ALRIGHTY! So, here we are with the third and final installment of Chopped" Yu-gi-oh! Edition. It's been a fun one to write, and I hope you guys liked it.
I won't keep you longer than necessary. Well, more than I have already.
DISCLAIMER: Still don't own it...
Chopped: Yu-gi-oh! Edition: Chapter 3: Dessert
Previously, on Chopped: Yu-gi-oh! Edition...
Last we left our Chefs, Chef Téa had just been chopped. Yami, in a love induced stupor, followed after her. Joey and Ryou are our only remaining contestents. Tristan is our new host. Seto still hates Joey. Mai still has an overly large chest, and Marik is still indifferent to the entire competition.
And now, the epic conclusion...
While Tristan stands there waving at the camera, the others look at him awkwardly. Obviously, they were not expecting this to happen. Even Seto looks suprised, leading us to believe that he had no knowlege of who Rolland was going to replace Yami with. Everyone wonders how he managed to get the job. Joey acknowledges this, "Tristan? How da heck did ya get this job? You don't got any qualifacations..."
Red faced, Tristan sputters his answer, "What? As a beautifacation member, it is my job to clean up the streets- or in this case the kitchen- and take out the trash. Chopped chefs are equal to trash. Those are my qualifacations." Everyone sweatdrops, not seeing the real qualifacations he had. And, Joey scratches his head. Tristan sighs huffily, "Look it doesn't matter. You need a host, and just because I'm a side character doesn't mean I can't speak. I mean, even Ryou is here, and he's not even a main character."
Distainfully, Ryou wrinkles his nose, " I say, I was in the show from the begining. My character was key in several of the story arcs."
Appearing genuinely confused, Joey asks, "Ryou, uhm, as much as I hate to agree with Tristan, what story arcs?"
Ryou seems to get even more frustrated, "The last one! I was the main villain."
"No, the spirit of the Millinium Ring was the main bad guy..." Tristan trails off.
Ryou frowns as his ring starts to glow. "Oh, bugger. See what you've done now."
Brighter still, the glow from the ring continues, and we see Ryou change into his darker half. Although he remains relatively the same, his hair, eyes, and body sharpen. He also seems to gain a few inches in hight. Ryou, now Bakura, smiles wickedly. The room's temperture drops at least ten degrees. In response, Mai shivers as she is scantily clad. Bakura drawls, "Were you talking about me?"
Tristan, oblivious to the obvious air of menace now in the room, answers him, "Why yes we were actually. I was disagreeing with Ryou about who was the main villain in season 5."
Joey raises an eyebrow, " So, does this mean I win? I mean if Ryou can't play do I win?"
Bakura hums thoughtfully, "No. - he says after a moment- I will duel in his place."
Joey and Tristan sweatdrop. Joey speaks up, "Erm, Bakura, we ain't dueling."
"What?!" He asks, astounded.
Joey nods, "Yeah, we're on a cooking show."
Bakura looks sceptically and looks over to Tristan, who nods in comformation. Rolling his eyes, Bakura concedes and begrudgingly agrees to cook in Ryou's place.
"Do you even know how to cook?" Tristan inquires.
" Fool. I know all that my pathetic Hikari does. Why would I not?" Bakura's ring starts to glow, and all five of the spikes point at Tristan, who in turn raises his hands.
Finally realizing the danger he's in, Tristan attempts to placate Bakura, "Woah, buddy, it was just a joke. Of course you can cook. -he coughs- Let's continue onto the final round shall we?"
Bakura only grunts, but Joey smiles excitedly. We cut to Joey's interview room. Smiling broadly, he is excited, "Wow! This competition's really heatin up! Get it? Cause we're cooking.. Anyway, gotta admit, I wasn't expectin to be cooking against Bakura. This'll be the easiest round yet! But wait... What if.. Nyeh, what if Bakura's really as good as he tinks he is?!"
Finally, we return to our competitors in the kitchen. Bakura, still wearing his menacing smirk, stands across from Joey in front of his cooking station. Joey cowers under his gaze, but straightens when he realizes they are live. Tristan stands in the middle, hands clasped in front of him, looking in between the two of them. "Chef Bakura, Chef Joey, can you honestly say you're ready to make a fantastic desert with any ingredients we have to offer?" Tristan asks.
