in this calendar year?" Bella wanted to reach into the phone and throttle the woman.

"I make it three years!" The woman sneered into the phone.

Bella gripped the phone tightly. "Super."

She hung up the phone, wishing that you could slam down a portable phone. A little click didn't have the same effect. Bella just hoped in three years they would be out of business. With manners like that, it was a certainty.

Edward came in wearing track pants and a stained Forks High School tee-shirt. He grabbed a beer out of the fridge, not noticing the bottle of champagne that was in front of his face. Bella just sighed. Edward turned to her with a smile. She hoped that he would come up to her and kiss her passionately. Instead, he pointed out, "You probably should put on something else. The hamburgers I got are really greasy."

Bella just turned and walked slowly out of the room. He could put away the damned milk himself. She took a deep breath as she centered herself. She chanted in her head, Don't be mad. Don't be mad. He had a hard day. Don't be mad.

Upstairs, Bella changed into a comfy pair of sweats, pulled her hair back in a messy bun and plopped her glasses on her face. Sometimes it didn't pay to shave your legs.

She headed back to the family room where Edward was loading the DVD player. The food and several beers were sitting out on the family room table. "What are we watching?"

"I picked up some Adam Sandler movie, where he acts like a fool." Edward laughed, walking over to Bella who had sat down on the couch. Of course, that was the plot of all Adam Sandler movies.

She simply said, "No."

"You have to get over this, sweetheart. One nightmare of Adam Sandler doesn't mean he's out to get you!" he pleaded.

Edward couldn't understand where Bella's fear of the comedian came from. All he could remember from that night was after they had giggled together during Happy Gilmore, she woke from a nightmare swearing to never again watch another Adam Sandler movie. Bella knew why. Adam Sandler, dressed as a clown, was terrifying.

She repeated herself, "No."

"What do you want to do then?" Edward asked, plopping down and popping a fry into his mouth. He'd really had a tough day. He was tired and wanted to lie back and rest.

Bella grabbed a beer, drinking it quickly. Before Edward could protest, she blurted out, "Board games!"

"You hate board games! Honey, you always lose and get sullen..."

"Let's make it fun!" She headed over to a chest and pulled out Battleship. "Strip Battleship!"

Edward looked at her in shock. His Bella was always a surprise. "Is this for real?"

He really hoped she was serious.

"Unless you don't want..."

Edward jumped up. "Let me make a fire. I don't want my sweet wife to be freezing when she's naked before me."

"I could win!" she protested.

Edward just laughed. Bella couldn't win a game, board or athletic, to save her life.

"It's on!" Bella sneered, as she set up the game on the rug.

E1, E2, E3...goodbye Bella's submarine and sweatshirt.

G10, H10, I10, J10...goodbye Bella's battleship and sweat pants.

A1, A2…goodbye Edward's patrol boat and ratty tee-shirt.

F2, F3, F4, F5, F6…goodbye Bella's carrier and bra.

"I don't want to play this anymore," Bella complained, as she stood up. She crossed her arms over her bare chest. Her outfit now only consisted of polka-dotted panties and red woolen socks.

Edward smiled broadly. The fire cast a glow onto his chest, making Bella want to put her mouth all over his body. He suggested, "I can put on that movie."

Instead of protesting, Bella looked over at the pile of games that she had removed to get to Battleship. Inspiration struck instantly. Sauntering over to the games, she leaned over, slowly facing away from Edward. Bella couldn't help but smile as she heard the groan that came from him. Standing up, she held out the game so he could see it clearly.

"Twister? Oh, my God," he whispered, as his mind thought of all the possibilities.

"Get undressed all the way, Mr. Cullen." Her eyes never left his, as she peeled off those hideous socks, along with her panties. She tossed the panties at his head, which he caught with a grin.

Bella set up the mat, as Edward got undressed in a hurry. He tripped over his pants, as he grabbed the spinner.

He exclaimed, "Me first!"

"Go ahead, little boy." She stood and waited.

Edward spun. Right leg on red. He leaned down and shivered as Bella licked down his spine to take her turn.

