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Tonks let out a sigh. She was sick of this. Why couldn't he just accept the fact that she loved him? She loved him, despite it all.

Remus was constantly putting himself down. He wasn't good enough for anyone. He was a monster. He was old. He was poor.

All excuses. She's heard them all before.

Why couldn't he just open his eyes and see that she was right there in front of him? That she loved him, every part of him.

Tonks didn't care about the werewolf thing. She thought it just made him more exciting and attractive. She didn't think he was a monster. She thought he was a man, one that deserved the love he so desperately needed.

She heard the door open. "Remus?" She called out, hoping it was him.

"Yes, it's me." He responded.

Tonks went into the hallway and saw Remus staring at her warily. No doubt he didn't want to be with here. Or be around her for that matter.

She frowned as she took in his appearance. He looked tired, like he hadn't slept in days. Knowing him, he probably hasn't.

"Has something happened?" She asked, almost afraid of his answer.

He shook his head. "I just came to check up on you."

"Oh," she said, surprised. Smiling, she realized this was a good thing. "I'll make us some tea!" She rushed into the kitchen.

Remus trailed behind her, taking a seat at the table.

As she waited for the water to boil, Tonks grabbed two tea cups and placed them on the table. Minutes later, she poured the water into the tea cups, sliding one towards Remus.

He thanked her quietly, taking a sip.

The two were silent.

Tonks bit her lip. "So…."

Remus chuckled. "So. You're all right?"

Tonks nodded. "I'm doing all right."

"Good."

Tonks looked up, her eyes locking with his. "How are you doing Remus?"

He was quiet for a moment. "I'm not sure."

Tonks reached across the table to grab his hand, but he quickly snatched it away. She felt anger bubble up within her. She stood. "You know what Remus, get out."

"What?" He asked, puzzled by her outburst.

"Get the hell out of my home." She shouted at him angrily.

Remus was gob smacked. Tonks never acted like this. He stood slowly.

"Don't come here anymore," she said, tears running down her face.

Remus stopped in the doorway. "Why? Tonks, I…."

She held her hand up. "No Remus. I can't do this anymore. I love you Remus, and you know I do. Yet you continuously shoot me down. Seeing you here, coming around and acting like you care; it's pure torture! Do you like hurting me Remus? Do you!" She shouted at him. Her hair was now bright red and tears were pouring down her cheeks.

"Nymphadora, I don't want to hurt you," he muttered, reaching out to touch her.

She slapped his hand away. "No Remus. I'm sick of this. I get it okay, you're so miserable that you don't want me, I got it. Just leave me alone, all right? I can't deal with this anymore. I can't deal with trying to convince you that you aren't a bad person. It's exhausting, and I can't do it anymore."

Remus closed his mouth. This is what you wanted Remus, wasn't it? Her to push you away? If so, then why did he feel so bad?

Tonks hovered with her hand on the door. "A word of advice Remus," she said, her voice more calm than it was before. "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be."

And with that, she slammed her door shut in his face.


Remus stared at the door, millions of thoughts running through his mind. Shaking his head, he apparated to the bar. He would need a shot of firewhiskey. Or a lot.


Tonks let out a shriek of frustration. She was done with him. How much more pain would she be expected to endure? She couldn't do it anymore.

He hurt her so much. Because of his own stupidity. "Well then to hell with him!" She muttered angrily.

Grabbing her blanket, she curled up in front of the fire, a sob escaping her lips.


Remus growled. He had woken up with a pounding headache. He had drank way too much firewhiskey last night, thinking it would somehow solve his problem.

What a stupid idea that was.

Tonks' words just echoed in his mind. "We are what we pretend to be…." He let out a growl. She didn't know what she was talking about.

He was a monster. An abomination. He didn't pretend to be one, he was one. He knew that for a fact.

But you've never killed anyone, a small voice whispered in the back of his mind.

"That doesn't mean anything. I'm still an awful person."

Says who? You? Don't be an idiot Remus.

"I can't do it," he whispered out loud to himself. "I'm too old and too poor. I'm not good enough for you."

But she loves you Remus, despite the fact you treat her like dirt. She still loves you.

"Dating a werewolf would only besmirch her name. I don't want to drag her down…" he whispered to himself, trying to convince himself that he was right. His resolve was breaking with every passing moment.

Her pureblood mother left her family to marry for true love. Tonks would marry you, even if it meant social ostracization. She loves you Remus, you idiot.

Grabbing his jacket, Remus quickly apparated to Tonks' home. Walking up to the door, he started knocking on it.

There was no answer.

"Tonks!" He cried, banging on her door even harder.

He heard a grumble from the other side. The door flung open, revealing a disheveled Tonks. She had a blanket wrapped around her and her hair was mussed up. She was wearing the same clothes from yesterday.

"Are you okay?" He asked, taking in her appearance.

"Just fine," she grumbled, crossing her arms. "What do you want? I told you to stay away last night."

Remus surprised her by pressing his lips to hers.

Tonks shoved him away. "Don't screw with me Remus!"

Despite her protests, he pulled her close. "I'm not." He murmured in her ear. "I've been a bloody idiot."

"Yes, you have," she grumbled.

"Can you forgive me? Please Nymphadora?" He begged, his eyes looking into hers.

"Don't call me that," she muttered. Tonks looked into his eyes and saw he was being sincere. "Okay, I'll forgive you, but only on one condition."

"Name it," he said.

"Stop putting yourself down. You're a brilliant man Remus, and I love you. I love every part of you, Moony included. I know it's hard for you to understand, but please try to. I don't think you're a monster. In fact, you're probably the most humane man I know." She laced his fingers with his. "Please, try to believe in yourself a bit more. I love you Remus."

His kissed her once more. "Tonks," he said with a smile. "I love you too."


Written for:

What We Pretend To Be Challenge

Pairing Diversity Boot Camp Challenge: Pairing: TonksxRemus Prompt: besmirch

The Wand Wood Competition: Ebony option

The HP Potions Competition: Wolfsbane option

The Dark Side Competition: Helga Hufflepuff's Cup