"Bring it on!" Joey calls out. He raises a fist in triumph.
Scowling, Bakura barks out, " Of course, mortal!"
Ominously, Tristan states, "Well then, open your baskets... if you dare!" Both of them raise their eyebrows at him. Sheepishly, he ducks his head while they open their baskets. As they pull out the ingredients, Tristan announces them for the rest of us who aren't so good with identifying food items, "Alright, we have: white balsamic vinegar, chocolate covered peanuts, dried cranberries, and masa harina."
We cut to Joey's interview room again. " Chocolate covered peanuts.. Mmm.. They make me wanna grab em' and go see a movie. Sadly, I don't think the judges would look to kindly on dat.. Hmm..."
Back in the dining room, Tristan is still talking, "You'll have thirty minutes this time, beginning now."
While they both begin cooking, the camera first follows Bakura as he runs over to the pantry. We hear his voice, "Now that that fool Ryou is out of the picture. I can win us this competition. Moments ago, I sorted through his memories and learned that ten thousand dollars is on the line. There is alot I could use that money for. Of course, if that idiot Joey wins, I could always steal his winnings. It would not be to difficult."
Briefly, we wonder how they have time to record these interviews if they are supposed to be cooking, and if they do so afterwards, why do the competitors act as though they have no idea what is going to happen? However, we quickly shake this off and keep watching the show with some sense of fascination. At this point, we've been drawn in and must finish the program.
Bakura continues speaking, " I see the masa harina. Not sure what it is, but it looks like a type of flower. I choose to make a dish I'm familiar with- Baklava. It's a pastry type dish with multiple layers and honey. Traditionally, you would put pecans in it, but apparently, I need to use all of these.. mystery ingredients. They don't seem very mysterious as they've let us know what they are... Anyways, I actually don't want the chocolate from the peanuts on the dish. Yet. So, I chop them up and separate the chocolate as best as I can. The baklava takes about fifty minutes to cook, but I don't have that kind of time, so I turn the heat up extra high as I mix my dough."
Finally, we hear what Joey is thinking, "All these years I've trusted ma fate to da heart of the cards. No matter what! Now, it's pretty much da same thing. Just, ya know, switch cards with... Eh, cooking? Yeah, I think cooking fits best. Right of da bat, I gotta plan. Imma make a type of cake with that floury stuff. What was it called? Masarinia? Anyways, I measure out da flour-stuff, some sugar, and eggs and pour em into the mixer. Then I add a little cream, to make a sort of dough. Ryou's a nice guy. I woulda felt bad beatin his butt, but Bakura.. Na-uh! He's the only thing sittin between me and ten grand. I'm not gonna let him stop me! Yeah!"
We leave off with him kneading his blob of white dough and go over to the judges table to see where they stand.
Tristan begins, "So, judges. Masa harina. A type of flour right?" He looks at a bag of it. " Oh look it says right here on the bag. It's a corn flour."
Marik muses, " It's actually a really difficult flour to work with because it has hardly any gluten in it, so baking with it is always a problem."
The others are all used to Marik's suprising knowledge of cooking, but seeing as it is his first round here, Tristan is dumb founded, " Wow, Marik, where'd you learn so much about cooking?"
Huffily, Marik sighs, " Does it really suprise you all so much to learn that I know something?"
"We'll you did grow up in a cave..." Tristan trails off.
Marik glares at him, and the camera cuts over to Bakura, " My dish is going just as I wanted it to go! I've got it all layered buttered, so I put it in the oven. Now, I begin to think of what I am able to do with my left over ingredients. Namely, the vinegar and the cranberries. I think I'll add the cranberries to my suace for the baklava, but I'm unsure about what to do with the vinegar. Who the hell puts vinegar in a dessert basket?!"
Suddenly, Tristan cuts him off, " Fifteen minutes left!"
Bakura is utterly shocked. "The hell?!"