Left leg on yellow. Bella maneuvered her body so she had to snake her arm under his legs to touch the yellow circle. Her mouth went to his already erect cock and sucked and licked it slowly. Edward was already coming undone by the woman under him. Then she pulled away and purred, "Your turn."

He was about to faint. Spinning the dial, it landed on left hand on blue. He wanted to make her as crazy as she'd made him. Instead of touching the closest blue circle, Edward started to massage Bella's clit. She tensed up, her eyes hooded. Inserting two fingers, rhythmically pumping in and out, he watched as Bella almost went over the edge. Then he stopped with a jaunty, "Your turn, honey!"

The fact that she was so close made Bella up her game. She gave a half-hearted spin and instead of reading it she cried, "Bella on Edward!"

Pushing Edward upright Bella wrapped both legs around his waist, kissing him passionately, and running her nails down his back. He gripped her ass and kneaded it, as he held his flexible wife tightly. Yoga classes were the best invention ever, he decided at that moment.

Laying the heavily-breathing Bella onto the plastic mat, Edward nipped down her neck. "Edward's mouth on Bella's boob."

"More, Edward… oh, give me more!" Bella squealed happily at the feeling of his wet mouth on her nipple. "Bella's hand on Edward's dick."

Her hand started pumping him with a forceful motion. He let out a yell and moved her hand. His voice was thick with lust as he declared, "Edward inside of his wife's fuck-hot body!"

Edward entered her swiftly and moved in and out with the perfect amount of pressure and timing. Their bodies were building with the pleasure of finally being joined. The couple completed each other, and were truly fulfilled when making love. His hands went into Bella's hair and he cried, "I'm coming, my love!"

"I love you so much," Bella murmured, as she finally came completely undone at the same time as Edward.

They held each other and Bella smiled at the way Edward stroked her back. He kissed her head. "I love you."

"As I do you. Guess what?"

He looked at her and smiled. "What?"

"I win!" She kissed him again and started round number two.


The next morning, Bella woke up naked and alone in bed. She frowned to see Edward's side empty and slightly chilly. She would have loved to be cuddling in his arms at that moment.

Her frown changed to a grin, as she watched a wonderfully naked Edward bringing in a tray that contained her beloved coffee and muffins. "My favorite things!" she exclaimed. "What are these for?"

"Happy Valentine's Day, my gorgeous Bella. I'm a little late, but today I'm making it up to you." He placed the tray next to her and curled up against her side.

Bella looked at the clock and groaned. "We have to pick up the kids in fifteen minutes."

"Actually, my parents are having such a great time, they offered to keep them another night. Something about going to the aquarium and making boxed macaroni and cheese for dinner. I'm sure that would be a fun night for us when we become grandparents, but today I have a more active and sweaty plan for your day."

"Do tell!"

"I will be ravishing you in this bed until noon." He tickled her gently and kissed her neck.

"I like the way you think!" Bella loved the way this plan was going so far.

"We will be having lunch at the botanical gardens cafe. We can pretend it's spring and wander around the greenhouses. Feel free to make out with me whenever the mood hits you." He knew her love of flowers was an aphrodisiac.

"I think I can handle that request." Bella snuggled closer and nipped his ear.

"Hold on to that thought, my lady." He tried to get through their itinerary, but she was turning him on. "Dinner has been scheduled for…"

"Please don't say Equinox!" That would put a major damper on the night's potential plans.

"No! I called over there and talked to the most horrible woman. She said it would take five years for a reservation. I just think she was making things up!" Edward grimaced at the thought of his conversation with the dreadful hostess. She sounded like a psychotic dominatrix. "We're going to Luigi's! Aro can flirt with you and give us free breadsticks!"

"Aro's eighty," she reminded her husband.

"He's a flirty eighty. The man has good taste in younger women." Edward pinched her bottom and made Bella giggle. It was one of his favorite sounds. "The rest of the night will be more ravishing."

"You kept the Twister game, right?" Bella asked, her eyes twinkling.

Edward gave her a confused look. "Yes, but we sullied the thing. The kids can't be around it."

"But we can keep it for us," she said, pulling her husband down on top of her. Bella kissed him until he was left hard and panting. "Tonight, baby, I'm thinking rematch."