"Bakura, it's a time skip. Just ignore it and keep moving on. There's nothing we can do about it, believe me I tried." Joey explains.
As Bakura regains his composure, Joey bustles about his side of the kitchen, cutting out circles in the dough and placing them on a pan, "I look over at Bakura. He's already got his composure back. It's a little scary honestly. He's calm and collected and everything like dat, but I still think I'm a better chef dan dis guy. Anywho, the vinegar and the cranberries seemed to go together ta me, so I toss em' in a pan with a little sugar. I'm gonna use it as a fruit filling for my cakes, so I throw in some blueberries and let them cook down a little bit."
We see Bakura peeking into the oven, and he begins speaking, " Okay, I've checked on my Baklava. It's coming along nicely; it's already browning up. So, I start on my sauce. I boil the sugar and water, then add the chocolate from the peanuts, some honey, the cranberries. And, although it isn't exactly standard, I add the vinegar as well. I needed to have it in there so it is. To compensate, I added some lemon zest and juice. This will help give it a more acidic taste. Plus, lemon always goes well with honey."
Over with Joey, we see him frown after peeking in the oven on his cakes. " Okay, so these cakes are gonna be hot when dey come outta da oven. I need some sort of cream with them. They need ta be able ta stand up to da heat, so I decide to make a pastry cream. I start with the egg yolks and sugar and wisk dem together. Then I wisk in a little hot milk. I want this cream to be nice and thick, so I put it in da blast chiller. Now, I see Bakura. He keeps glancin at the clock. I think he's worried about the time for some reason. Maybe his pastry isn't getting done? Nah, that's not it. It must be dat sauce he's workin with."
Bakura is furiously mixing his sauce and muttering what sounds like, 'Ra-damned ingredients won't mix.' Over at the judges table, Tristan notes his strange behavior, "Bakura's kind of talking to himself over their at the stoves."
Mai nods, "I'm sensing some major urgency going on over there. I don't think his sauce is going along well at all, and we're on the final minutes of the final round. He better pull things together and fast."
Gruffly, Seto muses, " It's strange how different their cooking styles are. I mean Joey is staying at his station the majority of the time, showing a suprising amout of efficiency while Bakura is all over the place. He keeps running back and forth between the kitchen and the pantry and the fridge. He seems subtly, but noticeably worked up this round. Which, personally, I find peculiar; Bakura's not one to wear his emotion on his sleeve."
Tristan nods then after a glance at the clock turns to the contestants, "Alright chefs, we are at the five minute mark."
Off screen, Bakura shouts, " Mother of Isis!"
We cut over to Joey, "Yeah, my short cakes.. They ain't bakin' like I want em' to. I crank the oven up, but I'm very concerned they won't be done in time. While the shortcakes are in the oven, I decide to make another simple cream. I just poured it in a bowl and whip it up."
Bakura laughs evilly as we cut over to him, " Finally! The ingredients in my sauce mixed together. It took longer than I'd expected, but it's done. I tasted it: it's excellent, nice and thick. So, I go and check on my Baklava. Unfortunatly, I left it unwatched for too long. A little bit of it is burnt. As quickly as possible, I pull it out of the oven."
Tristan once again breaks in, suprising us all because the time skips are becoming more frequent, "Two minutes left on the clock."
Our contestants begin plating their dishes. Obviously still upset about burning his dish, Bakura grits his teeth as he cuts four triangular pieces and places them on a small plate. Then, he begins to drizzle his sauce over them. Joey is getting the componants of his dish together.
Joey says, " I took my cakes outta the oven, and it's really dry. But, there's nothing I can do about it, so I run over and grab my cream out of the blast chiller. And, mix in some chocolate peanuts. I'm not sure how all of these elements are going to work together, but I have ta get something on the plate."
As Tristan counts down from ten, Bakura and Joey struggle with the last few touches on their dishes. Joey drizzles his sauce in a criss cross pattern atop his short cakes while Bakura adds a dusting of powdered sugar to the top of his Baklava. "10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0. Times up. Step back."
They both comply, and the camera switches between shots of their faces. Joey wears a silly grin- per usual, and Bakura smirks evilly, and we hear his voice, "I look at my Baklava. Aside from a few burnt spots, it looks perfect."
Joey muses on his dish, "I see my dish. And I think' This is good enough to win ten-thousand dollars."
"What we see here is what the judges are getting for desert." Tristan informs them seriously. Bakura snorts, but remains silent. Tristan beckons them over with a wave, and they both make their way over. "Alright, Chefs, in this round, you were challenged to make an oustanding dessert using : white balsamic vinegar, chocolate covered peanuts, dried cranberries, and masa harina. -He gestures Joey forward- Chef Joey."
Joey grins from ear to ear, "Alright judges, I got the ten-thousand dollar dessert right here. I made ya a masahanioha short cake." He scratches his head. "That doesn't sound quite right."
Tristan theorizes, "Um, I think you meant to say masa harina."
Joey nods, "Oh yeah, that's the one. Anyway, I made a short cake with dried cranberry and blueberry sauce and a pastry cream that's mixed with the chocolate covered peanuts."
Filling in some left over time, Tristan implores, " So, tell us Joey, what are you going to do with the ten-thousand if you win as unlikely as that is."
Joey shakes his fist at Tristan, "Tristan! Don't make me knock your block off!"
Tristan waves him off dismissively, "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyways, I asked a question."
Realizing this, Joey gives in, " Oh yeah. Um," He tilts his head to the side. "I'm not really sure. " He grins from ear to ear. "I'll probably buy me and Serenity something. Like a car, or- Wait! I can get some new Duel Monster's cards!"
They all sweat drop.
Mai looks up from the short cake, "This short cake is ... delicious! It's fresh. It crumbles just the right way, and I like that you baked it. That's ambitious."
Marik agrees, " I love the berry sauce. You put the vinegar in it, and I think that the vinegar, the blueberry, the cranberry, and all the other spices went very well together. The only problem I have is the whipping cream. Is there any real reason you needed to have two different creams on there?"
"Yeah, I thought it was a bit too sweet. I think it was all a bit too much." Seto says.
Bakura smirks evilly.
Seriously, Mai asks, "Do you think you won today?"
Uncomprehendingly, Joey bellows, " Um, yeah of course I did! There was never any doubt!"
Tristan gestures him to step back, "All right, man, that's enough. Er, I mean, thank you, Chef Joey." Joey steps back, and Tristan gestures to Bakura. "Chef Ry- er- Bakura, please, show us what you have."
As Bakura speaks, the camera cuts to a shot of his dish, " I've made for you all a traditional Egyptian dish called Baklava. Marik you should be familiar with this."
Marik nods, "I am indeed."
Continueing, Bakura states," However, I changed a few things. I added cranberries, chocolate, and the vinegar to the sauce. And I used the the peanuts as a substitute for pecans."
Tristan drawls, "So Bakura, I heard that they already asked Ryou what he would do with the money if he won, but we didn't ask you. So, what will you do if you win the competition."
" I believe you mean when I win. Regardless, I plan to use it for my plans." Bakura says criptically.
Trist prods him for more infromation, "What plans?"
"Mind your own business!" Bakura snaps.
Tristan holds his hands up in surrender, "Alright man, just calm down, no big deal. Anyways, judges. What do you think of this dish."
Marik starts them off, "I like it. It reminds me of home. Although my piece was a little burnt in places." He pauses, waiting for an apology as per usual, but none is forthcoming. "I'm also a little adverse to the way the vinegar worked in this dish, or in actuality, didn't work."
Bakura scowls at them and grunts. Seto nods, "Mine is burnt as well, but I like the flavors. It's sweat and flaky and just overall good."
Mai shrugs, " Personally, I love it. I could eat it all day! It's a little crispy, but personnally, I like a good crunch although I think my companions dishes were more than a little crispy. Well, since I asked Joey, it's only fair to ask you too: Do you think you'll win this competition?"
Incredulous, Bakura raises an eyebrow, "Seriously?" She nods. "Well, allow me to answer your question with one of my own. Was there ever any doubt?"
Tristan sounds slightly pained as he speaks to them, " Well. Thank you chef Bakura. Chefs, you two certaintly haven't made things easy for our judges. They will now have to go through a decision making process, involving all three courses of your meals. Thank you."
Tristan gestures for them to leave, and they do, making their way to the little interview. The camera cuts to them. Joey attempts to have conversation with Bakura, "Soooooo..."
Joey raises his hands, "Right. Doing the shutting of the up now."
Back to the judges, As they talk about our two contestants, their pictures pop up at the bottom of the screen.
Marik begins, "With Ryo-er, Bakura- I do think that there was alot more technique displayed than with Chef Joey."
Begrudgingly, Seto nods, "Joey baked a text book short cake. It was crumbly it had all the right textures, but it was really cakey. And then he made garnishes for it."
"I liked the way he used the cranberries, and I think he used just the right amout of balsamic vinegar. So that it wasn't over powering, but that extra whipping cream he put on top of the regular cream, I feel like that really took away from the dessert as a whole." Marik explains.
Mai breaks in, "Changing the subject, I thought Bakura's baklava was really good. He was really thinking outside the box with those flavors. It was really sweet."
Marik agrees, "Yes, I loved it. Then again it was from my homeland. However, I wasn't all that thrilled about the changes he made."
Seto says, "I thought the cranberries and vinegar really overtook the flavors of that dish. I almost cringed at the tartness of it all. Flavor wise, I'm leaning towards ... You know what.. I think I'm not going to choose." His eye brow twitches.
To the camera, Mai whispers, "That's Kaiba-speak for 'I liked Joey's dish best.'" Seto growls at her, but doesn't refute her claims. " Though, I do agree. Flavor wise, I liked Joey's best. In the appetizer round, he gave us those delicious scallops and that salad.
"I didn't get any dressing." Seto says.
Marik sighs, " You're never going to let that go are you?"
Mai grins, " If this were anything else, I'd say your being stupid, but this is a competition. We can't just let something like that slide."
Marik nods, " Mmm, I suppose you're right. On the other hand, we have Ryou. He gave us those delicious fried scallops."
"At the same time, those beans were really undercooked. It was like chewing on marbles." Seto wrinkles his nose.
Marik shakes his head, "I still disagree. I thought it was delicious."
They lapse into an awkward silence. Since no one answered him, Marik grumbles to himself.
Mai finally breaks it, "Not to cause problems, but I was with Seto on that one. They were undercooked. In that second course though, Ryou's chicken really shined."
Seto agrees, "True, his flavor was alot better than Joey's, but we had that same problem with the cooking. The lentils were underdone."
Mai continues, "I liked that he did the chicken two ways. Doing that tequila-lime-butter poach was really good. It was all really good."
"I thought that Joey's chicken was good, not great but good.. And, he really stepped up his presentation compared to the first round." Marik notes.
Seto frowns, "Those carrots did not go well with the cheese at all. I just didn't like it."
" Yes," Mai concedes, " the sweetness from the carrots really clashed with that other flavor in the cheese, and not in the good way."
"I was just happy his dish didn't have lentils in it." Marik states.
Tristan looks at his watch and realizes that they are running out of air time, " But can you choose between, chef Ry-Bakura- and chef Joey?"
"I think we can." Seto nods, and the other two give their conformation as well.
" Alright. Let's bring our competitors back in." Tristan says.
Hands clasped behind their backs, Joey and Bakura walk back in, or in Bakura's case, stalks. They stand in front of the judges table. Although Bakura is unreadible and seemingly devoid of emotion besides a smirk, Joey looks slightly nervous. The music flairs dramatically as the camera jumps between shots of Joey, Bakura, Tristan, Mai, Seto, and Marik's faces. The camera cuts to Bakura's interview room. "I started off weak. Well, not me; it was Ryou. Regardless, he started off weak in this competition. But, since I was here to take over, we got better. Much better, and I have no doubt that I will be victorious. That fool Joey has no idea what he's dealing with. He is an idiot."
Joey is slightly more humble in his interview room than Bakura, " Bakura and Ryou are great chefs, but I think I got this one in the bag. I feel good about everything I made today, and I know my little sister is proud of how far I've come even if I do get sent home with nothin."
Back in the dining room, Tristan states more than asks, " So, whose dish is on the chopping block."
He freezes just before he takes of the lid. Furious, Seto lashes out, "What, is there some kind of code between you guys?! Take of the damn lid! I have things to do, so just do it."
Tristan shrugs, "Fine. It doesn't matter to me."
The tension builds as he slowly removes the lid. Once it is removed, we see Bakura's dish on the chopping block. His eye begins twitching, " What?!" He turns to Joey. "Congradulations, fool. It seems that the judges have taken pity on you."
Joey goes on the defensive, "Hey! Just own up. You lost."
Attempting to steer them back on track, Tristan speaks, "Chef Ryou and Bakura, you have been chopped."
Bakura rolls his eyes, " I already guessed that seeing as my dish is on what you have labeled, 'the chopping block.'"
Tristan blushes, ignoring the comment, " Ehem, Judges?"
Marik opts to explain, "We had a very difficult time coming up with a decision. I mean the bean salad Ryou made was delicious, and so was your baklava. Our mouthes are still watering just thinking about it."
Mai continues for him, " But what really worked for chef Joey was that his fearlessness just really came out on the plate. We appreciated your simplistic approach, but simplistic didn't do it for us."
"Simplistic? I made baklava! An Egyptian dessert." Bakura growls, outraged.
The judges glance around the room awkwardly. Seto is the first to recover, "So, for those reasons, we had to chop you."
"All in all though, great performance." Tristan adds.
Bakura smiles unsettlingly, "Of course, I thank you all for such a wonderful opportunity." He stalks out of the room.
Joey is the first to speak, "Sometin ain't right. He took that way to well..."
The camera cuts to the hall where Bakura is leaving. " It was just a cooking competition. I'm upset over loosing sure. It was... unexpected and very upsetting, but there is more to life than food. More important things to be done. More important people to kill."
He leaves the building and we don't see him anymore, so the camera cuts back to the judges room. "So that means, chef Joey, that you are our next chopped champion. Hey are you crying?" Tristan asks, pointing at Joey.
Joey tears up, and though he tries to hide it, we see it clearly, "I'm not crying; I'm just so happy that I won."
Everyone but Seto applauds him.
" Don't let this get your confidence up, mutt. You're still a bad duelist." Joey shakes his fist at Kaiba as he stands up.-"Now, I've had enough of cooking and this show. Come on, Mokuba, we're leaving."
Mokuba runs in from the interview room. "Sure thing, Seto."
They walk out the door.
Joey squwaks, "Nyah! Where did he come from?"
Dismissively, Mai waves, "Don't let him get to you, Joey. You did a really good job."
Joey grins at her, "Thanks Mai! That means alot!" The camera cuts to his interview room. "Wow! I, me, Joey Wheeler, am a chopped champion! Alright man. Dat's awesome! I don't care what that jerk Kaiba said. I proved to myself and everyone else that I am good at somethin.' No ones gonna ever bring me down!"
The screen fades to black, and the credits role.
Let it be known that later that night, Joey's money was stolen by some unknown force.
On a completely unrelated note, Ryou won ten-thousand dollars on a scratch off.
Yami and Téa lived happily ever after.
Pegasus created new cards, making even more money. He also broke the guiness book of world record's record for tasting the most different kinds of wine.
Tristan went on to host the Iron Chef when their usual host, Duke Devilin, was unable to make it.
Marik moved back to Egypt in order to avoid the bad publicity he recieved due to his hatred of lentils.
Mai uped the size of her implants... again. It scares us all to know that they can get bigger...
Seto hosted another duel monster's tournemet, trying to get past the cooking show and on to better pastures.
Mokuba is still happily following Seto around.
And Batman is still the God-damned Batman.
SO! There you have it! Thanks to everyone who read this! And a super special awesome thanks to everyone who reviewed! YOU guys are awesome!
Even though I'm finished with this story. Review. And also go check out my other stories. Those are alot more serious than this one. And I plan to start a few more as soon as I finish my long chaptered fic, so be on the look out for those.